A New Beginning
by tophercolfer
Summary: Burt and Elizabeth Hummel got divorced when Kurt was 9. Burt was supposed to have custody of Kurt but Elizabeth left in the middle of the night along with their son. What happens when Elizabeth dies when Kurt is 16 and is sent to live with Burt?
1. Hello Again

Burt didn't know how to feel. Getting a letter that his ex wife died and that his son was going to be sent to live with him after 7 years. That's insane. He hasn't heard from either of them for years. He had no idea where they were. He hasn't been a part of his sons life in so long. He was terrified to be honest. Sure he knew the kid for 9 years of his life but who knows what kind of stuff Elizabeth put in his head about him. Originally he was supposed to keep Kurt. It was partly Kurt's decision to, especially with how Lizzy had been acting around that time. And Lizzy agreed saying she wasn't fit to care for a child alone. But she still left with him, leaving Burt worried and alone wondering what was going to happen to his son and Lizzy. Kurt would be sent to him later today and he was internally freaking out. He didn't know how to deal with a teenager. Heck his room was exactly the way he had left it except for all his clothes everything was gone.

He only has recently dealt with teenagers. His first girlfriend since Lizzy, Carole, has a teenage son named Finn. Finn was a pretty good kid. They bonded over football and other sports. The relationship is still mostly new but Carole knew about Kurt.

Burt paced back and forth waiting for child services to ring the door bell and change his life. He briefly wondered what Kurt was interested in. Maybe sports like Finn. But if he was anything like he was when he was nine, he would still care about his clothes getting dirty. Burt's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door bell ringing. He took a deep breath before walking forward and opening the door. He was met by a woman and a man in some kind of uniform.

"Burt Hummel?" The man asked.

"Yeah that's me. Your child services?" He asked them. They nodded.

"Yes that's us. We just wanted to inform you of a few things before we let Kurt out of the car." The woman said. Burt nodded. "Okay you are aware of the death of Elizabeth correct?" He nodded once again. "It was actually suicide." Burt's eyes widened.

"What?"

"Elizabeth killed herself. And in front of Kurt too." The man answered.

"I- wow. That's terrible. How did Kurt take it?" He asked unable to believe it.

"Kurt was traumatized of course. He's in therapy sessions and its your duty to take him there every Thursday after school." The woman said and Burt nodded.

"Not a problem. But who was taking him before?" He asked. The two officers shared a look.

"His boyfriend, Blaine Anderson." The man responded.

"He's gay?"

"Will that be a problem Mr Hummel?" The woman challenged. Burt shook his head immediately.

"No of course not. He can't help that he's gay. I kinda thought he was when he was younger but things can change in 7 years." The officers both seemed pleased with his answer.

"Okay we are obligated to tell you that Kurt got bullied at his first school and his mother pulled him out and now he attends Dalton Academy. But though he was able to get out of that situation, he was sadly being abused at home as well." Burt looked at them dumbfounded.

"Are you saying that..Lizzy was beating him?" Burt knew the answer, they already said it. But it was so hard to believe.

"Yes. We have a report from Kurt's friends at Dalton, his boyfriend and his family, and Kurt himself. The reason he never told was because Elizabeth told him you died when he was 13. He didn't want to be sent somewhere else. He made his friends swear to secrecy. They did until Kurt didn't show up to school for about 3 days. They went to his house, and Kurt was barely hanging on and his mother was hanging from the ceiling." The woman said.

"Oh my God. That kid has been through hell and back hasn't he?" Burt couldn't believe all the shit that Kurt had been though and mentally made it his mission to keep him safe.

"Yes, he has. And we want to guarantee that we won't have to worry about things getting worse if we leave him here."

"I promise I'll take care of him. I'll meet his friends, his boyfriend, take him to therapy, anything to make him feel safe and happy." Burt answered quickly and they smiled at him.

"Good. We'll let you have your son. Now he's kind of withdrawn and quiet but just try and bond with him. He used to sing we've been told. So surround him with music and things he loves. Everything should be fine." Burt knew it wouldn't he as easy as that but he'll take as much advice as he could get.

"Okay thank you so much. Can I see him now?" They nodded and headed back to the car. They came out with a boy who was looking down. His shirt was way too big for him and his sweat pants were a little short. He was only carrying a book bag and a small suitcase.

"Kurt are you ready to see your dad again?" He heard one of the workers ask. Kurt didn't answer. He didn't even look up when they came to the door step.

"Hey buddy. It's good to see you again." Burt spoke softly and genuinely. Kurt hesitantly lifted his head and Burt did his best to keep his expression neutral. Kurt had a black eye, a split lip, and various bruises around his face and neck.

"It's good to see you too." Kurt said quietly.

"Why don't you take him to where he's sleeping, he's hasn't gotten any sleep." The man suggested. "We'll wait here." Burt nodded.

"Follow me Kurt. I'll take you to your room." Kurt followed Burt slowly with his head down. Burt stopped at Kurt's bedroom and opened the door, ushering Kurt inside.

"The bathroom is through that door over there. You can shower if you like before you sleep. And I'll wake you up for dinner later. That sound okay, kiddo?" Kurt nodded.

"I'll be outside talking to the social workers if you need me." Burt said before hesitantly leaving the room.

"He's getting settled in now. Anything else important you'd like to tell me?" He asked once he made it back to the front door.

"Just that we'll leave Kurt in your hands. We think you'll be good for him." The woman smiled.

"Also he doesn't have many possessions, as you may have noticed. He needs new clothes but not much because Dalton is a uniform school. If he shows interest in something it would probably be nice to encourage it." The man advised. "I think that's about it Mr Hummel. Take care of Kurt."

"I will. Thank you both."

"No problem, have a good night."

Burt sighed quietly as he closed the door. This was a lot to take in. But he would do anything to make his son happy. He walked into the kitchen and looked into the cabinets. The only thing he could make without making it taste completely horrible is spaghetti. So he made just that. He started boiling the water and decided to go check on Kurt. He went down the hall and was about to open the door when he heard Kurt speak.

"No, he's nice so far. As nice as I remember actually." Kurt said. Burt frowned as he heard another voice and made no move to leave.

"That's good. You'll be safe there." It was another guy.

"What if he starts to hit me too?" Kurt sounded so scared and unsure. Burt wanted to make it clear that he'd never do anything to harm Kurt.

"Then you'll just live with me again baby. But I don't think you have anything to worry about, they wouldn't have left you there if they weren't sure he wouldn't hurt you." Ah so this was the boyfriend.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. But I know nothing about him, everything is so different now. Do I call him dad or sir? Does he even consider me his son. I'm probably just his charity case." Kurt mumbled sadly and bitterly. Burt had to restrain himself from going inside the room and doing everything in his power to convince Kurt that he was his son and not some community service project.

"Listen, I don't know anymore than you about your dad. But just give him a shot okay? I have a feeling everything will be okay." Burt was really beginning to like this kid.

"Okay. I will. I should probably go but I'll Skype you later on."

"Okay. I love you, and promise me something?"

"Depends on what it is."

"Promise me you won't shut him out. I know how hard it is for you to open up to people but later on you'll thank yourself for it." Burt was surprised at how wise Kurt's boyfriend sounded.

"I'll try Blaine. I love you. Talk to you later." There was a few moments of silence before Burt heard the clicking sound of the laptop closing. He waited a few minutes before knocking on the door.

"Kurt? Can I come in?"

"Yeah, you can come in." Burt slowly opens the door and walks in.

"Um I'm making some spaghetti for dinner. I hope you don't mind it. I'm not really the best cook." Burt admitted and he swore Kurt's lips quirked up for a quick second.

"Spaghetti is okay." Kurt murmured.

"Good, good. Uh, you can go to the living room and watch TV if you want or just stay in your room until dinner is ready." Burt told him. Kurt nodded.

"Thanks." Burt paused before leaving the room and walking back to the kitchen to finish dinner.

Dinner was a rather awkward affair. Neither knew what to say to the other. The tense air around them was filled by the sounds of them eating.

"So, this school of yours, Dalton Academy, you like it?" Burt asked him. Kurt nodded but didn't look up.

"Yes sir." He responded quietly. Burt sighed.

"Okay listen, I know it's been 7 years but I'm still your dad. Or if you're not comfortable with it you can call me Burt until you're ok with calling me dad." Burt told him gently.

"Okay, thank you Burt." It was quiet for a while before Kurt took a deep breath and spoke. "Dalton is amazing. Its like my safe haven and I met a lot of people there who really care about me." Kurt murmured just loud enough for Burt to hear.

"Like your boyfriend?" And maybe Burt shouldn't have been so upfront about that but how was he supposed to know how Kurt was going to react. He expected a blush or denial or something like that. But Kurt looked scared.

"Please don't hurt me.." Kurt whimpered and his breathing was increasing rapidly. Burt got up but then thought about it. He would probably only scare Kurt more if he approached him.

"I- Kurt I'm not going to hurt you. I don't care if you're gay. I promise. I had a hunch when you were younger." Burt said as gently as he could.

"Mom didn't accept me. Why would you?" Kurt whispered and some tears spilled down his cheeks. Burt swallowed thickly.

"You were supposed to stay with me instead of leaving with your mother...she was unstable. I will never do anything to harm you." But told him firmly but in a low voice. Kurt nodded a little and calmed down.

"I-I I'm sorry for my reaction. When I told her I had a boyfriend...she didn't take it very well." Kurt murmured to him. Burt nodded.

"You don't have to tell me anything yet Kurt. We'll ease into the heavy conversations. " Burt said. And Kurt gave him a small smile.

"Thanks Burt."

"No problem kiddo."

When Kurt went to his room at the end of the night he showered and put on some clothes Blaine gave him. Then he grabbed his laptop. He didn't have a phone. Just a laptop. It was a present from Blaine's parents. He waited for Blaine to get online so he could Skype him.

"Hey baby." Blaine answered with a smile.

"Hey Blaine. What are you doing?" Kurt asked getting comfortable in bed.

"Missing you. The boys miss you too."

"I miss you guys too."

"Do you know when you're coming back to school?"

"Maybe Monday. I don't know. I could ask Burt in the morning." Kurt told his boyfriend.

"Speaking of your dad, how was your first day with him?" Blaine asked hoping he got a happy answer.

"He-I he doesn't mind that I'm gay. He asked me about Dalton. He assured me he wasn't going hit me. He made me food, let me shower, Blaine it's too good to be true. " Kurt cried.

"Babe." Blaine breathed. He knew what Kurt went through but even so, the thought that the simplest things his father did surprised him made his heart clench. "You deserve all of this alright? This is how it's supposed to be."

"But she told me-"

"Kurt, sweetheart, forget what she told you. She's gone Kurt. She can't hurt you anymore." Blaine spoke softly. Kurt closed his eyes and let tears fall.

"Then why am I still hurting?" Blaine forced himself not to cry.

"Because it takes time to heal after something as traumatic as what you had to go through." Blaine reminded Kurt.

"I just want to get over it. I don't want the nightmares, the impulsive reactions, the fear. It's too much sometimes." Kurt whispered. Blaine wished he was there to hold his boyfriend. He told him as much.

"I wish you were here too. I really miss you."

"I miss you. And you'll make it through this. Trust me." Trust was hard for Kurt but he and Blaine grew to the point where Kurt couldn't even doubt that he trusted Blaine.

"I'll make it through this." Kurt said out loud although hesitantly. Blaine smiled.


	2. Trying

**Authors note: Thank you to everyone who followed/favorited/reviewed my story! ^.^ It really means a lot! So as a thank you here's the next chapter! (I'm probably just going to update every weekend, so don't expect the next chapter for a few days!) **

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><p>Kurt woke up early in the morning in a cold sweat from a nightmare. He usually tried not to think about what happened after they occurred. He didn't want to relive it again. So he got up and tried to busy his mind. He knew Blaine was still sleep so he started looking around the house. He was already surprised that his room was exactly the same as he left it. He hoped Burt let him renovate it soon.<p>

He traveled down the hallway and noticed pictures of him and Burt all around. He smiled to himself. Burt still loved him when he was gone.

He moved to the living room and found one picture with him, Burt, and his mother. It was beautiful. They were smiling and happy and for some reason it made Kurt angry. Why couldn't it be like that forever. Why'd his mom begin to hate him? To hit him? To want to kill him? Before he knew it the glass of the picture was shattered on the floor. He didn't mean to do it. In fact, he barely remembers doing it. Oh god, he thought, Burt was going to kill him.

"Kurt? You in there? What was that noise?" Kurt's eyes widened. He was only here a day and he already ruined things with Burt. He stupidly tried to pick up the pieces and the sharp glass cut his hands. Kurt couldn't stop the tears from falling from his eyes.

When Burt walked in to his son crying with bloody hands and broken glass of the last family picture they all took together he knew he had to handle this gently. He hurried to Kurt and brought him away from the glass and into the kitchen. After cleaning his wounds, he told Kurt to stay put as he cleaned the glass. Kurt didn't respond. Only held his head down. Burt sighed but went to clean up the mess. Burt silently picked up the picture. When he used to look at it he would smile and think of all the great memories. But he'll never look at it the same way again. She broke Kurt. Kurt needed knew memories. Memories that weren't clouded by harm, hate, or death.

He finished cleaning up and put the picture in one of the storage drawers before heading back to Kurt.

"Kiddo? You okay?" Burt asked kneeling down next to Kurt who was sitting with his head downwards staring at his hands.

"She was right." He was whispering over and over again. Burt frowned.

"Who was right Kurt?"

"I ruin everything. She was right." It suddenly clicked in his head.

"Kurt? You did nothing wrong-Except trying to pick up all that glass. What ever she put in your head is a lie." Burt told him and tried to comfort him by squeezing his shoulder but he just flinched back.

"I'm sorry." Kurt whimpered.

"It's not your fault. I shouldn't have tried to touch you." Burt assured him.

"You're my dad. You shouldn't have to ask to touch me." Kurt said sounding frustrated with himself.

"Hey calm down. It's okay. Remember it's only your second day it's going to take time to get used to this." Burt said, not even sure if he was helping. But it seemed to calm Kurt down a bit.

"Now why don't we make some breakfast?" Kurt nodded and Burt looked in the refrigerator to see what we have.

"I told you I'm not the best cook. But we have eggs and bacon. But I sure as hell make some mean toast." Burt succeeded in getting his first laugh out of Kurt. It was just a chuckle but it was enough for him.

"I..c-can cook." Kurt murmured. Burt looked at him.

"Would you like to?" Kurt nodded. "You can do the bacon and eggs. I'll make toast and coffee. Do you drink coffee?" Kurt nodded once more.

They got to work making breakfast. It was a quiet affair mostly.

"How'd you learn how to cook?" Burt asked while Kurt expertly made them both omelets.

"I taught myself. I um..mom would forget to cook some days for me. So I decided I needed to learn how to fend for myself." Kurt's voice got lower as he explained the last part. Burt squeezed his eyes shut. This kid was stronger than he thought.

"Well at least now I have someone to teach me." Burt tried to lighten the mood and it worked. Kurt smiled hesitantly over his shoulder.

"I would love to."

When breakfast ready they both sat down to eat. Burt was chowing down and Kurt was eating slowly.

"This is really good kiddo. You wanna be a chef or something when you grow up?"

"No...I-I wanted to be on Broadway." Kurt said.

"Wanted? What happened to that dream?" Burt asked taking a sip of his coffee.

"It was just a dream. I'm not special enough for Broadway. I don't even sing anymore." Kurt muttered. Burt sighed inaudibly but didn't try to change his mind.

"That's too bad. I bet you were amazing. But there's always room for more dreams." Burt said and Kurt smiled thankfully at him.

* * *

><p>Soon they were both done with breakfast and Kurt offered to do the dishes.<p>

"Hey, how would you like to go shopping kid?" Burt asked when he was done. Something in Kurt's eyes came alive when he asked that.

"For what?"

"Stuff for you. You need some clothes that fit you. And I noticed you don't have a cell phone so we'll get you one. And anything else you might want." Burt said with a smile. Kurt looked speechless.

"I...thank you." Kurt said.

"Hey, it's my job to provide you with things you need and spoil you a little." Burt told him. Kurt's eyes welled up with tears but he held them in. Kurt nodded.

"I'll get dressed."

* * *

><p>They went to the mall and Kurt stuck close to Burt's side. His eyes were everywhere.<p>

"You okay?"

"I- my bruises. Everyone is staring." Kurt stammered.

"Show them that you don't care. Just look straight ahead. They can judge you all you want but it shouldn't matter to you." Kurt looked at Burt with awe.

"I'll try."

"Good" Burt smiled. "Now what kind of clothes do you like kid?"

"I haven't been shopping in years..can we go anywhere?" Kurt asked and Burt nodded. They went to the next clothing store they saw. Kurt was overwhelmed by all the amazing clothes they had. Burt chuckled at his enthusiasm.

"Go ahead and pick out a few outfits." Burt told his son. Kurt looked at him with wide eyes.

"What do you want me to wear?" Kurt asked and Burt frowned.

"It's whatever you want Kurt." Kurt gave him another look of awe again before slowly moving towards a clothing rack. It was a trip watching how he looked at the clothes, feeling the fabric, and matching his clothing with accessories. Before Burt knew it Kurt had five new outfits. He threw in some t shirts for Kurt for days when he just wanted to stay in.

They went to the phone store next to clothing store. Kurt got a kick out of watching Burt try to work a touch screen phone.

"In my day we had buttons that you can actually feel."

Then afterward they just roamed. Burt keeping an eye out on things that Kurt's eyes lingered on for a while so he can get it for him. They talked a little while they walked around. Burt told Kurt about his girlfriend Carole and her son Finn (He would've found out eventually anyway). Kurt told him that maybe soon he'd like to meet them but he knew Kurt wouldn't take too well with strangers for a while. Kurt told him about his friends and Blaine a little bit more. That also gave Burt an idea. He wanted to invite Kurt's friends and boyfriend over. That would show Kurt how much he cared and wanted to be a part of his life.

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><p>When they got home Kurt insisted that he make dinner, Burt didn't argue. His son was an amazing cook.<p>

"Hello my love. You look like you had a good day." Blaine said when Kurt answered to call. Kurt was smiling a lot more which was an excellent sign.

"He took me shopping. I have my own clothes! And he brought me a phone so you can text me and call me when you can't Skype." Kurt explained to his boyfriend. Blaine couldn't help but smile.

"That's amazing love. And I see you're cooking." Blaine gestured to the apron Kurt was wearing.

"Yeah I asked if I could cook. I want to do something nice to thank him for what he's already done for me." Kurt admitted. Blaine looked at Kurt lovingly.

"You are amazing." Kurt smiled at him in thanks.

"How are the boys today?" Blaine told him the tale of how Jeff played a prank on Wes an dyed his hair blond. And then Wes made anyone who laughed at him (in the warblers) get a blond streak in their hair.

"Please tell me part of your hair isn't blond." Kurt said horrified. Blaine chuckled.

"No. I managed to hold in laughter until Wes was out of earshot." Blaine smirked.

"I miss you guys and your stupidity." Kurt pouted.

"We miss you too. When are you coming back?"

"I don't know. Burt hasn't said anything about school yet."

"Ask him now. I'd love to meet him." Blaine suggested.

"I technically just met him. Don't you think it's too soon for that?" Kurt asked.

"Kurt we've been together for 2 years." Kurt glared at him.

"I meant he barely knows me. What makes you think he'll be ready to meet my boyfriend." Blaine shrugged. Kurt did have a point.

"Well just ask him. You don't have to bring him here." Kurt sighed and mumbled a quick 'I'll be back'. He went to the living room where Burt was watching Deadliest Catch.

"Uh..Burt?" He asked nervously. Burt turned around.

"What's up kiddo?"

"I was uh just wondering when I'm going back to school?" Kurt questioned wringing his hands together. Burt's eyebrows shot up and he chuckled.

"You're probably the only kid in this town who wants to actually go to school." Burt chuckled. Kurt smirked a little.

"I like to be different." He teased a bit, surprising himself with how his easy this was to talk to his dad.

"When do you want to go back?" Burt asked.

"Monday."

"Okay then. I'll take you to Dalton on Monday." Burt smiled at Kurt's little cheer.

"Thank you!"

"No problem." Kurt turned to go back to the kitchen. "Oh and Kurt?" Kurt turned to look back. "I'd love to meet Blaine actually. Tell him he's coming over this Friday." Burt said before turning back to his show. Kurt stood in shock for a while before walking back to the kitchen.

"So..what did he say?" Blaine asked when Kurt came back.

"I'll be back on Monday." Blaine cheered at this. "And he wants you to come over Friday."

"Oh really?" Blaine said smugly. Kurt chuckled.

"Aren't you supposed to be nervous? I was when I met your dad." Kurt recalled.

"I have the rest of the week to be nervous." Blaine decided, "besides I'm too excited that I get to see you soon."

"You sap." Kurt smiled.

"I'm your sap." Blaine told him proudly.

"Yes you are."

"Always and forever?"

"Really Blaine? How cheesy can you get?"

"To infinity and beyond?" Blaine teased. Kurt groaned.

"That's even worse."

"How about...fearlessly and forever?" Kurt paused and smiled at him softly.

"I am yours..and you are mine. Fearlessly and forever...I like that."

"Yay! We have a thing now!" Blaine cheered happily. Kurt shook his head his boyfriend was a goofball.

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><p><strong>Hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Next chapter Kurt goes to Dalton! Please let me know what you think so far! (Also i apologize for any mistakes i must have looked over!)<strong>


	3. Strong?

**Authors Note: The response to this story is amazing! Thank you so much for reading! Here's the next chapter! I'm off school for a whole week so the next chapter might be up sooner than you think ;) Anyways there is some past violence in this so beware. Enjoy!**

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><p>The rest of the weekend went smoothly. Burt and Kurt were getting along well and Kurt couldn't wait to go back to school. He woke up too early with a nightmare (that he still hadn't told Burt he got.) and made breakfast for him and Burt. He was already dressed and ready to go and hour early so he started looking more around the house. He stayed away from the pictures this time and walked down to the basement. He was surprised when he found it as an almost empty space except for a piano, some music sheets, and a lot of CD's and records. He could tell that Burt hasn't been in here recently, if the layer of dust everything was covered in was anything to go by.<p>

Kurt hesitantly browsed the the CD's and records. There was a lot of Mellencamp music and The Beatles. Kurt picked up a Beatles record. The record had some of his favorite songs on it. Not that it mattered anymore. The urge to sing or even hear the songs were gone, as he was soon hit by a flashback.

"_Blackbird sitting in the dead of night. Take those broken wings and learn to fly, All your life. You were always waiting for this moment to arise."_

"Stop singing that damn song!" Kurt jumped at the sound of his mothers voice. She's been angry at him ever since he came out.

"I'm sorry mom..was I being too loud?" Kurt asked gently. She walked-well stumbled into the room Kurt looked at her confused.

"I don't want to hear your voice. Just shut up." Her voice slurred. Kurt looked at her with wide eyes and inhaled sharply. _She was drunk again._

"Mom? Have you been drinking again?" Kurt's voice wavered as she kept walking towards him. This has been happening too much

"It's none of your business what I've been doing. Just stop that fucking music right now." She yelled going to Kurt's iPod doc and ripping out the iPod.

"Mom!" Kurt gasped. "I'm sorry but I'll stop that with that song but I really need to practice for Warblers practice tomorrow!"

"Do it somewhere else because tonight I'm not putting up with your screechy voice. You'll never make it anywhere with it so I don't know why you're even trying." She said with a sadistic smirk on her face. Kurt's eyes burned with tears.

"I will make it. I'm not going to let anyone push me around. Remember dad said nobody pushes the Hummels aroun-" Kurt wasn't able to finish as he was shoved hard against the wall. His eyes became terribly wide and he began shaking in fear.

"Your father isn't here anymore Kurt. Now you are going to say it with me. 'I will never make it anywhere in life.'" She said in a low voice. Kurt stared in her eyes but didn't say anything. She narrowed her eyes at him. Then she slapped him hard on his face.

"_Say it_." She said in a hard voice. Kurt suppressed a sob and took a deep breath.

"I...will n-never make it anywhere..in l-life." He let his tears fall freely and watched as his mother smiled. She kissed his forehead softly. She used to do it all the time and Kurt would always feel a rush of warmth fill his chest. But now all he felt was coldness.

"That's my boy." She patted his bruised cheek gently. "When you realize that you're not good enough early in your life, you wont be so surprised when you fail later on." She told him. Kurt looked away from her as she walked to the door. He waited until she was out of the room to begin crying.

It's been like this a lot lately. The shoving, the hitting (usually it was on parts of his body that no one else could see), and the harsh words. But he didn't tell anyone. She was all he had left so he accepted that this was how it was going to be from then on. That was also the day Kurt stopped singing, hoping it would save him from his mother's violence.

It didn't.

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><p>"-urt! Kurt! Can you hear me?"<p>

Kurt snapped his eyes open and looked up to see Burt staring at him with concern. Kurt looked around quickly remembering that he was in the basement.

"Jeez kiddo. You sure know how to scare your old man." Burt chuckled humorlessly. Kurt looked down and Burt frowned. Things were going so well between then this weekend. What happened?

"Okay come on. Get up off the floor. It's quiet a ride until we make it to Dalton so we need to leave soon." Burt waited for Kurt to stand up by himself, knowing Kurt wouldn't want to be touched. "Did you eat yet?" Kurt nodded. Burt sighed to himself.

"Okay just let me get something to eat and then we'll get on the road."

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><p>The ride was silent. Kurt looked down at his lap for almost the whole ride and Burt was trying to think of something to say to get Kurt to talk to him.<p>

"Want to tell me whats wrong?" Burt asked. They were 10 minutes from Dalton so he decided to make the most of this time. Kurt just shook his head but Burt wasn't going to give up that easily.

"Okay I understand. You don't have to tell me right now." Burt briefly looked to the side to see Kurt's shoulders relax a bit. "So whats your favorite color?" Burt asked. Kurt looked up at Burt with a look of confusion.

"What?" Kurt wondered out loud. Burt bit back a smile, he knew he could get Kurt to talk to him.

"What's your favorite color?" Burt repeated. "When you were little, you're favorite color was green and for about two weeks you would refuse to wear anything that wasn't green." Burt chuckled at the horrified but amused look on Kurt's face.

"Seriously? What was wrong with me?" Kurt wondered aloud with a small laugh in his voice.

"Nothing." Burt shrugged. "You just loved the color green." There was a comfortable silence before Kurt spoke up once again.

"I don't think I have a favorite color anymore. A few years ago I was obsessed with this sort of honey color." Kurt recalled.

"Did you wear it all the time?" Burt joked. Kurt smiled a little.

"No. I didn't have to. The color is always around me anyways." A little blush spread across Kurt's cheeks but he didn't question it as they were pulling up in the Dalton parking lot. Burt stopped the car and looked to Kurt.

"Need me to go in with you or you okay by yourself?"

"I'd like it if you'd walk in with me." Kurt said biting his lip. Burt nodded and got out of the car, Kurt following. Burt let out a long whistle when they entered the school. It was huge.

"How the hell did Lizzy pay for this" Burt wondered under his breath but Kurt heard anyway.

"I got a scholarship and I was an emergency transfer. It pays almost all of my tuition." Kurt told him. Burt had forgotten that Kurt had to transfer. Burt was about to respond but realized they've already made it to the door of the main office.

"Boys. Class is in five minutes, you cannot wait here for Kurt."

"Please sir we know he's almost here."

"Yeah Mr. Keaton give us a minute."

"Boys I don't think-" at that moment Kurt and Burt came face to face with the headmaster of Dalton. "Well looks like you boys were right. Welcome back Kurt." The headmaster said with a smile.

"Kurt!" The boys yelled. They didn't run to him and try to hug him like Burt expected. They stood away at a respectful distance smiling like idiots. Kurt was the one to move first. He went to the one whose hair was gelled neatly and hugged him. The boy then proceeded to wrap his arms around him tightly.

"I missed you."

"I know I did too." The boy then pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. So that's Blaine, Burt thought.

Kurt then proceeded to hug the other boys(much shorter than he hugged Blaine.) while the headmaster talked to Burt.

"Its very nice to meet you Mr. Hummel. Kurt is one of our top students here." He praised.

"Wow, that's amazing. He's a great kid so I'm not surprised." Burt remarked and the headmaster smiled.

"He is. Well Mr. Hummel I have to get back to work. I hope to see you a lot more often." He said and Burt looked to Kurt and his excitable friends.

"You will."

* * *

><p>"So Burt. These are my friends Wes, David, Nick, Jeff, and Blaine." Kurt told him after the headmaster left.<p>

"Its nice to meet you all." Burt said. He mostly said it to Blaine who was looking at him with an unreadable expression. The other boys were looking between Burt and Blaine with worry and confusion.

"Blaine stop being creepy." The kid next to Blaine, Wes Burt remembered, nudged him and spoke out of the corner of his mouth.

"Its nice to meet you too Mr. Hummel. We are so glad Kurt has someone to take care of him." Another boy, David, said to him.

"I'm glad too. And if I'm not mistaken you boys have class." Burt said sternly. "Have a good day kiddo." Burt was about to turn around but Kurt gave him an unexpected hug. Burt was stunned but managed to hug back.

"I'll see you after school." Kurt said before turning back to his friends. Burt smiled slightly at his son walking away before heading out to the car.

* * *

><p>"What was that staring match you and Burt had this morning about?" Kurt asked. It was lunch time. The whole day people had been coming to Kurt asking if he was okay or saying how glad they were that he was back. Kurt was glad things had calmed down a bit. The only time he liked that kind of attention was when he sang. But things were different now.<p>

"I don't know what you're talking about." Blaine evaded but Kurt glared at him. "What?"

"Did you really want to leave a bad first impression?" Kurt asked. "I want you to like him and I want him to like you." Blaine sighed.

"I just want you to be safe. I thought your mom was nice at first, but you know." Blaine admitted. "I'm sorry for making you upset."

"I'm not upset Blaine." Kurt said grabbing his hand. "I just want you both to like each other."

"And we will baby. On Friday I'll meet him again and everything will work out." Blaine said pressing a kiss to his cheek. "I've been meaning to ask you, how are the nightmares going?"

"Still get them...And the daydreams. I don't think Burt knows." Kurt sighed.

"You should tell him." Blaine suggested.

"Blaine..it's not that easy-"

"I know I know. There's no rush, I was just saying." Blaine held up his hands in defense. Kurt chuckled. Then they were approached.

"Okay, can we have some Kurt time too?" Nick asked with a playful but hopeful smirk. David, Wes, and Jeff nodded along to Nick's words.

"Yeah, we really missed you too Kurt." Jeff said genuinely. Kurt looked up at his friends and smiled.

"I missed you too." Kurt assured them. "Its just that people kind of make me nervous right now."

"We know. But it's only us." Wes said with a shrug.

"You are still the same Kurt you were to use before this whole debacle." David added. Kurt had to smile at that.

"Thanks guys." Kurt was glad his friends ignored his bruises and just tried making things normal like it used to be. They knew most of what happened but Kurt didn't want to talk about it. He wasn't ready just yet.

"So Kurt, how's your new home?" Nick asked.

"Fine. Burt is really amazing." Kurt told them all about how his first weekend was, leaving out some details about his breakdowns.

"That's great Kurt. We're really proud of you, you know?" Wes told him. Kurt gave him a confused look.

"Why?"

"Uh because you're so strong man!" David said as if it were obvious.

"Exactly, after what you've been through, you're letting people in, you're not giving up-" Jeff started.

"Stop." Kurt said with frustration. "I'm not strong. Stop acting like I'm this am amazing person when I'm just a broken one."

"Kurt." Blaine said in a surprised voice.

"Not now." Kurt got up. "I need to leave for a minute, excuse me." Kurt left the lunchroom ignoring the calls from his friends. He ran into the bathroom and hid in the stall. His eyes were filled with angry tears. He didn't let them fall though.

_Strong_. He wanted to be strong. He felt he was being strong while he was dealing with his mom. But now? He just feels...lost. He doesn't know what to do with himself anymore. No matter what he does, he's still plagued by memories of his mother. And it hurts, that he can't do anything. He can never ask her why she took joy in his pain. He can never get closure. Kurt briefly wondered what would have happened if his friends didn't come to find him. He probably would have died...would that have been better? His thoughts were interrupted by someone coming in the bathroom.

"Kurt?" It was Wes.

"If you're here to tell me I'm strong, I will just deny it." Kurt told him truthfully. Wes chuckled.

"I figured that. I just want to talk to you for a second."

"Okay, talk."

"Kurt just come out."

Kurt sighed before coming out of the stall. "Happy?"

"Listen I'm sorry." Wes apologized. "I get that you don't feel strong anymore. But you're healing Kurt. And we're proud of you for trying."

"I know..thank you. But as much as you guys think I'm improving, I'm here feeling like nothing's changed. You guys don't understand-"

"Do _you_ understand how it felt when you finally confessed that your mom was the reason for all those bruises? And how you made us promise not to say anything?" Wes raised his voice. "And do you know how it felt to watch you get hurt more and more each day? Blaine felt like shit Kurt. Hell, we all did. And then that _day_!" Wes exclaimed, "I thought you were dead. We all thought you were dead."

"I know!" Kurt shouted. "I know already! Why are you telling me this?"

"Because as much as you think we don't understand, we're trying. We get it and we're hurting along with you. We aren't letting you go through this alone." Wes calmed down a bit. Kurt wiped his eyes.

"I'm tired of being an emotional wreck." Kurt said with a humorless chuckle.

"Just so you know we don't mind it at all. Now come here." Wes opened his arms for a hug. Kurt rolled his eyes before hugging Wes.

"You're always treating me like I'm your little brother." Kurt grumbled. He felt Wes laugh.

"Good, because that's how I see you." Wes patted his back before pulling away. "Come on, the guys are probably worried."

* * *

><p>The rest of the day went smoothly for Kurt. His teachers excused him for the time he missed and asked him to do makeup work. Kurt waited in senior commons with the Warblers for Burt to pick him up. The Warblers were mostly goofing off, singing random songs and dancing. Kurt just sat on the couch learning how to work his new phone and pretending being around all this music wasn't affecting him. The headmaster came in unannounced after a while.<br>"Hello boys." He greeted warmly before turning to Kurt. "Mr. Hummel, your father is here to pick you up."

"Okay, I'll be out in a minute." Kurt responded and the headmaster nodded and left the room. Blaine approached him and pulled him into a tight embrace.

"I'll call you later, okay?" Blaine told him. Kurt nodded but continued holding on.

"Okay. I love you, and I'll see you tomorrow." Kurt told him and Blaine gave Kurt a soft lingering kiss on his lips. The boys cooed that them, making them pull away and laugh. Yeah, Kurt was certainly glad to be back.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed this chapter! What did you think of the Wes and Kurt friendship? In the next chapter Blaine and Burt meet officially! Please tell me your thoughts so far! <strong>


	4. Nightmares

**Authors Note: This is actually filler. Sorry! But i hope you enjoy! :)**

**(Warnings for homophobia, violence, and swearing. [It's all in the past])**

* * *

><p>Kurt's first week back at Dalton was pretty great. He was still nervous being around people and catching up on missing work was never fun but his friends were there for him when things got too rough. At home was great too. Burt finally took Kurt to his shop, which he remembered being in when he was younger. Kurt learned how to fix cars pretty quickly and he thought it was kind of fun do to something with Burt that they both enjoyed.<p>

On Thursday was his first meeting with his therapist since he started living with Burt. On Wednesday night he was couldn't sleep because every time he closed his eyes he was plagued with memories of his mother. But he wanted to sleep badly and before he realized it he was humming to himself. It was a familiar melody that was enough to help him drift off to sleep.

**...**

"Mom? You home? The door was open." Kurt got home a little later than usual, hoping that he could escape to his room and call Blaine. They had just gotten together today and Kurt was so happy. His mom also has been less violent lately so that was always a plus.

He got no answer so he just shut the door and quietly headed to his room. His mom didn't seem to be home which was perfectly fine with him. He went to his room and started humming Teenage dream, the song Blaine had song when they first met. Kurt smiled to himself and started to put his stuff away not realizing there was someone in the room.

"Why the hell are you so happy?" Kurt jumped at the sound of his mother's voice and whipped around to see her with a beer in her hand, sitting in his bed.

"Mom? What are you doing here?" Kurt asked breathlessly. She took a swig of the beer and Kurt gulped.

"Don't think I didn't notice you were late." She stood up and started walking around his room. "Now I'll ask you again, why are you so happy?"

"I-uh..nothing. Just had a good day at school.." Kurt evaded her question the best he could but he knew he wouldn't get away with it.

"Oh really is that it?" She asked with sarcasm. She knew he was lying. He was about to stumble out some other excuse but his phone rang. He took it out and looked at the picture that popped up on his screen, it was Blaine.

"Answer it." His mom said with her trademark evil smirk. Kurt took a deep breath and answered the phone.

'Hi Blaine.' Kurt tried his best to keep his composure.

'Hi boyfriend.' Kurt could hear the smile in his voice and Kurt momentarily forgot the fear he was feeling a few moments ago as he smiled too. 'It feels way too good to say that.'

'Really Blaine?' Kurt chuckled.

'Yes Kurt. Come on say it with me.' Blaine pleaded with him and Kurt could imagine him pouting.

'Fine, hi boyfriend.' Kurt said and realized Blaine was right, it did feel great to say it. But then Kurt heard a loud crash and remembered where he was. His mom had broken her beer bottle on his dresser and she was now looking at him hard. Kurt gulped and knew he had to end this conversation soon.

'Hey what was that noise?' Blaine asked and Kurt panicked internally.

'My uh mom broke something in the kitchen. I should help her with that but I'll call you later alright?' Kurt told him.

'Okay! I'll see you in school tomorrow, boyfriend.' Blaine said and Kurt smiled through the tears that were threatening to fall, he knew what was about to happen.

'Bye Blaine.' Kurt hung up after a moment and put his phone down. It was quiet for a while but his mom didn't move from her spot.

"Boyfriend?" His mom asked with a dangerous growl in his voice. Kurt didn't respond so she walked up to him slowly.

"Oh Kurt, you really thought you could hide this from me?" She clicks her tongue and Kurt walks back pressing himself to the wall.

"I-I wasn't trying to h-hide it." Kurt says defensively.

"Mmmhmm." His mother hums. "Lay down on floor and don't move." She orders and Kurt follows immediately. She then proceeds to kick him repeatedly in his sides. It keeps going from about 5 minutes. Kurt is trying his best not to sob and his mom is calling him every name in the book:

_Fag. Whore. Cocksucker. __**DISAPPOINTMENT. **_

When she's done she makes him get up and makes him stay in his room for the rest of the night.

"If you ever think of bringing _him_ around here, I'll beat the shit out of you right in front of him." She threatened before slamming his door shut. Kurt doesn't cry right then. He picks up his phone from where he placed it down. He noticed he had one message. And when he read it he did cry.

_Hey Kurt! I told my parents we were together and they were so happy! They want to meet you soon! Just call me when you can. Okay? Xoxo_

_**...**  
><em>

Kurt awakened with a loud gasp and a loud sob escaped his throat. He tried to cover it but it just got louder and louder. He felt around for his phone and hit his number one speed dial. It rang 5 times before Blaine picked up.

'Kurt? Why are you up so late?' Blaine yawned into the phone and Kurt let out a sob again. 'Kurt? Baby what's wrong?' Blaine was now wide awake. Kurt just kept sobbing. Blaine sighed in frustration. It would be so much easier to get Kurt to calm down if he was with him.

'Sweetheart? I need you to get out of bed okay?' Blaine said as calmly as he could. Kurt obliged but he still couldn't stop crying.

'Okay now, just walk to your dad's room. You don't have to tell him anything but he's going to help you calm down. I don't want you to give yourself a panic attack.' Blaine instructed softly. Kurt did as he said and knocked on Burt's bedroom door.

'Good baby, I'll wait on the line until you've calmed down.' Blaine told him just as Burt opened his door. Burt took one look at Kurt and took him gently in his arms. He walked him slowly took him back to his room. Kurt was just silently crying and sniffling now. Burt got Kurt to lay back in his bed. He then hesitantly brushed Kurt's hair back from his face, like he used to do when he was younger. Burt then quietly sung part of a song he always used to sing to him.

_"You are the sunshine of my life  
>That's why I'll always be around.<br>You are the apple of my eye  
>Forever you'll stay in my heart<br>I feel like this is the beginning  
>Though I've loved you for a million years<br>And if I thought our love was ending  
>I'll find myself drowning in my own tears" <em>

Burt watched as Kurt's eyes fluttered shut and his breathing evened out. He sighed in relief and then began to tuck Kurt in. He noticed Kurt was clutching his phone so he took it out of his hands. He looked at it and realized that Kurt was in the middle of a call.

'Hello?'

'Mr. Hummel? Uh, hi. It's Blaine. He called me crying and I asked him to go to you. Thanks for helping him.' Blaine said graciously.

'No problem kid. It's no problem at all.' Burt said truthfully. 'So you know what he was so upset about?'

'He gets really bad nightmares.' Blaine told him. 'Some nights he wont sleep because of them.'

'Damn, is there anyone to help him?' Burt asked, while looking at his son sleep soundly.

'Singing something helps. Or just holding him until he cries himself to sleep. You're doing all the right things.' Blaine assured him.

'Thanks kid.' Burt told him. 'I'm really glad he had you before..' Burt left the sentence lingering in the air.

'I know.' Blaine swallowed thickly. 'I know me too.'

'Well it's late so I'll let you get back to sleep. I'll see you Friday Blaine.'

'Okay, Goodnight Mr. Hummel.'

'Goodnight.' Burt said and hung up. He ended the call and placed the phone on Kurt's night stand. He bent down and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"I'll get you through this kiddo. I promise you."

* * *

><p><strong>Aren't you glad Burt and Blaine are on good terms? The NEXT chapter will have Kurt's appointment and Blaine and Burt meeting again. Please review! :) Thanks readers! <strong>


	5. One step forward, two steps back

**A/N: I can't sleep (curse my insomnia) so I decided to post the next chapter! Longest chapter so far! Hope you enjoy it! (Btw thanks for all the nice reviews! I really appreciate it.)**

**Warning for panic attack. **

* * *

><p>"Nervous?" Kurt jumped at the sound of Burt's voice. They were in the car driving to his therapist's office and Kurt was just lost in his head. He didn't even know why he was nervous.<p>

"A little." He admitted. "I don't want you to think I'm crazy."

"You aren't crazy kiddo. Nothing that's happen to you could make me think otherwise." Burt said firmly. Kurt looked out the window.

"We'll see." He said quietly thinking Burt couldn't here but he did. Burt sighed. The kid really thought something would make him hate him. But that would never happen.

* * *

><p>"Hello again Kurt. And you must be Mr. Hummel. It's very nice to meet you." Dr. Monroe said warmly as Burt and Kurt walked into her office. She extended her hand to shake Burt's.<p>

"Nice to meet you too. Call me Burt." Burt said shaking her hand.

"Okay Burt. I'm doctor Monroe but please call me Julia." She smiled. "Now I have a suggestion for how this meeting will work. I want to talk to you both separately before talking to you together. How does that work for you both?" Kurt and Burt shared a look and nodded.

"Okay good. So, I'd like to speak to Kurt first Burt. You can wait just outside of the room." Burt nodded and got up to leave. "How are you Kurt?" This was how all their meetings started.

"I'm..better. Better than I've been in a long time." Kurt responded honestly.

"Is this because of Burt?" She questioned.

"Yeah, I think so. He's been wonderful to me...Its just.." Julia didn't interrupt she just waited for him to find the words. "It's almost too good to be true. I keep thinking that one day he'll get tired of living with such a disappointment." Kurt struggled to get the words out but sighed in relief when he did.

"Why do you think you're a disappointment?" Julia asked him. She was actively writing down notes as well.

"Because, his only son comes back after like 7 years and has all these issues. He has to completely change his life for me. It's not fair to him. My mom didn't want to deal with me, why would he want to deal with someone like me?" Kurt said looking down, picking at a loose string on his sweater. Julia always had to restrain from tearing up when Kurt talked about himself like this. He was just a kid and had already been through so much in his life.

"Have you expressed your concerns with Burt?"

"No...I don't know where to start. I haven't even told him much of anything about what happened with.._her.._but he hasn't pushed about it either." Kurt told her.

"Would you like to tell him a few stories about what happened today?" Julia pressed.

"No. I don't want to talk about it right now. But I think I can work up to it." Kurt promised.

"That's showing progress Kurt." Julia smiled at him, Kurt smiled a little at her. "Now why don't you ask Burt in here to talk to me for a bit and then I'll talk to you both." Kurt nodded and left the room. A few moments later Burt entered the room.

"Okay Burt. I just have a few questions for you." Julia said when he sat down.

"Ask away."

"Why did you and Elizabeth get a divorce?" Julia asked and Burt was taken aback for a second. He wasn't expecting to have to go that deep so soon.

"Things uh..thing weren't really working out with us." Burt started out gruffly. "We were fighting a lot and she wasn't very good with Kurt. When Kurt wanted a 'sensible pair of heels' for his birthday I thought it was funny. She scolded him until he cried." Burt recalled. "It was a lot of little things at first but things got worse as Kurt got older. She was out late a lot and she confessed one day that she knew she wasn't fit to take care of Kurt. I asked her to try but I noticed she was right. When Kurt came home one day and was crying about being called a fag in school, she told him that he would never like boys anyways and to just tell them the same back. I had to sit Kurt down later on to tell him what the word meant and that they shouldn't have said it and that liking boys was okay. So soon we mutually decided a divorce was the best way to go and that I should have custody of Kurt. But she left with him anyways and I tried looking for them but I could never find them." Burt confessed. It's been a while since he had to tell this story.

"And now after 7 years you have him back." Julia mused. "How does that feel?"

"I've gotta admit I was nervous as hell at first. I mean, I had no idea how to raise a teenager. My life was going to change drastically." Burt took off hat and scratched his head. "But then I met the kid and I knew this was what I wanted to do. I want to be in his life, to help him heal, and just be his dad like I was supposed to be." Burt said with a rare soft smile.

"I'm glad you want to. Kurt needs you and I think you need him. Blaine and his family were wonderful to Kurt but I'm glad he also his own family with you." Julia commented. "Why don't you call Kurt in here and we'll wrap this meeting up." Burt called Kurt in and Kurt took a seat next to Burt once again.

"Okay I just want to ask you both one question. Do you think you're happier now that you're reunited?" She asked. Burt and Kurt shared a look and gave each other a small smile.

"I'm happy now." Kurt said. He wasn't happy before and he certainly was sure with Burt he's smiled more in his entire life.

"Yeah," Burt said."I wouldn't have it any other way." Kurt's face lit up with that answer and he seemed relieved. Kurt was thrilled to here this. Maybe everything would be okay after all.

* * *

><p>Burt and Kurt drove home much happier than they were when they drove up there. The meeting left them both feeling significantly lighter, as if a huge weight had been lifted off their shoulders. When they got home they ordered some dinner and sat and ate together. After they ate they cleaned up and got ready for Burt. Like Kurt usually did he called Blaine.<p>

"Hey Kurt. How was your appointment?" Blaine asked.

"It was pretty good. You were right, I had no reason to be nervous." Kurt smiled.

"That's amazing baby." Blaine beamed.

"Things have been so amazing already and it's only been a week."

"It can only go up from here." Blaine told him and Kurt was starting to believe it.

"Are you ready for tomorrow?" Kurt teased. He noticed Blaine was sort of nervous today because tomorrow he would have dinner with Burt and Kurt.

"I am. I'm not too nervous." Blaine told him. They already talked about that night when Kurt had the nightmare. Kurt was glad Blaine and Burt were on better terms, even if it meant Burt knew about his nightmares now.

"Burt likes you already so it wont be a problem." Kurt promised him. "Your dad gave me the 'if you hurt my son, I'll destroy you' speech and now it's your turn." Kurt giggled and Blaine smiled.

"Yeah, I'm still sorry about that. You were terrified for a long time because of that." Blaine murmured, remembering how pale Kurt would turn whenever his dad entered the room.

"Not your fault. I thought everyone was out to hurt me back then." Kurt shrugged even though Blaine couldn't see it.

"And now my parents love you." Blaine grinned. And he was right they adored Kurt and he adored them right back.

"And Burt will love you too." Kurt said with determination.

"I hope so."

* * *

><p>"Why is he so...unkempt today?" Wes, David, Nick, and Jeff were watching Blaine walk back and forth in his dorm room. His hair was ungelled and he was looking as if he didn't know what to do.<p>

"He's meeting Kurt's dad again today. He wants it to be perfection." Wes informed them.

"He was fine earlier." Nick commented.

"Yeah but we know Blaine. He likes to blow things out of proportion." David sighed.

"Should we call Kurt?" Jeff wondered as he watched Blaine put on his bow tie on a little too tight.

"No. Let's handle this ourselves." Wes decided. They followed Wes in the room quietly. "Blaine, there is no need to be nervous." Blaine whips around and looks at his friends.

"I'm not nervous." Blaine huffs.

"If anyone should be nervous it's Burt. You know Kurt better than anyone, and he's just getting to know Kurt." Jeff says.

"He's still a dad. All dads are like that." Blaine mumbles.

"Listen Blaine it's going to be fine, just be yourself and you'll be bonding in no time." David assured him.

"And you've been with Kurt for almost 3 years. He has to like you." Nick pointed out shrugging.

"No, he just has to tolerate me." Blaine says but he's calmed down a lot.

"Just finish getting dressed, you don't want to be late." Wes told him.

"Oh and call us and tell us how it went." Jeff smiled.

"Okay. Thanks guys." Blaine smiled back at his friends. They were right. What could possibly go wrong?

* * *

><p>Blaine arrived at Kurt's house 15 minutes early. He had a small bouquet of Kurt's favorite flowers, and he had stopped home to pick up some cookies his mom wanted him to give the Hummel's. He didn't know if it was a good idea that he was there so early, so he texted Kurt.<p>

**Hey Kurt. -B**

_Blaine? You better not be texting and driving! -Kurt_

**I'm not. I'm outside your house in my car. -Blaine**

_How long have you been out there? -Kurt_

**Not too long. I just didn't know if it was rude or not to arrive so early. -Blaine**

_Oh Blaine. You are so adorable. -Kurt _

**Can't really tell if you're making fun of me or not :/ -Blaine**

_Just get out your car honey. I'm coming to the door. -Kurt_

**Okey dokey. -Blaine **

Blaine pocketed his phone and grabbed the cookies and flowers. He stepped out his car and headed to the door and made it just as Kurt opened it.

"Well hello there." Kurt smiled. Blaine was glad to see him in a relaxed mood.

"Hello my love. These are for you." He handed him the flowers and the cookies.

"Blaine these are beautiful. And oh my gosh are these your mother's white chocolate chip cookies?" Kurt asked getting happier by the second.

"Of course. Mom made them for you and Burt." Blaine said stepping in to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"Well thank her for me." Kurt replied. "Now let's get you inside." Kurt ushered his boyfriend inside and led him to the kitchen.

"You can sit for now. Dinner is almost ready." Blaine didn't sit, he stayed close to Kurt. Putting his arms around his waist and smiling. Unaware that Burt had just come into the kitchen.

"I'm so happy that you're happy." Blaine sighed into Kurt's neck. Kurt giggled.

"Oh really? I couldn't tell." He said sarcastically. Blaine rolled his eyes and brought a hand up to tickle Kurt. "Blaine if you tickle me, I'll kill you."

"No you wont. You love me too much." Blaine said smugly.

"True. But if you tickle me I'll never finish your favorite dinner." Kurt mock gasped.

"Fettuccine?" Blaine perked up. "Hmm the urge to tickle is all gone."

"Good." Kurt said as he turned off a pot. He turned to hug Blaine tightly. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Me too." Blaine hugged back just as tight and pulled back a little so he could capture Kurt's lips in a short kiss. Burt smiled at them. They were so cute, so mature, so in sync with each other. He backed out of the kitchen for a bit to give then just a bit more time alone.

* * *

><p>Soon dinner was ready. Kurt and Blaine set the table beautifully and when everything was ready they called Burt in.<p>

"Burt! Dinner's ready." Kurt called.

"Finally!" Burt cheered and Kurt rolled his eyes. Blaine's nerves were suddenly back now that dinner was about to begin.

"Hey." Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand and squeezed it. "Everything is going to be fine. It's ok to be nervous but trust me there's no reason for you to be." Kurt told him quickly kissing his cheek right before Burt appeared.

"Wow. Everything looks great." Burt approved. "You boys did a good job."

"Thanks." Kurt preened under the complement. "Burt, you remember Blaine." He reintroduced them to each other.

"Hello sir." Blaine said politely holding out his hand.

"Hey kid, glad you could make it." Burt shook his hand. "And call me Burt."

"Come on you two lets all sit."

Dinner was inevitably awkward in the beginning but one mention of football had Blaine and Burt rambling about the buckeyes. Kurt rolled his eyes but listened to the conversation anyways, craving some kind of normality in his life. After dinner was done they all moved to the living room to watch some tv. Burt excused himself to get a drink.

"You're getting along with him extremely well." Kurt mused with a small smile.

"Oh I'm sorry, I know you don't really care for football and I just brought it up oh god I'm a horrible boyfriend-" Blaine ranted, horrified with himself. Kurt covered his mouth with his hand.

"Blaine, you're an amazing boyfriend, shut up." Kurt told him. "I enjoyed watching the two most important people in my life go crazy over football." Blaine looked relieved.

"Oh okay good." Blaine sighed. Burt came back in with a bottle in his hand. He took off the top of it and it opened with a pop. He took a swig of it and Kurt's breathing became harsher. He didn't know Burt drank. 'Oh god he was going to hurt him.' Kurt thought.

"Kurt? Honey breathe." Blaine was grabbing his face, not exactly knowing what was causing Kurt to react like this.

"What's wrong with him?" Burt asked concerned. He stood up and moved in closer. Kurt saw this and couldn't breathe properly.

"He's having a panic attack." Blaine said placing Kurt's hands on his chest. He looked at Burt and saw what was in his hands. "Shit, Burt no offense but you need to leave." Burt was shocked at this.

"Why? He's my son." He asked angrily while Blaine was telling Kurt to take deep even breaths. It wasn't working because Burt kept getting closer.

"You have beer! _She_ used to get drunk all the time and then beat the shit out of him. _**You need to leave**_." Blaine grit out. Burt's eyes widened and he hesitantly left the room. He listened in from the kitchen to Blaine talking to Kurt.

"Kurt. Hold your breath and and let it out with me. Come on...inhale...exhale...good baby. It's okay no one is going to hurt you here. Lets do it again okay? In...and out...good. Now one more time. Breathe in...and breathe out. See? You're okay." Blaine said softly and pulled Kurt into his arms.

"I'm sorry." Kurt said weakly.

"It's okay baby. I understand." Blaine kissed his forehead.

"Blaine. I'm tired, can I sleep?" Kurt yawned and his eyes drooped. Blaine smiled at him sadly.

"Of course. Let's just get you comfortable on the couch and later I'll carry you to your room." Blaine said laying Kurt on the couch. He grabbed the cover the was conveniently on the arm of the couch and covered him. Kurt was already sleeping peacefully by the time he was done. Blaine sighed and walked to the kitchen where he knew Burt was.

"He's asleep on the couch right now." Blaine told him. Burt was at the table staring at nothing, he looked at Blaine when he came in.

"Is he supposed to do that after..?" Burt asks softly.

"It happens a lot after he has a panic attack. It's perfectly fine." Blaine said tentatively taking a seat.

"Does this sort of thing happen a lot?" Blaine nods.

"When he lived with my family after everything happened yeah. Even before that it happened too. We've learned how to deal with it." Blaine informs him and Burt nods slowly.

"I..i didn't know. I would have never had that around him if I knew." Burt speaks softly and sadly. Blaine's heart breaks for him. "If I..if I knew she was like that...i would have searched for him harder. I wouldn't have stopped."

"It's not your fault." Blaine tells him. "It's her fault. But it doesn't matter anymore, you have him now. All you have to do is make up for lost time and help him believe that no one is going to hurt him like she did." Burt nods at his words.

"You're a good kid, you know." Burt tells him truthfully.

"Thank you Burt. You've been an amazing father for him." Blaine returns the sentiment.

"Not really. I've been decent but I still have a lot to learn." Burt admits.

"Well Kurt thinks you're wonderful. And Kurt has good judgment of people." Blaine smiles and Burt manages to smile as well.

"He does." Burt agrees. "Listen kid, why don't you stay for the weekend. I think Kurt would feel better with you around and I'd surely appreciate it."

"Sure. I'll carry Kurt to his room and I can sleep on the couch, does it pull out?" Blaine asks getting up. Burt was shocked but pleased that Blaine didn't even think once about being in the same room as Kurt.

"Yeah it does. Kurt's room is down the hallway to the right." Burt told him and Blaine nodded and went back to the living room to bring Kurt to his bed. Kurt wasn't too much work to carry. After his panic attacks he could sleep for hours. He took him to bed and tucked him in. He gave him a sweet kiss on the forehead and left the room.

Blaine went back to the living room to set up the couch. He briefly looked in the kitchen and caught a glance at Burt taking all his beer out of the refrigerator and putting it away in a bag. Blaine smiled at that and went back to getting settled on the couch. Soon Burt came out of the kitchen.

"Hope the couch is comfy enough for you." Burt said.

"It's just fine. Thanks for letting me stay." Blaine said. Burt chuckled a bit.

"No problem kid." Burt said patting Blaine on the shoulder. "Besides I have a feeling you'll be around here a lot." Blaine smiled at that. Both Burt and Blaine had the same thing on their minds before they drifted off to sleep: they would both stop at nothing to help Kurt heal.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Sorry no flashbacksnightmares! Trust me there will be A LOT of those in later chapters. Just to let you know there will be a little time skip! Only a month. Please review and let me know what you think! :) Hint for next chapter: Finn and Carole appear!**


	6. Burden

**A/N: Hi guys! Sorry I took so long with the next chapter. I get terrible migraines and it makes it hard to get stuff done. But here you go! (Thanks for all the amazing reviews! And for following and favoriting my story. It really means a lot!) Carole is only briefly in this chapter but i promise both Carole and Finn will be in the next one!**

**Warnings: Self-harm(not too descriptive, don't worry)**

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><p>A month flew by quickly for both Burt and Kurt. It wasn't the easiest month at all. Kurt had really bad days where he wouldn't want to get out of bed or where he wouldn't want to talk. And Burt would feel helpless and he'd call Blaine over to coax Kurt out of his room or to get a word out of him. But at the end of the day it was all worth it for them.<p>

But Burt still had other things to worry about as well. He had to put a hold on his relationship with Carole. And he had promised her after a month that maybe they could pick it up again. He really wanted to, he really liked her. But it's just that Kurt wasn't having the best week when Carole had called.

'So I was thinking we could have dinner tonight.' She said. Burt sighed and watched from the kitchen how Kurt was huddled against a wall rocking back and forth after a bad nightmare.

'I don't think tonight is the best time. Kurt hasn't been having the best day.' Burt told her. He felt bad because he really wanted to go to dinner with her. But Kurt came first.

'Oh, I'm sorry. Is he alright?' Carole asked concerned.

'He'll be okay. He had a bad nightmare.' Burt explained.

'Why don't you uh call his boyfriend? Maybe his family could take care of him for tonight.' She suggested.

'It's my responsibility to take care of him Carole. I can't just hand him over because I don't know what to do. I need to learn how to help him.' He told her.

'I understand.' She said, but he knew she was disappointed. 'How about you, me, Finn, and Kurt have dinner on Friday?' She offered.

'I- Kurt and people...I just don't know.' Burt sighed.

'Just think about it okay Burt?' She told him.

'I will.' He promised.

After a quick goodbye they hung up. Kurt was now just staring at the floor. Burt approached him slowly as to not scare him. He sat next to him against the wall.

"You okay kid?" Burt asked. Kurt shrugged.

"You want me to call Blaine?" Kurt shook his head. They both sat their in silence for about 5 minutes before Kurt took a deep breath.

"I had a nightmare about being bullied...not about _her._" Kurt said quietly. Burt was surprised at his honesty. He always forgot Kurt got bullied at his previous school.

"Wanna tell me about it?" Burt wasn't really expecting Kurt to answer, so he was surprised when he did.

"It was just about me being trapped in a locker." Kurt swallowed thickly before continuing. "Some jocks locked me in a locker and I couldn't breathe. And instead of someone opening the door, like they did in reality, I was stuck in there." Burt paled. What kind a sick person does that to someone?

"Who opened the door in reality?"

"Blaine. He was visiting the school with Jeff because he had a sister there. They broke the lock and helped me out." Kurt recalled. Burt inhaled sharply. It was a coincident that Blaine was at the school at the time Kurt was trapped inside the locker.

"Was it love at first sight?" Burt joked. Kurt huffed out a laugh.

"No, it took me a while to trust him. I mean what kind of person saves your life, cradles you in their arms while you cry, and sings 'Teenage Dream' to you? He was a little too good to be true." Burt laughed at that.

"He is something else, I'll tell you that." Kurt hums in agreement.

"You know you should go to dinner with Carole tonight." Kurt told him, picking at the carpet on the floor.

"Kurt-"

"You shouldn't have to change the good things in your life to accommodate me. It's not fair to you." Kurt told him quietly.

"Kurt, you're a good thing in my life. I will see Carole soon but you need to come first." Burt said firmly.

"But I want you to be happy." Kurt grumbled and Burt smiled at that. He rested a hand on Kurt's shoulder. Kurt flinched but made no move to away from his hand.

"I am happy Kurt." Burt told him but Kurt found it hard to believe Burt could be so happy with just him.

"I'll meet Carole and her son Friday." Kurt told him. Burt's eyes widened.

"Kiddo I really don't think you're ready for that just yet." Burt said sadly. Kurt mentally agreed but he wanted Burt to be happy. He didn't deserve to have to deal with his son's problems all the time.

"I am ready." Kurt disagreed.

"Kurt, seriously, I can wait to see her." Burt shook his head.

"Please. Just one night. You deserve it." Kurt begged and Burt sighed and relented. Kurt had those days where it seemed where he would make a lot of progress but then something would happen that would make him close off for days. He really hoped he wouldn't regret inviting Carole and Finn over on Friday.

* * *

><p>That night Kurt went to his room and got ready for bed. He tried not to think about what was going to happen Friday. He was already getting worked up and it was only Wednesday. He couldn't meet these people. He knew nothing about them. What if saw how weak he was? How messed up he was? They would hate him and then Burt would hate him too. He picked up his phone with shaking hands and dialed Blaine's number. He needed to stop being such a burden to everyone in his life. Maybe he shouldn't call Blaine. He quickly ended the call and switched off his phone for the night. He suddenly remembered how he once tried to stop being a burden.<p>

...

The door slammed shut five minutes ago and Kurt still couldn't stop sobbing. His mother had gotten angry at him after another failed date with a guy. She was trying to date but they would meet Kurt and get scared off. Kurt didn't like any of them anyways.

But she apparently did. She came home after her date angry and Kurt knew he was in for a bad beating that night. He had sadly run out of healing cream for his bruises, since last night she punished him for having to come up to Dalton because he wasn't feeling well. Everything he did was wrong to her, even if he couldn't control it himself.

She had choked him against the wall for a minute until he was almost blue in the face. He seriously believed he was going to die. He couldn't breathe then and it was still hard to breathe now. He managed to control his sobs long enough to crawl to his bed and grab a small box from under his bed. He had been hiding this under his bed for a while. He never used it but now he couldn't think of a better solution. He opened the box and gently pulled out a razor blade. Tears were blurring his vision as he placed it at his wrist. He did two long cuts across his wrist before his door slammed open. He was startled and the blade fell out of his hands. She looked at him with fury in her eyes and stalked up to him. She lent down to pick up the bloody blade. She smiled but her eyes looked deadly.

"Are you trying to leave me Kurt? You want to die honey?" She asked softly. Kurt shook his head.

"N-no i-i-i-"

"So why do you have this? Are you getting tired of me?" She asked getting closer and closer to him.

"I-I no! I-I'm sorry!" Kurt cried.

"Is this a cry for help?" She asked sternly. "You want attention?"

"No-" He said, and then everything went black.

Kurt didn't remember much after he said that. All that he remembered was waking up the next day with word 'burden' carved into his side.

...

Kurt gently caressed his side, where the word used to be. It was just a scar now but mentally he felt as if he had just gotten it. No matter how much everyone told him he wasn't a burden, he couldn't believe that. He was a burden to his mother for 7 years. But the question always burned in his head: Why did she take him if she didn't want him?

Kurt sighed and turned off his lights and got into bed. He had a bad feeling about Friday, but if this was the only way he could stop being such a burden to Burt, then so be it.

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><p><strong>Short chapter, but I hope you enjoyed it! Next chapter will be dinner with Carole and Finn. How do you think that will go? <strong>

**Please review! It really means a lot! :)**


	7. Am I ready for this?

**A/N: Here's the next chapter! This is actually my favorite chapter so far. So I really hope you enjoy! (Also thanks for the wonderful reviews!)**

**Warning: Past child abuse**

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><p>Before Kurt knew it, it was Friday. On the outside, he managed to act like he was okay. Internally, however was a different story. What the hell was he thinking? He didn't know these people. Strangers made him nervous. They would probably ask him all of these questions, like where did all his bruises come from. Or why he didn't talk much. Or something that will make him uncomfortable and want to cry. He was tried of crying. He cried everyday it seemed.<p>

But Kurt was determined to get through this day for Burt. Even if it meant a huge set back for him. He knew it was dangerous to push himself so far already, but it was too late to back out.

"What is going on in that head of yours?" Kurt jumped violently at the sound of the voice. He looked up with wide eyes at his boyfriend. He had forgotten he was in the cafeteria with his friends.

"Blaine, you scared me!" Blaine smiled at him and kissed his cheek.

"Sorry. You looked really concerned about something. Want to talk about it?" Blaine asked. Kurt sighed but knew he shouldn't hide it from him any longer.

"Tonight Burt's girlfriend and his son are coming over for dinner." Kurt mumbled. Blaine frowned.

"What? Why would Burt invite them over? He knows you don't handle strangers so well."

"I told him to invite them." Kurt said honestly. Blaine looked at him in shock.

"Why? Kurt remember at the last session I went to you with your therapist said not too push yourself too hard." Blaine pointed out. Kurt sighed.

"I know Blaine. But I hate that because of me Burt had to stop seeing his girlfriend. If I wasn't in the picture-" Kurt started but Blaine cut him off.

"If you weren't in the picture he wouldn't be happy." Blaine said firmly. "Baby, you give so much. You've lost so much. And I know how hard it is for you to believe that we don't mind thanking care of you but one day you will believe us. You don't need to push yourself like this to make him happy." Blaine took Kurt's hand and squeezed it.

"It's too late anyways Blaine. I'm going to go through with it. Maybe it wont be so bad." Later Kurt would realize he couldn't have been more wrong.

* * *

><p>Kurt used to have such good memories of Friday night dinner. It would be just him, his dad and his mom. No matter what they would always eat together. It was their little tradition. When he and his mom were on their own she didn't continue that tradition. In fact, most Friday's she wouldn't even come home. She would be out drinking or be working So Kurt would have to make and have dinner all by himself.<p>

When he was with Blaine's family, it was great. But Friday nights there never felt like they did when he was younger. Now, being back with Burt, he's had some amazing Friday night dinners. Maybe all this time, it was just him that was missing. Kurt wondered that if he could just pretend that these people were his family, maybe everything will be fine.

* * *

><p>Blaine drove him home after school. He usually stayed over on the weekends but he was going to leave before Finn and Carole came over.<p>

"Can't you just stay?" Kurt asked quietly while he began to prepare dinner. Blaine was setting the table for him.

"You know I can't Kurt." Blaine smiled sadly. "This is just between you, Burt, Carole, and Finn."

"I know." Kurt sighed. Blaine finished the table and went to Kurt and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"Just relax. Don't answer any questions you aren't comfortable with. Don't speak if you don't want to. If you feel a panic attack coming on, go to your happy place. This is a big step for you. It's going to be tough." Blaine told him gently.

"Why am I so stupid? Who gets this wound up over a dinner? Why can't I just be normal?" Kurt said sounding frustrated.

"Hey stop that." Blaine said moving to be in front of Kurt. "You aren't stupid and you are normal. Everyone has their demons Kurt."

"But the only thing is that I don't have a demon anymore! She's dead!" Kurt screamed. "I should be over this. I should be better but I'm not." Kurt's eyes were welling up with tears.

"Listen, I know this isn't what you want to hear. But it takes time. I wish I could speed up the process for you but that's not how things work. You just have to be patient with yourself." Blaine said calmly. Kurt nodded and took Blaine's hand and squeezed it.

"I'm sorry for yelling." Kurt mumbled.

"It's okay. I know you aren't mad at me." Blaine smiled and gave him a quick peck. "When you're mad at me you just give me to silent treatment."

"That's because you like it too much when I yell at you." Kurt smirked at him. Blaine wiggled his eyebrows.

"It's kind of hot." Blaine admitted. Kurt smacked his arm lightly.

"Shut up." Kurt giggled and Blaine pulled him in for a deep kiss. Kurt momentarily forgot about cooking dinner and wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck. Neither of them heard the front door open.

"Is this gonna happen every time I come home from the garage?" Came the amused voice of Burt. The boys jumped apart. They both blushed furiously.

"Hey Burt." They both greeted. Burt chuckled at their embarrassment.

"Hey boys. What's for dinner?"

"Mac n' Cheese, barbecue chicken, and fresh collard greens." Kurt listed.

"Sounds delicious." Burt commented genuinely and Kurt smiled.

"Well, I think I'm gonna head out. I'll be over tomorrow." Blaine said giving Kurt a quick kiss on the cheek and waving bye to Burt.

"I'll see you out Blaine." Burt said placing a hand on his shoulder and leading him out of the kitchen. Kurt watched them suspiciously but decided to just continue cooking.

* * *

><p>"Do you think he's ready for this?" Burt whispered to Blaine when they got outside. Blaine just looked at him sadly.<p>

"Just please call me if anything bad happens. I don't live too far away." Blaine said and Burt pat his shoulder.

"Okay. See you later kid." Burt said.

"Take care of him Burt!" Blaine told him, while he got into his car. Burt waited until Blaine's car was out of sight before he went back inside. He walked back to the kitchen where Kurt was still preparing dinner.

"I'm gonna go get ready kiddo. They wont be here for about an hour."

"Okay." And with that Kurt was left alone to his thoughts.

* * *

><p>Dinner was just about to be ready when the doorbell rang. Kurt's nerves were through the roof. But he had to conceal his fears and try for Burt. Kurt listened as Burt headed for the door and opened it.<p>

"Hey Carole. Hey Finn." Burt said.

"Oh Burt it's so great to see you." The woman, Carole said.

"It's great to see you too." Burt told her. "Now why don't you both come in. We can sit in the living room until dinner is ready." Kurt listened to the movement of them all walking to the living room. His hands were shaking noticeably nut Kurt ignored it. Soon Kurt heard footsteps entering the kitchen.

"You ready to meet them kiddo? I'll understand if you just want to hide out in your room until they leave." Kurt smiled at Burt being so considerate but he wasn't going to back out now.

"You c-can send them in. D-dinner is ready." Kurt stammered. Burt placed a hand on his shoulder.

"No need to be nervous. Carole and Finn are good people. Just relax. " Burt said gently. Kurt nodded but he was far from being able to relax. Burt left the kitchen to get Carole and Finn. Kurt was serving the food quietly when they came in.

"Hello Kurt. I'm Carole and this is my son Finn." She introduced.

"Hey dude." Finn nodded in his direction. Kurt tried smiling but he knew it probably looked forced.

"H-Hello. Nice to meet y-you." Kurt stumbled over his words.

"Do you have a stutter man? This girl in my school, Tina, had a stutter. Well...we thought she had a stutter but she just faked it. She actually speaks perfectly fine now." Finn rambled. Kurt was too nervous to respond but for some reason he was mildly amused.

"He doesn't have a stutter Finn. He's just a little nervous." Burt covered for him. "Why don't we just take a seat and eat." Burt says pulling out a chair for Carole. Finn and Kurt take seats across from each other and Burt sits in next to Kurt, across from Carole.

Conversation was plentiful during dinner. Everyone talked, except for Kurt. He kept his head down and ate silently, but he was actively listening to the conversations. Carole would sometimes ask him questions that would have a yes or no answer so he could just nod or shake his head. He was grateful for that, he really wasn't up for talking. He froze in the middle of a bite of food when Finn directed a question at him.

"Dude. How did you get that scar under your chin?" Finn questioned. Kurt had forgotten about that scar. Ever since most of the bruises on his face faded away he had felt better. There was no physical representation of how weak he was anymore. Of course he had scars all over his body but they were hidden by his clothes. He didn't have to worry about anyone seeing those.

The scar under his chin was pretty long. I spread down to his neck and stopped at his collar bone. It was usually hidden by a scarf. Kurt didn't want to think about it. He couldn't think about it.

"Honey? Are you okay?" Kurt's eyes snapped to Carole's. He didn't realize he was shaking violently. He was more focused on her soft motherly voice, and that sentence brought memories he didn't want to revisit back to him.

...

His mother had just recently gotten fired from her job. She didn't have much money to buy enough food for them both. Things had been strained between her and Kurt before this. Everyday he couldn't help but ask 'Why had she taken him away from dad?' or 'Why don't they just go back home.' He would always just get sent to his room or get yelled at until he was in tears. Today was much worse than any of those times.

"Mom? What's for breakfast?" A 10 year old Kurt asked.

"Peanut butter on toast." She answered not looking up from her phone. She was searching for another job.

"But mom, I'm allergic to nuts." Kurt reminded her.

"We have nothing else. Would you just quit your whining already?" She yelled, slamming her phone down on the table.

"I'm s-sorry m-m-mommy." Kurt's lower lip trembled and she rolled her eyes.

"Would you stop crying already!" She groaned. Kurt wiped his eyes rapidly but couldn't contain his sobs.

"I'm s-so-sorry m-mommy! I-I'm just hu-hungry!" Kurt cried louder and Elizabeth had enough. She smacked him hard against his face and he stumbled backwards and fell to the floor. She looked at him and her hand with wide eyes.

"Oh my gosh. Kurt? Honey, are you okay?" She kneels next to him and softly touches his cheek.

"That hurt mommy." Kurt whimpered. She hugged him close.

"I'm so sorry honey...I-I don't know what happened. I promise it wont happen again." She said kissing his forehead softly.

The following week she would punch him so hard his nose began bleeding and use the same excuse.

A few days later he would walk to school sporting a black eye, that he didn't remember getting.

Three weeks after that he would be in the hospital with a broken arm because he 'fell' down the stairs. That would be the last time she would ask him 'Honey, are you okay?'

...

"Kurt? Come back to me kiddo." Burt said frantically, kneeling in front of Kurt. Kurt was having a panic attack, He didn't know if he should touch him or not. He didn't want to freak him out.

"Burt? Is there any way we can help?" Carole asked concerned.

"Uh get my cell phone and call his boyfriend. His name is Blaine Anderson." Burt said quickly. Carole disappeared into the living room to look for his phone.

"Boyfriend? He's...gay?" Finn asked kind of awkwardly. He never met a gay person before. He knew his girlfriend, Rachel, had two dads but he has yet to meet them.

"Yes Finn." Burt said but he sensed Finn's hesitation. He made a mental note to talk to Finn about it some time soon.

"Oh..." Finn said lamely. Carole came back into the kitchen, talking on Burt's cell phone.

"Okay. Thank you so much Blaine. Goodbye." She said before hanging up. "Blaine said he'll be here in 30 minutes." She told Burt. Burt nodded and took a deep breath before taking Kurt's shaking hands in his.

"Kurt? I need you to breathe for me bud." Burt said as calmly as he could. Kurt's eyes seemed unfocused as tried to breathe properly but failed.

"Come on kiddo. You can do it." Burt urged him and Kurt's eyes shifted to him. "Breathe in slowly Kurt and then I need you to breathe out for me." He watched as Kurt tried to do so. "Good keep doing that." Slowly but surely Kurt was breathing properly again. "Hey welcome back buddy." Burt said with a smile. Kurt didn't respond he just looked down.

"Hi Kurt? How are you feeling?" Carole asked softly and Kurt flinched at the sound of her voice.

"Okay what the hell is going on? It's like you guys are talking to a little kid?" Finn asked sounding genuinely confused. Kurt violently flinched again and began shaking.

"Finn!" Carole glared at her son, silently telling him that now wasn't the time.

"Kurt? Blaine will be here soon. Do you want to wait in your room for him?" Burt asked softly and Kurt nodded slightly. "Go ahead. I'll bring you some water in a few minutes." Kurt quietly scurried out of the kitchen and to his room. Burt wiped his face tiredly and stood up.

"I'm sorry about this. He really wasn't ready for this yet but he insisted on you guys coming over." Burt explained. Carole looked at him sympathetically.

"It's okay Burt. We're sorry for the trouble we caused."

"Trouble? What did we do?" Finn asked still confused.

"Finn." Carole said giving her son a hard look.

"What? I just want to know what's wrong with him? Who reacts like that to a simple question?" Finn grumbled the rest of his sentence when Burt gave him a look.

"Should we go?" Carole asked. Burt sighed but nodded.

"I'm afraid so. I'll call you tomorrow though." Burt said leading them to the front door. Carole gave Burt a kiss on the cheek.

"I'll talk to Finn about some of the things he said tonight." Carole whispered.

"Don't be hard on him. He doesn't understand. Maybe just explain what I told you about Kurt to him?" Burt suggested and she nodded.

"Okay. Goodnight." She said turning away. But she turned back momentarily. "You're really good with Kurt. I hope you know that." She said.

"I'm okay with him." He said gruffly.

"Do you really think he would have pushed himself this far if he didn't appreciate all you did for him?" She asked with a knowing smile. Burt smiled at her adoringly.

"Thank you." He said. She winked at him then went to her car where Finn was waiting. Her car was out of sight as soon as Blaine pulled up. Blaine hopped out of the car and walked up to him.

"In his room." Burt opened the door wider so Blaine could get in. Blaine nodded and hurried to Kurt's room. Burt closed the door and went to the kitchen where he cleared off the table and washed the dishes. He then decided to check on Kurt and Blaine.

"I ruined everything." Burt heard Kurt say brokenly.

"No you didn't." Blaine said softly.

"Yes I did." Kurt mumbled. Burt came to the door and watched his son and Blaine laying side by side. Blaine was running his fingers through Kurt's hair and Kurt's eyes were red and his cheeks were tear stained.

"No you didn't." Burt said. Both boys turned to look at him. "The only thing you had control over was you insisting to meet them. It was so brave of you Kurt. And I'm proud of you for that." Burt said walking into the room with a slight smile on his face. "But don't force yourself to get better kiddo. When it all comes down to it, I'm supposed to be taking care of you." Burt briefly noticed Blaine looking at Burt astonished. Kurt's eyes were watering.

"Thank you Burt." Kurt whispered before yawning.

"Why don't you get some sleep? We'll both be here when you wake up." Burt recommended. Kurt nodded sleepily. Blaine kissed his forehead softly and slid off the bed.

"I love you." He whispered. Kurt closes his eyes and hummed in response.

"I love you too." He said tiredly. Both Burt and Blaine chuckled before leaving the room.

"Thanks for coming over so soon." Burt said once they were in the living room. Blaine smiled.

"No problem." He said. "But you didn't need me here." Burt raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"You didn't need me to come here sir. You handled Kurt fine." Blaine told him.

"I-"

"I understand that you're scared of messing him up even more, but you're really helping him. He's gotten so much better now that he's back here with you. I heard him humming the other day. Kurt hasn't sung for more than a year." Blaine said passionately.

"Really?" Burt asked surprised. Blaine nodded.

"You're the best thing that's happened to him." Blaine told him. Burt felt tears try to form in his eyes but he forced them away.

"Thanks kid." Burt said with a smile. "But I'm pretty sure we're tied for that spot." Blaine grinned.

"Probably." Blaine shrugged. Burt patted his shoulder.

"Come on. Let's see if anything is on T.V."

* * *

><p>Kurt woke up a few hours later to get a cup of water. He tip-toed his way to the kitchen through the living room. He stopped in his tracks and noticed Burt put a cover over Blaine, who had fallen asleep on the couch. Kurt smiled fondly at the sight and decided to go back to his room. He was so glad his two heroes got along. He didn't know where he would be with out them.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Again i hope you enjoyed this chapter! Just to let you know Finn knows absolutely nothing about Kurt's situation but don't worry. They'll get that sorted out soon. Let me know what you thought about this chapter with a review. :)<strong>

**Hint for next chapter: Who's ready to meet the Andersons?**


	8. Progress

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry it took me forever to get this chapter up. My migraines are back plus I rewrote it like three times because i didn't really like it. So here's what i came up with. There are two different flashbacks in this chapter! Also another time jump. I hope you enjoy it! (Longest chapter so far!)**

**No warnings this time.**

* * *

><p>"Finn I want to tell you a few things about Kurt." Carole sat Finn down the day after they met Kurt.<p>

"I'm sorry!" Finn apologized. "I didn't mean to make him cry or anything...He was just kind weird." Finn told her truthfully.

"I know honey. Kurt isn't weird, he's just had a hard life." Carole told her son gently.

"Because he's...You know.." Finn said lamely.

"Gay?" Carole said for him. Finn nodded looking a little uncomfortable. "Not just because of that. He was bullied because he was gay but also his mother..beat him..a lot. And she tried to kill him and she killed herself." Carole said quite bluntly. Finn turned pale.

"She what?" Finn questioned quietly. "Was she...crazy...like what did he do to deserve that?!" He asked.

"Nothing honey." Carole said wiping her eyes a bit. "He did nothing to deserve it."

"I...So that scar?" Finn asked. Carole nodded.

"I assume that was her doing. That's probably why he had the reaction he did." Finn sat there in shock.

"Finn sweetie are you okay?" Carole asked softly, getting up to comfort her son.

"I...I just can't believe anyone would do that." Finn said with disbelief.

"Me neither." Carole agreed sadly.

"Can you tell Burt to tell Kurt I'm sorry?" Finn asked. Carole smiled.

"Sure Finn. I have one more thing to ask you though." Carole said and Finn looked at her expectantly. "I know how you and your friends throw around the word 'gay' like it's a bad thing but I really want you to have an open mind. Being gay isn't a choice and it isn't wrong." Carole said gently.

"I..it's just that I don't understand it. But since you like Burt so much... I'll try to.." Finn promised her.

"That's all I ask Finn." Carole said graciously. "You can go hang out with your friends now." Finn hopped up and kissed his mom on the cheek.

"Later mom!"

* * *

><p>Another month passed and Burt and Kurt grew closer. Kurt no longer flinched around him and his panic attacks were less frequent. It was best to say Kurt left almost completely safe around Burt. During his next therapy session, Kurt shared this information with Julia.<p>

"That's amazing Kurt. It means you're finally comfortable with him." She praised.

"I know. And I think I want to start telling him things..you know..about her." Kurt said hesitantly. Julia smiled and scribbled something down in her notebook.

"All I can say is don't push yourself. But since you didn't listen to me last time I said that," She responded with a mock glare. "I will just say be careful. Reliving all that happened to you can open old wounds for you. Just take it one step at a time, there's no rush." Kurt nodded at her advice.

"I promise to take it easy. I just think it's only fair if I start opening up." Julia smiled again.

"Kurt Hummel. You are making very good progress. Don't force it."

* * *

><p>Kurt told Blaine exactly what he told Julia and he was thrilled.<p>

"Blaine?" Kurt asked sounding pensive.

"Yeah baby?" Blaine looked at Kurt.

"I-I was thinking about telling Burt about...you know.." Kurt stumbled out. Blaine looked surprised.

"Really? How much?"

"Just a little bit at a time. I think I'm ready for that." Kurt said sounding confident. Blaine pulled Kurt closer.

"That's wonderful Kurt." Blaine smiled. Kurt smiled too and leaned over and kissed Blaine.

"Thank you." Kurt whispered.

"When are you going to start telling him?" Blaine asked. Kurt laid his head on his shoulder.

"I don't know. Maybe sometime this week."

* * *

><p>Kurt didn't know that each time he would try to talk to Burt he would chicken out, have a panic attack, or stammer out non sense. That of course led to him thinking well maybe he's not getting better. By the middle of the week he was frustrated with himself. Burt knew Kurt was trying to tell him something. But it looked like he wasn't ready so he didn't push it. When the time was right the truth would come out. Kurt had seemed on edge all week until he came home after work Wednesday.<p>

One day Burt came home from work and, like he expected, Kurt and Blaine were home. Blaine came around a lot so it was nothing new. Burt wouldn't even bat an eyelid if he came home and they were both cuddling on the couch. Blaine would usually come over for a while on the week days and go back to Dalton or if it was too late he would go home. He would also stay over every weekend. Burt was seriously thinking about clearing out the guest room so Blaine would have a more comfortable place to sleep. Today, Blaine had his head in Kurt's lap and was sleeping soundly.

"Hey kiddo." Burt said quietly as to not wake Blaine up.

"Hey Burt." Kurt turned and whispered.

"Whats up with him?" Burt gestured to Blaine.

"He's been having a rough day. 4 years ago he was beaten up at a school dance he went to with a friend. He was in the hospital for a couple of weeks recovering. That was his last year of middle school and then his parents decided to make sure he didn't get bullied again to send him to Dalton for high school. He was originally going to end up where I went but I'm glad he didn't." Kurt said honestly, unconsciously running his hands through his hair, which was surprisingly not gelled. Burt took a deep breath and shook his head. People in this world were so cruel to people who didn't deserve it.

"He's so brave, I hope he knows it." Burt says.

"He doubts himself a lot. Thinks he has to be happy all the time or close to perfect. He was putting up a front all day and I called him out on it. But I understand how it feels not to want everyone to know you're still hurting over something that happened a long time ago. I just want him to know he never has to be like that around me." Kurt spoke softly looking at Blaine with adoration in his eyes. Yeah, Burt thought, they were made for each other.

"You're good to him kiddo." Burt said squeezing his shoulder. "I'll tell you what how about we order some Chinese and Blaine stay over tonight. I'll drive you both back to Dalton in the morning."

"Okay. Thanks Burt." Kurt smiled. Burt smiled back and headed to the kitchen to order the food.

* * *

><p>Later that day Blaine was up and looking better than he had been earlier. Burt was amazed by how strong both Blaine and Kurt are. They've been through so much and they would both stop at nothing to make sure the other was okay. They were young but he knew they were both in it for the long run. They were all eating dinner in front of the TV for a change when Blaine's phone rang.<p>

'Hey mom. Yeah I'm at Kurt's...I'm okay now. Okay. I'll ask them. Yes mom. I love you too. Bye.' Blaine hung up soon after that.

"My parents wanted to know if you both wanted to come over Friday night. They haven't seen Kurt in a while and they want to meet you Burt." Blaine told them after he got off the phone.

"Can we Burt?" Kurt asked, eyes wide with excitement.

"Sure kiddo." Burt smiled.

"Cooper's back home. He'll be happy to see you." Blaine told Kurt.

"I haven't seen him in a while. Is he still working in California?"

"He moved to New York apparently. He just got a new job." Blaine said and both Kurt and Blaine dived into a conversation about his brother while Burt was lost in his head. He felt as if he had competition for Kurt's affections now. Kurt had been on edge again lately just when he thought they were doing good. It was unsettling how much Kurt perked up when Blaine mentioned his family. Burt shook his head. He was probably just making it all up in his head.

* * *

><p>Kurt was excited to say the least. He missed Blaine's family. They were there for him when he needed it most and he would always be grateful.<p>

"Oh Kurt we missed you so much!" Mrs. Anderson cried when she let the Hummel men inside the house. "Look at you. You look amazing."

"Thanks Mrs. Anderson." Kurt said with an embarrassed blush.

"Kurt." She said with a playfully stern voice.

"Thank Andrea." Kurt said with a laugh. "This my dad." He told her.

"Oh it's nice to finally meet you. I'm Andrea." She said warmly as she held out her hand.

"Burt." Burt shook her hand. "It's nice to meet you as well."

"My husband is in the living room, watching the game with our older son Cooper. You're welcome to join them." She said with a smile, leading them to the living room.

"Boys. Guess whose here." She said. They both turned and smiled brightly when they saw Kurt.

"Hey K." Cooper said, getting out of his seat to wrap Kurt in a hug. Burt shouldn't have been so surprised that Kurt didn't flinch, but he still was. "I'm so glad you're okay." he whispered but Burt still heard it.

"It's great to see you Kurt." Blaine's father said. Moving in to give Kurt a hug as well.

"Great to see you too." Kurt said. "This is my dad."

"Burt." Burt aid sticking out his hand.

"Simon." Simon smiled warmly. "Nice to meet you."

"Kurt, Blaine is in the kitchen. Why don't you join him?" Andrea suggested. Kurt lit up and excused himself to the kitchen.

"Take a seat Burt." Simon said gesturing an empty seat. Burt did. "Blaine speaks very fondly of you. And I can tell just by looking at him you've done an amazing job with Kurt." Simon said smiling thankfully at him.

"I try my best. Kurt deserves it." Burt says modestly.

"He does. He's been through so much. We wish we could have helped him sooner." Andrea said sadly.

"When did you...find out about what was going on with Kurt?" Burt asked curiously.

"Well we didn't know for sure until Blaine called us the day he and his friends found him." Simon said quietly. "But we had a tiny hunch before."

...

Blaine came home late, with puffy red eyes, one day. He looked shaken up and scared.

"Blaine? What's wrong sweetie?" Andrea asked.

"N-nothing" He hiccuped.

"Are you and Kurt still arguing?" She asked. He shook his head.

"No..we settled everything..." Blaine said honestly.

"Then what's wrong?" She asked. He looked so devastated but she knew he wasn't going to budge any time soon.

"Nothing mom. I'll be fine I promise." He said with a small smile. She knew that was his fake smile but didn't push him to tell her anything.

"Well okay. If you're sure." She said. Blaine walked towards the stairs and hesitated before turning back towards her.

"What would you do if someone you cared about a lot was in trouble but didn't want you to help them out with it? Would you go against their wishes or would you let them suffer?" He asked tentatively.

"It depends what kind of trouble. Sometimes you have to let them figure out a solution themselves. But sometimes they might be in too deep that they might think they don't need help but they really do." Andrea told him. "Is something going on with one of your friends Blaine?"

"Everything is fine mom." Blaine rolled his eyes but tears slid there way down his face.

"Blaine-"

"Please mom." Blaine looked at her desperately. She could tell he was torn into keeping his friend's secret and telling her the truth. She silenced herself and let him go to him room. She had a bad feeling in her stomach that something was very wrong.

...

"Blaine blamed himself so much for what happened everyday." Cooper shook his head sadly. "He didn't want to break his trust but he wanted to help at the same time."

"All of the boys had to go to a few therapy sessions after that. They were all pretty traumatized." Simon informed Burt.

"Wow.." Burt said speechless. "I..i don't really know much of what happened at all except for the basics so thanks for telling me."

"It's no problem. Anything we can do to help out Kurt in anyway." Andrea said with a smile. The sound of someone clearing their throat made them all look towards the kitchen. Blaine was standing there sheepishly.

"Dinner is ready."

* * *

><p>Dinner was not awkward at all. Everyone was talking and it was like they all knew each other forever. Kurt was glad for all the normality of this dinner. He's been so worried about opening up to Burt lately that he was scared that he was going to have a setback. But he knew that he could trust Burt with anything after all he's done for him. He was the reason Kurt was able to feel content and at ease with himself. And he would forever be thankful for that.<p>

Burt loved the Andersons already. They were a great bunch and they really cared for Kurt. This was probably the happiest Burt had ever seen Kurt since he's been back. And it makes him happy but it also makes him wonder would he rather be here, than with him.

After dinner they all had desert. They all watched as Kurt and Blaine fed each other and whispered and laughed together quietly. They were in a world of their own.

"He's eating a lot better." Cooper mused. That caught Burt's attention.

"He didn't eat before?"

"Not enough." Cooper said. "For a while he couldn't hold anything down and he got way too skinny. But it seems as if you got him through that."

"No, he's pulling through himself. He wants to get better." Burt shakes his head.

"Because you've given him hope. Something none of us could ever give to him." Cooper said with a slight smile, almost like he knew what Burt was worried about.

"I wouldn't say that-"

"No its true." Burt turned and noticed Simon and Andrea had moved closer to him and Cooper. "We love Kurt but we weren't what he needed. You've been a huge part of his recovery so far." Andrea smiled. Burt nodded a little chocked up and embarrassed he had been worried about losing his son again.

"Thanks." He said. "Thanks for taking care of him when I couldn't."

"He's like a son to us. He treats Blaine so well and he's so strong." Simon told him. Burt had to agree.

* * *

><p>They both went home that night happy with how everything turned out. They both headed to bed almost immediately. Little did they know it was going to be a long night.<p>

Burt woke up to the sound of sobbing. He hurried out of bed and to Kurt's room. Kurt was up in his bed crying his eyes out. Burt went up to him and sat on the edge of his bed. He gathered his son in his arms and held him until he stopped sobbing.

"I-I had a nightmare about her." Kurt spoke quietly. Burt was surprised he would usually just fall asleep after crying like this.

"Kurt. You don't have to tell me anything."

"No." Kurt pushed himself up in a sitting position. "I've been trying to tell you something about her all week but I would chicken out. But I want you to know." Kurt looked completely confident that he was ready to tell so Burt fell silent.

"I know they told you the story of that day Blaine came home crying. That was the day I made him swear not to tell anyone what was happening at home."

...

"Kurt, you can fool everyone else all you want, but you can't fool me." Blaine said in a low voice. Kurt had came to Dalton, once again, limping and with a bruise on his cheek. Things like this had happened before and Kurt would always just make up some excuse. Everyone who just accept his excuses but Kurt always missed Blaine looking at him with a concerned expression.

"Wh-what are you talking about?" They were in Blaine's dorm room. Blaine was looking at Kurt but Kurt had his eyes set on the wall.

"I'm not stupid Kurt. I know you. I know you're lying to me." Blaine rose his voice angrily. Kurt took a step back, suddenly scared.

"I-I-I'm not lying t-to you Blaine." Kurt stammered. Blaine walked up to him slowly but stopped when Kurt walked back against the wall defensively. His anger was still there but he looked seriously concerned.

"Kurt?" He took a step forward but stopped when Kurt whimpered.

"P-Please don't hurt me. I'm sorry, Blaine. I wont lie anymore but please don't hurt me." Kurt cried out. Blaine looked like his heart broke into a million pieces.

"Kurt? Baby? What is going on you're scaring me?" Blaine asked, his voice shaking a little. He moved slowly until he was close to Kurt. Kurt was silently crying and Blaine gently took the boy in his arms.

"I would never hurt you baby. Why would you think that?"

"I- my mom." Kurt stammered.

"You're mom what Kurt?" Blaine asked confused. Kurt looked at him with pained eyes and it suddenly clicked in his head. "_Oh Kurt_." Blaine sounded devastated.

"Sh-she has been the one d-doing this to me..for years now." Kurt choked out with tears spilling down his cheeks.

"Kurt _no. _Why didn't you tell me? We need to get you away from her. You can stay with me after we call the police." Kurt looked up sharply at this.

"No Blaine. No police. You aren't going to tell anyone." Kurt said frantically.

"What? Kurt I'm not going to sit around and let you be hurt by someone who is supposed to love you." Blaine looked at Kurt outraged, with tears of his own in his eyes.

"If you love me you will let me deal with this on my own. I've handled it for so long already." Kurt stood his ground.

"Kurt, please don't make me do this. I don't want to see you like this." Blaine's voice broke mid sentence.

"Blaine please. Just..trust me okay. She wont hurt me too bad if I stay out of her way and don't bother her. I'll be okay." Kurt said quietly, wiping the tears from Blaine's eyes. "Please promise me you wont tell."

"Promise me I wont regret this." Blaine countered. Kurt gulped but nodded.

"You wont. I promise." But they both knew neither was so sure about that.

...

"I felt so horrible for putting him through that." Kurt wiped a tear from his eye. "I still do."

"Why didn't you want to tell Kurt?" Burt asked with tears of his own filling his eyes.

"Because I thought you were dead." Kurt said bluntly. "She told me that and I believed her. I knew I could be taken away from her and lose all the friends I made and Blaine in the process. I didn't want to be with some new family who didn't care about me." Burt nodded in understanding but he still wished Kurt would have told.

"Why did she..hurt you that day?" Burt asked. Kurt shrugged.

"Just because she felt like it. She had a bad day at work so she liked to take it out on me." Kurt told him and Burt closed his eyes tightly.

"Can I asked about the scar under your chin?" Burt asked after a minute. Kurt looked away and took a deep breath.

"Beer bottle. I don't think I'm ready to tell you the whole story yet." Kurt whispered. Burt nodded.

"You've told me a lot already. I'm so proud of you." Burt told him and Kurt eyes watered and he hugged him.

"Thank you. I'm so glad I have you now."

"Me too." Burt saw that Kurt was getting tired so he tucked him and turned out the lights.

"Goodnight kiddo." Burt said but Kurt already had his eyes closed. Burt was about to close the door when he heard a quiet and sleepy. "Goodnight Dad." Burt frozen in his spot and he looked at Kurt who was now lighting snoring. That was the first time in 7 years that Burt had heard Kurt call him dad. When he got to his room and let his tears fall but only this time they were of happiness.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you guys liked this chapter. I added the part with Finn and Carole to show how Finn reacted to what happened to Kurt. Carole and Finn will be round a lot more soon. And we'll hear more bits and pieces about what happened to Kurt as well. Let me know what you thought about this chapter with a review :)<strong>

**Hint for next chapter: Trouble in paradise?**


	9. Mistakes

**A/N: Hey guys. Here's the next chapter! I want to thank you guys for the reviews, they always make my day when i read them. Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Warnings: Child Abuse**

* * *

><p>Ever since that little moment that Kurt called Burt dad, things have been looking up. Panic attacks have been almost non existent. If there were nightmares, Kurt would sometimes tell Burt what they were about but a lot of the time they were the same. It seemed as if they were both on cloud nine lately. But of course life has it's way of bringing people down when everything seems to be good. Honestly, Burt should have seen it coming.<p>

* * *

><p>Burt had a long week at work. He had a bunch of clients, 2 particularly rude ones that had really ticked him off. He had just wanted to get home, enjoy dinner with his son, call Carole, watch some TV, then go to bed. By the time he was off work he was irritated. He had a terrible headache and he just wanted to go to bed and sleep off the day. He would later wish he checked his attitude before he stepped foot at home and reminded himself it wasn't Kurt he was angry with.<p>

Burt came in the house with frustration and anger written on his face. As soon as he opened the door loud music pounded against his eardrums. He swore quietly as he stepped in and rubbed his temples. He had forgotten how loud teenagers could be.

"Kurt turn it down!" He yelled but it seemed Kurt couldn't hear him. He sighed angrily, took off his coat and hung it up. He walked into the living and the music just got louder. He looked around and noticed Kurt's magazines littering the table but couldn't seem to notice how neat and tidy everything else was in the room.

"Kurt!" He shouted again. But still no response. He walked into the kitchen and it was a mess. Flour was everywhere and his son was dancing around to the loud music and having what looked like the time of his life. But Burt couldn't see that. All he saw was unnecessary loudness and a mess that he would have to clean up.

He walked up to the place where the music was blasting out of and unplugged it. Kurt immediately stopped dancing. He turned around looking confused and then smiled when he saw his dad.

"Oh hey dad. I didn't know you were home." Kurt said as if he did nothing wrong.

"You would if you're music weren't so damn loud. And what is with this mess? And didn't I tell you to move all you're magazines off the table this morning?" Burt ranted angrily not seeming to notice Kurt's change in demeanor. He still looked confused but his expression looked hurt, apologetic, and frightened.

"Oh..I'm sorry. I-I'll m-move those right now." Kurt stammered.

"Why didn't you just listen when I told you to do it? Clean this kitchen and get your magazines and go to your room."

"Y-yes sir." Kurt said with his eyes downcast. Kurt hurried to clean up the kitchen while Burt decided to look in the refrigerator for dinner.

"What was for dinner?" he asked tiredly.

"Y-you s-said you were going to pick s-something up after work." Kurt said quietly, not looking up while he was cleaning. Burt swore and was too tired to think rationally.

"Things were so much easier when I was alone." He thought he had said it quietly enough to himself that Kurt couldn't hear but he was wrong. Kurt had heard it and tears gathered in his eyes and his good mood was completely shattered. All old feelings of being a burden, not being good enough, and Burt not wanting him began to resurface.

Once Kurt was done in the kitchen, he went to the living room to gather his stuff and go to his room. He got ready for bed- without dinner- and a part of him hoped that Burt would come and say goodnight to him like he did every night. But an hour later as he laid there staring at the ceiling he realized it wouldn't happen. And he couldn't help but feel like it was all his fault.

...

Kurt had just came home from school. He was still getting used to Dalton. He had homework to catch up on and homework they had just assigned but he didn't ask for any help with it. He tried to do it all himself.

It was 6:30 by the time his mom got home from work. This week she was working as a bartender not far from here. He hated this job for her. To think that she's supposed to making drinks for other people not herself. She came home drunk half of the time and either get angry at him and beat him until she had no more strength or just passed out on the couch and leave him without any food. He preferred the last one of course, it was less painful. He had been learning to cook on his own so he didn't mind anymore when she didn't cook anything.

Kurt was doing homework in the kitchen when his mother got home. She comes home and Kurt immediately smells alcohol. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, hoping she's tired.

"What the hell is this mess?" She asked, walking into the kitchen to see the mess of Kurt's homework all over the table.

"My homework...i have a lot to catch up." Kurt said not looking up but continuing to do his homework.

"Go work at your desk." She said.

"Mom, I work better in here." Kurt said looking at her finally. "Why does it even matter to you? The only reason you come in here is to drink or eat the food that _I_ make." She glared at him hard.

"Why does it matter to me?" She asked moving to the table and shoving half the papers to the floor.

"Mom!"

"I own this house!" She claims as she rips a finished draft of an essay.

"Stop! Please!"

"I paid for everything in this house." She says as she balls up more papers and tosses them in the garbage.

"Come on! Please I need to finish this." Kurt cried.

"What I say goes okay?" She says grabbing tightly at the collar of his shirt. "Do not talk back to me sweetie. I will punish you way worse than you're use to."

"Okay okay. I'm sorry." Kurt choked out. She let go of his collar and smirked at him.

"Going to bed. Enjoy you're homework." She laughed before leaving the kitchen. Kurt put his head in his hand and tried not to cry. He spent the rest of the night trying to redo the ruined homework but wound up not having time to finish the rest. Which led to him getting trouble in school and having a parent teacher conference.

"Kurt's a wonderful student. But he needs to stay on top a his work." The headmaster, Mr. Keaton said. Kurt had his head down and his mother on the outside looked like a typical loving mother. But it was all a facade. As soon as they were out of Dalton Kurt knew he was in trouble.

"I don't know what's gotten into him. I asked him if he wanted help yesterday but he told me he didn't." She lied straight through her teeth.

"Kurt, it's okay to need help. A lot of students have a little trouble with the work load when they first arrive at Dalton. Don't be ashamed of it." Mr. Keaton smiled at Kurt but Kurt couldn't really return it.

"Yes sir." Kurt whispered.

"I'm sorry for all the trouble Kurt caused. He's been acting out a lot lately. He gets it from his father." She said the last part jokingly and Kurt glared at the floor.

"He's caused no trouble Ms. Hummel. We were just concerned. He was falling asleep in a lot of his classes and not doing homework. We just wanted you to know so you could talk to him about it and make sure he gets the right amount of sleep and does his homework." Mr. Keaton smiled.

"Thank you Mr. Keaton. Will that be all?" She asked smiling. Kurt didn't want this meeting to be over. But sadly it was.

"Yes. Thanks for taking the time to come out here." Mr. Keaton said shaking her hand.

"No problem. As soon as we get home we'll work on a homework and sleeping schedule young man." She scolded him in front of his headmaster. As soon as they were out of his view she grabbed his arm tightly and yanked him towards the exit. When they found the car she drove them silently home. When they got inside Kurt was already shaking. He barely got to the living room before he was being yelled at.

"Why do you always to be such and inconvenience to me?" She screamed. "Why the hell didn't you do your homework? Can you do anything right?"

"Y-you messed up my h-h-homework. I was almost done!" Kurt shot back. She stalked up to him and smacked him.

"Things would be so much easier without you." She said before kneeing him in the stomach. Kurt doubled over.

"So why did you just leave me with dad?" Kurt rasped. She pulled him upright and looked him darkly.

"Because honey. You ruined my life, it's only fair that I ruin yours as well."

"W-what?" He asked confused and then her knee came up to connect with his stomach again.

...

Kurt let out a loud sob as he woke up. Normally, he would call Blaine or go to Burt but he didn't want to inconvenience them any further. He grabbed a piece of paper and wrote a note and within 15 minutes he was gone.

* * *

><p>Burt woke up feeling much better than he had last night. He got up just like he did every morning. Showered, brushed his teeth, made coffee enough for both him and Kurt, and got his newspaper. He sat down and wondered what was missing. Then the events from last night came flooding back to him. Yelling at Kurt, being irrational because he had a hard day, saying things were easier when Kurt wasn't around. <em>Oh god.<em>

Burt immediately got up and headed to Kurt's bedroom.

"Hey buddy? Are you up?" Burt knocked. There was no response. Burt hesitantly opened his door and was terrified when he saw that Kurt's bed was empty.

"Kurt?" He called out. "Where are you?" He looked around and he knew something was wrong. He spotted a piece of paper on Kurt's bed and picked it up. His blood went cold when read the note.

_I'm sorry for being such a horrible son. I should have moved my magazines, cleaned the kitchen, and turned my music down. I understand you don't really want me. I am an inconvenience to you just like I was to mom. I'm so sorry for ruining both of your lives. I thought we were getting along fine but I guess I was being too selfish to realize you weren't happy. But I'll get out of your life. You'll be able to have a family with Finn and Carole and not be annoyed by me. Goodbye Burt._

_ -Kurt_

Burt had tears running down his face. He didn't cry too often but this was an exception. He hated how everything was so great but he messed it up in one day. He hurried to look for his phone and dialed Kurt's number. It went to voice mail every time. He left a message the 3rd time.

_**'Kurt? This is your dad. Please come home. We need to talk about what happened. Whatever you're thinking right now is wrong. I...i just really need you to come back buddy. I'll make it up to you. I promise...Love you son.'**_

Burt sighed as he ended the call. He needed to find him. But where would he look? Where would he go? Burt then got an idea and dialed another number.

'Mr. Hummel?' Blaine answered the phone.

'Blaine? Is Kurt with you?' Burt rushed out.

'No...Why would he be?' Blaine asked sounding confused.

'I-I don't know where he went...i really messed up last night.' Burt admitted.

'….i'll be over soon.' Blaine said shortly.

'Okay..thank you Blaine.' Burt said.

'No problem.'

They soon ended the call and Burt sat on Kurt's beds and cried just like he did when he lost Kurt the first time.

* * *

><p>"Woah Blaine. What's going on? Why are you in such a hurry?" Cooper asked as he watched his little brother get ready to go out.<p>

"I have to go over to Kurt's house." Blaine answered vaguely.

"Well slow down squirt. Kurt's not going anywhere." Cooper joked. Blaine ignored him for a bit as he put on his shoes and his coat.

"He's missing. I have to help Burt look for him." Blaine eventually told him. Cooper's eyes widened.

"What?"

"I don't know what's going on. All Burt said was that he really messed up last night." Blaine said heading out the door. Cooper grabbed his coat and headed out along with him.

"What the hell does that mean?" Cooper asked, his mind already jumping to conclusions.

"I don't know. But I trust Burt. He probably said something that brought back bad memories for Kurt." Blaine said getting in the car. "You coming?" Cooper nodded and jumped in the passengers seat.

"You have an idea where Kurt might be?" Cooper asked. Blaine kept his eyes on the road.

"Yeah I think so."

* * *

><p>By the time Cooper and Blaine arrived at Kurt's house Burt was waiting outside. Both Cooper and Blaine hurried out of the car and to Burt. Burt just looked at them both sadly and handed Blaine the note. They both read it and looked at Burt with wide eyes.<p>

"I'll explain in the car. Do you have an idea where Kurt might be?" Burt said immediately.

"Yes, it'll take a while to get there though." Blaine said getting back into the car. Burt got in the back and Cooper took his place.

"Are you gonna tell us what the hell you did?" Cooper asked, still not believing what was going on. Burt sighed. He relayed what he remembered from last night in detail. He told them he had a rotten day at work. That he came home angry. That he took at out on Kurt and wasn't really thinking. Cooper and Blaine were a bit angry but they knew he didn't mean it.

"You guys are still getting used to living together." Cooper said after a short silence.

"I yelled at him and he barely did anything wrong." Burt said sounding ashamed.

"That's what parents do. And then they apologize. But Kurt wouldn't know that because after being yelled at he was either abused or told that he wasn't needed or wanted." Blaine said softly. "You need to teach him that you're going to yell sometimes and you guys will have moments where you'll be angry at each other but in the end it's not because he isn't wanted, it's because he's loved." Burt smiled at his reflection in the car mirror.

"You're wise for your age." Burt commented.

"Kids like Kurt and Blaine grow up fast." Cooper says and Burt watches as he looks at his little brother fondly. Burt agrees and soon Blaine stops the car. They are in front of a park. A very familiar park.

"Uh Blaine why are we here?" Cooper asked looking out the window confused.

"If I know Kurt as well as I think I do, he will be here. I think Burt should go alone. He should be-"

"Through those trees near a little lake, away from everyone else?" Burt guessed and Blaine looked surprised. "I used to take him here when he was little." Blaine nodded.

"Go make things right."

* * *

><p>Blaine's theory was right, Kurt was near the lake. Burt was quiet as he walked up to him. Scaring him would just make things worse.<p>

"Hey buddy?" Burt said gently. Kurt jumped anyways. He turned quickly towards Burt and looked surprised to see him here.

"Da-" Kurt cut himself off. "B-burt what are you doing here?" Burt looked at him with disbelief.

"You weren't in you're room this morning. You really expected me to just go on with my life, like nothing happened?"

"Uh..yeah? I thought you wanted an easier life. I complicate everything, you said it yourself: Life was so much easier when you were alone." Kurt said and looked back to the lake. Burt walked closer to him.

"I had a bad day at work. I didn't mean anything I said last night Kurt."

"Then why did you say it?" Kurt whispered brokenly.

"Because I'm still learning Kurt." Burt began to explain. "I'm learning how to be a father again. Before I would come home from a bad day of work and have nothing to worry about. I would just grab a beer, order some food, and watch some TV until I fell asleep. I'm not use to having to worry about you and me."

"So why are you here? Why not go back to your life the way it was?" Kurt wondered.

"Because Kurt I'm tired of easy. I'm tired of normal. I'm tired of knowing that everything is going to be in the same place when I come home." Burt said with a smile. "Kurt, having you back in my life has made me happier than I could ever be. Living with you isn't easy and I know living with me isn't easy either but I will never ever regret it. You will never be an inconvenience to me kiddo." Burt told him truthfully and by the end of his speech Kurt was sniffing and looking at Kurt relieved.

"S-so you so want me?" Kurt asked and Burt opened his arms and waited for Kurt to step into his embrace.

"Always buddy. You are my son and I will love you no matter what." Burt said pressing a kiss to the top of his hair.

"I love you too dad." Kurt whispered. Burt smiled and held Kurt a little bit longer.

"Come on. Let's get you home." Burt said

* * *

><p>That night after all the drama of the morning Kurt got what he was in dire need of the night before. A goodnight from his dad. He woke up that night with the same dream from the night before and this time Burt was already there the listen to the horrid nightmare. They both cried. Kurt more than Burt, but they both cried nonetheless. Burt made sure that Kurt knew he loved him and that she was a sick and terrible person and Kurt had done nothing to deserve it. Kurt fell asleep with tears dried on his face but also with a smile. Burt looked down a his son with a sad smile wondering how Elizabeth, a woman he once loved so much, could have looked at this beautiful child and see all these vile things when all he saw was wonderful miracle that he would never let out of his grasp again.<p>

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><p><strong>What did you think of this chapter? Let me know what you think with a review :) Also is there anything you guys want to see in a chapter? Feel free to let me know!<strong>

**Hint for next chapter: Awkward Finn! :)**


	10. New Arrangements

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry i made you wait so long with the next chapter. Just migraines as usual make it hard to do anything. Anyways i'm so glad you guys are loving this story and are understanding that it's going to take Kurt a while to get better. **

**Also i just want to explain Elizabeth a bit more. She felt like Kurt ruined her life by being born and she wanted to ruin his. She could have done the logical thing and just left but if you haven't noticed she's kind of crazy. So i hope that explains it a little bit. There will be more flashbacks in the future that will help everyone understand Elizabeth's motives a little bit more. There is one in this chapter as well ;) Enjoy!**

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><p>After that day, things weren't as great as they were before. Kurt was still scared to mess up with Burt. So every time Burt came home, the house was spotless and Kurt was either quietly doing homework or cooking dinner. Burt had to assure him that he didn't need everything to be perfect. He could just be a teenager and Burt would have to get used to it. They had to get use to each other. They were able to move past that moment, but something was bound to test their abilities again.<p>

* * *

><p>Burt was on the phone with Carole and Kurt was doing his homework in the living room. Kurt heard pieces of the conversation and it didn't seem like a very good one.<p>

"So where are you going to live while they are fixing your house." There was a long pause. "I need to talk to him but I think that would be the best idea. Things have been better lately." Another pause. "Okay I'll call you back later." A few minutes later Burt emerged from the kitchen with a contemplative look on his face.

"Kurt can we talk for a minute?" Burt asked. Kurt set down his pen and looked up at him curiously.

"What is it?" Burt sat down across from Kurt and sighed.

"Carole just called and..her house is undergoing some construction and she and Finn don't have a place to stay." Burt informed him and Kurt saw where this conversation was going.

"Oh." Kurt said looking down at his hands.

"Hey listen. I wouldn't let them stay over unless you were okay with it. So what would you say if for a few weeks they move in." Burt asked. "I can clean out the basement and you can sleep down there. And Finn can have your room and I'll share with Carole." Kurt looked at his dad seriously for a few moments.

"You love her." It wasn't a question. Burt looked a little sheepish but smiled and nodded.

"Yeah kiddo, she's amazing." Kurt nodded at that but still had something on his mind.

"Did...did you love mom..like that?" Kurt seemed afraid of the answer but Burt was sort of prepared for this question.

"Your mom..she was amazing when I first met her. She was so full of hope and had a beautiful spirit and she wanted to do so much all at once." Burt smiled fondly but also sadly. "She wanted to be a singer. Her voice was beautiful but then.." Burt stopped but Kurt seemed to realize what that meant.

"...then she had me?" Kurt asked with a trembling voice. Burt sighed but nodded.

"We didn't really plan for a baby but when we found out about you I guess I was more excited than her. And she sort of forgot about her dreams. I told her that we could go somewhere and try to find a way for her to keep those dreams but she never took me up on that offer." Burt was watching for Kurt to show some kind of expression but he seemed to be get better at hiding his emotions lately, which Burt wasn't really too psyched about.

"But did you love her?" Kurt asked again. Burt looked at him again.

"Yes. I did but then I fell out of love with her when she started to change." Burt told him honestly. Kurt looked at him with mild disbelief.

"How can you just fall out of love with someone? People are constantly changing. How can she be so different from the mom I knew and the one you knew." Kurt asked him.

"Because the Elizabeth I knew would have never cause any physical pain to a child." Burt said without reserve. "And the Elizabeth I knew wouldn't use demeaning words when speaking about her son." Kurt looked away incredulously. "But for some reason the older you became the more she changed. She would yell at you for no reason. Some nights she wouldn't come home. We would fight all the time. It's almost as if she stopped growing up. She was too disappointed in herself to care about anything else and she wanted everyone else around her to be as miserable as she was. And no matter how much I tried to make her happy, it wouldn't work." Burt finished off and Kurt had tears in his eyes.

"So everything she's said about me was true. I ruined her life." Kurt said to himself but Burt heard him.

"You did nothing Kurt. You need to stop blaming yourself for something you had no control over." Burt said in an austere manner. "She was a dreamer but she was afraid to take any action. And that was not the person I fell in love with, no matter how much I tried to believe she was." Burt looked and Kurt was still looking away from him. It was silent for a while and Burt started to believe that Kurt would have one of those weeks where he doesn't want to talk to anyone, but as always Kurt is full of surprises.

"I think I want Carole and Finn to stay." Kurt told him quietly.

"Really? Because remember what happened last time?" Burt reminded him. Kurt smiled faintly at him.

"I think I can handle it dad. If I want to get better I need to face my fears. I think I'll do better this time." Burt nodded. Kurt has been doing better now.

"If you ever feel overwhelmed at all you just tell me okay?" Kurt chuckled.

"Yes dad. I promise."

* * *

><p>"Are you sure this time?" Blaine asked him over Skype. Kurt rolled his eyes.<p>

"Yes Blaine, I'm positive." He tells his boyfriend. Blaine narrows his eyes at him.

"Can you tell me what's really on your mind?" Blaine said and Kurt sighed.

"Okay okay. I know I'm going to have a hard time but that's all part of healing right?" Blaine nodded.

"Right."

"I need to do this Blaine. If I can do this I can finally feel normal. I don't think I've ever felt normal." Kurt explained to him and Blaine smiled at him sadly.

"No one is normal Kurt. There is no way someone as fabulous as you could be normal." Blaine gushed and Kurt giggled.

"Blaaaiine. You know what I mean. I just want then to like me. If dad is really serious about Carole then they'll get married and I need to be ready for that." Kurt pouted and Blaine chuckled.

"You're adorable, you know that right?" Blaine said smiling at Kurt. Kurt grinned.

"You tell me everyday." Kurt teases.

"Because it's true and I never want you to forget that."

"You're pretty adorable yourself." Kurt smirked.

"Why thank you." Blaine beamed. Kurt laughed. "Listen, I just want you to know that I believe in you and I think you can do this." Kurt smiled softly at him.

"I love you."

"And I love you."

* * *

><p>"So we're moving in with them?" Carole sighed. She had already gone over this a few times with Finn.<p>

"Only temporarily. Just until everything in our house is done."

"Do I uh..have to share a room with Kurt?" Finn asked and Carole raised an eyebrow at him in the mirror of the car.

"Finn." Carole sighed.

"I'm just asking! I-I don't know him that well so like uh I don't want to be in his space." Finn stumbled over his words.

"Are you sure it isn't the other way around?" Carole asked her son calmly and Finn didn't meet her short gaze in the mirror. She sighed again. "Finn, I know you haven't had much experience with gay people but if you can look beyond that I'm sure Kurt is just like any other teenager." She assured him. "And besides with what he's gone through it's gonna take him some time to even want to be in your personal space."

"I know mom." Finn said. "I'll try to get used to this, but the guys at school wont like it." Carole shook her head.

"One think you'll learn as you go on in life is that you can't please everyone Finn. No matter what you do, there will always be someone who doesn't approve. Just try to please yourself Finn."

"What if pleasing everyone is what pleases me?" Finn asked her curiously.

"Believe me if you spent your whole life trying to please everyone, you'll never get anything done. Understand?" Carole asked briefly looking at Finn.

"Yeah mom." He nodded even though he didn't quite understand. Everyone has expectations for him that he always wants to meet so does that mean he doesn't have to live up to the ones he didn't care about? Finn scrunched up his face and decided to forget about it, he was only a teenager he didn't need to figure this out anyways.

They made it to the Hummel's house soon after that. They were sort of early and we kind of shocked to see Kurt outside the house, but he wasn't alone. He was smiling, something neither of them had saw when they came to dinner, and he was holding hands with the guy.

"That must be his boyfriend, Blaine." Carole mused. And right after that Kurt and Blaine kissed. Finn averted his eyes quickly and Carole cooed at them. "They are so cute." She watched as Blaine left the house and Kurt waited until Blaine was out of sight to go back inside. "Come on sweetie, let's let them know we're here." Carole said before getting out of the car. Finn sighed, it would take a while to get used to all this.

* * *

><p>With in an hour the Hudson's essential needs were in the house and everyone, sans Kurt was in the living room watching TV.<p>

"How's Kurt taking this?" Carole asked Burt quietly.

"He's doing okay. He said he didn't mind you guys staying over, he just needs some time to get used to it." Burt told her. She nodded in understanding.

"Finn's also going to need some time to get used to Kurt." Carole whispered to him so Finn wouldn't hear.

"I'll talk to him. Maybe take him down to the shop with Kurt tomorrow." Burt said looking over at Finn.

"Sounds like a good idea. Could get them talking."

* * *

><p>Later that night as everyone was in there respective bedrooms, a loud round of sobs woke everyone up.<p>

"Burt? What's going on?" Carole asked sleepily as Burt got out of bed.

"It's Kurt. Probably just had a nightmare. It's okay go back to sleep." Burt said calmly before leaving the room. But Carole was curious so she followed Burt to Kurt's room and watched from the door.

"Shh..it's alright kiddo. You're okay." Burt soothed. Carole smiled sadly at the sight. Kurt had his head on his father's shoulder and Burt had his arm around Kurt, rubbing his back to help him calm down.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Burt asked quietly. Kurt took at deep shuttering breath.

"Did I tell you I tried to run away once?" Kurt asked quietly. Burt looked shocked and a little scared at what happened after he tried to run away.

"No, you didn't." Burt responded softly.

"It was on my 13th birthday."

...

"Can we see dad this year? Just today? I just want to see him again." Kurt asked. It was his birthday. He never got anything for his birthday anymore but that was all he wanted.

"No." His mother said not even sparing him a glance. She probably didn't even remember it was his birthday.

"Why not? I deserve to see my dad if I want to." Kurt remained adamant.

"He's gone Kurt." She said looking at him seriously. Kurt blinked at her.

"What do you mean g-gone?" Kurt demanded.

"Don't they teach you anything in that damn school." She rolled her eyes. "He's dead Kurt. Dead."

Kurt had felt his whole world shatter. It couldn't be true. It can't be true. He can't do this to him, he's supposed to find him and save him. She had to be lying, she just had to.

"I-I don't believe you." Kurt said stepping away from her.

"Don't believe me then. It wont make what I said change." She shrugged.

"Why aren't you crying then?" Kurt said with tears already gathering in his eyes.

"Because I'm not a little wuss like you are." She said as a matter of fact. "You cry about every little thing. You have to learn how to take things like a man Kurt." Kurt looked at her and shook his head and ran out of the room.

Hours later he was prepared to get out of this house and find his dad. He packed a bag and was about to head out the front door quietly. His mom should have been sleep in her bed but instead she was waiting for him at the front door. To this day he still didn't know how the hell she knew he was going to try and leave.

"Where do you think you're going?" She asked nonchalantly.

"I-I was g-g-going to uh-" Kurt stammered nervously.

"Run away?" She laughed. "Find you're dead father. You really thought you'd get away from me that easily? If I wanted things to be easy for you I would have left you with your dad." She said.

"I-I'm sorry! I-I wont try to run again." Kurt rushed out. Kurt took a few steps back, stepping on the neck of a stray beer bottle and breaking it. He continued to walk away hoping his mother would let him off with a warning. She picked up a large piece of the beer bottle and looked at it.

"I know you wont run away again." She said evenly. "Go to your room and wait for me there." Kurt hurried to his room knowing that any hesitance would just make it worse for him in the end. Within a few minutes she was in the room with him.

"Stand." She ordered. "And stay still." He did as she said. She still had the glass in her hand. She looked at him calculatingly for a second. As if she were wondering where to strike. "Lift up your head." He did so and the next moments went agonizingly slow before she slashed him right down his neck. He cried out and his eyes watered.

"Your father is dead and you will accept it. Just know if you run away you're running away to nothing."

"Nothing is far better than you." Kurt whispered harshly. She chuckled.

"Don't bleed to death." She said before leaving. Kurt tended to his wound after she left and the day after that was the day he started to buy and where scarves so no one would know.

...

Carole was in tears after the story. It was obvious that something had been seriously wrong with Elizabeth to be that malicious towards an innocent child. She watched as Burt held his son tightly as if he was scared he would slip though his fingers.

"I'm so glad you're here." Burt whispered again and again to Kurt. Soon enough Kurt was sleep again and Burt got up where he spotted Carole at the door. He looked at her wistfully and went to her. He held out his hand and they left the room together.

"Oh my god." Carole sobbed quietly when they got back to Burt's room. Burt held her close as she cried. "How could anyone do that to a child?"

"I don't know." Burt said faintly. He held her while she cried until they heard small knock on there door. Burt opened the door and it revealed Finn.

"Is everything okay?" Finn asked looking concerned. Carole nodded.

"Everything is fine sweetie. Just go back to bed." Carole told her son. He looked at her still worried but listened. When Finn was gone Burt and Carole headed to bed in silence, still holding on to each other.

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><p>When Finn woke up in the morning to the smell of chocolate chip pancakes. He shot up from the bed and hurried to the kitchen. Mom was probably making a huge breakfast for everyone, he thought. He got to the kitchen and stopped in his tracks when he realized it was not his mother but Kurt cooking breakfast. He debated whether or not he should go back to his room and wait for Burt and Carole to get up or not but when Kurt turned around he was trapped. They both stared awkwardly at each other not knowing what to say.<p>

"Good morning Finn." Kurt spoke first.

"Hey dude." Finn said eventually. Kurt took a bunch of pancakes and put them on a plate.

"You can eat now if you want." Kurt told him and Finn wasn't about to let that offer slide. He took a seat, covered his pancakes in maple syrup and took a bite."

"Holy crap. These are better than my mom's" Finn said surprised. Kurt chuckled, surprised at the compliment.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." Finn said while he continued eating. Kurt sat down to eat as well and it got awkward again.

"Uh..do you like video games?" Finn asked in between bites of food.

"Some of them. But I don't have any." Kurt told him glad that his voice wasn't as nervous as he felt inside.

"Do all gay people like video games?" Finn asked and Kurt stiffened a bit.

"I-I don't think video games have anything to do with sexuality." Kurt spoke softly.

"But you don't really look like someone who plays video games. I mean none of the girls I know like video games. They are just like 'Why is blowing someone's head off so fun to you?' I mean seriously they don't understand." Finn said and Kurt wanted to smile but he was insulted.

"Yeah, well for your information I'm not a girl." Kurt snapped quietly.

"I-I didn't mean it like that it's just that you like guys like they like guys so I can compare you better to them I guess."

"Just because I like guys it doesn't mean that I'm a girl." Kurt snapped a little louder and Finn watched in horror as Kurt's breathing got shallower just like when they came to dinner.

"Oh god. Dude you got to calm down." Finn urged. He was terrified he didn't know what to do.

"Uh breathe?" Finn told him, not knowing what to do. "Oh god please don't die. My mom would kill me. I-i mean she wouldn't be like your mom." Finn tried to joke but he thinks with that he make it worse when Kurt's eyes rolled up and he fainted. Finn hurried to catch him so he wouldn't hit his head.

"Holy shit, I'm an idiot." Finn told himself before shouting for him mother and Burt. The rest was kind of a blur for Finn. He watched at his mom and Burt crowded around Kurt. They laid him on his back and made sure he was breathing. Soon enough Kurt was awake again and Finn slipped out of the kitchen as to not cause anymore trouble.

"I'm going to go talk to Finn." Burt said as soon as he was sure Kurt could sit fine on his own. That left Carole alone with Kurt. They were quiet for a while. Kurt taking sips of the water he was given and Carole watched him.

"Are you feeling a little better?" She asked him gently. Kurt nodded but didn't speak. "Do you remember why you fainted?" She asked but Kurt didn't respond at all. She sighed.

"Finn is a good kid, Kurt. He really is. But he's easily influenced by his friends." Carole enlightened him. "I apologize for anything he's said, I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt your feelings." Kurt was still silent after that. Carole didn't expect him to talk at all.

"I-I guess we both have some things to get used to huh?" Kurt asked quietly. Carole smiled.

"We all have some things to get used to but I think we'll be fine." Carole winked at him and Kurt smiled at her. Maybe he could get used to this.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what you guys thought of it with a review! :)<strong>

**Hint for next chapter: Burt and Finn convo, more Kurt and Carole interaction and maaaaybe some New Directions and Blaine. ^_^**


	11. Too quick to judge

**A/N: I'm sooo sorry for taking forever to update guys! I've had like the worse week ever! The only upside was that i got into my top college! Yay for me! Anywaaaays here's the new chapter! This is a Finn heavy chapter so we can get into his mind a bit :) But i did manage to get a flashback in there. Also sorry for the lack of Carole! She'll be in the next chapter for sure! I just really wanted to build Finn and Kurt's friendship.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make him faint!" Finn said frantically after Burt asked to speak with him. "I don't know how to talk to him! What do you say to someone like that?"<p>

"Someone like what Finn?" Burt asked narrowing his eyes at Finn.

"I don't know. Someone who has had everything happened to him. It's like everything I say might hurt him." Finn complained. Burt sighed. He knew what Finn meant, but he had already gotten used to it.

"What did you say to him?" Burt asked.

"What?"

"What did you say to cause him to faint?" Burt clarified.

"I was just trying to get him to not freak out." Finn tried to defend himself. "But he kept freaking out and I just said my mom would kill me if something happened to him but she wouldn't be like his mom." Burt closed his eyes and sighed.

"Finn, you are a good kid but honestly that's what you chose to joke about?" Burt asked him.

"I'm sorry! I panicked and it sort of slipped out!" Finn cried.

"It's okay, Finn. That was your first time alone with Kurt and you were both nervous. I'm sure he knows you didn't mean it." Burt told him. Finn looked at him in shock.

"Wait, you aren't mad?" Finn asked in disbelief. Burt chuckled.

"No Finn, I'm not mad. Because you just made a mistake. And it will probably happen again but as long as you don't hurt him on purpose I wont be mad." Burt said standing up.

"I-I don't understand. I made him faint." Finn said still confused and basically waiting for a punishment.

"Will you think before you speak next time?" Burt asked him. Finn nodded immediately. "Good. That's all I need to know."

"Okay sir." Finn responded, still amazed he didn't get in trouble.

"It's Burt, kid." Burt smiled, patting Finn on the shoulder and going back to check on Kurt.

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><p>The rest of that day Finn avoided Kurt. He didn't know how to talk to him without something bad happening so he figured staying away was the best idea. So he headed over to Puck's house the first chance he got. They dedicated their time to video games and talking about what happened that morning.<p>

"Wait wait wait. You're living with a fag?" Puck asked him, still looking at the TV screen.

"I-I yeah but he's not bad I guess." Finn said, casting Puck a nervous glance.

"Not bad? He's already turning you isn't he?" Puck joked. Finn glared at the screen.

"Shut up. We've barely even talked without him freaking out." Finn said rapidly pressing buttons on his controller.

"Freaking out about what? You should be the one freaking out. Think of what the guys will say when they find out." Puck said moving his controller in crazy motions.

"They aren't going to find out dude. I'm not going to mention him and you can't say anything about this." Finn grit through his teeth as he watched the screen intensely.

"Whatever man. But everyone knows at Mckinely no secrets are safe." Puck says as he crosses the finish line of the racing game they were playing. Puck does his smug victory dance while Finn is lost in his own head. He didn't want anyone to find out, he's already kind of ridiculed for being in Glee, everyone knowing he's living with Kurt will make things ten times worse.

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><p>Later that day when Finn headed home he stopped by the garage like his mom asked him to. Maybe she wanted him to pick up a thing or two about cars. What he saw when he got there was sort of surprising. <em>Kurt<em> was working on a car. Like _really_ working. Like a _guy_ would.

"Kurt. How's it looking over there?" Burt called out from somewhere in the shop, Finn couldn't see him and was still a little too in shock from seeing Kurt working on a car.

"Great. It's all fixed." Kurt said proudly as he closed the hood of the car he was working on. Burt came over with a large grin and squeezed Kurt's shoulder.

"See, fixing cars is in your blood kid." Kurt smiled back at him.

"I never thought I'd like it but it's not bad at all." He shrugged. Finn was still staring in shock. He couldn't believe that Kurt liked working on cars. Well, he doesn't really know anything about Kurt but still it's very surprising. Soon enough Burt noticed Finn standing there and ushered him in.

"You want to help Kurt work on a car?" Burt asked and Finn kind of thought it might be a challenge.

"I..uh yeah I guess." Finn said as Burt took him where Kurt was hard at work with another car.

"Just help him out and later I'll show you the ropes." Burt said before going to help a client who just showed up. Finn stood, hovering near Kurt waiting for some form of instruction.

"Uh..can you pass me the crescent wrench?" Kurt asked looking at Finn nervously.

"Are you sure that's what you need?" Finn asked. Kurt raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'm changing the car battery." Kurt said as if that answered the question.

"How do you know so much about cars?" Finn questioned him. Kurt grabbed the wrench on his own and got to work.

"My dad owns a car garage if you hadn't noticed." Kurt remarked sarcastically.

"I was just asking." Finn mumbled. Kurt sighed.

"Vise pliers." Kurt gestured to the item. Finn handed them to him.

"So..you like cars?" Finn tried to coax some kind of answer out of him.

"Yes, I do." Kurt said simply.

"Does your..uh..boyfriend like cars?" Finn asked trying but failing to sound nonchalant.

"He owns a car, he likes his car, and he's fixed a car before. But he doesn't enjoy fixing cars." Kurt said calmly.

"And you do?" Finn asked, trying to pry. Kurt sighed.

"Yes."

"How?" Finn queried.

"How what?" Kurt asked beginning to get annoyed.

"I-nevermind." Finn stopped himself before he said anything stupid. Kurt went back to work. "Have you ever kissed a girl?" Kurt paused.

"No." Kurt said slowly.

"So dude how do you know you're gay?!" Finn questioned. Kurt finally turned to Finn.

"Have you ever kissed a boy?" Kurt inquired. Finn spluttered.

"What? No!" Finn said defensively.

"So _dude, _how do you know you're straight?!" Kurt quipped, feigning ignorance.

"Because I like girls not guys! I've never wanted to kiss a guy!" Finn said immediately. Kurt smirked to himself.

"Let that sink in. Hopefully one day you'll understand we're not that different." Kurt told him before continuing his work in silence. Finn took his silence as dismissal and left and Burt who had been nearby the whole time sighed hoping that he could think of something to get them to get along.

* * *

><p>The next day Kurt was getting ready to hang out with his friends. He did his moisturizing routine which had miraculously gotten rid of some of the bruising visible on his face. For the rest of the bruising he usually put on some make-up. Kurt put together a stylish outfit and got ready to head out of the house.<p>

"Dad I'm going to hang out with the guys!" Kurt called out from his room where he was checking himself in the mirror. Burt came to his door.

"Do you need money?" Burt asked already going in his wallet for some.

"No dad. It's fine?" Kurt declined the offer. Burt put away the money.

"Okay then, I have a request for you." Kurt looked at him skeptically. "I want you to take Finn with you."

* * *

><p>Kurt, of course, protested that he didn't want to take Finn. He gave Burt a list of logical reasons why but Burt remained adamant about his request. So that's how Finn ended up walking with Kurt to the Lima Bean. Well walking about 3 feet away from Kurt, while he constantly looked around as if someone from his school would show up and rip on him for being close to Kurt. They made it to the Lima Bean early, none of Kurt's friends were there so they got on line.<p>

"So uh what happened this morning?" Finn asked. Kurt sighed, was it always going to be twenty questions with him?

"What do you mean?" Kurt humors him.

"You woke everyone up screaming." Finn recalled. Kurt stiffened. "You've actually done that since we've started living with you." Kurt didn't answer right away. He ordered coffee for he and Finn and found a seat where they boys would be able to see them when they came in.

"It was just a nightmare." Kurt shrugged it off but the more he thought about it the more he just felt like going back home and hiding back in his bedroom.

"Oh! Was it that one when you dream about falling and wake up right before you hit the ground?" Finn asked with wide eyes and shivered as if the very thought of that haunted him forever. Kurt chuckled a little at his silliness.

"No it wasn't that but I do hate that dream." Kurt said with a small amused smile.

"Dude it's the worst. One time I even fell out of my bed when I woke up. It was so weird." Finn continued and Kurt was trying not to laugh. He's noticed that Finn was extremely goofy and sometimes it overshadowed his tendency to be inconsiderate without really meaning to be.

"Ever had the dream where you go through like a whole day of school but then you wake up and you still have school?" Kurt asked him. Finn bounced in his seat.

"Oh my gosh I hate that dream!" Finn groaned. "Like seriously man, it's like I'm having two day's of school in one." Kurt snickered.

"I know right." Kurt said taking a sip of his coffee surprised at their weird moment of bonding.

"Oh dude what about the one where you are being chased. Can you imagine feeling like you always to look back because you're afraid someone is coming for you?" Finn said sounding excited. Kurt froze for a bit. He knew that feeling. He _still _felt that feeling often. Feeling like his mom would somehow come back and get him for not dying like she intended for him to. She would sometimes come out of nowhere and just beat the crap out of him. For a while he didn't want anyone, not even his friends in his personal space. But he couldn't think about that now. He's safe now. She's gone. She's gone. She's gone...

"Who's gone?" Kurt jumped a bit when he heard Finn's voice.

"I-I n-no one..it's stupid.." Kurt deflected.

"I doubt it's that stupid if it makes you space out like that." Finn said seriously, Kurt looked at him in surprise for a second. He licked his lips and was about to respond when he was interrupted.

"Kurt!" Both Kurt and Finn turned and saw a group of boys walking towards them. Kurt smiled.

"Hey guys." Kurt greeted them. Blaine came to his side and gave Kurt a hug. Everyone else looked at Finn confused. "Oh this is Finn, my dad's girlfriend's son." The boys all collectively glared at Finn, causing Finn to look mildly scared for his life and Kurt roll his eyes. "Calm down he's sort of harmless."

"I'm Blaine." Blaine held out his hand to Finn who shock it hesitantly. "These boys are Wes, David, Nick, and Jeff."

"Hey dudes." Finn nodded at them awkwardly.

"What were you guys talking about?" Wes asked when the table got quiet.

"Kurt woke up screaming this morning because of a bad dream so we were talking about those dreams that everyone has." Finn said. Blaine immediately turned to Kurt and Kurt mouthed a 'later' to him.

"Oh so like sex dreams?" Jeff said a little too eagerly. Nick slaps the back of his head playfully.

"There are other dreams Jeff." Nick tells him.

"Not if I'm sleeping next to you." Jeff says, suggestively waggling his eyebrows. Finn's eyes widened.

"Wait you guys are gay? _All_ of you?" Finn asked them. Most of the other boys laughed.

"You sound like Kurt when he came to Dalton." David chuckles.

"Wes and David are straight." Blaine tells Finn.

"At least that's what they want us to think." Nick mock whispers. Kurt is surprised to see Finn laugh at that.

"We are straight, two guys can snuggle without being in love with each other." Wes huffs. "Gosh you fall asleep on your best friend a few times and everyone thinks your fucking." That had Finn laughing harder and Kurt smiled. Finn wasn't half bad once he feels comfortable with you.

"Um yes it does. Exhibit A." Jeff says pointing to Kurt and Blaine.

"They aren't having sex, they are just in love and together." Wes argued back.

"So you're in love with David?" Jeff smirked. Wes glared at him.

"Don't listen to him Wes, he's just teasing." David comforted his friend.

"I can't help it if I get sleepy next to you, you're just so comfy." Wes mumbles. Jeff snickers.

"Wait, how long have you two been together?" Finn asks Kurt and Blaine suddenly.

"2 years." Kurt tells him.

"And you haven't had sex yet?" Finn asks incredulously. Kurt and Blaine blush furiously.

"We are not having this conversation." Kurt said adamantly.

"He's saving it for his 17th birthday." Jeff blurted out. Kurt glared at him.

"I'm never telling you anything anymore." Kurt huffs. Blaine takes his hand and squeezes it. Kurt smiles softly at him. Finn watches them curiously. _I wonder if that's how Rachel and I look at each other._

* * *

><p>They stayed at the Lima Bean for a few hours, joking around and having fun before leaving. Blaine headed back to the house along with Finn and Kurt. Kurt and Blaine headed back to Kurt's room and Finn stayed in the living room watching TV. Well he was trying to watch TV but heard sounds of crying. He got up and went to Kurt's room. It was open a crack and Kurt was laying with his head in Blaine's lap and Blaine was listening to Kurt talk.<p>

"I had a really bad dream today." Kurt said softly. Blaine cupped his face so Kurt was looking at him.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" Blaine asked him softly. Kurt took a deep breath.

"I told my dad it was just a bullying dream again but it was about the first day I was absent before you guys found me." Kurt whispered. Finn slid down the wall and listened closely.

"You told me you didn't want me to know the whole story." Blaine reminded him.

"I haven't told anyone about it and I dream about it too much. Maybe if I talk to you about pieces of it the dreams wont be so bad." Kurt says in a small voice. Blaine looks down into his eyes and smiles.

"Take your time it's no rush." Kurt takes another breath.

"Okay so remember you happy that week because she hadn't hurt me at all, and I tried to be happy as well but I knew that if she went large amounts of time without hurting me I would get a particularly bad beating soon."

...

She had gotten a new job with some musical theater group making costumes. She worked late and usually by the time she got home Kurt was sleep. She had this job for about a month before she got fired. It the tenth time she was fired that year and she was sick and tired of it. So she came home in a horrible mood.

Kurt heard the door slam loudly and was suddenly awake. He heard things things breaking and crashing downstairs and decided to peak out of his door. His mother was throwing a tantrum and destroying the house. Kurt quickly closed his door and went to his bed. He didn't want her to see him and decide he was a better target. Kurt thought she had calmed down about ten minutes later and sighed in relief. But it was short lived when she slammed his door open.

He looked at her. She wasn't drunk, surprisingly. But her eyes. Kurt would never forget them. She was clearly crying but her eyes had no life to them. He had never been more terrified of her in his life than at that moment.

"It's over. I'm done trying." She said dully.

"W-what?" Kurt asked.

"Get up." She ordered softly. Kurt followed this order quickly. She looked at him intensely. She walked up to him and took his chin in her hand. "How do you still keep the light in your eyes even when everything in your life is horrible." She asks gently. Kurt doesn't answer, just looks at her with wide eyes.

"We can't do this anymore Kurt. We don't belong here anymore." She said with a sad smile.

"Wha-what are you talking about?" Kurt asked frantically, dread filling his veins.

"Did you know I wanted to be a singer?" She asked him. Kurt nodded slowly.

"Y-yeah...when y-you were younger.." Kurt remembered. She shook her head.

"No..I've always wanted it. But _you,_" She laughs bitterly. "you ruined everything."

"H-how did I ruin your dream?" Kurt spat out. "You're ruining my life!" Kurt stood up for himself, but she was still smiling.

"That's the point. But don't worry, it won't be for much longer."

...

"S-She knocked me out and I woke up the next day a-and I-I-" Kurt sobbed. Blaine held him close while he cried. "P-p-please d-on't make m-me cont-continue."

"Shh baby. You're so brave for telling me all that." Blaine tells him. Finn watches as Kurt's shoulders shake hard.

"I-i can't ev-even suck it up f-for long enough t-to t-tell y-you everything else." Kurt cried. Blaine shushed him.

"You don't need to. You'll tell me when you are ready." Kurt continues to sob for a few minutes. Finn listens as Blaine hums a song to Kurt quietly, too low for him to figure out what it was.

"Do you want to take a nap?" Blaine asks him. Kurt nods sleepily.

"Can you stay?" he asks.

"For a while. I have to get back to Dalton soon. I'll leave when your dad and his girlfriend come back from their date." Blaine said and Kurt motioned for Blaine to join him in bed. Blaine obliged and got under the covers and took Kurt back in their arms. Finn didn't know how long he was watching but soon he couldn't hear Kurt's soft snores. He quietly got up and headed to his temporary room.

He was shocked, to say the least. He didn't know how bad Kurt had it but from what he just heard and what his mom told him Kurt was the equivalent to the strongest man alive. He immediately felt bad for all the thoughts he had about gay people because it's obvious Kurt's so much more than his sexuality. Kurt's more of a man than he is. Suddenly Puck's words to him about him being ridiculed for living with Kurt didn't make sense anymore.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you liked this chapter! Finn is seeing Kurt in a completely new light! But don't get too excited! Finn and Kurt still have a lot to learn about one another. Let me know what you thought of this chapter with a review! :)<strong>

**Hint for next chapter: Carole and Kurt! Maybe some more Puck and maybeee you'll some Finn at Mckinley!**

**I'll try not to take so much time with the next chapter this week!**


	12. Adjusting

**A/N: New Chapter! Sorry i took so long again! And oh my gosh you guys thanks for all the amazing reviews! You guys make me so happy i decided to post this story and continue writing it. So thank you! As promised Carole is in this chapter! And i also managed to get in a flashback, but lets just say it's not exactly a flashback you guys are used to (It's short but i still like it) ;) ENJOY!**

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><p>Kurt and Finn were friendlier since the day they hung out together. They both were still getting used to each other. Kurt getting used to having people he didn't really know in a house he'd only just gotten used to and getting used to Finn not thinking before he spoke. Finn getting used to Blaine being around a lot, and Kurt crying or screaming in the middle of the night.<p>

But the thing is Finn couldn't get used to that.

All the next week Kurt woke him up in the middle of the night sobbing about something. He felt sorry for him at first but now he felt like he was being some kind of attention seeker. So one night Burt didn't hear Kurt, and it was four o'clock in the morning and Finn had had enough. So he sleepily and angrily went to Kurt's room. The door was slightly open so he went right inside. Kurt was curled up on his bed crying his eyes out.

"Kurt, dude I'm sorry you had a nightmare or whatever but I really need to sleep and I can't sleep if you're being so loud." Finn said as nicely as he could muster with how annoyed he felt. Kurt's head shot up and he only cried more.

"Come on man! Seriously, you cry like every freaking day. I know your mom hit you a couple of times but you can't seriously still be thinking about that." Finn groaned. Kurt was getting quieter but still crying.

"G-Get o-out." Kurt choked out.

"Only if you stop being such a baby." Finn shot back. Kurt grabbed the nearest object, which was a book, and threw it at Finn who dodged it.

"GET OUT!" Kurt screamed, his face turning red as angry tears spilled down his cheeks.

"You need to grow up!" Finn yelled back to him and slammed the door as he left the room. He promptly went back to his room and everything was quiet. But even so, he still couldn't sleep. He wondered whether or not he should have said those things to Kurt. His mom was always telling him to be honest back stuff but he couldn't help but think he may have taken it a step too far.

* * *

><p>Kurt didn't get out of bed in the morning. It was Saturday and Kurt usually made breakfast for everyone. But no one had heard a peep out of him. Finn decided to keep quiet about what happened.<p>

"Maybe he had a nightmare." Finn said with a shrug. Burt sighed and shook his head.

"He usually lets me into his room when he has a nightmare." Burt says looking at Kurt's room with worry. Finn felt even guiltier.

"How about you call Blaine up? I'll make breakfast." Carole told Burt and Burt looked at her lovingly and gave her a short kiss.

"Thank you." He said quietly and went off to call Blaine. Carole went to make food and Finn sat there and let the day's events unfold.

Blaine was over an hour later. Finn had only talked to him really a few times and thought he was pretty okay. He didn't want to admit he thought he was kind of cool.

"Hey Burt." Blaine greeted when he came in the house.

"Hey kid, do you think you could get him to come out?" Burt asked.

"I don't know, but I'll try." Blaine said. "Hello Finn, good morning Ms. Hudson." Blaine greeted both of them.

"Call me Carole sweetie." Carole told him with a smile. Blaine had come over to dinner a few times and she had already grown sort of fond of the boy. "Did you want some breakfast?" She offered.

"No thank you. I just ate at home." He politely declined. "I'll go see what's up with Kurt." He excused himself to Kurt's room. Finn was curious and decided to go listen in on what was happening. After a few minutes it was obvious he let Blaine inside the room.

"Hey what's wrong?" Blaine asked looking at his boyfriend who was curled up on his bed.

"Nothing." Kurt said, his voice barely a whisper.

"Hey, come on you can talk to me. We have a thing about not letting emotions fester inside remember?" Blaine said giving his an encouraging smile.

"I don't need a babysitter you know." Kurt glared at him. Blaine frowned in confusion.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Blaine asked him. Kurt got out of bed and started walking around.

"I'm such a baby aren't I?" Kurt rose his voice a little. "My problems are so stupid right?"

"Kurt, what the hell are you talking about?" Blaine asked him, genuinely wondering where this was coming from.

"I know my dad sends you over here when he doesn't know how do deal with me crying all the time like a whiny little baby!" Kurt yelled.

"Kurt, you need to calm down." Blaine said gently. "We are just trying to help you."

"You know what would help?" Kurt shouted. "If you would let me deal with things on my own! Maybe I'll get better faster that way!"

"Really? Because last time you said you didn't need help you were almost killed Kurt!" Blaine cried.

"Really? I didn't know that! According to some people I was just hit a couple of times." Kurt threw his hands in the air. Blaine looked at him with complete confusion.

"What are you talking about?" Blaine asked going to Kurt trying to place a hand on his shoulder but instead is surprised when Kurt slaps his hand away.

"Don't touch me!" Kurt yells. Blaine sighs.

"Fine. Call me when you remember that it's not me you're angry with and I'd never belittle the problems of someone I love." Blaine says in a calm voice. Kurt has his back to Blaine and makes no move to stop him so he leaves the room. Blaine looks and sees Finn trying to look casual near the door. Blaine steps up to him slowly.

"What ever you said to him, you better fix it." Blaine said in a low voice. Finn's eyes widened.

"Wh-what? Dude I-I-" Finn stopped when Blaine held up his hand.

"Fix it Finn." Blaine said with a hard tone. Finn narrowed his eyes at him.

"You don't know what it's like!" Finn complains. "He cries all the time, and when he's not he's okay but I have to watch what I say around him before he gets all 'oh my gosh I can't breathe.' I mean seriously one yo mama joke and he's having an attack!" Blaine tries to be sympathetic, he really does, but he just takes offense on both his own part and Kurt's part.

"I lived with him for almost 2 months Finn. There were nights I didn't get sleep because of Kurt. And maybe it's because I love him, but I didn't care that I was losing sleep. I cared that he was okay because no human deserved what happened to him. And I know you don't know what she did to him, so it's inconsiderate of you to talk to him like you know the whole story. I understand that you've just met him and it can be overwhelming at times, but you're going to have to swallow your pride one of these days because you may not see it but your mom and Kurt's dad are in love and I'm pretty sure you'll be living here permanently soon." Blaine tells Finn. Finn looks at Blaine utterly surprised for a number of reasons. One, because he's never been so intimidated by someone shorter than him other than maybe Rachel. Two, he's never seen Blaine angry. Three, because he knew Blaine was right.

"I-I will you guys be okay?" Finn changed the subject. Blaine chuckled but it didn't seem very happy.

"We're fine. He just needs to cool down and you need to apologize." Blaine says not letting Finn off the hook. Soon enough Burt comes down the stairs to check to see if there is progress.

"Any luck Blaine?" Burt asked with hopeful eyes. Blaine gives Finn a look before turning to Burt.

"No, he just yelled at me." Blaine sighed. Burt patted his shoulder.

"Sorry kid. Come on, lets go watch some TV and try again later on." Burt says leading him and Finn up the stairs. Unbeknownst to the boys, Carole tip toes her way to Kurt's room a little while later. She quietly knocks on his door and goes in when she see's its already open. She looks and sees Kurt on the floor sniffling quietly.

"Kurt?" She asks softly. He jumps a little and looks at her. "I brought you some food." She holds out the plate of pancakes. She was a little stunned because she was able to see Kurt's bruises and scars. They are usually hidden by make up and layers of clothing but they were out.

"I'm not hungry." He mumbles but his stomach rumbles despite his answer. She walks to sit on the floor next to him.

"Eat up." She said handing him the plate. He looked at her but she just smiled and he sighed and took the food and began eating.

"You're not trying to coax me out of my room with delicious food are you?" Kurt asked warily. Carole giggled.

"No, I just want to make sure you eat." She said honestly. They sit in silence for a moment while Kurt takes a few bites of his food.

"I yelled at Blaine." Kurt says out of the blue. Carole was knew this already but was happily surprised when Kurt told her.

"Why?" She asked. Kurt was quiet again, Carole didn't know if he would even answer.

"Because I'm a horrible boyfriend." Kurt mumbled. Carole fought the urge to coo.

"You are not. I've seen you two together. You are both wonderful to each other." She said with an honest smile.

"You don't think I let Blaine take care of me too much?" Kurt asked insecurely. Carole is surprised by the question.

"No. I think even if you didn't have a...problematic life..Blaine would still do all these things for you. And it isn't like you don't take care of him too." Carole reminds him.

"But he takes care of me more. And..and I know I need it. He's sometimes the only person who can get me to think rationally, but I just hate when.._people_..think I'm just being childish. I would do anything not to feel worthless every night. I would do anything not to scream or cry every time I have a nightmare. But it doesn't work that way and I'm trying but some.._people_ don't understand that." Kurt winds up spilling all this information to Carole. Carole stops herself from pulling Kurt into a tight hug because she knows it probably wont be welcome.

"You are far from childish Kurt. You are probably the most mature teenager I know. Anyone who thinks you are childish needs to grow up themselves." Carole assures Kurt and she's glad that got a small smile out of him.

"Thank you." Kurt says.

"No problem." Carole grins at him.

"I should probably call Blaine to apologize." Kurt says as he finished up his food.

"No need. He's out there watching TV with Finn and Burt." Carole tells him.

"Oh, maybe I should wait." Kurt says.

"How about we go watch with them?" She asks with an encouraging smile. After a bit Kurt nods and gets up along with Carole. They were about to leave when Kurt stopped, Carole looked at him curiously.

"I look horrible...i have to cover everything." Kurt says vaguely and Carole knows what he's talking about.

"Kurt you don't have to hide from anyone. We've all seen your bruises. Trust me we don't care." Carole says trying to convince him to not put any make up or scarves on. Kurt hesitates for a while. He takes a few deep breaths and nods. Carole smiles at him and they both leave the room.

To say Burt was surprised when Kurt enters the room was an understatement. Kurt wasn't wearing make up or scarves to cover any wounds. He came out with a small smile. And he came out of his room with Carole. Burt shared a look with Carole and she winked at him with a smile. He couldn't help but smile widely and let out a small smile. _God he loved this woman._

"Hello boys, would you mind if we join you?" Carole asked sweetly.

"Of course." Burt said moving over a bit to make room for Carole. Blaine did the same for Kurt.

"Sorry I yelled at you." Kurt apologized to Blaine in a soft voice. Blaine smiled at him.

"It fine Kurt, I know you weren't angry at me. You just needed to let off some steam." Blaine said with understanding.

"Yes but it still wasn't right." Kurt said with a pout. Blaine looked around and saw everyone looking at the TV. He gave Kurt a soft kiss on the lips and smiled.

"It's okay." Blaine whispers. Blaine turns back to the TV but takes Kurt's hand in his. Kurt just looks at Blaine lovingly, happy he had someone who understood him so much. Neither of them notice Burt and Carole looking at them with smiles on their faces.

"They are such a cute couple." Carole coos.

"They are." Burt agrees. "Now tell me how the hell did you get Kurt out of his room?" She just smirks at him.

"I can't tell you all my secrets Burt." She jokes. Burt rolls his eyes fondly at her. He was so glad Kurt and Carole were getting along so well already.

* * *

><p>Later that day, Blaine headed back to Dalton and everyone was getting ready for bed. Burt went to say goodnight to Kurt and Kurt decided to tell him about his dream from last night.<p>

"You don't need to tell me about your nightmare kiddo." Burt tells him.

"That's the thing. It wasn't a nightmare. It was a dream. A really nice dream." Kurt murmurs. Burt gave him a confused look.

"If it was a nice dream then why did it upset you so much." Burt watched as Kurt tried to stay composed before he began retelling his dream.

"It was a dream about the only good memory I have of her."

...

Kurt remembers having a bad day at school and just hating school so much. He came home with his new clothes messed up and scrapes on his knees. The kids were pushing him around and hurting him. He came home with tears in his eyes and dirt all over his clothes.

"Oh Kurt sweetie! What happened?!" His mother asked as soon as he came through the door. Kurt sniffed.

"These other boys were pushing me around at lunch time. They don't like me." Kurt said sadly. His mom gave him a light hug and kissed his forehead lovingly.

"Come on." She said taking his hand. "Let's get you all cleaned up and then I'll make you something delicious." She said with a smile. Kurt wiped his eyes and smiled back at his mom. He took a bath and put on some new clothes. She cleaned up all of the visible scrapes and took him to the kitchen. She took milk from the refrigerator. She got two mugs and pour milk in them. The she rummaged through the cabinets and pulled out nutmeg, vanilla extract, and sugar. She put the various ingredients in the mugs and stirred.

"What are you doing mommy?" Kurt asked her. She smiled and placed the mugs in the microwave.

"This will probably make you feel better. My mother used to make this for me after I had a bad day." She told him. A minute and 30 seconds later she took out the mugs and handed one to Kurt. "I hope you like it." She smiled. Kurt eyed the drink and took a tentative sip of it.

"You have to make this everyday mommy!" Kurt exclaimed before drinking it some more. Elizabeth chuckled a bit before taking another sip.

"Sure honey, anything for you." She said smiling.

...

"I-i guess it's hard to believe they were the same person." Kurt sighs sadly.

"It is isn't it." Burt agrees.

"I kind of feel like a horrible person for not remembering good moments with her." Kurt laughs bitterly.

"You aren't a horrible person." Burt insists. "And at one point in time, she wasn't a bad person. And it's okay to not want to remember the moments. You just have to accept that everything happened and that she was once someone who loved and cared for you but lost complete control and wasn't that person anymore."

"Do you think I'll be like her?" Burt looked at Kurt in shock.

"No." He said firmly. "You've been on the receiving end of that treatment and I know you would never carry it out."

"You didn't know she would turn out that way." Kurt points out.

"Yes but looking back there were signs." Burt says confidently. "Kurt, the only thing that can compare you two is that you look like she did. But she was always one for giving up, leaving things unfinished, and backing away when things got too difficult. You're nothing like that. You are so determined and so strong that I know you could never change into that person." Kurt lets out a laugh mixed with a sob. He gives his dad a bone crushing hug and Burt returns it.

"Thank you." Kurt murmurs. Burt smiles and kissed the top of his head.

"Get some rest kiddo." Burt says before pulling out of the hug and leaving the room.

* * *

><p>Finn was pacing out side Kurt's room for quiet some time now. It was 2 in the morning and he had school the next day but he couldn't sleep. They house was extremely quiet but his guilt was eating at him all day. He had to apologize. He knocked on Kurt's door three times until he heard a sleepy 'come in'. Finn opened the door slowly and walked inside. Kurt was yawning when he closed the door. Once Kurt turned on the lamp and once his eyes adjusted to the light he looked surprised to see Finn in his room.<p>

"Why are you here?" He asked. Finn was pleasantly surprised he wasn't being screamed at. He kind of deserved it.

"I..I just wanted to..uh apologize for being.." Finn paused looking for a word.

"An asshole?" Kurt suggested. Finn shook his head. "An ignoramus?" Finn's face scrunched up and he shook his head again. "An idiot?" Finn sighed.

"I was thinking of something more nice..like sorry for being a meany?" Finn scratched the back of his head sheepishly. Kurt snorted.

"No you were being an asshole." Kurt said but he still didn't look angry.

"Fine." Finn halfheartedly agreed. "I just have to get used to you. And I could always by some ear plugs so I could sleep." Finn joked. Kurt didn't look really amused. "Look man I'm sorry for calling you a baby. I don't know you like that and I guess it would be easier to understand if I knew more about what you went through." Kurt's eyes softened.

"You are such a jerk sometimes." There isn't any heat to his words. In fact they sounded kind of fond. "But I accept your apology." Kurt says with a small smile. Finn grins brightly.

"Thanks."

"No problem Finn." Kurt said. Finn was about to leave when he paused.

"Hey do you want to have a late night snack with me?" He asked. Kurt laughed and nodded.

* * *

><p>That night Kurt and Finn sat in the living room playing video games until 5 in the morning, only pausing to take sips of the warm milk Kurt made for both of them. Burt and Carole would wake up at 7 to find Kurt and Finn curled up on opposite arms of the couch snoring lightly. They would smile, take a few pictures and they wake them up, holding in laughter as they watched them walk around like zombies from lack of sleep.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>I really hope you enjoyed this chapter! I love writing Finn and Carole! Please leave a review and tell me what you thought!<strong>

**Hint for next chapter: I'm thinking maybe some Finn at McKinley...I want to write more Puck and i'll try and write Rachel. Do you guys like Rachel?I'm not really a fan of Rachel but i'll try and do my best :) Also Kurt has a surprise for you guys next chapter! ;)**


	13. Not so temporary

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry i took so long, I've been sick (like always). Anyways, this is a Finn heavy chapter. I introduce Rachel in this and briefly the New Directions. I was really nervous to write Rachel because i'm not really a fan of hers. But i have to admit she sometimes has her moments where i can see why people love her character. And i always sort of liked Finchel anyways. So I hope you like how i wrote her. (Chapter is kind of short but i still like it.)**

**Also i wanted to answer this question: Question: how far have Klaine gone in the physical relationship if there is any?**

**They haven't had sex but they will eventually (See chapter 11). Just so you know i will not write any smut. I will probably hint at it but i wont write any of it. I'll just say by this stage they've only done things above the belt, and there is a reason for that..but you'll have to bare with me to learn more about that ;)**

**Okay well that's all! Enjoy!**

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><p>After a night of barely any sleep, Finn was nodding off in most of his classes. By the time it was lunch he gained more energy and was more alert.<p>

"Hey you." Finn looked up from where he was putting books in his locker and saw Rachel walking up to him. He leaned down to give her a kiss.

"Hey Rach."

"What was with you earlier? We were discussing something in class and you were falling asleep." Rachel asked him.

"Oh, sorry I was playing video games with Kurt all night." Finn said closing his locker. Rachel gave him a strange look.

"Who's Kurt?" Finn's eyes widened. _Crap, _he thought, _I did not mean to tell her that._

"Did I say Kurt? I-I meant Puck. Yeah Puck and I were playing video games all night." Finn rushed out. Rachel was still looking at him weirdly.

"Puck didn't seem all that tired to me." Rachel said slowly. Finn shifted uncomfortably. He knew there was no way out of this.

"Okay fine, I'll tell you but you have to promise to not tell anyone." Finn stressed the last few words. Rachel gave him a blinding smile.

"I promise!" She said with excitement. So Finn gave her a basic summary of what's been going on. He told her how his mom's boyfriend has a son, how Kurt is gay and really messed up, and how he's been living with Kurt and his dad for the past 2 weeks.

"You cannot tell anyone Rachel. Puck knows already but no one else can know." Finn said urgently. Rachel was a little in shock at what she had just been told.

"Fine, but on one condition." Rachel said eventually. Finn sighed.

"What do you want me to sing with you?" He asked. Rachel smiled and patted his cheek.

"I'm not asking for a song. I want to meet him." She said with a smile. Finn choked on air.

"What?! No!" Finn said immediately, Rachel pouted.

"But Finn! I need to meet everyone in your life. And I want you to meet my dad's."

"But I-"

"Oh my gosh we could have a family dinner!"

"Rach I don't know-"

"This Friday at your house! That would be so amazing!" Rachel babbled on and didn't notice when Finn tried to interrupt. "I'll let my dad's know!" She gave him a kiss and sauntered down the hall leaving Finn there to process what the hell just happened.

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><p>Finn was glad the day was almost over. He walked into Glee club happily, this was always the best part of his day. Except this day was different. In hindsight, he should have known Rachel couldn't keep a secret.<p>

When he walked in everyone was staring at his with surprise. Puck looked sorry for him, Rachel was looking anywhere but at him, Santana looked like she was ready to destroy his whole life with this secret.

"You have a brother?!" Brittany asked excitedly. Finn sighed.

"No, I don't." Finn said simply, taking a seat next to Puck. "What did she tell everyone?" He whispered to Puck.

"She and Quinn got into some kind of an argument. Quinn said something about at least she met your mom and you met her family. Then Rachel got angry and blurted out that you guys were having a joint dinner with your family and her's." Puck recalled. Finn put his head in his hands.

"Do they know..?" Finn asked partially.

"That you're living with a twink that has issues?" Santana cut in. Finn glared at her. "Yes we know." She smirked devilishly.

"I don't know what's so wrong with that Finn. You could have a brother." Tina shrugged, looking at Finn from where she and Mike were sitting at the bottom row of the choir room.

"I agree. Nothing's wrong with that Finn." Mercedes agreed.

"Yeah, but that's according to you guys. Anyone else who finds out will ruin me." Finn says urgently.

"No one's going to tell Finn." Rachel smiled at him. Finn gave her a look that made her smile falter.

"I don't know. We have some people like to sabotage things in this club." Sam said not so subtly gesturing to Quinn, Santana, and Brittany. Quinn rolled her eyes.

"I'm not going to say anything." Quinn said.

"No promises." Santana said. Finn sighed, at least she was honest about it.

"Can we meet him?" Brittany asked. Finn immediately shook his head.

"No!" He exclaimed.

"Why not?" Artie asked.

"One because it doesn't matter. He's not important. It's not even like we're living together permanently. We're going back to my house soon." Finn said exasperated at being questioned.

"I don't know man. How long have you even been there. It's been like 2-3 weeks." Puck told him thinking rationally. "What was even wrong in the first place?"

"They were just doing construction on our house." Finn shrugged. "Nothing major." Everyone gave him a look. "What?"

"Uh Finn, don't you think you would have been home by now if it was something minor?" Mercedes spoke up.

"I-uh...well we didn't have working water so that could take a while right?" Finn stuttered.

"Finn that shouldn't take that long." Artie told him knowingly.

"What are you guys saying?" Finn demanded to know.

"Dude, I don't think you're going home anytime soon." Puck sad solemnly. Finn froze, He vaguely remembered Blaine saying something similar the day before but he hadn't really thought about it. Could he really live with Kurt? Did he want to live with Kurt? What the hell was he going to do?

* * *

><p>Finn went to his temporary home...well what he hoped was still his temporary home, as soon as football practice was out. When he got home he saw Blaine's car in the lot. It wasn't a rare occurrence but still wasn't use to it. He walked inside and dropped his book bag to the floor. He heard voices inside the kitchen and walked towards them. It was Kurt and Blaine, of course, baking something that smelled amazing.<p>

"What are you guys making?" Finn asked, Kurt jumped a bit and Blaine turned back to him.

"Oh hey Finn." Blaine said.

"We are making red velvet cupcakes." Kurt smiled. Finn's mouth watered but then he remembered his mission.

"Can I have one later?" He asked and Kurt nodded. "Cool. Oh where's my mom?" He asked.

"She and my dad are out in the back yard." Kurt told him and Finn decided to pay them a visit. He thanked Kurt and slowly went on his way to the backyard. The doorway to the backyard was already open and he heard voices from outside.

"This would be a nice spot for a garden." He heard his mother say. Burt hummed in response.

"That would be nice. Except I don't know a damn thing about flowers." Burt replied. He heard his mother laugh.

"That's why you have me around." She told him. It was silent for a while.

"So you're serious about this?" Burt asked. Finn wondered what he was talking about.

"Yes. I think we're ready for this Burt." She said.

"How do you think Finn will take it?" Burt asked. Carole sighed.

"I don't know." She answered. "How do you think Kurt will take it?"

"He'll say he wont mind but its going to take even more getting use to." Burt said."We'll talk to them about it in a few weeks."

"I'm surprised Finn, didn't figure the house was done yet." Carole said in a low whisper. Finn's jaw dropped.

"I'm sure he'll be okay with it. He's warming up to Kurt and Kurt's warming up to him." Burt said with certainty.

"I hope this is the right decision." Carole said. Finn shook his head, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. They were moving in permanently.

* * *

><p>At dinner Finn tried to eat as fast as he can so he could just go to his room and sulk about how his life was now officially over.<p>

"Finn, Rachel called earlier. She was talking about a family dinner?" Carole said eventually, to catch Finn's attention.

"Oh, yeah she wanted to meet you guys and wanted me to meet her family." Finn said in between bites of food.

"Sounds like a good idea." Carole said before turning to Burt.

"You okay with this Kurt?" Burt asked. Kurt was about to open his mouth when Finn answered for him.

"You can totally go to Blaine's house or whatever dude." Finn said hoping Kurt would rather want to go to Blaine's.

"I think I'll be okay. You met Blaine, it's only fair I meet Rachel right?" Kurt said with a smile.

"I think it will be fun. All of us together. Kind of like a big family." Carole smiled. Finn froze at the word family.

He always saw he and his mom as a family he guessed. Just a sort of broken one. But he looked around at the table and there was Burt who was really awesome. He wouldn't mind having him as a dad. And then there was Kurt. Kurt who was pretty cool once you guy passed the whole terrified of his dead mother who abused him thing. Kurt who was gay with a boyfriend who was admittedly also pretty cool. Kurt who was trying more than he was too make this whole living arrangement work. Kurt would be his brother one day. Maybe. But..no one else would understand. They would all see that Kurt was gay and because Finn liked living with him, he was gay too. And no matter how nice having two broken families come together sounded, he couldn't have people think that about him.

"Uh...Rachel d-doesn't want t-to meet Kurt." Finn blurted out. Kurt immediately flinched as if Finn had actually slapped him. Carole's eyes widened and Burt looked angry.

"What? Why not?" She asked.

"She wants it just to be her parents and well you two. Not Kurt.." Finn tried to make a reason as fast as he could. He could see Kurt growing smaller and smaller in his chair.

"I'm sure she didn't mean it that way." Burt said after a beat. But Kurt was already out of his seat, smiling.

"It's okay dad. I could just spend the day with Blaine and his family." Kurt said smiling despite the tears welling in his eyes. Finn wanted to do something, he really did but this was how it had to be, right?

"Kurt, sweetie-" Carole started but Kurt shook his head.

"No- really it's okay. I've spent most of my life in a place where I wasn't wanted." He voice cracked. "Why should I put myself through that again?" Kurt said pushing in his chair and walking out of the kitchen. He stopped in the door way and turned back. "I hope you guys have a nice dinner that night, because god forbid having me there would ruin _Rachel's_ reputation." And that's when Finn realized, in horror, that Kurt had been on the phone with Rachel. And that Kurt knew Finn didn't want him there. And that Kurt had a whole list of reasons to hate him. And that Kurt was too nice for his own good because he could have ratted him out right then.

But he didn't.

* * *

><p>Rachel called him that night. He didn't answer the first time, but he knew she would call again. He knew she knew that he was still up at this time either playing video games or watching TV.<p>

"Hey Rach."

"So I talked to Kurt today." She said. And he could hear the excitement in her voice. "He's really sweet."

"He is.." Finn said simply.

"He was really happy to be included in the family dinner." Rachel went on. "He told me it meant a lot you told me about him."

"H-he did?" Finn asked quietly. She hummed in the affirmative.

"I told him that for the safety of your reputation you had only told me...i kind of left out the part where I told everyone else-again I'm sorry for that-" She said sheepishly.

"I know you aren't the best at keeping secrets." Finn laughed a little and so did she.

"You know just because some people don't understand something, doesn't mean that to someone else that something isn't great." She said quietly. Finn sighed.

"Rach-" He started but she cut him off.

"My dad's are gay Finn. I may not know directly how Kurt feels, but indirectly it hurts when you aren't like everyone else. But also at the same time it's great because you're different. You can deal with being different and everyone else is scared of it."

"Listen. I have no problem with Kurt. He's great..but.." Finn stopped at loss for words.

"Everyone else does.." Rachel found them for him.

"Yeah..." He said shortly. Rachel was quiet for a bit.

"Don't let what everyone else thinks about someone, dampen your views of them. You're better than that." Rachel told him. "Goodnight Finn."

"Goodnight Rachel." And the call ended. Finn sat there thinking over what Rachel had just said. Thinking over what he had done to Kurt. And thinking over that they were never going to be a family if he continued to care about what everyone else thought of him. Could he do that?

Well that night as he listened to Kurt's muffled sobs as he walked passed his door, he thought that maybe, just for Kurt, he would try.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you like this chapter! I'm already working on the next! Please tell me what you thought of this chapter with a review :)<strong>

**Hint for next chapter: (I know i said Kurt has a surprise but i decided it could wait for a while) Next chapter Kurt will be in it a lot more. We'll see dinner with the Berry family. And maybe more Puck because i think he's awesome.**

**Also quick question: Is there any Kurt friendship you guys want to see (involving ND)? I like Kurtcedes and Kurtana, but i'm open for suggestions!**


	14. Coming around

**A/N: Here's the next chapter! Sorry for posting so late! Just came back from a weekend without Wi-fi. Anyways I hope you like this chapter. I know a lot of you were angry at Finn, but hopefully you wont be anymore :) Also, a lot of you guys wanted Puck and Kurt friendship, so i hope this chapter fulfills your wishes!**

**Enjoy! **

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><p>The rest of that week Kurt tried as hard as he could to avoid Finn, which was hard because he lived with the guy. So after school he just choose to either hang out at Dalton with the guys or go to the mall.<p>

"Meeting adjourned." Kurt jumped a little as Wes banged his gavel on the desk. He sort of spaced out the last few minuted of Warblers practice. He has to go because they all consider him a member even though he doesn't sing anymore. Kurt got up and joined his group of friends as all the other boys panned out.

"Are you guys going to stay for the mid year auditions?" Wes asked.

"When I joined you said you usually don't do mid year auditions." Kurt said with a playful glare.

"Blaine sort of begged us." David said with a smirk. Blaine looked sheepish.

"I did not beg." Blaine scoffed.

"Oh Wes please! I need to hear his beautiful voice! Everything else about him is beautiful, so his voice must be beautiful too!" Jeff mocked. Blaine blushed and glared at his friends. Kurt grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

"Anyways." Kurt said pointedly, wanting to take the subject off his voice. "Why are you doing them this time?"

"Some new transfer students wanted to audition and a few people who didn't make it in last year want to try again." Nick told Kurt.

"Oh, okay. Well I'll just head out. I think I'll go to the mall or something." Kurt said backing away but Blaine held on to his hand.

"Baby, you don't have to leave." Blaine said with a sad smile.

"I'm not part of the Warblers." Kurt said causing all the other boys to roll their eyes.

"You will always be part of the Warblers Kurt." Wes said.

"You know what I mean." Kurt said pointedly.

"Just because you don't sing anymore doesn't mean you aren't a member Kurt." Nick said with a smile.

"It also doesn't mean you'll never sing again." Jeff added. Kurt looked away at that.

"I think I'll just go. Call me when you're done?" Kurt asked Blaine.

"I will." Blaine said before briefly kissing Kurt. Kurt left with the boys looking over at him worried.

* * *

><p>Kurt was about to leave Dalton when he realized that he told his dad Blaine would drive him home. He swore to himself while he check his pockets hoping he had enough money to take the bus. He looked up and he saw a confused blonde girl looking at the school.<p>

"Uh..hello. Are you lost?" He asked her. She looked at him and nodded.

"Yeah, Sam told me to stay hear while he looks for the Warblers, but jokes on him because birds are usually outside." She whispered the last part as if it were a secret. Kurt gaped at her for a second before he realized that there was a spy in the school. He quickly shot a text to Blaine warning him just in case.

"Oh...so you're spying?" Kurt said nonchalantly. She nodded happily.

"Yeah, it was Puck's idea!" She said proudly. Kurt's eyes widened. No, he thought, it couldn't be. He heard Finn always play video games at night with someone named Puck.

"Um..what's you're name?" He asked when he realized she hadn't mentioned it.

"Brittany Pierce." She said with a smile.

"I'm Kurt Hummel." He greeted. "Brittany, this may sound weird but.." He paused. "Do you know Finn Hudson?" She nodded enthusiastically.

"Yeah! Wait you said your name is Kurt right?!" She asked. "Oh my gosh you're his dolphin brother!" Kurt gaped at her.

"I-I'm his what?" He asked baffled.

"Dolphin's are just gay sharks." She stated as if he was supposed to know that.

"Okay..." He drawled. "Anyways, we aren't brothers. He wouldn't want to be my brother anyways." He mumbled the last sentence bitterly.

"Why not? You're so hot." Brittany shrugged. Kurt's cheeks turned an embarrassed shade of red and he laughed.

"Um thanks? But I don't think that has anything to do with Finn." Kurt said.

"Do you want to make out? I have a perfect record at my school. You could help me get a perfect record for all of Ohio." She said randomly. Kurt didn't know why he was still humoring her but the girl was interesting.

"No thanks. I have a boyfriend." Kurt said. She shrugged.

"He can watch." She offered. Kurt chuckled and shook his head.

"I'll pass Brittany. Wouldn't you just want one special person to kiss?" He asked her.

"I already have Santana's special lady kisses." Kurt sensed there was a story there but he didn't think he'd get much information from her.

"Okay...well why don't you call you friend so you can get home?" He asked her.

"Can we go get him?" She asked him with a pout. Kurt smiled at her and laughed. The girl was really confusing but she was hilarious and charming as well.

"Sure." He relented, and was surprised by the hug she gave him. It took him a while to realize that he hadn't had a girl as a friend since he's been at Dalton. The hug was oddly comforting.

"Come on!" She said linking their hands and dragging him into the building. He followed her for a while but then began directing her towards where the senior commons room was. He noticed an unfamiliar blonde boy in a fake uniform snooping around, getting too close to the room.

"SAM! I'M OVER HERE!" Brittany shouted, causing her friend to jump.

"Brittany! I told you to wait outside!" The guy said coming over to her. "Who is this?" He pointed to Kurt.

"I'm someone who actually goes to this school." He said with a smirk.

"Look man, I'm sorry! I wasn't really going to spy." Sam claimed. Kurt raised an eyebrow.

"Sure.." He said with disbelief.

"Okay fine I was but I didn't want to." Sam defended himself.

"Sam, this is Finn's not brother." Brittany interrupted. Sam's eyes widened.

"Crap. Dude, Finn had nothing to do with this!" Sam said urgently.

"I know. It was your friend Puck." Kurt said remembering what Brittany had said earlier. "Now, it was nice meeting you both but I really think you should leave."

"Yeah, come on Brit. Lets go find Puck." He said.

"Come with us!" Brittany said to Kurt.

"I have to get home." Kurt said but then realized he still had to take the long trip on the bus.

"Pleeeaaase?" She said with the same convincing pout. Kurt sighed dramatically.

"I guess I can come for a bit." He had taken a strange liking to this girl. The three all walked out of Dalton together. They made it to the parking lot where a kid with a Mohawk was waiting outside of a car.

"Who the hell is this?" The guy, Puck, asked.

"The guy Finn lives with." Sam answered for him. Puck looked at them incredulously.

"Of all people you had to run into the fairy?" Kurt flinched at his words.

"Puck." Sam in a pointed tone.

"Kurt's my unicorn." Brittany told him. Kurt gave her a look.

"I thought I was a dolphin." Kurt murmured.

"You are. But you are a unicorn too. You're special, I can sense it. Lord Tubbington predicted I'll meet a magical creature today." Brittany said, giving Kurt a kiss on the cheek. Kurt had no idea what anything she said meant but just went along with it.

"Brittany. Sam. Let's go." Puck said.

"Can we take Kurt?" Brittany asked. Puck got in the car and sighed.

"Whatever." He said. Brittany dragged Kurt in the car and Sam got in the passengers seat.

"Turn on the radio!" She demanded. Puck sighed but he turned it on. The radio began blasting music loudly. Brittany squealed and began singing.

"Kurt sing with me!" She demanded. Kurt shook his head.

"I don't sing anymore." He told her.

"Why not?" She asked him. Kurt visibly stiffened.

"I don't really talk about it." He said trying to steer the conversation away from him.

"Can you give me a hint?" She pleaded. Kurt urged himself to stay calm but his hands were shaking. Puck was watching him in the mirror.

"Britt drop it. He doesn't want to talk about it." Puck said. Kurt gave him a surprised look and Brittany went back to singing. Before he knew it they were in a mall in Lima, where Brittany, Sam and Puck were supposed to meet their friends. They all hopped out of the car.

"Thanks for that." Kurt said once Brittany and Sam were out of earshot.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Puck said feigning ignorance.

"So you put a front by calling me a fairy, although I can assure you I am not a magical creature even though your friend would beg to differ." Puck actually huffed out a laugh at that. "Then you help me with Brittany. What's with that?" Kurt asked and Puck sighed.

"Listen, I don't have a problem with you. I mean the more gays, the more chicks for me right?" Puck said. Kurt pinched the bridge of his nose. "But if you start hitting one me.."

"I have a boyfriend." Kurt said, cutting him off.

"Doesn't stop me from hitting on girls, why should it stop you?" Puck asked with a shrug.

"Because I love my boyfriend and I'm not a man whore." Kurt answered. Puck smirked.

"Okay seriously. If you were in a room filled with men hotter than me, even though that cannot be possible," Kurt snorted. "and they were drooling over you, you would just say 'oh sorry, I love my boyfriend.'?" Puck asked.

"Someone's finally catching on." Kurt said sarcastically. Puck laughed and shook his head.

"Alright, you're pretty okay." Puck said as if he were admitting it to himself.

"What about reputation and the football team?" Kurt said in a mocking voice that Puck guessed was supposed to be Finn.

"Look Finn's my best friend. And it's my fault he cares about that stuff. I'll talk to him for you." Puck told him. "He feels really bad about what he's been saying for you...he thinks you're like a mine."

"A mine?" Kurt asked him.

"You know like a land mine. They are hidden and you never know when you're going to hit one. Then out of nowhere it just explodes in your face."

"That's what she said." Kurt said. He should really stop hanging out with Wes and David so much.

"Dude." Puck held out his fist. Kurt rolled his eyes but bumped his fist with Puck's anyways.

"Anyways." Kurt said. "I have reasons for being...a land mine as you put it."

"Finn's kind of...a defective time bomb. He takes a while to get things but when he gets it.." Puck said.

"Kaboom?" Kurt asked.

"Exactly." Puck said.

* * *

><p>Before long Puck was dropping Kurt off at his house.<p>

"I think I'll go talk some sense into your brother." Puck said as he stepped out of the car.

"One, he's not my brother." Kurt began. Puck snorted.

"Dude, Finn's house is fine. If this whole thing were temporary, he would have been back home." Puck told him. Kurt thought about it for a second, he didn't even know what exactly was wrong with their house in the first place. Wow, he thought, they really are moving in.

"Oh.." Kurt said quietly.

"Come on Porcelain, lets get you inside." Puck said. Kurt scrunched up his face at the nickname.

"Porcelain? Seriously?" Kurt asked dryly.

"It's either that or lady." Puck shrugged. Kurt sighed.

"I'll take Porcelain." Kurt said as he unlocked the door letting them both in. Finn was on the couch watching TV.

"Hey Kurt." Finn said without looking back.

"Hey man." Puck said instead of letting Kurt talk. Finn whipped around and his jaw dropped.

"Wh-what? How? Why?" He stammered.

"Long story bro. But all I'll say is Kurt's not bad for a gay dude." Puck said.

"That was almost sweet." Kurt mumbled. Finn was still looking at them with shock.

"Are you sure you aren't Blaine dressed up as Puck, trying to mess with my head?" Finn asked. Kurt snorted.

"Blaine is like 5 inches shorter than Puck." Kurt said. "Your friends came to spy on the Warblers today but I stopped them."

"Dude I'm so sorry!" Finn apologized. Kurt waved it off.

"Thanks to you I made a few new friends." Kurt said with a small smile. "Now I'm going to go take a nap. Wake me up when my dad gets home." Kurt said before walking away towards his room. Puck hopped on the couch next to Finn. They were quiet for a while.

"Did he seduce you or something?" Finn asked.

"Dude! Come on, even I'm not that much of an asshole to assume he'll do something like that." Puck said. "What's up?" Finn sighed.

"You haven't been to the last few football practices. The guys know and they're assuming stuff about me." Finn said.

"Finn they don't know Porcelain."

"Porcelain?" Finn questioned.

"Have you looked at the kid?" Puck asked before shaking his head and getting back on track. "Listen, half the guys on the football team are jerks. They put Artie in the port-a-potty the other day. We used to be like that, but we aren't anymore. I'm still badass but I want to be more than that. We are juniors now, soon we'll be out of this stupid town. If we keep acting like what we are in high school is how we are always going to be, we're going to be working for one of the kids we thought we were better than. And I don't want that. And you shouldn't either." Puck told him. Finn just sat there and Puck sighed.

"Tomorrow if any of the guys say something to you, I'll kick their asses. But I'll kick your ass if you don't grow a pair and stop being an ass to Kurt." Puck told him. Finn chuckled.

"I should go apologize right now." Finn said. Puck patted his back.

"I'll head out." Puck said heading for the door.

"Puck." Finn called. Puck stopped and looked back at him. "Thanks man."

"We're bros." Puck shrugged and left. Finn smiled to himself and headed to Kurt's room. He was about to knock when he heard some soft singing.

_Something has changed within me  
>Something is not the same<br>I'm through with playing by the rules  
>Of someone else's game<br>Too late for second-guessing  
>Too late to go back to sleep<br>It's time to trust my instincts  
>Close my eyes... and leap!<em>

_It's time to try  
>Defying gravity<br>I think I'll try  
>Defying gravity<br>Kiss me goodbye  
>I am defying gravity<br>And you wont bring me down!_

Finn had called Blaine by the forth line of the song. He held the phone up to the door and stayed silent. Kurt kept on singing but stopped before the last line. Finn only knew the song because Rachel would brag about how she's the master at that song. Right now Finn would beg to differ. Finn held the phone to his ear after and walked away from the door.

"You heard that?" Finn asked him.

"Yeah." Blaine's voice sounded horse and tearful. "Yeah I did. Thank you, Finn."

"No problem dude."

"He can hit that last note you know? It's just the most amazing thing when he does." Blaine said. Finn nodded, although Blaine couldn't see him.

"Why doesn't he sing?" Finn asked curiously.

"His mom didn't like it when he did. She..uh..she beat the crap out of him because of it." Blaine admitted. Finn felt like punching a wall.

"I-I just don't understand-"Finn whispered.

"Me neither." Blaine agreed. They were both silent for a while.

"I-uh I'm gonna go talk to him." Finn said.

"Good. Are you going to stop being a jerk?" Blaine asked without any real heat to his tone.

"I'll try." Finn said with a small smile.

"Good luck." Blaine said.

"Thanks, I'll need it." Finn said before hanging up. He placed his phone down and headed to Kurt's room once again. He knocked on the door twice but there was no answer.

"Kurt?" He called out. But still no answer. He opened the door and Kurt was on the floor rocking back and forth.

"Kurt? Are you okay man?" Finn asked him concerned. Kurt didn't seem to hear him. He was shaking hard. Finn walked closer to him, he was scared out of his mind and didn't know what to do.

"Kurt? Man seriously I don't know what to do!" Finn exclaimed. Finn paced back and forth before finally moving to sit next to Kurt and hesitantly pulling Kurt in his arms. He then heard Kurt was mumbling something.

"She's going to kill me." He said over and over. Finn shivered at how serious he sounded.

"Kurt. She's not here." Finn said quietly. But Kurt continued to shake and mumble to himself.

"Kurt, you're safe. She's never coming back dude." Finn said and he just continued to say words he hoped were comforting for what felt like hours.

"T-thank you Finn." Kurt said after a while.

"You scared the crap out of me dude." Finn said.

"Every time I try to sing again...i can never make it through the full song. I just go back to that moment where she forced me to stop and it messes me up." Kurt confessed. Although Finn didn't know that entire story, he got the gist of it.

"But you're really good. You can't let that stop you." Finn tried to encourage him. Kurt moved away from Finn to give them both some space.

"I wish it was that easy." Kurt said with a sigh. "I'm sorry that I'm the reason people are bothering you in school." Kurt murmured. Finn looked at him with wide eyes.

"You heard that?" Kurt nodded. "Dude, it's not your fault. Lima is just full of homophobic people, and I was trying to be like them because when you're popular, it kind of feels like you're invincible. But I don't want to be like that, it's not who I am. I'm gonna make mistakes like all the time but I want you to know I'm trying. I really like it if you'd come to the family dinner on Friday." Finn told Kurt. Kurt gave him a surprised smile.

"Really?" He asked.

"Yep, and bring Blaine too." Kurt couldn't help but to hug Finn. Finn was surprised but hugged back.

"You are a time bomb." Kurt mumbled.

"What was that?" Finn asked, not hearing what Kurt said. Kurt shook his head.

"Nothing, come on. I'm gonna teach you how to cook. That way my dad and Carole will come home to dinner." Kurt said getting up.

"Cooking is easy. All you have to do it throw stuff in pots and put things in the oven." Finn said with a scoff. He would later burn most of the chicken Kurt put him in charge of. Then he would burn himself and beg Kurt to just order take out. Later on, when Burt and Carole come home, they would be pleasantly surprised at Finn and Kurt playing video games again like they were best friends.

"I guess they made up?" Carole asked as they go to the kitchen to get away from the loudness of the video games.

"I guess they did." Burt grunted. "Finally. I thought I would have to just lock them in a room together until they talked."

"I guess we can tell them sooner about us moving in then." Carole said with a small smile.

"We can tell them after dinner on Friday. But for some reason I think they've finally figured it out." Burt smiled back. And he was right, they had.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you guys liked this chapter! Let me know what you guys thought with a review! I also hope i wrote Brittany well, I liked writing her and Puck. Sam, I'm still trying to figure out how to write. I also will incorporate more friendships later on.<strong>

**And now you guys have no reason to be mad at Finn! He's coming around quickly! **

**Hint for next chapter: Dinner with the Berry's (for real this time). And i was thinking about some Klaine angst...do you guys mind having Sebastian in this fic? I'm still mulling it over.**


	15. Working things out

**A/N: Hey guys! A lot of you guys hate Sebastian I've noticed! Well good news for you is that he isn't in this chapter. I found another way to focus on Klaine angst while bringing in some flashbacks. It's really not too much angst. Anyways i can't promise Sebastian wont be in this fic but for now he isn't. So i hope you enjoy this chapter. It's the longest so far (and the hardest one for me so far.)**

**Enjoy!**

**Warnings: A little bit of violence in the beginning and an overload of sweetness and fluff at the end.**

* * *

><p>"<em>Mom p-put t-t-that down!"Kurt cried desperately. His vision was hazy and it hurt to breathe. His blood was staining the carpet and his mother was standing above him with a bat in hand. At this point he didn't remember nor care where it came from, but instead accepted the fact that he was probably going to die.<em>

"_It's over Kurt. Just let it happen." She said stoically. She hit him over the head with the bat hard. Kurt fell to the floor but forced himself to keep consciousness._

"_M-mom...p-pl-please.." He whispered. She bent down and turned him over until he was facing her._

"_It's time sweetie, aren't you glad it's finally over." She spoke sweetly but her words and the blood on her hands betrayed her motive._

"_N-n-no...p-please don't do th-this." Kurt whimpered. She slapped him hard._

"_It has to be done." She said before standing up, lifting the bat and-_

Kurt gasped as he woke up. He covered his mouth to silence his inevitable sobs. He's been having this dream for the past two days. Every time he closes his eyes it feels as if he was right back in that moment. He hasn't told anyone he's been having this nightmare. Not even Blaine. In fact he's been snapping at or ignoring just about everyone. He's afraid if he lets his guard down for even a second he'll break. But he didn't want to cry, he didn't want to relive that moment again. Which is probably why Blaine wasn't speaking to him at the moment.

It happened the day after Finn apologized. Kurt had the nightmare for the first time in a while. The next day at school Kurt was nodding off in his classes and even Warblers practice.

"Kurt. Kurt wake up baby." Blaine nudged him gently. It was the end of the day and everyone else had already left the room. Kurt shot up as if someone had pour cold water all over him. "What's going on why are you so sleepy and jumpy today?" Blaine asked him.

"It's none of your business Blaine." Kurt had snapped. He noticed the immediate look of hurt on Blaine's face but he was too tired and too angry at himself to take it back.

"I just want to make sure you're okay." Blaine said calmly.

"I'm fine would you just leave me alone." Kurt snapped. Blaine raised an eyebrow at him.

"Okay..what's with your attitude?" Blaine asked beginning to get angry himself. Kurt groaned.

"I already said it's none of your business. Now, drop it." Kurt told him, and began to gather his stuff and walk away.

"What's wrong with you today? Did you have a nightmare or something." Blaine asked him not letting it go.

"I said drop it." Kurt rose his voice. "I don't have to tell you everything, just fuck off." Kurt said and that's what caused him to snap out it. His mouth dropped at his own words and Blaine was frozen in his spot, looking incredibly hurt. "Blaine I-I didn't mean that." Kurt tried to backtrack.

"I...I think I'll just head home today." Blaine said eventually. Kurt grabbed his arm so he wouldn't leave.

"Please, no. I'm sorry!" Kurt apologized. He always seemed to take things out on other people when he kept things inside. Blaine gently pulled away.

"When you learn not to take things out on me, I'll be ready to listen. But it hurts like hell when you try and push me away. I just need some time alone right now." Blaine said looking a Kurt. He didn't smile but he didn't look angry. It was impossible to read what was going on in Blaine's head, which was rare because Blaine wore his heart on his sleeve. Kurt let Blaine walk away, when he was sure he was gone Kurt just got angrier at himself. He and Blaine didn't fight often. If they did Blaine would always stay calm and try to talk it out with him. But this time was different. He realized he'd almost always take things out on Blaine and then just apologize. He was such a horrible boyfriend.

* * *

><p>That was Wednesday. It was now Friday and they haven't had a proper conversation since then. Kurt didn't even know if Blaine was still coming to dinner that night. Kurt sighed and looked at his clock. It was only 3 o'clock at night. He stared up at his ceiling. He should have apologized again, or at least try to make things better. But it seemed like the only way to do that was to tell Blaine about the nightmare. He had snapped at his friends when they asked him what was going on with him and Blaine yesterday.<p>

"It's nothing." He tried to brush it off.

"Bullshit. You look like you haven't slept in a week. Blaine is ignoring you and you aren't doing anything about it." Wes said aware that Blaine was just at the end of the table, probably hearing everything we were saying.

"I didn't do anything okay. We're fine." Kurt lied straight through his teeth. The whole table got quiet when Blaine stood up and left the lunchroom. They all then turned to Kurt in confusion. Kurt got up to follow Blaine, who was walking to the Senior Commons.

"Blaine! Please talk to me." Kurt pleaded. Blaine didn't turn around.

"You know why I'm mad at you." Blaine said simply.

"If you'd just give me a chance to talk, instead of just overreacting." Again Kurt can't seem to say anything right. Blaine looked back and shook his head at him.

"Calm down and then maybe we can talk." Blaine said before leaving again.

* * *

><p>Kurt got out of bed and threw on sweatpants and a T-shirt. He laced up his sneakers and zipped up his hoodie and quietly left his room. He went to Finn's room and knocked on the door. He heard a groan and eventually we greeted by a yawning Finn.<p>

"Video games again? Dude I know you're starting to get good in COD but this is getting ridiculous." Finn said while sleepily rubbing his eyes. Kurt rolled his eyes at Finn.

"This isn't about- Wait I've been getting better?" Kurt asked getting sidetracked.

"Totally dude you were killing it." Finn smiled

"Awesome I've been working on-" Kurt stopped before remembering what he came here for. "Listen I need you to drive me somewhere."

"What? It's the middle of the night!" Finn said looking at Kurt like he was insane.

"Yes, please. I'll owe you one." Kurt pleaded. Finn sighed.

"Fine, just let me change." Finn said as he shuffled back into his room. Within fifteen minutes they were outside of the house in Finn's car.

"So where are we going?" Finn asked after starting the car.

"Blaine's house." Kurt informed him. Finn gave him another look.

"Seriously? Isn't he angry at you? And isn't his house kind of far?" Finn asked him, but began driving anyways.

"I need to see him Finn. In school he can easily avoid me and he always leaves before I can talk to him. Every time I try to fix it I just say the wrong thing. I hate waking up knowing that he's mad at me." Kurt admits. Finn glances at him sadly.

"Sorry man. But couples fight. Rachel gets angry at me a lot." Finn tells Kurt.

"And how do you get her to talk to you again?" Kurt asks.

"Usually I just sing a song in Glee." Finn shrugs. "That's what everyone does. Then she isn't as mad and then we work out our problems afterward."

"I keep trying to talk to him but I just mess thing up." Kurt sighed.

"What did you even do?" Finn asked curiously.

"I've been pushing him away because I didn't want to talk about something. I was being an asshole to him for no reason and I told him to fuck off. I didn't mean to, I usually tell Blaine everything but this is just too painful." Kurt says in a small voice. At the next red light Finn squeezes his shoulder in comfort.

"He loves you. You just need to find something else to take your frustrations out on." Finn tells Kurt, not even really sure if he's helping or not.

"Like what?" Kurt asked.

"I don't know. You like shopping. So every time you feel angry or frustrated go on shopping rampage." Finn suggested, knowing it would get a laugh out of Kurt.

"You're crazy." Kurt shook his head. "Thanks for doing this for me." Kurt smiled at Finn.

"No problem dude. But how do you think you'll even get into Blaine's house without waking anyone up?" Finn asked.

"Because I texted Cooper to let me in the house." Kurt smirked. Finn chuckled.

"Wait..how come he isn't mad at you for making Blaine mad?" Finn asked. Kurt shrugged.

"Cooper and I are close. And he knows Blaine and I are it for each other, so I think he trusts me to fix things." Kurt answered.

"How do you know Blaine's the one? I mean it's high school. I really like Rachel but who knows what could happen." Finn wondered. Kurt didn't answer for a while.

"I just know. I wasn't always sure. But if someone sticks with you through panic attacks, nightmares, and almost being beaten to death, I think that person is in it for the long haul." Kurt said jokingly but it was true. "We're both each others first relationship, and I know there are other people out there but I don't want anyone else. There's no one who knows me or treats me as well as Blaine does, and I hope soon Blaine could say the same again." Kurt says softly.

"He already can say the same." Finn assures him. Soon enough they are arriving at Blaine's house. Cooper is outside the house waiting for them. Finn and Kurt both get out of the car.

"Hey Coop." Kurt says kind of nervously.

"I'm not mad at you Kurt." Cooper said coming to give Kurt a hug. "He's in his music room so if there is any yelling you guys it's sound proof. And if there is anything else I hid some condoms and other things in the empty guitar case." Cooper winked. Kurt's cheeks turned red and Finn laughed.

"Cooper." Kurt groaned. Cooper chuckled.

"Go get him, I'll keep Finn here company." Cooper said. It was the first time they had met each other but Kurt talked a lot about both of them. Kurt nodded and went into the house. He went down to the basement where the music room was. Blaine was sitting at his piano playing a soothing melody. Kurt just leaned against the wall and stared for a bit. He always loved watching Blaine play.

"You should be sleep." Kurt eventually says, startling Blaine. Blaine turned and was surprised to see Kurt there.

"Kurt." Blaine breathes. "What are you doing here?" He asks. Kurt thinks about stepping forward but stays in his spot.

"I can't sleep knowing you're mad at me." Kurt tells him honestly. Blaine looks away for a moment before meeting Kurt's eye. He stays silent and gives Kurt time to speak.

"I'm so sorry Blaine. I've been such a jerk. I always take things out on you that don't have anything to do with you, and I shouldn't be doing that. It's not right." Kurt says moving closer to Blaine but not close enough to touch even though that's desperately what he wants to do. Blaine still stays silent.

"I've never done anything but try to help you when you aren't doing well, why can't you tell me what's going on?" Blaine asks him. "I'm not pushing for it, I just want to know why and we can just put this whole fight in the past."

"I-I want to tell you. I really do." Kurt says, his voice shaking. "But it's too hard sometimes. It hurts too much and it just reminds me how...h-how much I wanted her just to kill me quick instead of slow and painful." Kurt admits to Blaine.

"I..I know it must be hard to relive it. But every moment after you tell me something like that I'll spend helping you deal with it and helping you remember you survived for a reason." Blaine tells him. Kurt looks at him with watery eyes.

"I'm so sorry Blaine. I didn't mean to hurt you at all." Kurt says. Blaine finally gets up and pulls Kurt into a hug.

"It's okay." Blaine says but Kurt shakes his head.

"No, it isn't. I'm just like her. I'm taking things out on people that don't deserve it. I'm no better than her." Kurt says quietly.

"Stop that!" Blaine says immediately. "Stop comparing yourself to her. That's your problem. You are so hard on yourself because you don't want to be like her and you don't want to be reminded of her. So you close yourself off and it makes you snap at everyone. You need to accept the fact that this isn't going to be easy Kurt, the more you hold things in, the more it will hurt." Blaine's words hit home for Kurt and he immediately latches onto Blaine and sobs. Soon enough he's telling Blaine about the dream and how often he's been having it.

"I'm so sorry Blaine." Kurt says again. "I was the one overreacting."

"Shhhh, it's okay." Blaine quiets him.

"How can you keep saying it's okay? I was horrible." Kurt asks him with disbelief. Blaine cups Kurt's cheek gently and kisses him softly.

"You were scared." He mumbled against his lips before kissing him again. "It's understandable and I'd never hold that against you."

"How are you real?" Kurt wondered out loud before pressing his lips back to Blaine's. They kiss for a while before realizing they are both sort of tired.

"You should go home. How did you get here?" Blaine asked Kurt.

"Finn drove me. He's upstairs with Cooper." Kurt said. They both go upstairs to see Finn asleep on the couch. Cooper was on his laptop sitting on the next couch. He looked up and smiled when he saw Kurt and Blaine with their hands intertwined.

"You guys finally made up." Cooper spoke low as to not wake Finn. "Finn here knocked out 20 minutes ago."

"I should wake him up, my dad doesn't know I left." Kurt whispered. Cooper shook his head.

"I called him and told him what was going on. You can sleep here tonight." Cooper said. "But Burt said no funny business." Both boys blushed a deep red, causing Cooper to stifle laughter. Blaine and Kurt decide to ignore him and go upstairs to Blaine's room. They got into Blaine's bed together. Blaine threw his arms around Kurt's waist and snuggled into his neck.

"Ready for dinner tonight?" Blaine asked.

"Yeah, I think so. It'll be harder for Finn, because he's meeting the parents." Kurt said.

"Remember meeting my parents?" Blaine asked. Kurt did.

...

_Kurt got out of Blaine's car nervously. He was about to meet his boyfriends parents. He was terrified that they wouldn't like him._

"_Kurt?" Kurt snapped out of his daze. "Are you okay?" Blaine asked._

"_I-I'm okay...i just want your parents to like me." Kurt told Blaine. Blaine kissed his cheek and smiled._

"_They will don't worry." Blaine tried to cease his worries but it didn't really work. They went into the house hand in hand._

"_Mom, dad, We're home!" Blaine called out._

"_We're in the kitchen!" Another voice called out. Kurt assumed it was Blaine's mother. They walked slowly to the kitchen, Kurt looking around and admiring the beautiful décor._

"_Mom. Dad. This is Kurt Hummel, my boyfriend." Blaine said proudly. "Kurt these are my parents, Andrea and Simon." Blaine's dad stepped forward and held out his hand to Kurt and Kurt nervously shook it._

"_It's nice to finally meet you Kurt." Simon said with a warm smile._

"_I-It's nice t-to meet you too sir." Kurt stuttered._

"_Call me Simon." Simon laughs patting Kurt on the shoulder._

"_Oh Blaine pictures do not do him justice." Andrea gushed as she hugged Kurt. Kurt's cheeks were burning and he was caught off guard by the hug but accepted._

"_Mom, you're embarrassing me already!" Blaine groaned._

"_Oh get used to it sweetie, we haven't even shown him your baby photos yet." Andrea teased. Kurt giggled at them._

"_Come on, you boys must be hungry."Simon said gesturing them to come further in the kitchen and sit. Dinner was amazing and Kurt found himself fitting in nicely with Blaine's family. They made him wish he never had to go home where there probably wouldn't even be any dinner made or any food so he could make something._

"_Kurt, could I talk to you for a second?" Simon asked. Blaine narrowed his eyes at his dad._

"_Dad." Blaine said._

"_It's okay Blaine." Kurt said with a smile. Kurt went with Simon to the next room. He was nervous, but he really liked Blaine's family. He just wanted them to like him too._

"_I just want to thank you so much for making Blaine so happy." Simon said catching Kurt a little off guard. "I know he probably told you about what happened to him in school." Kurt nodded. "After that he was a completely different person. He was so to himself and so broken but you've brought him back. And I'm so thankful for that." Kurt was almost speechless. He never saw himself as him being the one to save Blaine, but always saw Blaine as his savior. But who's to say they can't be each others savior? _

"_Blaine means a lot to me. I'd do anything to make him happy." Kurt said honestly._

"_I trust you." Simon smiled. "But of course if you hurt him in anyway, I wont be as nice as I am now." Simon said kind of jokingly but to Kurt it just sounded like 'I'll kill you if you hurt my son.'_

"_Y-yes sir." Kurt stuttered. Simon chuckled._

"_I'm joking Kurt. And just call me Simon. I have a feeling you wont have a thing to worry about."_

_..._

"Well hopefully Finn's ready for meeting the parents." Kurt said. "I was nervous as hell."

"I think everyone's nervous about that." Blaine smiled sleepily against Kurt's neck. Kurt yawned.

"Let's sleep, we'll see how everything goes tomorrow." Kurt said. Blaine hummed in agreement and they were both asleep within minutes.

* * *

><p>On Friday time seemed to fly on by. When Kurt and Blaine got to the Hummel household after school it was easy to tell Finn was freaking out. His clothes were a mess, his tie wasn't even put on right, he was on the phone with Rachel who, from the sounds of it, was yelling at him or scolding him about something.<p>

"Yeah Rach, I know. I know. Okay. I wont be late. I don't think a song is necessary...Oh you do it every night? Um okay cool...yeah..okay...see you later." Finn sighed as soon as he got off the phone and turned to Kurt with pleading eyes.

"Can you help me with everything? I have no idea how to tie a tie or pick out clothes or meet parents." Finn rambled. Kurt smiled at Finn's nervousness. He must really care about Rachel.

"Okay first of all whoever told you to match those brown pants with that blue shirt needs to get their eyes checked." Kurt said immediately heading for Finn's room.

"But I don't need glasses." Finn mumbled as he followed Kurt. Blaine smiled and shook his head at both of them and decided to join Burt and Carole in the kitchen.

"Wear this." Kurt said handing Finn a pair of black dress pants. "The shirt is fine, just tuck it into your pants." Finn followed Kurt's instructions and was glad when Kurt taught him how to tie a tie afterward.

"You look great Finn." Kurt gave himself a mental pat on the back.

"Thanks dude. I was going crazy." Finn smiled gratefully.

"Come on we're gonna be late if we don't start to get going." At that comment Finn rushed out of his room and start yelling at everyone to get in the car. Kurt shook his head. Finn was officially going insane.

* * *

><p>They made it to the Berry's resident early but Rachel was already outside. Rachel was beautiful. Long dark hair, an award winning smile, and perfect dress for the occasion. Finn got out the car first to greet Rachel.<p>

"Everyone this is Rachel." Finn said awkwardly. "Rachel this is my mom Carole, her boyfriend Burt, Burt's son Kurt, and his boyfriend Blaine."

"Wow, nice to meet everybody. My dad's are inside." Rachel said. It was easy to tell she was nervous too. She led them inside and as soon as they were inside they heard bickering.

"Hiram, the piano should be on the left side of the table. That way right after we eat we can begin singing." One voice said.

"Leroy, we don't have to have the piano at dinner _every _night." Another voice said.

"Music is always the way to woo people." The first voice, Leroy said. "It worked on you."

"Yeah, the first time. The other times—not so much." The second voice, Hiram scoffed.

"Yet, you're still here." Leroy said smugly. Rachel's face was red with embarrassment.

"Dads. This is my boyfriend Finn and his umm extended family, so to speak." Rachel introduced everyone. Kurt and Blaine was surprised to see that Rachel had two gay dads. After all the introductions they headed to the dinning room for dinner. It was probably one of the most animated dinners and one of them had.

"Dude, twenty bucks say's you and Blaine will end up just like them." Finn whispered at one point during dinner. Kurt smirked.

"We will not have sing alongs at dinner time." Kurt scoffed even though in his mind he was thinking the exact same thing as Finn. The rest of the night the excitement and entertainment didn't cease. Then Leroy and Hiram launched into a hilarious rendition of "You're a Top" which had Blaine and Kurt amused the whole way through.

"So are you a bottom or top Kurt?" Finn had whispered causing Kurt to choke on his drink. The tips of Kurt's ears remained red for almost the whole dinner.

"I don't think Finn even realizes what he just asked." Blaine said with a laugh. Kurt laughed quietly with him which left Finn confused, which led to Rachel whispering an explanation in Finn's ear that mad him turn red.

"I change my mind. I don't want to know." Finn mumbled. Blaine and Kurt chuckle at Finn's reaction.

"Anyone else want to sing something?" Leroy asked.

"I think that's enough entertainment for tonight, Leroy." Hiram said.

"You're just bitter I took over most of the song." Leroy waved him off.

"No, I just don't want your singing to embarrass our little sugarplum." Hiram argued.

"Please, everyone knows you're the embarrassing parent." Leroy smirked. Rachel had her face in her hands.

"They are both so embarrassing." She groaned quietly. Finn put his arm around her.

"Hey. I think they are great." He assured her. She looked up and smiled.

"Really?" She asked with hopeful eyes. Finn nodded and gave her a goofy grin. Rachel kissed his cheek.

"Thanks for agreeing to meet my parents, I know it's kind of weird.." She said.

"I think weird is better than anything else." Finn said sweetly. Kurt and Blaine reached for each other's hands at the same time. They smiled at each other.

"We're fine now?" Kurt asked.

"We've been fine." Blaine smiled.

"Do you think we'll have sing along dinners and embarrass our kids?" Kurt asked out of nowhere.

"Well I'd like for us to finish high school, go to college, get good jobs and get married first before thinking about kids." Blaine said rationally and with a teasing smile. "But yeah I think we'd do something like that."

"When I think of a future, I can't imagine it with anyone but you. So hopefully you wont be scared away by my craziness any time soon." Kurt said jokingly but Blaine could tell there was a little fear in his words.

"Your craziness is what attracts me to you." Blaine tells him. Kurt rolls his eyes but leans his head on Blaine's shoulder as they watch Hiram and Leroy sing again. Burt and Carole smile at their sons and their significant others together looking so happy and right for each other.

"When we get married, this will be one huge crazy family." Burt mused. Carole smiled at him.

"Oh? So we're getting married?" She asked teasingly.

"Well, maybe someday yeah." Burt smiled at her.

"Oh not maybe. Definitely, but I want an actual proposal mister." Carole told him. Burt laughed.

"You'll get one, don't worry." Burt said kissing the top of her head.

"Good because I'm looking forward to this huge crazy family." Carole smiled and Burt couldn't agree more.

* * *

><p><strong>Gasp! Talk of marriage? What do you guys think of that? Anyways i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Let me know what you thought of it with a review. <strong>

**Hint for next chapter: I haven't started it but i think we'll go back to some Burt and Kurt or Kurt and Carole bonding. Most likely even some Finn and Burt bonding. And i think we'll start bringing more New Directions and Warblers around too. But one thing for sure is more talk of singing...**


	16. Shedding the layers

**A/N: Hey guys! I played around a lot with this chapter and i'm kind of proud of it. As suggested by two reviewers (Jake and dreamkeaper) I wanted to focus on the intimacy between Kurt and Blaine. It's a very important issue, especially for Kurt. So i really hope you guys enjoy it. Also I'm glad a lot of you guys enjoyed that last chapter it was one of my favorites to write.**

* * *

><p>"So are you nervous about Regionals coming up?" Kurt asked Blaine. Kurt had decided to change things up and stay over at Blaine's this weekend. His dad and Carole had already told him and Finn that they were permanently moving in soon. Kurt knew it was happening soon enough and he was okay with it. It's just a lot for him to take in, so it was nice to get away for a while.<p>

"A little bit. But I think we'll do just fine." Blaine said, moving closer to Kurt so that they were lying facing each other.

"I can finally see you guys sing on stage." Kurt said with a huge smile. Before, his mother never let him go to the performances. Claiming that they were a big waste of time and would just give him false hope.

"Yes, finally you can." Blaine smiled back before moving in closer to kiss Kurt. He adjusted himself so that he was on top of Kurt while they kissed. Kurt sighed happily into the kiss and wrapped his arms around Blaine. Blaine slipped his tongue past Kurt's lips causing Kurt to moan quietly. Blaine's hands started to wander down Kurt's body to the hem of his shirt. Blaine broke the kiss to focus on ravishing his boyfriend's neck.

"God Blaine." Kurt chuckled brokenly. Blaine smiled against his neck and pulled away.

"Can we try something different?" Blaine asked looking right at Kurt nervously. He knew this would usually be the part where Kurt would pull away and say they should cool down, but he wanted to change things up a bit."

"Depends on what it is?" Kurt panted.

"Can we take off our shirts?" Blaine asked. Kurt's eyes grew wide.

"I-I think we're fine like this." Kurt stuttered, avoiding Blaine's eyes. Blaine lifted himself of Kurt.

"Right. Of course, it was a stupid idea." Blaine muttered. He didn't want to push Kurt at all. It was almost like every time they were both ready for the next step, Kurt would take a step back.

"Not stupid." Kurt said sitting up. "I just don't think I'm ready for that just yet." Kurt smiled but Blaine could tell it was his fake smile. Kurt leaned in to kiss Blaine again and before long they get lost in it.

Blaine knew that this was supposed to distract him, but he really wanted to talk to Kurt about this. Any kind of intimacy more than this is what Kurt always avoids.

"Kurt? Baby, can we talk more about this?" Blaine pulled away from Kurt.

"There's nothing to talk about." Kurt sighed.

"I know you said you aren't ready, and that's perfectly fine, but I think that's only a small part of it. You have no problems running your hands under my shirt when we make out, but if I try to do the same..we have to cool down." Blaine pointed out gently. Kurt was looking down at his hands.

"Can we please drop it?" Kurt whispered.

"See? Again you're trying to push me away. Kurt we need to talk about things, not avoid them." Blaine said taking Kurt's hands. Kurt sighed again.

"I don't want you to see me without my shirt on." Kurt admitted before getting off the bed and began to gather his belongings. Blaine stood up with him.

"Why not?" Blaine asked.

"Because you won't like what you see." Kurt said, finally looking Blaine in the eyes. Kurt's eyes were sad and terrified but what surprised Blaine was that he could see want in Kurt's eyes as well.

"Kurt, that's ridiculous." Blaine said incredulously.

"Can you take me home?" Kurt asked, apparently ignoring Blaine's disbelief.

"Can we talk more about this?" Blaine asked. Kurt paused for a few seconds then nodded.

"Another time, just please take me home." He pleaded. Blaine sighed but relented.

The drive to the house was mostly quiet. Kurt stared at his hands in his lap the whole time and Blaine let him be. He dropped Kurt off with a promise to call him when he got home, but he didn't drive home immediately after. He had someone he needed to talk to.

* * *

><p>Blaine could never understand how Kurt had loved the smell of cars. Or fixing them, for that matter. He walked through the garage quietly. Some of the workers smiled at him and waved. He's been here enough with Kurt that he knew most of their names. He spotted Burt in his office doing some paperwork. He took a deep breath before knocking on the slightly open door. Burt looked up and smiled in surprised and told him to come in. Blaine stepped inside and closed the door.<p>

"Hey kid. What brings you here?" Burt asked.

"I wanted to talk to you about Kurt." Blaine told him. Burt raised an eyebrow.

"No marriage." He said immediately. Blaine could help but laugh.

"I wasn't going to ask that. We're both not ready for that yet." Blaine said. Burt smiled in relief.

"Just making sure. So what about my son?" He asked.

"...have you ever talked to Kurt about sex?" Blaine whispered. Burt's grew comically wide.

"You really like to jump into the heavy conversations, don't you kid?" Burt said taking his hat off his head. Blaine chuckled a bit but remained serious.

"My dad talked to me about it when I turned 15. Kurt and I were only dating for a few months. And I told Kurt but he never wanted to talk about it. He would shy away from conversations like that. As we got older he's gotten better about it but he tries to avoid serious conversations about it." Blaine explained to Burt. Burt was still processing this whole situation.

"So...you want to have sex with Kurt." Burt asked him.

"That isn't what this is about-" Blaine started to say.

"But you do." Burt cuts him off. Blaine sighed.

"Yes I do, but not yet. Kurt's nowhere near as comfortable with me in that way yet." Blaine said. Burt was surprised to hear that. He sees the way they are together and would never in a million year had guessed that.

"Did you try something today..or?" Burt began to pry. Blaine's face was already turning a light shade of red.

"I asked him if we could kiss while shirtless and he said he didn't want me to see him like that because I wont like what I see." Blaine told Burt. When Blaine said that it reminded Burt of when Finn barged into Kurt's room while he was changing and Kurt hid himself in his closet. "Which I don't understand because I always tell Kurt he's beautiful. There isn't anything that could stop me from thinking that." And that's when it clicked in Burt's head.

"Has it ever occurred to you that Kurt thinks you're just saying that." Burt asked him. Blaine opens is mouth to interject but Burt hold up his hand. "Hear me out kid. Kurt wears all this make up everyday-"

"I've seen him plenty of times with out it and I still think he's beautiful." Blaine interrupted. Burt gave him a look.

"I know Blaine. You don't have to prove yourself to me." Burt gives him a smile. "Now as I was saying, he wears all this make up everyday because people are going to talk. But when he's alone with someone he's learned to trust he sometimes wont leave it on. The bruises on his face are fading but I noticed when ever he told me about what his mother did to him...he'd mention that she, for the most part, tried to hit him where no one would notice." Burt explained gently. "I think he's afraid of you seeing all of that." Blaine slumped back in his chair after taking in all that information.

"Oh..." Blaine said quietly.

"Kurt trusts you Blaine..more than anyone else. But you've got to understand that he's still trying to protect himself. Once you see him like that there is no going back, and I think he knows that and is scared you that won't ever look at him in the same way." Burt told him.

"How can I show him that will never happen?" Blaine asked in a small voice.

"You'll find away." Burt said reassuringly. Blaine smiled.

"Thanks for talking to me about this." Blaine said.

"No problem Blaine. You can come to here anytime, if you need to talk."

* * *

><p>When Kurt got into the house he couldn't help but feel guilty for not talking to Blaine. Blaine was always so open about everything with him. Why couldn't he be as open with Blaine, as Blaine was with him? He sighed as he walked further into the house. Walking into the living room, he wasn't surprised to see Finn and Puck playing video games. Puck came over a lot and he's gotten used to it.<p>

"Hey dude. How's Blaine?" Finn asked when he saw Kurt in the doorway.

"He's fine. Hey Puck." Kurt greeted. Puck nodded in his direction.

"Hey, what's wrong? Are you and Blaine fighting again?" Finn asked concerned and paused ignoring Puck's look of annoyance.

"No we aren't. I'm fine, Finn." Kurt told him, giving him a tight lipped smile before walking away to him room. Finn and Puck looked at each other.

"I'll check on him later." Finn said not wanting to bother Kurt. "Lets keep playing." They continued playing for a few minutes until Carole came home.

"Hello boys." She greeted them when she came in.

"Hey mom." Finn said not taking his eyes off the screen.

"Hey Ms. Hudson." Puck said also not looking in her direction. She rolled her eyes fondly.

"Is Kurt still at Blaine's?" She asked them.

"No, he came home a little while ago." Finn answered. "He seemed a little upset." Carole nodded and went down the hall to find him. She knocked on his door three time before Kurt opened it and let her in.

"Kurt? Finn said you seemed upset. What's wrong?" She asked him.

"Nothing." He sighed. "Well something but it's weird to talk about." Kurt confessed.

"You can tell me anything. You never know, I could probably help." She suggested. Kurt looked at her and gave in.

"Well Blaine wanted to take our relationship a small step forward.." Kurt began, his face already burning because talking about these things with adults was really embarrassing.

"And you aren't ready for that?" She asked. Kurt shook his head.

"I am ready, but I just can't." Kurt said sadly. Carole hesitantly sat on the bed next to Kurt.

"Are you afraid of moving forward?" She asked him.

"No..I'm afraid of not being able to turn back if he realizes he doesn't like what he sees." Kurt revealed. "My body isn't amazing. I'm not amazing. I'm marked all over, I'm scarred, and I'm nothing special and I don't think I'm ready for him to see that just yet." Kurt whimpered. Carole felt a pang in her heart when Kurt talked about himself like that.

"Sweetie, Blaine loves you. He could never see you as anything less than amazing, even though right now that's all you see." Carole said softly but firmly. "And one day you'll believe it as much as he does." Kurt wiped the tears that streamed down his face.

"You don't know that." He mumbled.

"Maybe not but I have a hunch that I'm right." She said honestly, Kurt looked up at her. "Kurt you'll only find out when you move forward. If you never move forward you'll regret it and blame yourself, you don't want that sweetie." Carole told him. Kurt nodded.

"You're right." Kurt agreed. Carole patted his knee before getting up to leave. "Carole?" She turned back with a questioning smile. Kurt bit his lip before getting up and giving her a hug. "I'm really glad you guys moved in with us." Kurt breathed. Carole held on a little tighter.

"Me too."

* * *

><p>The next day Kurt was back at Blaine's. They were in the same spot they were the day before, but this time Kurt pulled away from the kiss first.<p>

"I'm sorry about yesterday." Kurt said. Blaine smiled.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, it's okay." Kurt shook his head.

"No, Blaine I lied I am ready...I'm just scared of you not liking my body." Kurt confessed, looking at his hands.

"Kurt look at me please?" Blaine asked. Kurt tilted his head up and gazed at Blaine. "I love you." He said looking at Kurt adoringly.

"I love you too." Kurt whispered back.

"I think everything about you is beautiful, Kurt." Blaine said truthfully. "I would never lie to you about that."

"If I didn't have all these ugly marks and scars on my body, it'd be easier to believe." Kurt said sadly.

"I don't care about them Kurt, they don't matter to me." Blaine urged Kurt to believe him.

"You don't know that yet. You could see them and then not ever want to look at me again." Kurt expressed his fears. Blaine took cupped Kurt's cheeks and looked at him seriously and lovingly.

"Kurt nothing could ever change my mind about how you look. You were beautiful before you had all the scars and bruises, you're beautiful now, and you'll be beautiful for as long as you live, in my eyes." Blaine told Kurt softly. Kurt looked at Blaine with glassy eyes filled with love and trust.

"Take off my shirt." Kurt whispered.

"We don't need to do this now-" Blaine said moving over to give Kurt some space. Kurt fondly rolled his eyes and took Blaine's hands.

"I need you to show me that you aren't lying." Kurt said softly. "Please." Blaine took a deep breath and nodded. He kissed him briefly and slowly began lifting Kurt shirt up. He kept looking into Kurt's eyes making sure to keep eye contact until he pulled the shirt over Kurt's head. He tossed the shirt down and his eyes trailed Kurt's body. On Kurt's side he had a long scar. He traced it with his thumb, vaguely hearing Kurt's breath hitch. There were dark bruises on his stomach that looked as if they tried but failed to fade. Kurt was watching Blaine with wide eyes. Blaine hasn't said anything yet. But then again he hadn't shown any sign of disgust either.

"T-the back is worse than the front." Kurt said. Blaine looked up from where he was entranced before.

"Can I see?" He asked, voice barely a whisper. Kurt nodded and turned himself around.

And it was true. Kurt's back had really dark marks that look permanent. They littered his back and almost looked painful. Blaine ran his fingers down a row of bruises on Kurt's back.

"I..I hate that you have these. I wish you didn't..but you do. And I know you hate them. But Kurt nothing could ever scare me away from you. I still think you're beautiful." Blaine said gently pressing a soft kiss to Kurt's shoulder. "After two years together, I'd think you'd know that by now."

"I do know." Kurt sighed. "But there's this part of me that's largely irrational. After two years, I'd think you'd know that." Kurt teased. Blaine smirked.

"Oh, believe me I know." Blaine said. "But I love you anyways, Kurt Hummel." Kurt turned around so that he was facing Blaine.

"I love you too Blaine Anderson." Kurt said softly, winding his arms around his neck and kissing him softly. He pulled away after a few moments. "I feel severely under dressed you know." Kurt said with a small nervous chuckled. Blaine smiled.

"You can put your shirt back on if you want." Blaine said. Kurt rolled his eyes before reaching for the hem of Blaine's shirt.

"Can I?" He asked. Blaine looked at Kurt surprised before nodding. Kurt lifted Blaine's shirt over his head. His eyes roamed his boyfriends body.

"You're so beautiful." Kurt said breathlessly. Kurt was painfully aware that this is the farthest they've ever gone intimately. He watched to touch Blaine so badly. Just feel his skin and learn every drip and curve of his body. But it was terrifying at the same time.

"Kurt? Are you okay baby?" Blaine asked. Kurt nodded shakily but then shook his head.

"I-I don't know what I'm doing...I don't know what we're doing." Kurt uttered out.

"Just looking. We don't have to do anything Kurt." Blaine assured him. But Kurt groaned.

"But I want to do something Blaine. Isn't about time?" Kurt asked him.

"Kurt, this isn't a race. It's only time when we are both sure we want to move forward. I'm only comfortable if you're comfortable. So by the way you're hands are shaking I can tell you aren't ready for going much further than this." Blaine gave him a small smile. Kurt looked at Blaine with such adoration.

"You can read me so well." Kurt murmured.

"Years of practice." Blaine grinned smugly. Kurt chuckled and then looked back up at Blaine.

"Well, you're right..i don't think I'm ready to go much further than this. But I really do want to continue making out." Kurt said blatantly.

"Oh thank god me too." Blaine said with a relived chuckled and brought his lips back to Kurt's.

* * *

><p>Kurt went home that afternoon giddy and feeling light. Spending that alone time with Blaine was amazing, and very much needed. He brought his fingers under the scarf around his neck and smiled knowing Blaine had gave him a nice sized mark, just like he gave Blaine in return. He unlocked the door to the house and was surprised to see Finn playing games with a bunch of other guys. He remembered the blonde boy Sam and of course Puck who was always here, but everyone else a stranger. Kurt was suddenly very nervous to be in his own home. Finn looked in the doorway when Kurt came in.<p>

"Hey dude! Finn yelled over the loud sounds from the game.

"Hey." Kurt answered timidly, aware of all the eyes that were now on him.

"Oh these are the guys from glee. You know Puck. This is Sam, Artie, and Mike." Finn introduced. Kurt gave them each a small wave.

"Where's my dad?" Kurt asked taking off his jacket and hanging it on at the hook. His scarf became loosened and fell from his neck while doing so.

"Dude! You totally got some!" Puck said in a proud voice. Kurt's hand went to his neck as he frantically retrieved his scarf.

"I didn't get anything. Shut up." Kurt mumbled feeling embarrassed at the heavy attention on his neck.

"Man, that's one hell of a hickey." Sam said smirking.

"Seriously." Mike agreed.

"Pound it man." The kid in the wheel chair, Artie, held his fist out. Kurt glared at them.

"Finn, tell your friends to mind their business." Kurt said with burning cheeks.

"Dude, is Blaine like a vampire or something?" Finn asked. Kurt groaned.

"What's all the commotion in he- oh.." Burt came into the room and stared at Kurt along with all the other boys. Kurt couldn't remember a more embarrassing moment. "That's some mark you got there kiddo." Burt said with a chuckle. Kurt tied the scarf around his neck rapidly, ignoring the fact that he was now basically choking himself.

"I'm gonna go to my room." Kurt grit through his teeth and hurried past everyone, down the hall. Burt chuckled and followed him.

"Kurt, no need to be embarrassed son." He said once he got to Kurt's room. Kurt glared at him and mumbled a whatever. "Now scoot over we need to talk." Burt said. Kurt moved over and Burt sat.

"Talk about what?" Kurt asked eying the folder in Burt's hands warily.

"You and Blaine both young teenage boys. And I know you boys haven't done much but you will." Burt begins and Kurt pales when he figures out where this is going.

"Do we really have to talk about this now?" Kurt asked Burt with wide eyes. Burt chuckles at his expression.

"Yes, because you're almost 17 and you need to know these things." Burt said with a firm tone. Kurt sighed and nodded.

"Fine." He said softly.

"Sex is a very precious moment in a relationship, and a lot of people overlook how precious it is. It's more like they just want to have sex because it's fun and it feels good. And that's true but sometimes they forget about the emotion behind it and the feelings of the other person. I don't want you to forget that." Burt said in a soft voice. Kurt nodded.

"I won't forget that Dad." Kurt promised.

"Good because it's better when it means something to both people. And like that you're more vulnerable than you've ever been. But if you trust who you're with you wont mind being vulnerable around them, and visa versa." Burt paused. "I just want you to know not to rush into it if you aren't ready. You matter Kurt. Blaine matters. I know you love and trust each other, and I know you're going slow with this, but you need to make sure you communicate with each other. Understand?" Burt asked and Kurt nodded.

"I understand Dad." Kurt said.

"Okay..good. Now I went out and got you these pamphlets. I really want you to read them, okay?"

"Okay..I will." Burt hands him the folder and squeezes his shoulder. "Thank you for doing this for me." Kurt says before he leaves. Burt looks back and smiles.

"You're welcome." And Burt leaves. Inside the room Kurt opens the folder tentatively and begins reading. Later on he would call Blaine and they'd talk about it a little and promise to talk about it more together in person. After he would hang up, take off his shirt and look in the mirror. He doesn't pay attention to the scars or wounds. He just remembers that path that Blaine's fingers explored and how he kissed every single bruise on him. In that moment, he believes he's beautiful.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Tell me what you thought with a review! Anything you want to see in the next chapters? I think it might be time for Kurt to get some girl friends. And i think it's time for regionals as well. Kurt's first time seeing Blaine perform on stage! <strong>

**(Also...Did anyone love the latest episode of glee as much as i did? And i'm sort of excited for the next one!)**


	17. Self discovery

**A/N: I'm sooooo sorry guys! I took forever with this but I've had a migraine for two weeks straight and couldn't think straight. But i managed to make a pretty good chapter (in my opinion). So I really hope you guys like it. Your responses to my last chapter were amazing! I'm so glad you guys liked it. **

**I wanted to bring in what a lot of you guys were asking about. Which is Kurt singing. And also a new Kurt friendship. So enjoy!**

**Warnings:**

**There are like 3 flashbacks in this chapter! The first one is a little bit graphic and so is the second a little bit. The third one is okay.**

* * *

><p>"<em>Is he here today?" Wes asked as he sat down at the lunch table along with David, Nick, and Jeff. Blaine shook his head.<em>

"_No...still not here." Blaine said in a monotone voice. All the the boys shared a worried look._

"_Can't you call?" Nick asked him. Blaine gave him a hard look._

"_Don't you think I've tried that already?" Blaine asked, exasperated. Nick looked at him apologetically._

"_Right. Sorry, stupid question." Nick said. Blaine sighed._

"_No, I'm sorry. I-I called his house phone yesterday but it was disconnected. And we all know Kurt doesn't have a cell phone. This is the third day and I have a really bad feeling about this." Blaine said in a low voice so no one over heard them._

"_Blaine." David began. "I know we stopped you the first day and the second day from going to see Kurt. But I think it's time to call the police. We can't keep this secret anymore." Blaine knew Wes was right. He's been wanting to call the police for sometime but Kurt made all of them promise not to tell._

"_I know..I was just hoping it wouldn't have to come to this." Blaine said sadly. "I think I'll tell my parents today so they can drive me."_

"_You mean us. We want to make sure Kurt's okay too." Jeff said with a small smile. Blaine smiled back but they could all tell it was forced._

_After school, they drove to Blaine's house. Blaine took a deep breath before he got out of the car with his friends. Wes patted his back._

"_Ready?" He asked. Blaine nodded and they followed him inside the house._

"_Mom! Dad! Cooper!" Blaine called when they all made it inside. _

"_Kitchen, sweetie!" Blaine's mother called out. The five walked into the kitchen together. Blaine's mother was at the table next to Cooper drinking coffee, while his father was reading a book. They all looked up when the boys came in._

"_Hey boys!" Simon said with a smile. "How was school?" _

"_It was okay Dad." Blaine said shortly._

"_Is Kurt still sick?" Andrea asked her son. Blaine looked down and took another deep breath._

"_I..I don't know what's wrong with Kurt..I haven't heard from him in three days." Blaine told them honestly. They all frowned._

"_Have you called?" Cooper asked. Blaine nodded._

"_The phone is disconnected, and Kurt doesn't have a phone, it was broken last week." Blaine explained. Their frowns deepened. Blaine decided to go on before they questioned him further. "Mom remember that day when I asked you whether or not to help someone out if they were in trouble even if they didn't want any help." She nodded slowly._

"_Blaine..where is this going?" His dad asked him softly. Blaine's eyes filled with tears but he held them in._

"_Kurt...he uh..he told me that his mother ab-abuses him at home.." Blaine told them with a wavering voice. His family looked stunned, none of them moved. "Then he made me promise not to tell anyone because it's been happening to him for years and he could handle it." Blaine told them. The boys each stood close to Blaine in support. It was quiet for a long time._

"_That is the worst and most unsafe promise you ever made." Cooper said eventually._

"_I know." Blaine said._

"_Blaine, if someone is getting hurt you have to tell, no matter what." Simon told his son. Blaine bowed his head._

"_I know. I'm sorry." Blaine said letting his tears fall. _

"_Blaine was only being faithful to Kurt." Wes defended his friend. "Instead of pointing out how, yes we all should have done something the minute we found out, we need to get to Kurt's house because he's been at his house for 3 days and we have no idea what's going on." That got everyone to shut up. _

"_You boys get in Blaine's car. We'll drive right behind you." Simon instructed. Everyone hurried to get to their designated cars. They made it to Kurt's in half an hour. Blaine was the first out of the car followed by the rest of the boys. He was about to knock on the door but it was already opened. They walked inside quietly terrified of what they would find. They noticed things looked like they were tossed around and broken. They made it to the living room and what they saw made them freeze._

"_Holy shit!" Nick exclaimed covering in mouth trying not to scream. They all followed his eyes and saw a woman hanging from the ceiling. _

"_I'm gonna be sick." David said looking away immediately._

"_Oh my.. You guys over there!" Jeff yelled. They all followed to where he was pointing. It was Kurt, in the corner of the room, all bloody and beat up. _

"_CALL 911!"_

_..._

Blaine jolted awake. His heart was beating rapidly and it felt as if he had just finish running a marathon.

"Kurt's alive." He said to himself. "Kurt's better now." He has nights like these from time to time. Usually of the same moments and a couple of moments after finding him like that. It was pretty rough, which is why he could empathize with Kurt when it comes to the nightmares. He instinctively reached for his phone to call Kurt. He was surprised when it already began ringing and Kurt's picture popped up on his phone.

* * *

><p><em>Kurt was ready to die. He didn't even feel any of the blows to his body anymore. She was hitting him everywhere. His arm was possibly broken and he couldn't see anything out of his right eye. It hurt to move any part of his body, so didn't. He stayed still and didn't even cry out anymore. It would probably only give her more joy.<em>

_He thought of Blaine. Beautiful, amazing, loving Blaine. Blaine who he would probably never see again. Blaine who will probably find out he was dead and feel horrible about keeping his selfish secret. Blaine who had done nothing but care about him, and all Kurt has done was be selfish and weak. He was going to miss Blaine._

_And all of his friends. Wes. David. Nick. Jeff. He might not ever see them again. He might not be around to laugh at their crazy shenanigans. He was going to miss them so much._

_At some point the blows to his body ceased but it didn't matter anymore, he knew he was losing too much blood. He felt his mother grab him roughly and toss him back into the wall._

"_Goodbye Kurt." She whispered. He opened his left eye slowly only to be greeted with one final blow to the head._

_..._

Kurt woke up on the floor. He looked around his room frantically, reminding himself that this was all in the past. He took a few deep breaths before getting up from the floor and getting back in bed. He impulsively grabbed his phone to dial a Blaine's number.

"Kurt?" Blaine answered. Something was off about his voice.

"Blaine." Kurt said with a shaky voice. "I know it's late but I just needed to hear your voice."

"I-I was actually just going to call you for the same reason." Blaine admitted with a short chuckle.

"Really? Why?" Kurt asked him. Blaine sighed softly.

"I just had a nightmare about you." Blaine told him. Kurt stiffened.

"Was it about..?" Kurt left the question lingering in the air.

"Yeah..it was." Blaine said.

"I-I had a nightmare about that day too." Kurt told Blaine.

"...Really? Gosh, are you okay? Well of course you aren't okay, that was stupid of me to ask." Blaine rambled. Kurt smiled a bit.

"Relax Blaine. I'm...I'm not bad. I haven't dreamed about that moment in a while but I reacted better than I usually do. I only fell off the bed this time." Kurt joked. "Are you okay? You don't have nightmares that much."

"I'm fine. I just wanted to make sure I was dreaming, you know?" Blaine said in a small voice. Kurt nodded although Blaine couldn't see him.

"I know what you mean." Kurt replies. "Do you think you can get back to sleep?"

"Probably not. Which is horrible because Wes is having us practice an extra hour tomorrow. He really wants to win." Blaine told him.

"That's Wes." Kurt said rolling his eyes. There was a few beats of companionable silence before Kurt spoke again. "Put your phone on your pillow next to you."

"What?" Blaine asked confused.

"Put your phone on your pillow." Kurt repeated. Kurt waited for a moment. "Can you still hear me?"

"Yeah, I can hear you." Blaine said and Kurt could hear the smile in his voice.

"Okay, now close your eyes." Kurt said softly.

"Done." Blaine whispered.

"I want you to relax okay?" Kurt whispered back.

"Okay baby, I'm relaxing." Blaine said with a smile.

"Good." Kurt smiled. Kurt took a deep breath.

_Cold as ice  
>And more bitter than a december<em>

_Winter night  
>That's how I treated you<br>And I know that I  
>I sometimes tend to lose my temper<br>And I cross the line  
>Yeah that's the truth<br>I know it gets hard sometimes  
>But I could never<br>Leave your side  
>No matter what I say<br>Cause if I wanted to go I would have gone by now,  
>But I really need you near me to<br>Keep my mind off the edge  
>If I wanted to leave I would have left by now<br>But you're the only one that knows me  
>Better than I know myself <em>

Blaine was stunned at first, not expecting to her Kurt's beautiful soft voice, singing him to sleep. He wanted to stay awake, to tell Kurt he wished he had never stopped singing. But Kurt's soft soothing whisper was enough to make his eyes flutter shut. Before he knew it he was slowly drifting to sleep.

Kurt continued to sing until he heard Blaine snoring softly. Kurt was shaking the whole time he sang. He couldn't shake the feeling that he shouldn't sing anymore, no matter how much he wanted to.

...

"_What do you mean you don't want to sing anymore?" Wes asked incredulously. He was looking at Kurt like he was insane._

"_I-I don't want to sing." Kurt stumbled over his words. The rest of the room was silent and he avoided everyone's eyes._

"_Why not?" Jeff asked from where he was seated next to Nick and Blaine. Kurt forced himself not to have a breakdown._

"_I just don't want to. You can kick me out if you want but just understand that I can't sing anymore. Can we leave it alone?" Kurt said in a raised voice. He met eyes with Blaine who looked terribly confused. He looked away immediately._

"_We aren't going to kick you out." David said eventually._

"_Really?" Kurt asked with disbelief. _

"_No." Wes sighed. "You can still be in the Warblers. You earned your place in here whether or not you sing. One thing you can choose is who will duet with Blaine now that you won't sing." Kurt looked over at Blaine, who was still looking at him with concern and confusion. _

"_Uh, Nick can have my spot." Kurt decided._

"_I don't understand. You went through so much trouble for that spot, and now you're just handing it away." Nick said looking at his friend, trying to figure out what's going on. Jeff rubbed his boyfriends back soothingly. Kurt looked away from them._

"_Warbler Blaine are you okay with this arrangement." Wes asked. Kurt looked at Blaine who was looking at him still._

"_Do I have a choice?" Blaine asked, already knowing he didn't._

"_Not really." David said casting him a sympathetic glance._

"_Then I'm okay with it." Blaine sighed. Wes banged his gavel on the desk._

"_Okay, meeting adjourned." Wes said. As soon as most of the Warblers panned out, Kurt's friends focused their attention on him._

"_What the hell is going on with you?" Wes asked._

"_Wes, I don't want to talk about it." Kurt told him._

"_Kurt, you love to sing. I don't understand." Blaine looked at him sadly. Kurt wanted to tell them that he was scared. That his mother beat him enough to make sure he never wanted to sing again. But he couldn't._

"_You'll understand someday. But for now just please forget about it." He urged them. "Please?" All the boys shared a look and then nodded._

"_Fine Kurt." Wes let it go. "Will you at least be at our performance?" He asked. Kurt bit his lip._

"_I have to ask my mom." He said._

"_We can ask her with you." David offered._

"_No!" Kurt exclaimed a little too quickly and frantically. "It's fine, I can do it."_

"_NO! I don't want any talk of music in this house." She yelled at him._

"_Please mom, I let them all down already, the least I can do is go see their show." Kurt pleaded._

"_Well you're only going to keep disappointing them because that's what you are. Those shows are a waste of time and will only show you what you want in your dreams when in reality you'll only turn out like me." She said with a bitter smile._

"_If you never let me try, how do you know I wont make it?" Kurt challenged._

"_You aren't good honey. Stop trying to be so strong and determined. You're only going to be shot down." Elizabeth said._

"_What is wrong with you? Why can't you just let me be happy! You're just bitter because you aren't doing anything important and I could be someday!" Kurt screamed._

_Seconds later he would be on the ground with a bloody nose wishing he had never said those words._

_..._

Kurt gasped awake again. He instinctively grabbed around for his phone when he remembered he had just sang Blaine to sleep. He groaned to himself and felt like crying. Why can't he do something he loves without feeling afraid or scared anymore? She was gone, he had nothing to be afraid of.

"What's wrong with me?" He whispered to himself. He felt like the walls of his room were caving in on him and he could barely breathe. He threw his covers to the floor and got out of bed hoping to feel less suffocated. He buried his head in his hands.

"What's wrong with me?!" He asked himself. He didn't realize how loud he was being. He looked up sharply when the door to his room opened. He wasn't in the right state of mind to think rationally but somehow his brain turned the figure in the doorway to his mother. His dead mother.

"No." He whispered with wide eyes and this time when he fainted, the person wasn't quick enough to catch him.

* * *

><p>Kurt blinked lazily awake. The room was taking much longer than usually to stop being blurry. It was way too bright and his bed felt way smaller than usual. <em>Where was he?<em>

"He's waking up." That was Finn's voice. Why was Finn in his room? Kurt rubbed his eyes and tried to sit up and suddenly felt very lightheaded.

"Woah there. Slow down, you'll make yourself pass out." That was Blaine. What was going on? Kurt opened his eyes again and focused his eyes on the person in front of him. Blaine and Finn were on either side of him. He looked down at himself and realized he wasn't in his bed. He tried to look around the room quickly but his head felt horrible. He held a hand to his head and kept it there.

"What the hell did I do?" He groaned. Blaine smiled at him sadly.

"You have a mild concussion, you'll be fine." Blaine explained to him.

"Dude, you scared me. Why do you always faint around me? I didn't do anything this time." Finn whined.

"I what?" Kurt asked. "You came in my room? But it wasn't you..it was..it was.."

"Baby, you need to rest. We don't need to talk about this right now." Blaine said softly, while he gently laid Kurt back.

"Where's my dad?" Kurt asked them.

"With my mom getting some coffee for all of us." Finn said chuckling when Kurt lights up at the word coffee.

"No coffee for you. You need a lot of water." Blaine admonished. Kurt groaned.

"I don't want to be here." Kurt complained, trying to sit up again.

"They're going to let you out soon. They just wanted to make sure it wasn't more serious. You hit your head really hard." Finn told him. "I'm so sorry man. You were yelling and crying and I went to check on you and then you looked at me and fell back."

"I thought you were her.." He whispered to himself. Blaine and Finn both frowned.

"He thought I was a girl?" Finn whispered to Blaine. Blaine rolled his eyes.

"He probably just saw someone enter his room and that's the first thing his mind thought of." Blaine tried to make sense of the little information he got from Kurt. "Kurt baby why did you think it was her?" He asked him.

"I was singing...then the room was getting smaller and smaller and I couldn't breathe." As Kurt talked Finn's eyes grew wider. He remembered when he recorded Kurt singing before and found him in his room shaking. He had told him that every time he tried to sing it really messed him up.

"So you thought she was coming back to hurt you or something?" Finn guessed. Kurt nodded.

"I thought I was getting better." Kurt said in a small voice.

"You are baby. You are. This is just a little set back." Blaine tried to assure him.

"It's always a little setback. I'm never going to get better." Kurt mumbled. Just then Burt and Carole walked into the room.

"Hey buddy, how are you feeling?" Burt asked handing Finn and Blaine their coffee.

"Like I hit my head." Kurt deadpanned. Burt huffed out a laugh.

"You really scared us. You weren't waking up right away." Carole said moving to his side to mess with his hair.

"Sorry." Kurt didn't know what else to say. "I wont faint again." He joked.

"Please don't." Finn said with wide eyes. "If you do it again I might have a heart attack." Kurt laughed softly at that.

"Sorry Finn." Kurt apologized. Kurt moved slightly to the side to see Blaine whispering to Burt about something. "Are you guys whispering about me?" Kurt asked them.

"Blaine thinks you need to start going to therapy again. You've been going less and less." Burt said sternly. Kurt sighed and narrowed his eyes at Blaine who just smiled smugly.

"Do I have a choice?" Kurt asked already knowing he didn't.

"Of course not." Burt smiled.

* * *

><p>He always hated waiting. Usually he was able to just walk into Julia's office but it wasn't his regular therapy day. She had a few appointments before she could see him. He was sitting next to this girl who was wearing a cheer leading outfit. Much like the one that Brittany wore when he met her.<p>

"What are you looking at?" She asked. Kurt had no idea he was even staring.

"Nothing. Sorry, I just realized you have the same uniform as some girl I know." Kurt explained to her.

"That's a horrible pick up line dude." She snorted.

"It wasn't a pick up line." Kurt said with a raised eyebrow. "It was a comment. And besides I'm gay."

"Oh that makes sense." She said simply.

"Excuse me?" Kurt asked, trying not to get offended.

"Your voice and your clothing choice." She shrugged

"Oh so if I look at your clothing and listen to your annoying 'I'm better than you' voice then I can assume you're a self righteous bitch?" Kurt quipped. The girl smiled at him, gave him an appreciative nod, and held out her hand.

"Guilty as charged. I'm Santana Lopez." She introduced herself. Kurt eyed her hand and shook it hesitantly.

"Kurt Hummel." He said.

"So what are you here for? Trouble coming out of the closet? For the record, I'm pretty sure everyone knows." She said. Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Yes everyone knows because I've out for years. Let me guess you're here to scar the little kids coming out of the children's therapy area?" Kurt retorted. Santana laughed.

"No, at least not today." She said and Kurt was worried she wasn't joking. "I have an appointment with Julia. She's helping me be more open to everyone and stop being mean to to people." She said in a fake joyful voice.

"Oh..I'm here because I'm still recovering from my mother abusing me." Kurt admitted. He didn't know why he was saying this to someone he just met. She looked at him for a moment but there was no pity in her eyes, just understanding.

"People like us always have something bringing them down." She said. Kurt wanted to switch something to someone but he agreed.

"But there's always someone rooting for us." He said with a small smile.

"Yeah, there is." She smiled. Kurt vaguely remembered Brittany saying something about Santana being special to her. Maybe that's who she was thinking about.

"Kurt Hummel." The receptionist called. Kurt stood and began walking then paused.

"Do you want to hang out or something one day?" He asked. He felt weirdly comfortable with her, which wasn't a normal occurrence.

"Maybe. I'll just get your number from Finn." She said with a smirk. Kurt nodded dumbly but wondered how the hell did she figure out that he knew Finn. Finn probably talked about him more than he let on.

* * *

><p>"So Blaine was concerned that you can't sing without picturing your mom." Julia said after scolding him playfully for not keeping up his sessions.<p>

"Yeah. I kind of had an accident the other day. Concussion and fainting and all of that." Kurt said vaguely.

"I've heard." She said. "Now why are you so afraid to sing?"

"I don't know. It's just everything that she said to me I guess." Kurt mumbled.

"What did she say to you?" She pried.

"Just that I won't make it anywhere singing. That I'm going to be just like her and I'll only be a disappointment in my life. She always said that. And it still hurts and it's just seeming to be more and more true." Kurt picked at the chair he was sitting on while he spoke.

"Has there ever been anything she said that hasn't turned out to be true?" She questioned him. Kurt looked up and nodded slowly. "Like what?"

"Well..she said my dad was dead. That was a lie." He began to list. "She said my time was over but I'm still here. She told me I wasn't strong but everyone else begs to differ." Kurt told her.

"So why is what she told you about singing any different than those lies?" Julia asked. Kurt paused. He didn't know. He never asked himself that before. "Kurt since then have you thought of what you want to do with your life?"

"I...no." Kurt said quietly.

"Okay, so I want you to go home and start thinking about your passions. Whether it is music or fashion or even writing. Just think about it. Then when you come back in two weeks, you'll tell me how regionals was and then you'll tell me what you are beginning to lean towards." Julia said with a smile. Kurt nodded and gave a smile.

"Thanks Julia. And I promise to be back in two weeks this time." She laughed.

"Good. When you go out can you call Santana Lopez for me." She asked and Kurt nodded. Kurt left the room feeling a little lighter.

"Santana Lopez." Kurt called. She stood.

"All better?" She asked sarcastically.

"Nowhere near, but I'm working on it." Kurt said honestly. She gave him a genuine smile.

"Same."

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you guys enjoy! Please tell me what you think with a review! :)<strong>

**Also what do you guys want the Warblers to sing at regionals?**

**Happy reading! :)**


	18. Who am I?

**A/N: Hey guys! I've had like the worst week of my life with this migraine. The doctors did nothing so I'm left to suffer. So this chapter was written mostly during increments of time where i wasn't in a lot of pain. I really hope you like it though! Your reviews from the last chapter made me smile!**

**Warnings:**

**Kind of some violence in the first flashback. Also an almost cliffhanger...well it is a cliffhanger in a way...**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>"Blaine?" Kurt asked from on top of Blaine's bed. Blaine was on the floor working on his homework. He looked up at Kurt curiously.<p>

"Yes baby?" Blaine asked. Kurt bit his lip before speaking.

"What do you want to do with your life? Like college and job wise? We're going to be seniors next year and we've never talked about it." Kurt told him. Blaine stood up and climbed on the bed with Kurt.

"Well I want to do something involving music, you know that." Blaine said nudging Kurt.

"But where?" Kurt questioned curiously. Blaine shrugged.

"I don't know. I was thinking New York. They have some amazing Performing Arts schools." Blaine told him. Kurt nodded to himself. "What are you thinking of?" Blaine asked him.

"I...I'm not sure yet." Kurt said quietly. He was almost done with his Junior year and yet he had no idea what he wanted to do with his life. The only thing he was sure of is that he wanted Blaine in his life.

"Well that's okay. You don't need to know yet." Blaine said trying to get Kurt to look at him.

"I guess." Kurt said simply. He tried to act nonchalant about it but he was actually terrified. He had no real plans for life.

"Seriously baby. There's no need to worry about it now." Blaine assured him. Kurt nodded but the gears were already turning in Kurt's head. What the hell was he going to do with his life?

* * *

><p>"Okay son, what's got you all riled up?" Burt asked watching his son bake. He learned from Blaine that whenever Kurt was frustrated he would stress bake.<p>

"Nothing." Kurt mumbled from where he was stirring the cake batter.

"Nothing always means something." Burt pressed. "Come on, put the bowl down and take a seat." Kurt sighed and did as he was told. "What's on you mind buddy?"

"I don't know what I want to do with my life anymore." Kurt confessed. "I use to want to be on Broadway..but no one is going to want a person who freaks out during each musical number."

"Well if it's part of the play they will." Burt jokes but Kurt just looked even more put out. "Kurt you're talented at a lot of things." Kurt raised an eyebrow at him.

"Like what?" He asked.

"Like baking." Burt said, grabbing a cookie from the plate on the table. Kurt rolled his eyes.

"I'm not going to be a baker all my life." Kurt huffed. Burt chuckled.

"I was joking kid. You just have to find your passion. What do you enjoy doing?" Burt asked him. Kurt bit his lip and thought about it.

"I don't know...I told Julia I don't know what I'm good at. She said I should think about it, but it isn't easy." Kurt mumbled.

"You'll figure it out." Burt assured him, getting up from the table. "And hey, if all else fails, you can work in the shop with me forever." Kurt snorted.

"As much as I enjoy working with you dad, I think that's more your thing." Burt laughed and ruffled Kurt's hair, ignoring Kurt's protests.

"See, you are already narrowing stuff down." Burt said optimistically, before leaving the room. Kurt giggled and shook his head. Narrowing things down, he thought, that can't be too bad.

* * *

><p>"You want to what?" Finn asked, thinking he must have heard something.<p>

"I want to play football with you and Puck." Kurt repeated. Finn gaped at him and Kurt crossed his arms. "What?"

"Listen..no offense, but Kurt you're tiny and you don't even like sports." Finn said gently.

"I don't like _watching_ sports. You never know I could be good at it!" Kurt tried to convince Finn. Finn sighed.

"Fine. Puck and I were gonna go to the park and play. Do you want to invite Blaine?" Finn asked.

"He's in Warblers practice. Wes wants to make sure the Warblers win so they can go to Nationals, so he's working them extra hard." Kurt said with a fond smile.

"Shouldn't you be there? I mean you are in the Warblers." Finn asked curiously. Kurt's smile dropped.

"Wes said it would probably be best if didn't come to practice." Kurt said acting like he didn't really care.

"Wow. Harsh." Finn winced sympathetically.

"He probably has his reasons." Kurt said simply. "Now, I believe we have some football to play."

* * *

><p>"Porcelain that's the millionth toss you've missed." Puck groaned. "Face it you suck."<p>

"I only missed 12, and it's because you're throwing too far!" Kurt shot back. "I caught most of the one's Finn threw."

"Yeah, because he was like 3 feet from you." Puck pointed out.

"He was not!" Kurt denied. Finn looked between the two not sure what to do.

"Listen, you aren't a football player." Puck said. Finn suddenly got an idea. He went over to Kurt and places the ball in front of him.

"Kick it." Finn said suddenly. Kurt looked at him confused. "There's a position in football called the kicker. Just give it a try." Kurt nodded.

"Let me stretch for a bit." Kurt said. Puck groaned.

"He can't do it." Puck said. Finn punched him playfully.

"Just let him try man." Finn frowned at him. When he saw Kurt was almost ready he took out his phone to record him. Kurt finished stretching and took a deep breath and with all his might he kicked the ball.

"Holy shit!" Puck said in surprise.

"He did it!" Finn yelled watching the ball fly off into a distance. Then he frowned. "Wait that was my ball Kurt." He whined.

"Finn! I kicked it! I'm good at something!" Kurt said excitedly. Finn frowned. Was that what this whole thing was about?

* * *

><p>Kurt was excited the whole way home. He was actually good at something! He couldn't have been more happy about that.<p>

"Dude, that kick was awesome." Puck said. "Kinda sucks you're awful at every other aspect of football." Kurt suddenly remembered that and his mood dampened.

"Yeah..." He sighed. Finn noticed the change in Kurt's mood.

"But it doesn't matter. Football just isn't you're thing." Finn told him. Kurt sighed again. When they made it back to their house they heard low voices coming from the kitchen.

"Mom! Kurt lost my football by doing the worlds most amazing kick!" Finn yelled as he headed from the kitchen.

"I'll buy you a new one, we can just play with Noah's next time." Kurt told him.

"Why the hell did you have to tell him my first name?" Puck groaned. They all walked into the kitchen surprised to see Blaine in there with Carole and Burt.

"Hey you." Kurt said in surprise. "What are you doing here?" He asked going over to Blaine.

"I just wanted to see you after Wes' long and draining practice." Blaine said but Kurt felt there was something up. He didn't comment on it though.

"Oh well I'm not complaining." Kurt said with a smile.

"So my son's a football player?" Burt asked with a proud smile. Puck laughed.

"He's definitely not a football player." Puck said, ignoring Kurt's glare. "Well if he went to McKinley he could be kicker and we'd finally win a game."

"Yeah dude, why do you go to school so far away?" Finn asked.

"Because I used to live much closer to Dalton." Kurt said.

"But now you live here. You could be at McKinley." Finn reminded him. Kurt shook his head.

"Public schools aren't for someone like me." Kurt said simply. Finn wondered what that meant.

"So are you going to keep at this football thing?" Carole asked changing the subject.

"I don't think so. It's not something I dream about doing." Kurt shrugged.

"What do you dream about doing?" Finn asked. Kurt looked up to see all eyes on him. Why did this question keep coming up?

"I...don't know." Kurt said sadly.

"How don't you know? Everyone dreams about something." Finn pressed on.

"I just don't Finn." Kurt said sounding a little frustrated.

"Why not?" Finn asked. Kurt slammed his hands on the kitchen counter causing everyone to jump.

"Because for a long time I've been told I'm not going to make it anywhere in my life and that I'm not good enough." Kurt shouted. "I've been told to stop dreaming so much that I'm physically scared to do things I used to enjoy. I don't have a dream Finn! I'm not good at anything and I'm not going anywhere with my life. I'm sorry I'm not like everyone else!" He panted harshly when he was done. Everyone was silent and looking at him with wide eyes. He shook his head and ran out of the kitchen to his room. Finn put his head in his hands.

"Why do I always say the wrong things?" Finn groaned.

"You were just asking. He's been having a bad time with this whole finding out what he wants to do with his life." Burt said calmly.

"Is that why he was playing football?" Blaine asked. Burt nodded.

"I told him he needs a hobby. But I think he expected to find some major change immediately." Burt said. Blaine nodded.

"He seemed kind of put out when I told him what I wanted to do. I should go talk to him." Blaine said. But Puck stood up.

"I got this Anderson." Puck said. Finn frowned.

"Really? All you and Kurt do is insult and argue with each other." Finn pointed out.

"So? He's my boy, gotta help him out when I can." Puck shrugged leaving the room. Blaine frowned after him.

"Did..did he just call Kurt his boy?" Blaine asked.

"Calm down kid. He's not your competition." Burt said patting Blaine's shoulder trying not to laugh at the look on his face.

* * *

><p>"Leave my room." Kurt said in a hard tone. Puck just plopped down on the desk.<p>

"Not until you stop being such an ice queen." Puck said simply. Kurt glared at him.

"I mean it. Get out." Kurt growled. Puck stood his ground.

"No you don't. You desperately want someone to tell you that everything is going to be okay and that you'll find a dream someday." Puck said as if he knew. Kurt narrowed his eyes at him.

"You don't know me." Kurt said.

"You put walls up so people can't hurt you but then they topple over and you explode. Just like you did at Finn." Puck said knowingly. Kurt looked at him in surprise.

"How did you...?" Kurt asked.

"Life isn't easy for everyone." Puck stated. "Listen I see where you're coming from with the whole finding what you want to do shit. I don't know what I want to do with my life either." Puck confessed.

"But.." Kurt stammered. "But you play sports..and you sing..and-"

"All of that means nothing man. It's just something I'm good at." Puck told him.

"But you like to do it." Kurt pointed out.

"I like to shower but am I going to do that for a living?" Puck asked.

"That wasn't really a good example." Kurt mumbled.

"Listen Porcelain. I've had a lot of people on my back saying I'm not going to make it anywhere and that I'll be stuck in this fucking town. And maybe that's why I used to act out all the time and get in trouble...because no one believed in me..so I stopped believing in myself." Puck admitted. Kurt looked away. "I know it's different. Being told by someone who's supposed to care about you that you're nothing special but you have a shitload of people who think you're pretty great. When I joined glee I found those people. I'm still not sure about my future, but I think I'll figure it out soon." Puck said with surety. Kurt looked at him.

"I didn't know you could be so insightful." Kurt joked.

"Don't expect a pep talk everyday Porcelain. I don't like you that much." Puck said. "Now are you gonna come out and apologize to Finn?"

"I will. I just need sometime alone for a while." Puck nodded and left his room. Before long, as expected Blaine came into his room. "You know I was expecting you to come in not Puck." Kurt said.

"I was going to come in but he stopped me." Blaine explained. "You okay?"

"I'm fine." Kurt insisted. "I was just overreacting" Blaine walked to sit down in the chair near Kurt's desk.

"Is this because I had an idea of what I wanted to do?" Blaine asked. Kurt shrugged.

"Only part of it. Julia told me to start thinking of what I wanted to do." Kurt told him.

"Start seems to be a key word. She doesn't want you to plan your whole life Kurt." Blaine said he spun around in the spinning chair and hit the desk making a book fall off the desk. It opened as it fell to the floor and Blaine picked it up and looked at it. "Kurt did you draw these?" He said with awe in his voice. Kurt frowned and got up. It was his sketch book.

"Oh yeah. I was designing outfits. See this one is a modified Warbler blazer because seriously you're like the only one who looks amazing in that thing." Kurt pointed out one of the sketches. Blaine looked at Kurt.

"Kurt! This could be your thing!" Blaine exclaimed. "Maybe you could try making your own outfits. Or..or make a portfolio for colleges or-"

"Blaine!" Kurt interrupted. "It's nothing. They are just stupid sketches." Blaine gave him a calculating look.

"She said something about your drawings too, didn't she?" Blaine guess. Kurt's silence told him he was correct. "Kurt, look at me." Blaine said softly. He took Kurt's hands gently. "I'm so sorry."

"Blaine, just forget about it. I still draw, but it doesn't matter. Like you said I'll figure out what I will do with my life soon." Kurt whispered.

"I just wish you could see what I see in you. You've already found your passions Kurt. You're just scared to pursue them." Blaine said. Kurt looked away.

"Well they can't be my passion if I'm scared of them, can they?" He challenged. Blaine could tell Kurt was closing up on him so he backed off for now.

"We'll talk about this later. I should head home." Blaine said standing up. Kurt gave him a quick kiss on the lips. And walked him out to the front door.

* * *

><p>It was time for Regionals. Kurt was still a little angry at not being aloud to go to Warblers practice. Also he really annoyed at not being told what the set list was. But he let it go because he wanted to enjoy his first time seeing his friends compete. It was a nice change from all the stress he's been going through lately.<p>

"Excited?" Burt asked his son. Kurt smiled and nodded.

"Yeah. If they win they go against Finn's team at Nationals." Kurt told him.

"Do you think they'll win?" Burt asked. Kurt nodded.

"Yeah..they've been practicing really hard. Even though they wont let me into practice..'for my own good.'" Kurt scoffed. He didn't notice his father hiding a huge grin.

"I'm sure your friends had their reasons. Now lets get some good seats." Burt said following Kurt down a row of chairs. They sat down together and waited for things to settle down before the competition started. After the judges were introduced they called out the first group, Aural Intensity.

"I really question the sanity of the people who name these groups." Burt muttered causing Kurt to chuckle. They actually sounded pretty good but their choreography was a bit messy. Kurt knew the Warblers have been working on moving around more, he just hoped they succeeded. They clapped at the end of the set and listened as they introduced the next group, The Unitards. They were really good. Kurt felt a little worried in fact.

"Stop. Your team will be fine." Burt said trying to cease Kurt's worries. "You keep mumbling 'oh my god' under your breath. Just relax, they've got this." Kurt frowned at him.

"You know something don't you?" Kurt accused. Burt just redirected his attention to the stage. Kurt huffed and turned center. He clapped when their set ended and listened anxiously as The Warblers were announced. He watched confused as Wes and Blaine stepped forward.

"The following performances are dedicated to someone in the audience we wish could be up here with us today." Wes began.

"We just want them to know we'll always be there for them and not to worry because everything will be alright." Blaine said with a smile that was directed right towards Kurt. The audience cooed and clapped. Kurt looked up at his father.

"You knew." Kurt stated. Burt shushed him.

"Watch." He said. Kurt chuckled and turned his attention to the stage. They began in their usual formation with Blaine in the center. Before they even began Kurt knew what song it was. It took his back to that day he finally met him.

...

"_Get off me!" Kurt shouted. He squirmed all he could but it didn't seem to work. "Help! Please!"_

"_Shut up faggot." One of the guys holding him spat. He tried to jerk out of their grip but they were too strong._

"_Please don't do this!" Kurt cried. They just laughed and roughly shoved him in the big empty locker. The shut the door quickly._

"_How does it feel to be back in the closet fairy?" The second boy laughed. Kurt could barely breathe in the small confined space._

"_Please." He gasped. "Please let me out..I-I can't breathe." He pleaded. They just laughed more and left. Kurt felt hot tears spilling down his cheeks. He banged on the locker and yelled for help, crying harder when he heard footsteps walk by. They all knew he was in there, but no one would help the gay kid. He didn't know how long he was in there but he saved his energy, as not to pass out, and only occasionally shook the locker door. And out of nowhere two pairs of footsteps stood in front of the door._

"_Jeff, I'll catch up..I think someone is in here." A voice said. Kurt almost cried out in relief. One of the pairs of shoes walked away and basically fell out the locker when it was opened. He gasped for air as he fell to the floor._

"_Oh my gosh! Are you okay?!" The guy asked. Kurt shook his head and couldn't help but sob. The boy looked around before gathering him in his arms. "Hey shhh it's okay...You're fine now..Just let it all out." The guy soothed. Kurt didn't know how long he cried. The boy obviously didn't know what to do and just began singing. _

_You think I'm pretty without any make-up on  
>You think I'm funny when I tell the punch line wrong<br>I know you get me, so I let my walls come down, down  
>Before you met me, I was alright<br>But things were kinda heavy, you brought me to life  
>Now every February you'll be my valentine, valentine<em>

_Soon Kurt was done crying and was looking at the stranger with awe and confusion. No one had ever helped him out before. In fact he was very sure he's never seen this guy before._

"_Who are you?" Kurt asked._

"_I'm Blaine. I was with my friend to pick up his sister who actually goes here and I heard you,and I just had to help you out." Blaine said with a small smile. Kurt was silent. "What's you're name?"_

"_I'm Kurt." Kurt whispered. Blaine smiled wider._

"_It's nice to meet you Kurt."_

_..._

Already Kurt had tears running down his cheeks. This was Blaine's favorite song to sing to him and yet it got to him every time.

_Let's go all the way tonight  
>No regrets, just love<br>We can dance until we die  
>You and I, we'll be young forever<br>You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream  
>The way you turn me on, I can't sleep<br>Let's runaway and don't ever look back  
>Don't ever look back <em>

Everyone cheered as they transitioned into the next song, which was Aftermath by Adam Lambert. Kurt watched as all his friends searched him out in the audience and made eye contact as they song to him. The last song, which blew the roof off the place, was Raise Your Glass by Pink. All of the audience was out of there seats dancing and singing along. Kurt looked up at his friends and felt so proud of them and thankful for them. But there was a nagging feeling inside of him that made him wish he could be up there in someway. He pushed it away and cheered on his group.

* * *

><p>Soon enough it was time to determine the winner. Kurt was squeezing Burt's hand a little too hard as they announced that Aural Intensity was in third place.<p>

"And the winners of this years Regionals competition, who will be going to Nationals in New York are..." The announcer paused for dramatic effect. "The Dalton Academy Warblers!" Kurt was pretty sure he had never been more happy in his life. It was all a blur as he waited so he could congratulate his team.

"Kurt!" He look over through the commotion to see the boys with their trophy. He hurried over to them. He basically tackled Blaine with a hug.

"You guys were amazing! Is that why you didn't let me come to practice?" Kurt asked. Blaine nodded.

"We all wanted to surprise you with this." Blaine said.

"I know it was kind of harsh..but was it worth it?" Wes asked with a guilty look on his face. Kurt pulled away from Blaine to give Wes a hug.

"It was amazing. You guys are the best. I can't believe you did that just for me." Kurt said with a smile.

"We knew how down you've been feeling lately and wanted to cheer you up." Nick smiled at him. Kurt's face hurt from smiling so much as he hugged the rest of the guys. Soon enough Burt showed up with Blaine's family congratulating the team.

"Who's up for a celebratory dinner?" Burt asked. The boys shouted in the affirmative. Kurt felt the nagging feeling again. Though he was a part of this team, he wanted to really feel like he was a part of it again. He pushed the feeling away again so he could enjoy time with his friends.

* * *

><p>Kurt fell to his bed exhausted from all the festivities. It was a wonderful day but he couldn't help but feel a little jealous. He really wished he could be on that stage with his friends. Then he'd have something to actually feel proud of. Kurt thought about what Blaine said earlier..that he was scared to pursue his passions. It reminded him too much of his mom.<p>

...

"_Lizzy we don't have to be here if you don't want to. I told you I have no problem with moving so you can do what ever you want." Burt raised his voice. Kurt sighed as he did his homework. He was tired of his parents fighting all the time._

"_No..It doesn't matter. It isn't going to happen anyways. Besides we have the kid and-" _

"_Will you stop calling him the kid? His name is Kurt." Burt yelled._

"_Calm down Burt. I love Kurt." She defended herself._

"_Yeah well why were you yelling at him for the dirt on his clothes yesterday when he said it was kids in his class who pushed him down because he dressed like a fag?" Burt questioned. Kurt wondered the same thing._

"_Those clothes were expensive and I told you to buy him normal clothes!" She yelled. Kurt flinched at her words. He thought his clothes were normal._

"_Listen, I just want you to be happy. I can run a garage somewhere else. If you want to go somewhere and sing, I'll go with you." Burt said sincerely. Kurt wondered why she wouldn't just say yes._

"_No..I couldn't ask you to change your life for my stupid dream." She brushed off. Burt sighed audibly._

"_Why do you have to be so difficult with this?" He asked._

"_I have my reasons Burt. Now forget about it, it's not important."_

_..._

She would always say her dreams weren't important and then there would be an argument about him. Kurt now knows that he's the reason his mother felt she couldn't achieve her dreams so she never tried.

Which is exactly what he was doing right now. He's scared of failing and never finding a passion and now he's not even trying.

"Oh my gosh." He whispered to himself "I'm **just** like her."

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Tell me what you thought with a review! :) Also let me know if there's anything specific you want to see in future chapters!<strong>

**Hint for next chapter: I haven't started it yet but there is going to me some major angst (as always) next. I can't say much with out spoiling too much. All i can say is that Kurt wont be in the best mental state in the next chapter!**


	19. I'm okay (no i'm not)

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry i took so long! I kept changing around this chapter so it took me a while to finish it completely. So i really hope you love it because i do! Plus it's the longest chapter so far! YAY!**

**Enjoy! ^_^**

* * *

><p>Blaine was worried about his boyfriend. After Regional's, Kurt began to close up on him and everyone else around him. Anytime he would ask Kurt what was wrong he would just brush it off. Kurt occasionally brushes him off but he usually comes around. This time, Kurt remained closed off and Blaine hated that he couldn't do anything about it.<p>

* * *

><p>"Burt, do you know what's going on with Kurt?" Blaine asked Burt one day after school. It was the first time in a while that he came over. Kurt didn't seem to want him over so much anymore.<p>

"No." Burt sighed. "He's not talking or eating much. Kind of like when I brought him home a few months ago." Burt looked towards the couch in the living room where Kurt was sleeping. He would do the same thing everyday. Wake up, get ready for school, skip breakfast, go to school, come home, go to sleep, barely eat his dinner, then go to his room where he probably doesn't even sleep.

"I don't know what to do. He won't let me help." Blaine said sounded distressed. Burt knew how he felt.

"Maybe we should just leave it alone for now. He'll talk to us soon." Burt said but he wasn't really sure. Blaine nodded sadly.

"I think I'll just go home, I'll call Kurt later." Blaine said getting up from the kitchen table.

"You know you don't have to leave kid." Burt said rolling his eyes. Blaine gave him a small smile.

"I know, but I think I will. I'll stay over this weekend though." Blaine said. Burt nodded and patted Blaine's shoulder.

"Good. I'll call you if I get any progress with Kurt." Burt promised.

"Thanks Burt." Blaine said before gathering his stuff and leaving. Burt walked into the living room and stared at his sleeping son wondering what he missed that could have caused Kurt to start acting like this.

* * *

><p>"Hey, what's up with you lately?" Wes whispered as he watched Kurt nodding off in class. Kurt blinked at him.<p>

"Nothing..just tired." Kurt said, looking up at the board wondering when he had gotten to U.S. History class.

"You say that everyday now." Wes said quietly. Kurt sighed.

"Wes nothing's wrong." Kurt told him.

"Well I don't believe you when you say that. None of us do and I hope you know that." Wes told him gently. Kurt narrowed his eyes at him but didn't say anything. He started copying the notes on the board. Wes kept glancing at Kurt until the period ended and they both headed to lunch together. Kurt immediately put his head down on the table like he has been doing lately. Wes watched as the other boys joined them looking extremely worried about their friend.

"What is going on with him?" David said quietly.

"I don't know. I don't think he's been sleeping at night." Blaine said sighing.

"Maybe he's trying to stop the nightmares again." Jeff reasoned.

"He wasn't having them that much." Blaine said but he knew what Jeff said could be a possible reason.

"Maybe seeing us on stage wasn't completely good for him?" Nick said. "I could tell that he enjoyed us singing for him but maybe he wanted to be up there with us."

"Could be it but I doubt he'd completely revert into himself just for that reason." Wes said sounding sure of himself. "It has to be something bigger."

"I'll see if I can get anything out of him this weekend." Blaine said hoping Kurt would speak to him.

* * *

><p>Kurt wasn't asleep at lunch. He could hear all his friends talking about him. He wondered what they would say if he tried to explain what was wrong. He knew they would all say similar things. That he isn't his mother, that he'll never be like her, that he's amazing and blah blah blah. Then he would act like it made him feel better but it wouldn't change his mind because he is turning into her. They just don't know it yet.<p>

Kurt wished he could just be normal. A normal boy with a normal past and normal bad memories and nightmares only as bad as failing an important test. But you can't always get what you want.

He just wished that for a while or at least one night he wasn't traumatized broken Kurt. For one night, he wanted to feel nothing and feel free. But how could that happen?

* * *

><p>"No Finn. No party." Carole said adamantly when Kurt and Blaine walked in the house. Finn groaned and mumbled a sad 'okay' before walking into the living room and collapsing on the couch. "Hey boy's how was your day?" Carole asked from the kitchen.<p>

"It was okay." Kurt said before yawning. "I'm going to take a nap." He said. Blaine sighed.

"Of course you are." He mumbled. Kurt gave him a look.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kurt asked him.

"Nothing Kurt. It's not a surprise since that's all you ever do when you come home now." Blaine said simply. Kurt crossed his arms.

"Well I'm sorry for being tired." Kurt snapped.

"If you could just tell me what's going on maybe you would sleep when you're supposed to." Blaine retorted.

"If you're going to act like this all weekend then you can just leave Blaine!" Kurt glared at him. Blaine glared right back.

"Stop acting like what? Like I care?" Blaine threw his hands up. "Why don't you stop acting like no one can help you? It's like you don't even want things to get better Kurt! It's like you've given up." Blaine shouted. Kurt opened his mouth to respond but instead snapped it shut, shook his head and stomped to his room. Blaine listened as the bedroom door slammed shut but made no move to follow after him.

"I'm sorry about him Blaine. He's been snapping at everyone lately." Carole said coming out of the kitchen.

"I know." Blaine sighed. "I should have handled that better...maybe I should go apologize." Blaine said looking towards the hallway going to Kurt's bedroom.

"Don't apologize if you meant it." Carole said immediately. "When Kurt realizes what he has been doing lately he'll apologize to you." Blaine bit his lip but nodded. He hated arguing with Kurt. It didn't happen to often but when it did it was usually a huge argument that lasted for a while. "Now why don't you watch a little TV with Finn. Dinner will be ready when Burt gets home." Carole said with a warm smile. Blaine did as she suggested. He sat down on one of the couches and watched as Finn scowled at the TV.

"What's wrong with you?" Blaine asked him.

"My mom wont let me go to this party with Puck tonight." Finn said with a sigh. "So Puck's just gonna come over and we'll pay Mario Kart."

"Kurt's the master at that game." Blaine chuckled. Finn laughed as well.

"I know. That's why I hide it whenever he wants to play." Finn joked. "Do you want to play with us. You haven't been around much since Kurt's been like this." Finn said. Blaine smiled and nodded.

"Sure Finn."

* * *

><p>"I WILL BLOW YOU UP ANDERSON IF YOU USE THAT SHELL!"<p>

"DAMMIT COME ON. YOU GUYS ARE CHEATING!"

"I'M GONNA WIN! I'M GONNA WIN!"

"WHAT THE HELL FINN?"

"STOP BEING A SORE LOSER PUCK!"

Burt had been getting used to a quiet house ever sense Kurt started with his set back. So he was surprised and really glad to hear the yelling and screaming when he came home. He walked in the living room and watched as Finn, Puck, and Blaine stood on separate couches shouting at the same game.

"Oh come on! You won again!" Finn plopped down on the couch.

"He was cheating. I was in the lead and he came out of nowhere!" Puck said outraged.

"It's called shortcuts. Learn them." Blaine teased.

"Hey boys." Burt said making himself known. The boys whipped around.

"Hey Burt." They said in unison.

"How's Kurt?" He asked.

"Being stubborn." Blaine answered.

"He's probably sleeping in his room." Finn added.

"Someone get him out. I need to get him to eat something." Burt said with a sigh. Puck hopped up and Blaine raised an eyebrow at him.

"You guys had a fight and I can just pick him up if he wont get out of his room." Puck shrugged walking into the hallway. Blaine looked at Finn and Burt with a 'see what I mean' look.

"Not gay dude." Finn laughed.

"Nothing to worry about Blaine." Burt chuckled. Blaine grumbled to himself.

* * *

><p>"Wake up, Porcelain." Puck said loudly when he walked into Kurt's room.<p>

"I'm up. Now get out." Kurt said from his bed.

"Hummel, I can throw you over my shoulder easily and I know you don't want that." Puck told him and Kurt groaned. "Your dad wants you to eat man."

"Leave me alone." Kurt said. Puck looked at him seriously for a minute.

"What is wrong with you? I mean you're always a little bitchy but seriously man you aren't yourself lately." Puck sounded genuinely concerned.

"Maybe because you guys think you can help me, when you can't." Kurt mumbled. "No one can help."

"Maybe if you'd just tell someone what's wrong.." Puck said quietly. Kurt glared at him.

"It doesn't matter what's wrong! Don't you get it? Even if someone did know how to help me the feeling will always come back! I just want to forget about everything sometimes." Kurt's voice was a whisper by the end of his confession. Puck wondered what feeling Kurt was talking about, but he knew if Blaine couldn't get anything out of Kurt, he couldn't either. But he had a plan.

"I can't help you forget forever but I think I have a temporary solution if you're up for it." Puck said with a smirk on his face.

"The feeling wont go away Puck." Kurt repeated.

"Trust me on this. Tonight you won't feel a thing." Puck promised. Kurt looked at him with interest.

"I'm listening."

* * *

><p>"I've never sneaked out before." Kurt whispered. He had already climbed out of his window and was now in the car with Puck. "I'm going to get in trouble."<p>

"We're out of your house, you can stop whispering already." Puck said rolling his eyes. "And you're not going to get in trouble. We'll be back to your house by 3 in the morning. No one will notice a thing."

"How many times have you done this?" Kurt asked him.

"A lot."

"How many time have you gotten caught?"

"A lot."

"Have you gotten away with it before."

"Yes."

"Are you sure I wont get in trouble?"

"Are done with the questions? Relax. Tonight you aren't Kurt, okay. You are anyone you want to be." Puck said as they pulled up to a house with booming music. Kurt got out of the car and followed Puck inside.

There were dancing bodies everywhere. Kurt never really liked crazy parties before. He much rather go to parties with people he knew. Not just strangers and Puck of all people. But the promise of being able to forget and not having to be himself was too great to pass up.

"It's kind of crazy here." Kurt shouted over the music.

"I know! Isn't it great?" Puck shouted back. He led him through the crowd of people to the kitchen where two girls were waiting. They just happened to be Brittany and Santana.

"So this is the friend you were talking about." Santana said dryly.

"Kurt!" Brittany squealed. She hugged him tightly. "You should dance with me."

"Parties really aren't my thing Britt.." Kurt declined gently. She pouted.

"Porcelain soon you won't remember even saying that." Puck laughed, shoving a cup into his hand.

"What's this?" Kurt asked eying the cup warily.

"Soda." Puck lied. Santana gave Puck a look.

"Can I talk to you for a sec?" She asked and took his arm and brought him to the side. "What are you doing?" She asked.

"Getting him drunk." He shrugged. She looked back Kurt who was taking another cup from Brittany.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" She asked sounding worried. Puck laughed.

"Why wouldn't it be a good idea?" Puck asked and left the question in the air and went back to Kurt.

* * *

><p><strong>-1hr later-<strong>

"Kurt you're an amazing dancer!" Brittany giggled. Kurt threw his arm around Brittany.

"Dancing on tables is fun." He giggled along with her.

"San! Come on you haven't danced all night!" Brittany said when they made it to the kitchen.

"Britt go find Puck for me. I'll watch Kurt." Santana said sweetly. Brittany nodded and danced back into the other room. Santana took Kurt's hand and sat him down.

"Have you ever drank before tonight?" Santana asked him. Kurt laughed.

"Noooo. Have you, missy?" He asked poking her in her side. She smacked his hand away.

"You need to stop okay." Santana said gently. Kurt shook his head and tried to stand up but fell back down.

"My mom used to drink allllll the time. Look how I turned out!" Kurt said smiling widely. Santana's jaw dropped a bit. She remembered when she met Kurt and he mentioned that he was there because his mom abused him.

"Shit." She swore to herself. "Okay we need to sober you up and get you home. So no more drinks." She said taking the cup from his hand. "Drink some water and you'll sleep in the car and we'll take you home."

"No I wanna stay!" Kurt said standing up. He was a little wobbly on his feet.

"Kurt your parents are going to kill you!" She tried to reason with him.

"Mom already tried. She can't try again." Kurt slurred a little. Santana squeezed her eyes shut for a while. She was going to kill Puck. She pulled Kurt down again and waited for Brittany to bring back Puck.

"Santana you're so cuddly." Kurt mused. She had to sit on him to make sure he wouldn't try to leave again. "Like my Blaine."

"Who's Blaine?" She asked with a small amused smile.

"My boyfriend silly." He giggled. "He's mad at me because I wont tell him what's wrong." He whispered loudly.

"Oh?" She questioned looking at him. He nodded solemnly.

"I don't want to be sad Kurt anymore." He said sadly. "I want to be awesome Kurt."

"And who's awesome Kurt?" She asked softly.

"He doesn't cry. He doesn't have." He paused to burp. "..doesn't have nightmares...h-he's not like his m-mom." He stuttered a bit. "He doesn't wish that his mom had actually killed him." He giggled out the last part and Santana's eyes began to water.

"Kurt, honey you are amazing." Santana whispered.

"Now I am." He said proudly.

"No." She shook her head and fixed the hair that fell in front of Kurt's face. "You're an idiot for trusting Puck. You're amazing when you are just you." She said. She barely knew him except for the brief time they met that day at the therapist's office and the one time they hung out after Finn gave her Kurt's number. But just from that she could tell Kurt's great.

"But it hurt's being me sometimes." Kurt said frowning.

"You're going to hurt Kurt. Everyone does. I do too." She said quietly.

"Why?" He asked. Santana took a deep breath.

"Because I'm in love with my best friend and everyone in school thinks it's wrong." She admitted quietly. "And I don't know how to tell her or my family."

"You shouldn't be afraid...she already knows...I'm tired." Kurt yawned. Santana chuckled.

"Sleep now. It's gonna hurt like a bitch when you wake up."

"Always does." He mumbled sleepily. Santana looked at her new friend sadly. Half an hour later Puck and Brittany came in the kitchen.

"He fell asleep?" Puck asked.

"You are a fucking idiot." Santana snapped. "You don't bring someone who was abused by their alcoholic mother to a party like this!"

"What?" Puck asked looking confused.

"Kurt's mother!" She exclaimed. "You didn't know she drank?"

"I may have heard it in passing.." He said quietly. Santana groaned.

"Call Finn to pick us up." She said giving him a hard look. Puck rolled his eyes.

"Alright." He said digging into his pocket for his phone. He dialed a number and put it to his ear.

"Can't talk now Puck." Finn said when he answered the phone.

"Listen I need you to come get me." Puck said.

"I can't right now. Kurt's missing. His window was open and his jacket and phone are gone." Finn said frantically. Puck sighed and mouthed 'we are fucked.' to Santana.

"Finn..I know where he is." Puck said.

"What? Where?" Finn asked sounding relieved.

"At the party...with me, San, and Britt." Puck admitted. Finn went silent.

"What the hell man?" Finn yelled. "Are you crazy?"

"I'm sorry-" Puck started but was cut off.

"Please tell me he isn't drunk." Finn whispered. Puck guessed he was making sure no one heard him.

"I wish I could say that."

"Puck!" Finn reprimanded.

"I know! Santana already yelled at me. Just come get us, Kurt's sleeping now." Puck said. Finn sighed angrily.

"I'm coming. Kurt's dad is going to be furious." Finn told him.

"I know." Puck sighed.

"Just wait for me near your car okay. How long will it take to get to the party?" He asked.

"About 25 minutes." Puck told him. Finn said he'll be there soon and hung up. "Okay I'm going to take Sleeping Beauty to the car and wait for Finn."

"We're coming with you." Santana said grabbing Brittany's hand. "So I can explain to his family that you're an idiot and Kurt's just going through things."

"And you understand him?" Puck challenged.

"Enough to know not to tell him drinking will solve all his problems." She said fiercely.

"When did you get so nice?" He mumbled.

"When you aren't being an asshole all the time you might see that side of me more." Santana stated. "Now shut up and pick him up." She ordered. Puck sighed but obliged.

* * *

><p>"Seriously? You brought Anderson too?" Puck groaned.<p>

"You took my boyfriend to a party with alcohol. What's wrong with you?" Blaine shouted at him. Finn put his hands on his shoulders.

"Calm down Blaine. Just get in the back with Kurt and Santana." Finn said quietly. Blaine glared at Puck hard for a while longer before going back into the car.

"Seriously?" Finn asked, turning to his best friend when Blaine closed his door.

"Man, I already said I'm sorry!" Puck defended himself. " And he chose to drink. That's not my fault, I was just trying to help him forget for a little while."

"There are other ways Puck." Finn told him. "But this was just stupid. You took advantage of him dude. He's been weird all week and you give him a chance to forget about it, he'll take it. It's as much his fault as it is yours. Maybe even more your fault." Finn accused him.

"Dude he isn't a baby. People do things like this all the time." Puck said standing his ground, still not seeing how he was in the wrong.

"Look I didn't understand anything about Kurt." Finn said lowering his voice. "But Kurt's been in a bad situation and while sometimes he just wants to be treated like nothing ever happened to him, you can't just do something reckless like this. It solves nothing." Finn exclaimed before opening the car door. "Now get in." Puck sighed but got in the car. The car was mostly silent except for Kurt's light snores.

"How much did he drink?" Finn asked quietly.

"A few cups." Santana answered. "He's a lightweight, so it didn't take much." Santana bit her lip before adding, "He also said some...interesting stuff."

"Like what?" Blaine asked her, stopping himself for sending death glares in Puck's direction.

"When he wakes up and gets over his hangover I'm sure he'll tell you." Santana said.

"I don't think Burt is going to wait that long to talk to Kurt." Finn mumbled.

"Can we drop Brittany home?" Santana asked. "She lives on the next block." Finn nodded and did so quickly. Soon after they dropped Brittany off, they were pulling into the Hummel's driveway.

"Burt and Carole are in there waiting for an explanation. I didn't tell them Kurt was drunk.." Finn told them quietly. Puck went to the back to carry Kurt again but Blaine glared at him.

"I can carry him." He said. Puck backed off immediately. Finn opened the door and one by one they filed in. Burt and Carole were waiting on the couch. Burt looked furious and Carole looked worried sick. They both stood when they saw everyone walk in. Burt looked at Kurt in Blaine's arms. Blaine went straight down the hall to lay Kurt in his bed and when he came back Burt was yelling.

"What the hell is going on here?" He asked angrily. Finn looked to Puck who avoided his eyes.

"Kurt went to the party with Puck. The one you said I couldn't go to mom." Finn answered for him.

"Is he drunk?" Burt asked getting angrier by the second. Finn opened his mouth to answer but Burt held up his hand. "I want to hear this from the guy that thought it'd be alright to convince my son to sneak out and get drunk." Puck sighed.

"Yes he is but I only put the first drink in his hand." Puck said trying to make a case for himself. Burt shook his head in anger and then looked to Santana.

"Who's this?" He asked.

"I'm Santana sir. I go to school with Finn and Puck." She said. "I also met Kurt in therapy." Puck and Finn looked at her in surprise but she didn't acknowledge them.

"And you were in on this whole thing?" He asked.

"I had no idea he was taking Kurt to this party. But I made sure Kurt stopped drinking after he said some..things..." She said hesitantly.

"What things?" He asked.

"I don't think it's my business to tell." She said simply. Burt narrowed his eyes at her but Carole took Burt's hand.

"Burt, I think we should talk to this in the morning. That way we can hear the whole story." Carole said rationally. Burt sighed deeply but nodded."Finn, you Puck and Blaine sleep in the guest bedroom. Santana can stay in your room." Finn nodded. Everyone went to there respective rooms and tried to get as much sleep as they could before the inevitable conversation in the morning.

* * *

><p>"<em>I see you're already following in my footsteps." Kurt heard a voice say. He didn't know where he was. He looked around but there was nothing around him.<em>

"_Soon you're going to be just like me and you'll understand why I needed to treat you that way." It whispered. He shook his head trying to get the voice to go away._

"_I don't want to be like you!" He screamed. The voice's laugh echoed in his head._

"_Going to that party tonight was a sign, Kurt." It said quietly._

"_I just wanted to forget." Kurt said to the voice but it just laughed again._

"_Oh Kurt. You wont ever forget." The voice said._

"_Why can't you just leave me alone?" Kurt yelled._

"_Because it happened Kurt." The voice said. "You can't undo it." The voice continued to laughed and Kurt tried to cover his ears but it just kept getting louder._

_..._

Kurt opened his eyes slowly. His head hurt. A lot. He pressed his hand to his head to try and stop the constant throbbing. Did he get another concussion?

"Take this, drink this, and come with me to eat." Kurt looked up at the voice and saw Santana handing him water and a pill. Kurt took it without question. He handed the water back but she didn't take it. "You need to drink a lot of water. Trust me you'll feel better. You're lucky you aren't vomiting right now." She said dryly. Kurt tried to remember what happened and it all came back to him in a rush. He went to a party with Puck and got drunk.

"My dad?" Kurt dared to ask.

"Angrier than you've probably ever seen him." She guessed.

"Blaine?" He asked.

"Angry at Puck and probably angry at you but he mostly just wants you to talk to him." She said.

"Is Finn mad at me too?" He asked.

"No. He's just mad at Puck." She said and Kurt nodded. "You ready to get the punished?" She asked.

"No. I just want this headache to go away." Kurt grumbled. Santana smirked.

"Ah. Hangovers are never fun." She said sympathetically. "Come on. The faster you get out there. The faster you can get this over with."

"You're right." Kurt said sighing. He got up slowly.

"So did the forgetting thing work?" She asked. Kurt snorted.

"I remember almost everything I said...I'm sorry you had to hear all of that by the way." Kurt apologized.

"It's okay." She said. "But I suggest telling everyone in there everything because I swear your dad wanted to rip my head off for not telling him what you said." She joked. Kurt laughed softly but stopped due to his headache.

"Again sorry." He said. "I owe you a lot."

"Yes you do." She agreed. "But I think you'll find a way to make it up to me." She winked. Kurt smiled and tried to roll his eyes.

"Let's go get this over with."

* * *

><p>Kurt and Santana walked in the room together. Everyone was in the kitchen waiting for them. Kurt felt himself shaking. Santana grabbed his hand in silent support. He cast her a nervous smile and waited for someone to say something.<p>

"What were you thinking?" Burt asked him. Everyone was looking at him.

"I...i wasn't really." Kurt began. Burt laughed humorlessly.

"Obviously." Burt said.

"Burt let him talk." Carole said. Burt sighed but quieted down.

"I just wanted to forget about...everything...so I went with Puck...and I drank until I couldn't remember why I was feeling so horrible." Kurt admitted.

"So you couldn't talk to anyone?" Burt asked him with disbelief.

"No one understands.." Kurt said.

"You never give anyone a chance to." Burt said. "For a while now you've been moody and miserable waiting to snap at anyone who tries to help."

"What do you want me to say?" Kurt asked his dad incredulously. "That I don't want to be myself? That sometimes I wish she killed me because then I wont be haunted by her everyday? That I'm afraid I'm going to be just like her? I already have nothing to do with my life, now I'm drinking, next I'm gonna hit someone for no goddamn reason and I don't want to but it just wont stop! I can't stop feeling like this and it hurts!" Kurt shouted with tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry for being stupid and irresponsible but I just wanted it to stop." Kurt sobbed. Santana immediately pulled him into a hug as he cried. She rubbed his back soothingly.

"Shh..it's okay. You're going to be okay." Santana whispered. Burt was no longer angry, he was worried about all this pent up emotion his son just released. Carole was wiping her eyes and Blaine was looking at Kurt devastated. Puck looked really guilty, finally knowing exactly why Kurt wanted to forget.

"Come here son." Burt said gently. Santana pulled away and ushered Kurt over to Burt. "You are **not** your mother. You can do anything you want with your life and as long as you have us we'll make sure you're on the right track. Okay?" Kurt nodded not trusting his voice. "I know words are just words and they don't necessarily help, but you need to talk to us. I'm serious when I say this Kurt. There are certain things you keep to yourself and then there are things that should be known and this was definitely a situation where you should have come to me, or Carole, or Blaine, or any one of your friends to talk about." Burt said in a serious tone. Kurt nodded again and wiped the tears still falling from his eyes.

"I'm sorry." Kurt whispered. Burt stood up to give his son a hug.

"I know." Burt told him. "No punishment this time..just never do it again. Okay?" Kurt nodded.

"You don't have to worry about that. I never want another hangover." Kurt joked through his tears. Burt snorted.

"I bet." He laughed before getting serious again. "Puck you're banned from the house for a month."

"Dad no. That's not fair." Kurt said. Burt frowned.

"The whole reason this happened was because he was the one who took you to this party." Burt reminded him.

"Yes, but I would have still been in my room miserable and moody if I hadn't gone." Kurt said. Burt rolled his eyes.

"2 weeks you can't come over Puck." Burt said. "Finn you can drive him home, but come right back. Finn nodded and Puck could not be happier to leave. Burt looked over to Santana.

"Thanks for looking after him." He said.

"I had nothing better to do." She shrugged. Kurt rolled his eyes. "I'll text you later Porcelain, I'm gonna catch a ride with the guys." She hugged him one final time and left with Finn and Puck. Burt and Carole stood to leave the room.

"Talk to each other." Burt ordered playful as he and Carole left. Kurt looked over to Blaine but then looked down.

"I'm really sorry." Kurt whispered.

"Why couldn't you tell me all that before?" Blaine asked him. "You know I would have helped you."

"I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't think talking about it would help." Kurt told him truthfully.

"So arguing and ignoring it was your best bet?" Blaine asked.

"I'm sorry. I should have talked to you. But Blaine how hard was it for you to talk about how you felt after you were attacked at your school dance?" Kurt questioned. Blaine sighed.

"I know..I get where you're coming from. I just always want you to know I'm there for you. When you weren't talking to me I felt like I wasn't doing enough for you." Blaine said softly. Kurt smiled sadly and placed his arms around Blaine's neck.

"You do too much for me Blaine. I don't deserve it, especially not lately." Kurt said.

"You'll deserve it for as long as we live." Blaine smiled. Kurt kissed him gently for that.

"Do you think I'll ever stop worrying about becoming like her?" Kurt asked, voice barely above a whisper.

"I don't think you're ever going to be anyone but Kurt. You might have a nagging feeling every now and then but I'll be there to remind you that you are Kurt and you'll never be anyone else." Blaine said softly before pressing a gentle kiss to Kurt's lips. Kurt smiled happily.

"I missed kissing you." Kurt murmured. Blaine hummed.

"Me too." He said resting his arms around Kurt's waist.

"Not in the kitchen boys." Burt yelled from the living room. "Got to your room with the door open!" They both laughed quietly.

"But seriously are you okay now?" Blaine asked. "I know you'll need a lot more than this little intervention to feel better."

"I'm okay for now. But I think I'll get better if I talk to you guys more." Kurt said sounding sure of himself. Blaine smiled and kissed Kurt's cheek.

"That's all we ask."

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you guys liked this chapter! Let me know what you thought with a review! :)<strong>

**Hint for next chapter: Haven't started yet but it's either going to get angstier (is that a word?) or maybe some fluff and happy moments. Any preferences?**

**Thanks for reading! ^_^ it really means a lot to me!**


	20. Happy Birthday Kurt

**A/N: Hey guys! I'm so sorry i took so long with this update. I've been super busy lately but I've finally finished this chapter. It's kind of filler but it's a cute little chapter.**

**Enjoy it!**

* * *

><p>"Kiddo. Wake up." Burt whispered shaking his son. Kurt groaned and pulled the covers over his head.<p>

"Go away." Kurt mumbled.

"Wake up. It's an important day." His dad chuckled.

"Sunday is my sleep in day dad." Kurt grumbled. Burt rolled his eyes and pulled his covers off.

"It's May 27th! Do you know what that means?" Burt teased. Kurt narrowed his eyes at him.

"Dad." He whined. "I just wanna sleep."

"You know every other kid would be excited to turn 17." Burt said with a laugh. Kurt's eyes widened.

"Oh." He breathed. "Guess I forgot about that." Burt looked at him in confusion.

"Why would you forget about that?" Burt asked.

"Dad I haven't had a birthday for like 7 years now." Kurt said as if it were obvious. Burt should have guessed that but it still shouldn't mean that it didn't matter.

"Well we're gonna change that." Burt said with a smile. "Get up and get dressed." He said before leaving the room. Kurt stared after him wishing he could be as excited as his father seemed. But his history with birthday's haven't been the greatest.

...

_**Age 10**_

_Kurt hopped out of bed, excited to see what he got for his birthday. Usually his mom and dad would ask him to write on thing on a paper and he would get that gift, plus a bunch of others. So this time he put his dad on his list. He ran to his mother's room and sadly it was empty._

"_Maybe she's in the kitchen!" Kurt said to himself. He hurried in the opposite direction. She was in the kitchen drinking from her coffee cup._

"_Mom! It's my birthday!" He said jumping up and down._

"_I know." She said with a tight smile. "Here's your present sweetie." She said giving him a small box. He frowned when he looked at it._

"_Daddy can't fit in here." He said. She sighed._

"_I already said your father isn't coming here Kurt." She said standing up. She leaned down to kiss his forehead. "While I'm gone what do you do?"_

"_Homework, chores, and don't answer the door for anyone." He mumbled. She pat his head. _

"_Good." She smiled. "I'll see you after work sweetie." She grabbed her bag and left the house. Kurt watched her leave before he opened the box to find a movie that he already had. He sighed sadly, wishing the present had been his dad._

_..._

_**Age 15**_

"_Happy birthday!" Blaine exclaimed. Kurt looked at him in surprise._

"_How did you know?" He asked. _

"_It's on facebook." Blaine shrugged then nudged his boyfriend. "How come you didn't tell me?"_

"_It's not important...I don't really celebrate it." Kurt told him. Blaine frowned._

"_Why not?" Blaine asked._

"_I haven't really had a birthday since I was 9." Kurt told him. "So it's just another day." Blaine's frown deepened. "Seriously Blaine, It's not important."_

"_Well, would you at least take a last minute present?" Blaine asked with a hopeful smile._

"_Blaiiine. You didn't have to." Kurt rolled his eyes. "I haven't gotten a gift in forever."_

"_Well you deserve one." Blaine smiled. He gave Kurt a small gift bag. "It's not much but I really hope you like it." Kurt removed the tissue paper covering the gift. He pulled out a frame with a picture of both of them on their first date._

"_Blaine...this is amazing." Kurt said sounding speechless._

"_It's okay..I wish I had more time to think of a better gift." Blaine said. Kurt shook his head and gave him a peck on the lips._

"_I love it." He said with a smile. He brought the picture home after school and put it on his desk. He smiled at the memories the picture gave him. _

"_What is that?" He turned around at the sound of hi mother's voice. It was weird to see her because for the past few birthday's she would get home extremely late._

"_A..uh..gift from Blaine..." He told her. She raised an eyebrow._

"_For what?" She demanded to know._

"_M-my birthday." He whispered. _

"_Oh that was today?" She said in a bored tone. She went over and pick up the picture. "How sweet." She said sarcastically._

"_Mom please don't-" Kurt squeezed his eyes shut as he heard the glass break. He looked down at his feet to see a bunch of broken glass._

"_Clean it up and put that picture somewhere I don't have to see it." She spat before leaving the room. He sighed and did as he was told. _

"_Another birthday ruined."_

_..._

_**Age 16**_

_Kurt kept his eyes trained to the ground as he stepped into class. He was wearing a pair of dark sunglasses and all of his teachers were informed that he had permission to wear them. It was art class and sadly for Kurt all of his friends were in this class with him._

"_What's with the glasses birthday boy?" Wes asked when he saw his friend. Kurt sat down in between him and Blaine._

"_Nothing." Kurt said immediately. _

"_Kurt." Blaine said in his 'I know you're lying' tone. Kurt sighed._

"_Mom was having a bad morning." Kurt said in a low voice making sure only his friends could hear him. He took off his glasses and showed them his eye. They collectively gasped at how bad it look._

"_Dammit Kurt." Jeff swore. "You need to get some ice on that." _

"_It looks worse than it feels." Kurt said putting his glasses back on. The boys all shared a look._

"_Baby..don't you think it's time to just tell someone." Blaine said hesitantly. Kurt shook his head quickly._

"_Kurt." David said. "Come on, this is serious."_

"_And it's your birthday." Nick added._

"_I don't care about my birthday Nick." Kurt said with a sigh. "I'm okay, there's no reason to tell anyone about this."_

"_Kurt how long do you think you can keep this up before the teachers notice or the headmaster notices?" Blaine asked rationally. "It's a lot more than some unfortunate accidents, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and being clumsy."_

"_How exactly did you explain this one?"Wes asked him._

"_Baseball to the eye..." Kurt said with embarrassment. They guys groaned. "I promise I'll be okay guys. Just trust me okay...In a couple of years I won't have to live with her anymore and I won't have to make all these stupid excuses." Kurt promised but the one thing that was on all of their minds was hope that he would actually make it that long._

_..._

Kurt sighed and got out of bed. He threw on some clothes and left his room not knowing what to expect. He walked into the kitchen to find Blaine cooking.

"Blaine?" Kurt questioned. He had no idea why his boyfriend was here. He knew he wasn't big on birthday's anymore. Blaine turned around and smiled at Kurt.

"Hey birthday boy." Blaine teased. Kurt sighed.

"Blaine." He said. "You know I don't care about my birthday." Blaine turned the heat off on the oven and approached Kurt.

"I know. I know." Blaine assured him. "And I know you don't think its important. But just think of how disappointed you were at first when you stopped having them. While you were disappointed, Burt was wondering what you were doing and what you wanted. I think he just wants to make up for the years he missed." Blaine told his boyfriend. Kurt bit his lip thinking about Blaine's words. He's gotten used to not having a special day about him. He didn't need it. But maybe for his dad it was about more than that.

"So am I supposed to act like I care about all this? I mean it's nice but I don't need it." Kurt murmured.

"Exactly. You don't need it, you deserve it." Blaine said grabbing Kurt's hands and pulling him closer. "Today is all about you because you deserve a stress free day where we spoil you." Blaine told him before kissing him softly. "Just enjoy yourself." Kurt smiled at Blaine warmly.

"Happy birthday man!" Finn said excited when he came into the kitchen. He stopped when he saw how close Kurt and Blaine were. "Oh sorry were you guys making out? I could just take some food and come back later." Finn said. Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Just sit and eat Finn." Kurt said taking a seat as well, while Blaine got plates for everyone.

"How does it feel to be 17 Kurt?" Finn asked.

"No different than 16." Kurt answered, voice monotone. Finn frowned at him.

"Am I missing something?" He directed his question towards Blaine.

"Hasn't had a birthday since he was 9 and claims they aren't important to him anymore." Blaine told Finn. Kurt narrowed his eyes at Blaine.

"I don't _claim _that they aren't important. They just aren't." Kurt said defensively.

"It's an excuse to get presents and cake." Finn said in an offended tone. "What more could a person want?"

"A decent life were I don't get the shit end of the stick for once?" Kurt said sarcastically. Finn immediately backed off.

"What Kurt means is that he hasn't had any of that in years." Blaine said trying ease the tension between the two. "So he doesn't expect to have it again."

"That's stupid." Finn said and continued when he saw the dark look on Kurt's face. "I mean you have a real family now. Why wouldn't they do anything nice for you?" Finn asked. Kurt pondered what Finn said. He did have a point. But why was it so hard for him to realize he deserved something so simple?

"Can we just eat?" Kurt muttered, choosing to ignore Finn's question. The boys ate together quietly. Before they were done Finn and Blaine shared a look that Kurt missed.

"Hey uhh do you want to come with me to the backyard and play some football?" Finn said eyes shifting between Kurt and outside of the kitchen.

"Sure lets go." Blaine said immediately, linking Kurt's arm with his own. Finn did the same with his other arm. Kurt looked at both of them.

"What the hell are you two doing?" He asked them. They ignored him in favor of dragging him towards the back of the house.

"Stop struggling!" Finn groaned. "You're much stronger than you look." Kurt glared at him. They managed to get Kurt out of the house and they smiled when they saw Kurt's face.

"What's all this?" He asked, his voice just above a whisper. In the backyard was a banner that said 'Happy Birthday Kurt', his friends from school, Santana, Brittany, Puck (who was finally allowed back over after a few weeks), his father, and Carole.

"Your birthday party." Blaine whispered in his ear just before everyone began singing happy birthday to him. He knew most people wouldn't cry during a time like this but when you've been deprived of simple pleasures for so long, you forget how warm it makes you feel inside.

"Oh god he's crying. Did we sing off key or something?" Finn said after they finished the song. Blaine rolled his eyes.

"Baby? Are you okay." Blaine asked gently, knowing his boyfriend was probably just overwhelmed at the moment.

"I'm fine...I-I just got something in my eye." Kurt said turning away from them. Burt walked up to his son with a hesitant smile on his face.

"Hey bud. I know you weren't too excited this morning, so I really hope this isn't to much for you." he said. Kurt gave his father a watery smile before going in for a hug.

"Thank you." He whispered.

"I was promised cake...so can we get to that already." Puck called out. Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Still walking on thin ice Puckerman. Don't make me kick you out again." Burt threatened. Puck held is hands up in defense.

"Presents first and then cake." Carole said directing Kurt to the table full of presents.

"Open mine first Dolphin!" Brittany said handing a bag to Kurt. Burt looked at Finn and Blaine who only shrugged. Kurt took the bag and searched inside and was happy to find a bunch of scarves.

"Thanks Britt!" He said giving her a hug. Santana was next to hand him a bag. He opened the bag and found a cute shirt and leather pants.

"They're really cute but where would I wear them?" He asked his friend with a laugh. She squeezed his shoulder.

"It's not where you wear them, it's who you wear them for." She responded, glancing at Blaine with a suggestive wink, laughing when both he and Kurt blushed.

"Ooookay next gift." Burt interrupted. Puck got up and handed him a bag.

"You might want to open this one in private." Puck said. Blaine glared at him and both him and Burt grabbed the bag.

"Next." They said in unison. One by one the rest of his friends came by and gave him their presents. He couldn't remember having a day like this in his life where he just felt like a kid. A normal happy kid. It was amazing.

"Okay my turn." Blaine said handing him a tiny box.

"I'm pretty sure I said no marriage." Burt said. Carole hit his arm playfully.

"Stop it." She chastised him.

"If it's a ring my answer is yes." Kurt breathed.

"No it isn't." Burt said and Carole rolled her eyes and shushed him.

"It isn't an engagement ring." Blaine laughed. "Just open it." Kurt opened the box to find gum wrapper ring. Kurt looked up at Blaine in shock. "It's a promise ring...I know it isn't the most amazing present but I just wanted something that you'd remember and you're really hard to shop for and I _oof_-" Blaine's long nervous rant was cut off by Kurt basically tackling him with a hug.

"I love it Blaine." He whispered. "I really love it."

"I'm glad." Blaine said giving his boyfriend a quick kiss.

"This is really a beautiful moment and all but I came here for the cake." Puck said eventually. Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Okay I guess it's cake time!" Kurt yelled causing everyone to cheer.

* * *

><p>"Okay I know you probably want to get back out there with your friends but I have one more present for you." Burt told his son. He pulled him away from the small party to take him inside.<p>

"Dad, you've already gotten me so much." Kurt said. "I don't deserve all of this."

"Kid sit down for a second." Burt sighed. Kurt's been saying things like that all day and it breaks his heart that his son doesn't realize how much he deserves. "Why do you keep saying that? Why wouldn't you deserve anything?"

"I-" Burt doesn't let Kurt finish.

"Have you ever done anything that made anyone think you don't deserve anything?" Burt questioned him.

"Like boys, have a high singing voice, exist-" Kurt begins to list.

"I mean things you can control." Burt cut him off. Kurt sighed.

"Not that I can think of." Kurt said quietly.

"I know things were terrible with your mother Kurt. But you have us now and to us you deserve everything. And just because you don't think so, doesn't mean you're right." Burt told him. "We're going to keep doing things like this for you until you finally understand." Kurt chuckled at that.

"I just never had a day like this for me." Kurt confessed.

"Well as long as I have anything to do with it, every chance I get you'll have a special day because I love you." Burt said then he slid over some keys. Kurt looked at him in confusion.

"What's this for?" He asked.

"Those are for your car." Burt said unable to hold back a smile.

"Seriously?" Kurt exclaimed, jumping up to engulf his dad in a hug. "Oh my gosh! Thank you so much."

"Anything for you kid."

* * *

><p>"I can't believe I got a car." Kurt murmured. He was laying down on his bed next to Blaine. "How is today even real?"<p>

"Because you're real." Blaine teased. Kurt rolled his eyes. "It's really nice to see you smile so much. Today you were just so happy and that makes me really happy."

"It's just so surreal." Kurt shook his head almost in disbelief. "Every year I would tell myself that if my dad wanted me he would find me." Blaine moved closer to him and took his hand. "Then my mom told me he died on my 13th birthday and I felt so betrayed because I thought I was stuck with her. And now I'm with my dad in place where I feel safe and can bring you around and I just had my first birthday in forever." Kurt sighed dreamily, feeling content. "I'm just really happy." Blaine smiled brightly and kissed him softly.

"I'm so glad." He whispered.

"Why? Because I deserve it?" Kurt said in a mocking tone. Blaine chuckled.

"Yes." He admitted. "But also because you've made it so far. You're so amazing." Kurt giggled and kissed his boyfriend sweetly before pulling away and whispering.

"You know I never thought I'd have a day that I'd call the best day of my life. And now I think I have one."

"Well all you can do now is top it." Blaine said.

"I don't think I could ever have a day better than this." Kurt said honestly.

"I don't know. I'm pretty sure we'll all try to make you smile at least twice as much next year." Blaine said cheekily.

"I don't think that's possible." Kurt challenged.

"Let's make a bet. If this time next year you change your mind and say you're 18th birthday is the best day of your life then you have to sing one song with me. But if you don't then I won't wear hair gel for a month." Blaine decided. Kurt bit his lip, contemplating the bet.

"Deal." He finally agreed.

"Kiss on it?" Blaine asked with a smirk. Kurt chuckled.

"Of course." Kurt said smiling into the kiss Blaine pulled him into. Yeah, he had no idea how they were going to top this day.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you liked this chapter. Sorry it was kind of short though. Let me know what you thought by leaving a review! :)<strong>

**Hint for next chapter: I haven't started but i think i might do a time jump. I might go into just before Kurt's senior year. But not sure yet.**

**Alsooo did any of you see the latest episode of Glee that Chris wrote? I looooved it! It was amazing!**

**And one more thing...if any of you could recommend me some fluffy klaine fics i'd love you forever! Thank you!**

**Hopefully i'll update in about a week! **


	21. A Year

**A/N: I took forever to update didn't i? Sorry! But i have this awesome chapter now :) Thank you everyone who reviewed that last chapter! I'm glad you all liked seeing Kurt happy. ****Unfortunately, that doesn't last for long. But don't worry our Kurt is strong! :) (Also thanks to everyone who recommended me fics! I really appreciated that!)**

**So I hope you enjoy this chapter! **

**Warnings: A tinsy bit of violence and also a time jump. This chapter takes place some time in July.**

* * *

><p>"Kurt? Come on kiddo, you've been in there all day." Burt knocked on his son's door for the third time in an hour. He assumed he was just tired or something but he usually came out by the second knock. He knew Kurt sometimes had his days where he just wanted to be alone but they've been off to a good summer.<p>

He sighed when there was no response. He was about to knock again when the doorbell rang. He hurried to get it when he noticed Finn was preoccupied with his video games and Carole was still in the bedroom. He wasn't surprised at all to see Blaine but the sullen expression on his face was surprising.

"It's been a year." Blaine stated. Burt froze, processing what he just heard. It's been a year since Kurt had been brutally beaten and left for death. It's been a year since Elizabeth killed herself. It's been a year since everything's gone down.

"Shit." Burt swore and he quickly let Blaine in.

"I don't know how he's going to react." Blaine said sounding nervous. "Is he out of his room right now?"

"No." Burt shook his head. "He's been in his room all morning."

"Maybe we should just wait until he decides to come out." Blaine suggested. "He could be okay, we never know." Blaine didn't look as sure as he sounded.

"Yeah.." Burt agreed reluctantly. They both decided to just sit in the living room and wait until Kurt decided to show himself. That was until a few minutes turned into an hour and Kurt still hadn't gotten out of his room.

"Okay, I think I'll go check on him." Blaine said. He made his way down the hall and to Kurt's room. He knocked on it a few times. "Kurt? Are you alright in there?" When he got no response he decided to turn the knob a bit. It opened right away. He walked in and felt panicked when there was no sign of Kurt. Before freaking out, he noticed a calendar and a piece of paper on Kurt's bedside. He looked at the calendar and saw the current date circled. Then he picked up the tear stained letter and read it.

_**Dear Blaine,**_

_** I know you were the only one who thought of actually turning the knob to get in my room. I don't mean to worry any of you. I just don't know how to feel today. I don't have a mother anymore. But I kind of realized that I haven't ever really had a mother. Your mother and Carole love me way more than she ever did. And it hurts but I feel like a bad person to not mourn. I also feel bad because in a way I feel like her death was my fault. If I wasn't myself everything would have been fine. But it's too late for that.**_

_** I'm just really emotional right now and I had to leave. I needed some kind of closure. I think you know where to find me. I love you..**_

_** Kurt**_

Blaine read the note wishing that Kurt was here to actually tell him all of this stuff. He was glad that Kurt actually wanted him to find him.

"Did he run away again?" He whipped around to find Burt looking at the note in his hand.

"Not really." Blaine handed Burt the note. "He's expecting me to come find him." He watched as Burt read the note.

"Well where do you think he's at?" Burt asked.

"It's going to take a while to get there." Blaine told him.

"Then we better get going."

* * *

><p>An hour later, Blaine and Burt arrived at a cemetery.<p>

"So..this is where she was buried?" Burt grunted. Blaine nodded.

"Yeah...not far from their house either. He lived a few blocks away." Blaine said. Burt looked around. He didn't exactly know how to feel either. He wasn't given much time to even process that his ex wife is dead. He completely understood now why Kurt was so conflicted.

"Did he actually go to the funeral?" Burt asked. Blaine shook his head.

"He was still in the hospital." Blaine explained as they walked into the cemetery. "Her side of the family went. Kurt said they never liked him because he was gay. They blamed him for driving her crazy." Burt shook his head angrily.

"They were always so judgmental." Burt muttered. "Never wanted us to get married either."

"Why not?" Blaine asked curiously.

"Because they didn't think she could be happy with me." Burt admitted. They both stopped when they saw Kurt at a distance. He was sitting a few feet away from a grave. His head in hands and his body shaking hard. They listened for a while, not knowing whether or not to disturb him just yet.

Kurt has been here for hours now. For the first hour he just sat there. He didn't know what to say, he didn't know how to feel. He knew sooner or later Blaine or his dad would come find him. But how could he explain how he was feeling if he didn't even know how he was feeling. He vaguely heard footsteps in the background but just continued freaking out aloud.

"You were so horrible to me. I really really want to hate you. I should hate you." Kurt sobbed into his hands. "But I don't think I do." He tried to wipe his face but his tears just kept coming. "I have so many questions for you. So many things to say. And it's not fair that I don't get to have an answer." Kurt cried. "It's not fair that I can't hate you after all that you did to me."

Kurt jerked violently away from the hand he felt on his shoulder. He looked up and saw Blaine and right behind him Burt. He tried to wipe away the evidence of his tears again.

"I'm sorry." His voice broke. Blaine sat down next to him and Burt on his other side.

"Keep going kiddo. We're here for you." Burt told him. Kurt looked up at him.

"You guys don't think I'm stupid for being here?" Kurt whimpered.

"Of course not." Burt scoffed.

"You're allowed to feel this way Kurt." Blaine said softly taking his hand.

"Any other sane person would be able to hate someone who tries to kill them and makes their life a living hell." Kurt mumbled. "Why can't I?"

"Because you always try to see the good people." Burt began. " She was your mother Kurt. It takes a lot to hate someone you love."

"I don't love her." Kurt said immediately. "I-I haven't for years. I just don't hate her and I really want to."

"Does it really matter?" Blaine asked him softly. "I mean she's gone. She can't ever physically hurt you again. You can always hate all of the things she's done to you but not actually hate her." Kurt pondered that for a while. He hated the fact that she hurt him as much as she could. He hated the fact that she didn't love him.

"I guess it doesn't matter but it still hurts." Kurt responded.

"When I first heard about what Elizabeth did to you I wanted to hate her too." Burt admitted to his son. "I was so angry at her for taking you away from me like that."

...

"_I think I'll be okay with you keeping Kurt." Elizabeth whispered, looking out the window of their bedroom._

"_It's for the best." He said simply. He didn't always agree with the way she treated Kurt. "You know you don't have to leave."_

"_We're divorced. Why would I stay?" She asked him softly. He shrugged. The word 'divorce' still hurt, but they both weren't happy together like they were before._

"_Well just know you can come back and visit Kurt. He'll want that." Burt told her. She nodded._

"_I'll think about it." She said simply. He turned out the light and got into bed. "I'll go say goodbye to him right now." Burt merely nodded. She walked out of the bedroom quietly. Burt never heard her come back in the room that night. _

_The next morning he woke up feeling a little uneasy. He got out of bed, showered, and got dressed for work. Then he went down the hall to Kurt's room. The door was already open. His blood ran cold as he saw a good amount of Kurt's things were gone. He barged into his closet and felt lightheaded when he saw Kurt's suitcase was missing as well. _

"_No." He whispered to himself. "Please tell me she didn't." He sat down on Kurt's bed in shock. Elizabeth didn't go to say goodnight to Kurt. She had gone to get him ready to leave him even after they came to the mutual decision that Kurt was better off with him. _

_Elizabeth was gone._

_Kurt was gone._

_His only son was gone and he had no idea where he was._

_..._

"I will never forgive her for that." Burt said shaking his head. "But everyday I just tried to trust that you'd be alright, that you'd both be alright. And neither of you were..but I didn't hate her. I was just angry and disappointed. But instead of trying to figure out why she did what she did, I just focused on you and helping you because that's all that really mattered to me." Kurt looked at him with watery eyes.

"But it's different for me...i don't have anything to focus on." Kurt mumbled.

"Not true. In a few weeks you'll be a senior which means thinking about college and what you want to do. Just focus on that instead of trying to find closure in a place where you'll never find the answers you want." Burt told his son. He squeezed his shoulder gently. Kurt nodded to himself.

"Can you guys give me a minute?" He asked softly. Blaine kissed his cheek softly.

"Sure baby." He said. Blaine and Burt both got up and headed to the car while Kurt stayed a few more minutes.

"Do you think he'll be okay?" Blaine asked Burt. Burt shrugged.

"I hope so. I think he just needs some time." Burt said putting an arm around Blaine's shoulder while they walked to the car.

"I just hate that things don't seem to get much easier for him." Blaine muttered.

"Hey why don't you invite your friends from Dalton over. I'm sure they'll make Kurt feel a bit better." Burt suggested. Blaine smiled and nodded.

"That's a great idea."

* * *

><p>"Hey guys." Blaine greeted his friends when they came to the door.<p>

"Do you live here now? Seriously you answered the door like it's your own house." Jeff joked. Blaine rolled his eyes.

"You know my parents work during the day, so it's much less lonely here." Blaine defended himself.

"We know Blaine. It's just too fun to tease you." David smiled.

"Where's Kurt?" Wes asked.

"He's in the shower. He doesn't know you guys are here but hopefully he wont mind." Blaine said leading them to the living room where Finn and Puck were watching TV.

"Don't you guys ever invite any girls over?" Puck wondered aloud rolling his eyes.

"Puck they're here to make Kurt feel better." Finn told him. He noticed how emotional Kurt seemed earlier when he got home.

"The guy is always sad or angry or something." Puck groaned. "I'm just saying I would much rather be around fun people than someone who's always going to bring my mood down."

"That's not a nice thing to say." Nick frowned.

"Oh come on. You all know it's true." Puck said. "Kurt's my boy, but no one wants to be around a drama queen all the time."

"If he were really your 'boy' then you would be more sympathetic." Wes said with a raised eyebrow.

"He's not special. Everyone has a hard life. He should learn to suck it up sometimes." Puck said ignoring glares that were sent his way.

"Well not everyone is capable of sucking things up like that." Blaine spat.

"Well I don't know that seems like something Kurt would be great at." Puck said suggestively. Blaine saw red. He didn't always like Puck. Sometimes he got a little jealous when talked to Kurt. He felt like he was a bad influence on Kurt. Sure maybe he was a good friend sometimes but other times, like this, he just wanted to punch him. Which is what he did.

"Blaine calm down!" Finn said jumping up to try and grab Blaine but Puck was already hitting back. "Shit. Puck stop it! You're gonna hurt someone." Puck had already hit Blaine in the stomach twice but Blaine wasn't going down without a fight it seemed. He had grabbed Puck and knocked him into a wall.

"Blaine! Stop!" Wes said trying to pull Blaine off of Puck. Blaine loosened his hold and Puck grabbed hold of Blaine instead, crashing him into the end table near the hallway. A picture of Burt and Kurt fell off the edge and broke but they never noticed it. They just continued wrestling. Neither of them noticed Kurt walking out of his room. Kurt was on his phone not watching where he was going, walking into the living room.

"Kurt! Watch out!" Nick screamed just a second before both Puck and Blaine shove Kurt to the wall thinking it was one of the other boys who were trying to stop them from fighting. Both Puck and Blaine are pulled apart easily after they hear Kurt's back hit the wall.

"Dammit." Finn cursed walking up to Kurt quickly. He was looking at all of them with fear in his eyes. "Kurt? Buddy are you okay?" He tried to place a hand on his shoulder but Kurt scrambled away from him.

"D-d-don't hurt me." He said in a small voice. "P-please d-don't hurt me."

"Kurt, baby we're so sorry! We didn't mean to-" Blaine immediately forgot his anger and tried to comfort his boyfriend. His heart broke when Kurt tried to get as far away from him as possible.

"Porcelain it was a mistake." Puck said grabbing the boy's arm to help him up but he let got when Kurt screamed. This caused Carole and Burt to hurry into to the room from where they were relaxing in the backyard.

"What's going on in here?" Carole asked taking in the scene in front of her. Kurt was on the floor away from the other boys, the living room looked a mess, there was broken glass on the floor, and everyone looked sort of guilty and scared.

"It was an accident." Blaine and Puck say simultaneously. Burt ignores them in favor of crouching down to Kurt's level.

"Kurt?" Burt whispered softly. "Are you okay?"

"She's coming back to hurt me." Kurt whimpered.

"Kiddo you're okay." Burt said. "You're safe."

"Not safe. Not ever safe." Kurt said curling in on himself. Burt looked at the boys with a deadly expression.

"What did you guys do?" He growled.

"Sir, Blaine and Puck got into a dispute and kind of acted out irrationally." Wes said since no one spoke up.

"Irrationally how?" Burt said, wanting to know what caused his son to look so afraid.

"They got into a fight." Finn sighed. "We tried to stop it but they were both really angry. So that's why the living room is messed up. And they weren't paying attention to Kurt coming out of his room, and Kurt wasn't paying much attention either. So they just thought he was one of us trying to stopped the fight so they shoved him away." Finn rambled and Burt cast his glare to Blaine and Puck.

"All of you in the kitchen." He ordered and they all hurried out of the room. He looked to Carole apologetically. "Do you think you could comfort Kurt. He doesn't seem to realize what's going on." Carole was nodding before he even finished his sentence. She kissed his cheek gently.

"Don't be too hard on them." She said before sitting next to Kurt trying to coax him out of his daydream.

* * *

><p>Burt sighed before going into the kitchen. This had to be the worse possible day for the boys to decide they wanted to get into s fight. He looked at Blaine and Puck on opposite sides of the kitchen looking guilty.<p>

"I'm really disappointed in both of you guys." Burt shifted his eyes between both boys. Blaine looked away and Puck just huffed. "Now I want to know how this fight started." He waited for someone to respond.

"Puck was saying some offensive things about Kurt." Finn spoke up. "We were all kind of mad about what he was saying-"

"And what did you say about my son?" Burt asked Puck.

"Does it matter?" Puck said with an attitude.

"Yes, because I will not continue to let you into my house if you're just going to be nice to Kurt when you feel like it."

"It's not even my fault." Puck scoffed. "Hobbit over there was the one who threw the first punch." He gestured to Blaine. Burt raised an eyebrow in his direction.

"Care to explain?" He asked. Blaine sighed.

"He was just saying all these things about Kurt and I just got really angry and felt like hitting something." Blaine admitted. Burt took a deep breath.

"I understand you were angry, but violence is not allowed in my house. Ever." Burt said to Blaine before turning to Puck. "As for you, my son seems to see you as a friend but if you're going keep acting like this you aren't coming anywhere near this house again. Got it?" Burt questioned and was satisfied to get a nod. "Good, now when Kurt can actually comprehend what's going on, you both need to apologize." Burt said leaving the boys alone in the kitchen.

"I can't believe this happened." Blaine groaned. Nick rubbed his back soothingly.

"It was an honest mistake Blaine. Kurt will understand." He tried to assure his friend.

"I shoved him into the wall and he thought I was going to hurt him." Blaine said sounding angry with himself. "Did you see how scared he looked?"

"It was an accident and you aren't the only one at fault here." Finn said looking over to Puck.

"At least you actually feel sorry for doing that to Kurt." Wes said under his breath but Puck heard it.

"I didn't do it on purpose either. I'm not heartless." Puck said defending himself.

"I know you aren't. I think you understand Kurt a lot more than you let on. You just don't like showing it." Finn says, nodding to himself as if he had just cracked the code. He turned to Blaine. "And you need to have a little bit more faith in Kurt and stop getting so jealous."

"I trust Kurt...i just sometimes hate the fact that I can't always be the one to understand what he's going through. I love helping him out and it makes me feel useless if I can't help him." Blaine admits. "I'm sorry for hitting you Puck..it's just that everything you said.."

"I know man, I was being a dick..I'm sorry too. I guess we all need to get along because I'm pretty sure Mr. Hummel will kick me out for good next time." Puck jokes and everyone chuckles.

"I'm gonna go check on Kurt." Wes said before leaving the room.

* * *

><p>"Hey kiddo. Are you with me now?" Burt asked his son in a low voice. He was still on the floor next to Carole, but the fear in his eyes was gone.<p>

"Dad." Kurt blinked. "I'm okay?" He asked looking around as if he wasn't sure how he got here.

"Yeah buddy, you're fine." Burt said with a relieved smile. Kurt took a deep breath.

"What happened?" Kurt asked. Wes had stepped in the room at this point. Burt looked up and waved him over.

"Do you remember what happened when you came out your room?" Wes asked his friend. Kurt shook his head and looked down.

"I thought I saw my mom...and she pushed me and was trying to hurt me." Kurt whispered. "And I heard people saying I was safe but I didn't see anyone."

"Well Blaine and Puck got in a fight.." Wes started out. "And you kind of got in the way and they shoved you into the wall by a mistake. And when we tried to help you you started screaming."

"Wait why would they get into a fight?"

"Puck was saying some things...about you.." Wes said vaguely. "And Blaine got angry and punched him." Kurt nodded to himself but didn't say anything.

"Do you want to talk to them kiddo?" Burt asked. Kurt shrugged but then nodded. Burt reached for his hand to pull him up but Kurt flinched away, surprising both of them.

"Sorry...i-i it's just today dad. I'm really messed up today.." Kurt said trying to explain himself. Burt nodded in understanding.

"You don't have to explain anything to me, it's fine." Burt said before gesturing to the next room. "They are all in the kitchen." Kurt walked into the kitchen with Wes and was surprised to feel nervous. He knew this day was very emotional for him but every little thing seemed to make him anxious. He looked up and he felt bad for causing the guilty look on his boyfriend's face. He knew Blaine would never purposely hurt him.

"Kurt we're so so sorry." Blaine apologized profusely. "You know I'd never hurt you." Blaine said coming up to Kurt to take both his hands. Kurt tried his best not to shy away from his boyfriend's touch.

"I-I know that. My mind just doesn't believe that yet.." Kurt told him. Blaine nodded.

"It was so stupid of us to do this...especially today." Blaine said sounding disappointed in himself. Kurt bit his lip.

"No...i hate the fact that you guys have to act a certain way or be perfectly behaved because you're afraid that something's going to happen to me or that I'm going to react a certain way. I will never find out why she did this to me...and I probably wont ever fully recover but I rather not be treated as if I'm gonna cry every moment of my life." Kurt told everyone in the room.

"We just don't want anything like what happened today to happen again." David spoke up.

"Yeah, we don't mind being more careful." Jeff added.

"I kind of mind.." Puck joked.

"I know you don't really care Puck." Kurt rolled his eyes. Blaine was looking at Kurt in admiration.

"You really have no idea how strong you are." Blaine whispered, bringing his hand to Kurt's cheek. Kurt tensed under the touch, his body still a little fearful of his surroundings, but slowly relaxed.

"Well it's been a year and I'm okay...no point in stopping now right?" Kurt asked. Yeah he's had a hard time getting through everything, and he's even wanted to give up multiple times. But he much rather one day be able to look back at all that happened to him and say 'wow, I can't believe I made it through all that'.

"Right."

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I hope you didn't mind the time jump. I wanted to jump into right before Kurt's senior year. Please tell me what you thought with a review! :)<strong>

**This chapter sets up how Kurt's senior year is going to go. I already know what i want to happen and lets just say it's going to be a bumpy ride for everyone. I would say there is at least going to be 28-30 chapters. There might be more but it's nearing the end :(**

**So i was wondering would you guys like a prequel to this story. A sequel. A homeless!Kurt story (because there is not enough of those out there.). Or a single dad Kurt story? And yes Kurt is my favorite as always so he will be there focus of my stories if you guys like them enough to keep reading! And of course Klaine will be the pairing.**

**I hope to update soon you guys! **


	22. Conflicted

**A/N: Hey guy! I have a long weekend and i'm full of ideas so update will be coming in more quickly ;) Just like this one did. Now this is Senior year for all the boys. The chapter is short but I hope you guys like it!**

**No warnings for this chapter.**

* * *

><p>"This school seems good." Blaine mumbled under his breath while he looked at his laptop.<p>

"Blaine come on! It's your turn to make a move!" Jeff complained, waving the controller in Blaine's direction. Wes, David, Nick, Jeff, and Kurt were over at his house to hang out and play _Mario Party 9._

"Kurt take my turn again." Blaine said absently. Kurt rolled his eyes but did.

"I don't know why you waited so long to start looking up schools." Wes said.

"Wes, you knew what college you wanted to go to before even going to high school." David joked.

"It's better than changing your mind all the time." Wes said with a glare.

"What school are you looking at?" Nick asked him.

"This preforming arts school in New York called NYADA." Blaine said passing the laptop to him.

"New York?" Kurt asked him, face unreadable.

"Yeah." Blaine frowned. He told Kurt he wanted to go to New York.

"Blaine this is like the perfect school for you." Nick said scrolling through the website. Jeff looked over Nick's shoulder and nodded.

"The school requires an audition. You would totally rock that." Jeff praised him.

"Should I go for it?" He asked his friends with an unsure expression on his face.

"Of course you idiot." Wes said with a scoff, as if Blaine would be stupid not to.

"You should visit it first, but sure!" David agreed.

"Do it!" Nick and Jeff called out simultaneously. Then everyone looked to Kurt who was staring at the wall with a contemplative looking on his face.

"Kurt?" Blaine called, causing Kurt whip around and look towards him. "Do you think I should apply to NYADA?" Blaine watched as Kurt nodded and gave him a small smile.

"Of course you should honey. Go for it." He said causing Blaine to smile back and begin filling out and application. Wes noticed the way Kurt gripped the carpet on the floor and bit his lip. He knew something was wrong.

* * *

><p>"Hey boys. Having fun?" Simon asked when he came into his house. It was a nice change seeing Blaine's friends over. Since both he and Andrea worked during the day, they rather him be with his friends or at Kurt's house.<p>

"Your son is a cheater!" Jeff yelled, causing Simon to laugh.

"I'm not even the one who won. Kurt won!" Blaine pointed out.

"Yeah but Kurt's perfect in every way. You, on the other hand, are a cheater!" Jeff said.

"Aww I'm perfect? Really Jeff?" Kurt said in a playful voice. Jeff made his hands into a heart and showed it to Kurt who rolled his eyes fondly.

"Oh dad, can we take a trip to New York to check out some schools?" Blaine asked ignoring Jeff.

"Sure. We can make a trip out of it and visit Cooper." Simon said with a smile. "All you boys going?"

"I'll go even though my dream school will always and forever be-" Wes' sentence was cut short by David covering his mouth.

"Harvard. We know." David said sounding exasperated. "I would love to go! I want to check out Columbia."

"Count Jeff and me in too." Nick said, sounding excited. Kurt once again was staring at the wall, not seeming to be paying attention.

"Kurt?" Blaine said waving a hand in front of Kurt's face. Kurt blinked and looked at him.

"Huh?" Kurt asked, with a sheepish expression on his face.

"Do you want to come to New York with us..to look at schools?" Simon asked again. Kurt nodded.

"Yeah..yeah." Kurt said quickly.

"Great! We'll go next weekend." Simon said. "Just ask your parents, to make sure their okay with it. Kurt I'm sure Burt would be fine with it. In fact your family could come too. I'm sure Finn would like to see some schools." Kurt nodded along with a smile even though he didn't feel like smiling. He felt more like everything was falling apart.

"Kurt? You keep spacing out. Are you okay baby?" Blaine asked him, shaking him a little. Kurt looked at him and smiled faintly.

"Yeah..I'm just tired..Didn't get much sleep last night." Kurt cringed when he lied. He had stayed over with Blaine yesterday and they had fallen asleep together.

"Nice!" Jeff said, holding his hands out to both of them for high fives. Blaine smacked his hand away.

"Not in that way." Blaine glared at him. "Do you want to go take a nap or something?" Blaine asked. Kurt nodded and faked a yawn. Blaine kissed his cheek before Kurt got up and walked up the stairs. Wes took the chance to ask Blaine a question.

"Is Kurt okay? I mean, is he having one of those weeks?" Wes asked. Blaine shook his head.

"No. He's probably just sleepy." Blaine said with a shrug. Wes opened his mouth but shut it when Jeff suggested they watch a movie. He was worried about his friend.

* * *

><p>Kurt had always wanted to go to New York. Always. It's what he dreamed of, when he wasn't having terrifying nightmares. He's been there once. With his mom. It was the happiest he had seen her. It was like she was the mom he had years ago. She had gotten an audition for a play he didn't remember the name of.<p>

...

"_If I get this part, we'll move here. Get a nice big house, with a yard and a pool." His mother listed off excitedly. He smiled happily, though it really hurt. Just two days ago she had given him a black eye. He didn't remember what he did wrong, but it was still very prominent on his face. She just told him to blame it on bullies at school if he was asked about it._

"_You're going to be amazing mommy." An 11 year old Kurt said. His mother smiled at him in a way he hadn't seen in years and it made him feel so special inside._

"_I am aren't I?" She said. Kurt looked out of the windows of the cab and was enthralled by the lights and the buildings. Even if his mom didn't get the part, he still wanted to live here when he was older._

_They made it to some theater were the auditions were happening. He grabbed for his mother's hand but she didn't take it._

"_Not now sweetie, I have to get ready. Just sit in the audience and wait, okay?" She said. Kurt sighed but nodded. He took a seat in the back close to some lady, who was probably also auditioning or watching someone audition._

"_Elizabeth Hummel?" One of the people in the front called. She walked on the stage and began acting out a scene._

"_Is that your mother?" Kurt turned to the lady who was a seat away from him. He smiled and nodded. "She's really good." _

"_I know." Kurt said happily. The lady looked at him a little closer, because it was kind of dark and noticed his black eye._

"_Oh you poor thing. What happened to your eye?" She asked in concern._

"_I don't remember. My mom said to tell people that bullies at school did this to me." Kurt shrugged. He turned back to the front when his mother began singing a song. He didn't noticed the lady's horrified look._

_Kurt clapped loudly when the audition was done, but immediately stopped when he noticed no one else was. _

"_We'll be in touch." One of the people in the front said. His mother looked hopeful at that and left the stage. Kurt got up to greet his mother but the lady gently pulled on his arm._

"_Please take this." She said, handing him a card with a number on it. He looked at her confused. "If anything at home gets too much just call okay? Stay strong little one." She said. Kurt frowned but nodded. The lady walked away with one last look at Kurt. His mother frowned when she walked up to him._

"_What did I tell you about talking to strangers?" She scolded him. She grabbed his shoulder a little too tight and steered him out of the theater. Kurt stuffed the card in his pocket, just in case._

_They stayed in New York for a couple of days. Elizabeth got a call one morning. The morning she promised they would go to the park. His eye was mostly healed by then._

"_Yes this is she." pause. "oh..okay." pause. "I understand." sniff. "Thank you for considering. Have a good day." A slam on table. A scream. Kurt walks in slowly._

"_Mommy? You didn't get the part?" He asked. She looks at him hard._

"_Start packing! It's all your fault! I knew you would mess this up for me!" She screamed and swung a hand at him. He managed to avoid the hand and run into the bathroom._

_He didn't know how he had messed it up for her at all. He just sat there and watched the audition. He dug into his pocket and looked at the card he was given that day. Something was telling him to call but he stuffed it back in his pocket. If she said it was his fault, it was probably his fault._

_They took a plane back to Ohio. The ride was mostly silent. Kurt had the window seat and he looked out it longingly. He loved it in New York. He wanted to stay forever._

"_We're never going back Kurt. New York isn't for us." She said while they were taking off. Kurt didn't respond. He didn't want to get in trouble. Maybe one day she'd change her mind._

_..._

Kurt should be happy. He should be excited that he gets the chance to go back to New York. It's where he always wanted to go. He should be glad Blaine wanted to go to school there too. Was Blaine expecting Kurt to go to New York too for school? Did he want to go to school in New York? Kurt groaned as these questions went through his mind. He didn't know why he was so conflicted.

* * *

><p>"Hey kiddo. Guess you finally get your trip to New York." Burt laughed when he got home that night. Kurt frowned in confusion. "Don't tell me you don't remember?" Kurt's frown deepened.<p>

"Remember what dad?" He asked him.

"You used to talk about New York before you even knew where it was on the map." Burt chuckled.

"Oh." Kurt breathed. Burt gave his son a look.

"You don't seem too happy about it." Burt assumed. Kurt gave his dad a smile.

"I am. It's just too good to be true." Kurt lied. Well not really. He wanted to go to New York. He just wasn't sure he was ready to go.

"Well believe it." Burt said with a smile and patted the seat next to him on the couch. "Now what schools to you want to see?" He asked. Kurt's mouth got dry and he was suddenly nervous.

"W-well Blaine wants to see NYADA. I'm not sure yet." Kurt began honestly.

"Well you've been getting mail from a lot of schools. Parsons, NYU, Julliard." Burt told him. Kurt nodded. Those pieces of mail were unopened in his trash can. "Your designs could certainly get you into Parsons." Kurt sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Blaine showed you my books?" Kurt guessed.

"You're so much more talented than you give yourself credit for." Burt told his son. Then it clicked in his head why he was so conflicted about New York. His dad. He would have to leave his dad after just finding him.

"I'm trying to realize that." Kurt told him. Burt smiled and nodded.

"I know son." Burt assured him. "Now I recorded that Project Runaway show you wanted me too." Kurt chuckled.

"Runway Dad. Runway." He corrected. Burt just rolled his eyes.

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Now what is this show about?" He asked. Kurt smiled and began explaining it to his dad. As he began explaining it to him he knew that he couldn't go to New York for college. No matter how much he really wanted to. He dad was too important to him. So next week on the trip to New York he would tell Blaine that no matter what, he was going to stay in Ohio with his dad.

In a week, he would realize it wasn't going to be that simple.

* * *

><p><strong>Again sorry for the short chapter! But I'm already writing the next chapter! Please review and tell me what you think!<strong>

**Hint for next chapter: Everyone is going to New York! Kurt will have some revelations, some doubts, and some fun times that will make his decision in the end much more difficult!**

**Also I'm glad some of you like the idea of homeless!Kurt. I actually started on it but I'm not completely sure if i'll post it!**

**Anyways, happy reading you guys! As always thanks for all the reviews/favorites/follows. You have no idea how happy they make me! :)**


	23. New York

**A/N: Whaaaaat? She updated already?! What a surprise! Yes, i wasn't kidding when i said the next update will becoming quickly.**

**Anyways, I really like this chapter. Sadly there are no flashbacks in this chapter but lets just say that the next chapter they might come back at an alarming force.**

**Warnings: Not really any warnings. Let's just say it's fluffy and kind of cheesy until it isn't.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>New York is just as amazing as Kurt remembered. Bright lights, huge buildings, interesting people. So different from being in Ohio.<p>

"Okay boys." Andrea said addressing the group in the car. "We're going to the hotel to drop off our bags. Blaine, Nick, and David are in one room. Kurt, Jeff, Wes, and Finn are in the other. Once we're settled we'll go eat something quick and start checking out some of the schools."

"Awww why can't I be in the room with Nicky?" Jeff pouted.

"Sex addicts." David coughed into his hand. Nick and Jeff blushed a bit.

"Are not." Nick denied. "And can I switch with Jeff? I want to be in the room with Kurt."

"Hurtful." Blaine joked.

"Agreed." David said, faking tears.

"You can switch Nick." Simon said laughing at the boys antics.

"Kurt? Are you okay?" Wes asked Kurt. He had been staring out the window the whole time. Kurt averted his eyes from the window.

"Yeah I'm fine." Kurt told him. "Just captivated by the city."

"Yeah it's beautiful here. I always love coming here." Wes sighed happily.

"You've been here before?" Kurt asked. He didn't know that.

"Yeah, for vacation with my family a couple of times." Wes told him. Kurt nodded.

"You're lucky." Kurt murmured.

"You want to live here?" Wes asked, trying to pry. He didn't know what was up with his friend lately but whenever they mentioned college or New York he'd space out.

"I don't know." Kurt shrugged then immediately changed the subject of of him. "Why are you on this trip Mr. Harvard?"

"Well since it's our last year all in the same school, I want to hang out with you guys as much as I can." Wes explained. Kurt paled a little. He always did his best not to think about what the end of this school year meant. School had basically just started again but he knew this year would probably just fly by. "Kurt? You keep blanking out. Something you want to talk about?" Wes asked.

"N-no Wes, I'm fine." Kurt fibbed.

"Kurt you can tell me, I promise-"

"Okay boys! We're here!" Wes sighed and gave Kurt a pointed look.

"We'll talk later." Wes whispered. Kurt sighed but nodded.

* * *

><p>Everyone got out of the car and grabbed their suitcases and headed into the hotel. They were each given a room key for their room. Their rooms were all right next to each others. Wes, Nick, Finn, and Kurt went to their room and unpacked their suitcases.<p>

"Hey we should go out to a club or something!" Finn suggested, seeming excited by the idea of doing something they weren't supposed to.

"Are you forgetting about mister party animal over there." Wes gestured the Kurt who huffed.

"When is everyone going to forget about that?" Kurt wondered aloud.

"Don't worry! I'm sure you'll do something else soon that we'll never stop talking about." Finn said in a comforting voice. Kurt glared at him.

"How sweet Finn." Nick snorted. They continued unpacking but briefly stopped when there was a knock on the door. Wes went to open it.

"We've been apart for too long!" David cried and practically jumped into Wes' arms. The rest of the boys couldn't help but laugh.

"Get off of me idiot." Wes chuckled and squirmed out of David's grip. The rest of the guys poured in the room.

"Hey you." Blaine greeted Kurt with a smile. Kurt smiled back and gave him a soft kiss.

"Hey." Kurt smiled.

"Are you guys ready to go?" Jeff asked jumping onto the bed near the window.

"Yeah! Let's go, I'm hungry!" Finn exclaimed.

"Not a surprise. I'm still mourning the loss of my cheesecake." Kurt pouted.

"Dude it didn't have your name on it." Finn shrugged.

"All day I kept saying 'that last piece of cake is mine. DO. NOT. EAT.' and guess who ate it? Oh Finn did, because he 'had a light lunch' and was 'really hungry'." Kurt huffed.

"All I had was a burger and fries." Finn tried to defend himself. "I didn't even get a milkshake like I usually do."

"You should be thankful you have a good metabolism." Kurt sighed.

"You guys argue like your brothers." Blaine chuckled.

"They practically are." Nick agreed.

"I always wanted an annoying little brother." Finn smiled, ruffling Kurt's hair.

"I will destroy you." Kurt growled.

"Aww the kitten is becoming a tiger." Jeff cooed causing everyone but Kurt to laugh.

"Lets go!"

* * *

><p>After eating some food, everyone headed back into the car to go to their first stop, NYADA. The school looked amazing. Kurt could imagine Blaine going here. If circumstances were different, he could even imagine himself going here.<p>

"Rachel is obsessed with getting into this school." Finn said as he and Kurt fell into step walking in the back of the group.

"Really? Well she does have a fantastic voice. She can definitely get into this school." Kurt said.

"Yeah she can. So can Blaine..and you.." Finn added quickly and looked away when Kurt looked at him.

"How would you know?" Kurt asked. Finn calmed down a bit when he noticed Kurt didn't sound angry.

"I heard you singing Defying Gravity a long time ago. You're really great Kurt." Finn said honestly. Kurt couldn't help but smile to himself.

"Thanks Finn..but even if I wanted to, I don't think singing is the best thing for me." Finn frowned.

"Why not?" He asked. Kurt sighed.

"You know why...my mom-" Kurt began but then cut off with a tiny squeak when Finn dragged him into an empty room. "Finn what the hell? We'll get in trouble."

"No one's here." Finn said then pushed Kurt to the center of the room. "Now sing dude." Kurt crossed his arms.

"Why should I? For what Finn?" Kurt asked him.

"How about you do something good for yourself for once? I know you hate being treated like your broken by everyone but it's going to keep happening because you keep treating yourself like you're broken." Finn raised his voice.

"I do not!" Kurt claimed.

"Really? The reason you don't sing is because your mother said no singing. She's not here Kurt." Finn said opening his arms wide.

"I know that! But- I.." Kurt didn't know what to say.

"Just sing something for yourself Kurt. If you had to choose any song right now, without thinking, what would it be?" Finn questioned. Kurt closed his eyes tightly and took a deep breath.

_Someone to hold you too close  
>Someone to hurt you too deep<br>Someone to sit in your chair  
>To ruin your sleep<em>

_Someone to need you too much_  
><em>Someone to know you too well<em>  
><em>Someone to pull you up short<em>  
><em>To put you through hell<em>

Finn could tell that Kurt was passionate about singing. Singing wasn't just singing for Kurt. It was like breathing. It was obvious Kurt didn't like being vulnerable, but when he sings all his emotions are painfully obvious on his face. And it's actually really cool.

_Someone you have to let in_  
><em>Someone whose feelings you spare<em>  
><em>Someone who, like it or not<em>  
><em>Will want you to share<em>  
><em>A little, a lot<em>

_Someone to crowd you with love_  
><em>Someone to force you to care<em>  
><em>Someone to make you come through<em>  
><em>Who'll always be there<em>  
><em>As frightened as you<em>  
><em>Of being alive<em>  
><em>Being alive<em>  
><em>Being alive<em>  
><em>Being alive<em>

Finn didn't notice anyone walk in. He too busy paying attention to Kurt. A woman walked in, hearing the voice from her office right next to the room. She was shocked to say the least. She heard this song way too many times from students who wanted to audition but there was something different about this boy.

_Somebody, hold me too close  
>Somebody, hurt me too deep<br>Somebody, sit in my chair  
>And ruin my sleep<br>And make me aware  
>Of being alive<br>Being alive_

_Somebody, need me too much_  
><em>Somebody, know me too well<em>  
><em>Somebody, pull me up short<em>  
><em>And put me through hell<em>  
><em>And give me support<em>

_For being alive  
>Make me alive<br>Make me alive  
>Make me confused<br>Mock me with praise  
>Let me be used<br>Vary my days  
>But alone is alone, not alive<em>

_Somebody, crowd me with love_  
><em>Somebody, force me to care<em>  
><em>Somebody, let me come through<em>  
><em>I'll always be there<em>  
><em>As frightened as you<em>  
><em>To help us survive<em>  
><em>Being alive<em>  
><em>Being alive<em>

_Being alive _

Kurt felt a tear roll down his cheek as he finished singing the last word. He couldn't believe he made it through a full song. It felt good. _Really good._

Finn began clapping and cheering loudly. Kurt smiled but it froze when he saw another person in the room.

"Finn." He grit through his teeth and gestured to the other presence in the room. Finn looked back and immediately his expression grew sheepish.

"You know you aren't supposed to be in here right." The woman asked. Kurt nodded frantically.

"Y-yes, we're sorry ma'am! We'll leave!" Kurt said and grabbed Finn to leave the room.

"Wait just a second." The woman said and they both paused. "That was a very nice performance. Hold on to that passion and vulnerability when you audition in a few months. I assure you, you'll make it far." She smiled briefly and left the room. It took Kurt a while to actually realize who she was. Carmen Tibideaux. She was the Dean of Vocal Performance and Song Interpretation. The one Blaine had mentioned when he talked about how hard it was to get into NYADA.

"Oh my god Finn. What just happened?" Kurt asked, feeling like it was just a wonderful dream.

"You just got over your fear of singing!" Finn exclaimed. Kurt smiled genuinely at that. He certainly did.

* * *

><p>After the tour of NYADA, they all went to relax in central park. It was a little chilly but completely worth it. Kurt was laying on a blanket with Blaine.<p>

"So is NYADA everything you dreamed of?" Kurt nudged Blaine. Blaine smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, I love it here. And apparently you do too. Being Alive was a great choice." Blaine smirked. Kurt's eyes widened.

"How did you know about that?" He asked. Finn must have said something.

"It seems as if news travels around that school really quickly. Those people live for a good story." Blaine chuckled and Kurt stayed quiet. "I wish I was there to hear you sing...I really miss it." Kurt ducked his head and bit his lip. He knew Blaine did.

"Well what do you want to hear?" Kurt murmured. Blaine's eyes widened as if he didn't expect to be asked that.

"I don't know. Just sing whatever comes to mind." Blaine said softly. Kurt laid his head on Blaine's shoulder and began singing softly.

_Somewhere over the rainbow way up high  
>There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby<br>Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue_

_And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true_

_Someday I'll wish upon a star_  
><em>And wake up where the clouds are far<em>  
><em>Behind me<em>  
><em>Where troubles melt like lemon drops<em>  
><em>Away above the chimney tops<em>  
><em>That's where you'll find me<em>

The rest of the group grew quiet while they heard Kurt singing next to Blaine. The boys haven't heard Kurt sing since freshman year. Burt listened to his son sing and forced himself not to choke up. Carole was right there next to him smiling through some tears. Blaine's parents smiled warmly at the two boys not far from them. Finn beamed proudly at his 'brother'. He's come a long way since he first met him.

_Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly  
>Birds fly over the rainbow. Why then, oh, why can't I?<br>_

_If happy little bluebirds fly  
>Beyond the rainbow why, oh, why can't I? <em>

Blaine smiled happily as Kurt softly ended the song. At this moment he's sure it's the happiest he's been in his entire life.

"How was that?" Kurt's voice wavered from nervousness. Blaine put and arm around Kurt's waist.

"Amazing. You're amazing. And I think you've won." Blaine whispered.

"How did I win? I'm never going to fully recover. I still have nightmares, and flashbacks, and everything." Kurt said softly.

"Yeah, but those things don't matter Kurt. You've come so far and that makes me so happy." Blaine said quietly, smiling when Kurt looked up with shining eyes.

"I'm happy now too. So happy." Kurt told him. Blaine couldn't help but kiss him then.

* * *

><p>After going back to Lima, Kurt seemed sure that he wanted to go to New York.<p>

"It's the perfect plan. I go to New York with Blaine. We'll go to NYADA together, graduate, get engaged, get married, become successful, have kids, get a cat, and live happily ever after." Kurt babbled on to Wes as they walked to Warblers practice together.

"Sounds a little bit too perfect." Wes snorted. Kurt rolled their eyes.

"Well of course things aren't going to be easier. I just find it a little bit more optimistic if I think about it this way." Kurt admitted.

"Well you know things most likely aren't going to happen in that order, and maybe some of it won't happen at all." Wes said with a shrug.

"Thanks for the confidence boost Wesley." Kurt said dryly. Wes rolled his eyes.

"Listen, I know you've been doing good lately. Like really good. But something was holding you back for a while. What was that?" Wes asked.

"I don't know. I was scared of leaving my dad. I mean I _just_ found him Wes. What kind of person would I be to just leave like that?" Kurt asked with a morose expression on his face. Wes immediately felt bad for bringing it up, but he knew otherwise Kurt would just bottle it up.

"A good person. Kurt, everyone needs to leave there parents eventually. If you stay here you're going to regret it. Think about how much you love New York. If you stay in Ohio and go to some lame college here you won't be happy. Besides you can always call and visit." Wes reasoned with Kurt.

"I know. But it's gonna be hard." Kurt spoke in a small voice.

"It would have been hard even if you lived with him your whole life." Wes pointed out.

"But it's different Wes." Kurt groaned.

"I know, but come on Kurt. You're better than Ohio." Wes said. Kurt sighed. He knew that. He wanted to get out of Ohio more than anything.

"I know. I'm going to New York I'm sure of it." Kurt said though his voice didn't seem as sure as it seemed earlier.

"Good." Wes smiled as they walked down the hall and into the Senior Commons. They walked into the room and was surprised to see the Headmaster in the room and the rest of the Warblers looking extremely worried.

"What's going on Mr. Keaton?" Wes asked. He had a bad feeling about this.

"Kurt, can I have a word with you outside?" He asked. He seemed very serious and Kurt could feel dread filling his insides.

"D-did I do something wrong?" Kurt stammered.

"Blaine I think you should come with us too." Mr. Keaton said ushering both boys out of the room. Kurt knew the rest of the Warblers were probably listening in through the door.

"Did something happen?" Blaine asked when he saw Kurt was having trouble forming words. By the way Kurt was holding his hand tightly, he knew his boyfriend was afraid.

"Kurt, I just got a call from a Ms. Carole Hudson...do you know her?" The headmaster asked just to make sure. Kurt wasn't sure if he managed to nod or not.

"It's his father's girlfriend." Blaine answered when he Mr. Keaton looked to him for clarification. Mr. Keaton nodded and took a breath before continuing gently, as if it physically pained him to say the next words.

"Okay..well she called and informed us that your father is in the hospital. He had a heart attack."

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><p><strong>CLIFFHANGER! OMG How will Kurt react? Do you guys think he'll be okay? Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter. Please review and let me know what you think! :)<strong>

**Hint for next chapter: Kurt's reaction and it's pretty safe to say there will be a bucket load of angst and flashbacks.**

**Until next time guys! :)**


	24. Breaking down

**A/N: As always I'm sorry for updating so late. Especially with that cliffhanger...I hope you guys don't hate me too much. :) **

**Warnings for this chapter: Suicidal thoughts, self harm, flashbacks, and lots of tears.**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter! **

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><p>"<em>How did it happen?" Kurt asked his mother. It's been a few days since his mother told him his father died.<em>

"_How did what happen?" Elizabeth didn't even look up at her son when she asked. Just continued staring at her phone._

"_How did he die?" He asked straightforward. She glanced at him quickly and looked back at her phone. _

"_Why is this so important to you?" She sighed as if it was the most stupid question she had ever heard._

"_Because he's the only one who has ever cared about me." He said fiercely. His mother looked up in surprise but she quickly masked it. He briefly wondered what that was about._

"_I care about you Kurt. You just always get in the way." She waved him off._

"_Just tell me what happened to my dad!" He yelled, ignoring her hurtful words. _

"_He had a heart attack alright? Happy?" She told him. Kurt paled and tears filled his eyes. "Please don't tell me you're gonna start crying. If you are leave." And Kurt did, not knowing that his father was perfectly fine and alive._

_..._

Kurt knew now that she only did that so he would stop mentioning his dad all the time. It worked like a charm, he hated to admit. So this time when he heard the words 'heart attack' his mind refused to believe it.

"You're lying." Kurt whispered. His eyes were burning and he could barely see in front of him. He felt hands on him and jerked away from them.

"Kurt, I'm afraid I'm telling the truth." Mr. Keaton said frowning at Kurt's denial. He expected him to break down a little bit but not like this.

"No!" He screamed. "My dad is okay!"

"Kurt, baby you need to calm down. You're going to give yourself a panic attack." Blaine said calmly but he too was surprised at Kurt's angry reaction. He tried to grabbed Kurt's hands once again and succeeded.

"No. No. No. No." Kurt kept repeating over and over again before this words became more like sobs.

"Should I get the nurse?" Mr. Keaton asked. He hasn't witnessed one of Kurt's panic attacks in a long while. No one really has.

"No, I think I have this." Blaine told him before turning back to Kurt who was trying to pull away from him. "Kurt I need you to breathe in and out for me."

"No!" Kurt sobbed. He felt dizzy and his chest felt tight. _My dad was okay_, he kept thinking, _he needs to be_. "I-I-I want to go home."

"Blaine's mother is here to take you to the hospital to see your dad." Mr. Keaton tried to tell Kurt gently. Kurt shook his head frantically, not wanting to here the word 'hospital'. It couldn't be true, he thought to himself, it just wasn't fair.

"Kurt...Kurt you have to breathe." Blaine's voice interrupted his thoughts. He looked at Blaine's concerned expression and tried to take a deep breath but found himself sobbing instead. Blaine turned to Mr. Keaton after realizing that Kurt was in no position to think rationally and be calm at this moment.

"Can I take him out to the car. I don't think he's gonna calm down anytime soon." Blaine asked him, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend's waist. Mr. Keaton nodded.

"Sure Blaine." He said. Blaine hoisted his sobbing boyfriend up bridal style, seeing that Kurt was in no state to walk. Mr. Keaton escorted them outside of the building where his mother was waiting for them.

"Oh sweetheart." She cooed when she saw Kurt. "Blaine, honey, why don't you both get in the back seat." She said and Blaine nodded and maneuvered both he and Kurt into the backseat while his mother talked to Mr. Keaton. Eventually she got into the car and began driving.

Kurt was no longer sobbing, but silently crying along with some unfortunate hiccups. He had his head on Blaine's shoulder, his arm around Blaine's middle, sniffling into his blazer. Blaine was soothingly rubbing his back humming a random melody to him.

It was a long ride but they made it there no one moved. The car was silent except for the sound of Kurt's sniffles.

"Kurt, sweetie?" Andrea started out softly. "We're here." They both waited as they watched Kurt slowly extract himself from Blaine. His eyes were red and puffy and his face was tear stained. Blaine saw the moment Kurt locked away all his emotions deep inside him and his eyes became unreadable.

"Come on baby, lets go see your dad." Blaine said gently. He nodded and they both got out of the car. Blaine grabbed his hand as they walked into the hospital. Andrea went to talk to the receptionist and soon enough they were hurrying to the ICU where Burt's room was. They saw Carole and Finn in the waiting room. They both stood up when they saw them.

"Carole how is he?" Andrea asked once they got there. Carole's eyes were red and puffy like Kurt's. It was obvious she had been crying a lot. Finn looked like he hadn't quite registered what was happening just yet.

"He had a heart attack at work and they got him here immediately and when they go him here he slipped into a coma." She paused to compose herself. "They aren't sure when or if he'll come out." Everyone looked to Kurt at the moment who was staring at the floor the hand that wasn't occupied by Blaine's hand was clenched tightly.

"Kurt?" Blaine whispered gently. Kurt didn't look up.

"Kurt honey it's going to be okay." Carole said although she didn't look so sure. She took a few steps toward him and tried to place a comforting hand on his shoulder but he jerked away from the touch.

"Don't lie to me." He whispered harshly.

"Kurt, she's just trying to be hopeful." Blaine told him, squeezing his hand. Kurt pulled away.

"Well being hopeful isn't enough to help my dad wake up." Kurt snapped and proceeded out of the waiting room towards where Burt's hospital room was.

* * *

><p>Kurt looked at the door and took a deep breath before walking inside. He felt his heart plummet inside his chest. His dad was in the hospital bed hooked up to something that had a tube going up his nose. He looked pale and lifeless besides his calm breathing.<p>

Kurt forced himself to take a step forward. He took a seat next to his father and placed his shaking hand in Burt's.

"Dad." Kurt's voice cracked. "You can't do this. _Y-you can't. I need you_." He paused waiting for some kind of response. He took a shuttering breath when there was none. "Please dad, don't leave me again." He began sobbing. He couldn't control it. This was so sudden. He hasn't even been with his dad a year yet and he was probably going to lose him again._ It just wasn't fair._

_..._

_Kurt blinked awake and looked around bleary eyed until the room came into focus. He rolled over in his bed and frowned when he didn't see his Tinkerbell lamp. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. He looked around the room and frowned deeper. This wasn't his bedroom. _

_The bedroom was too small and didn't have all of his toys. His room wasn't painted, his bed was tiny, the picture of him, his dad, and his mom wasn't on his night stand. His eyes watered and he was suddenly afraid. Where was he?_

"_D-daddy!" He yelled. He ran out of his room and didn't know where to go. "Daddy!" He jumped when his mother came out of one of the doors._

"_Kurt? Why are you screaming?" She asked tiredly. _

_Kurt ran to her. "Mommy our house was stolen! My Tinkerbell lamp and my space sheets and my power rangers and-"_

"_Sweetie, the house wasn't stolen. We just moved." She explained gently. Kurt frowned._

"_Why? Where's daddy?" He asked._

"_He's at the old house Kurt." She responded. Kurt's eyes grew wide and watery._

"_Why? Why didn't move with us. I'm supposed to be with him! Not you!" Kurt yelled._

"_Sweetie I'm sorry but this is just how things are going to be okay." She said calmly and Kurt just sobbed._

"_I want daddy." He cried. She sighed._

"_You'll get used to it sweetie." She told him and held him until he fell asleep._

_..._

"Baby, you have to calm down." Kurt felt a hand rubbing circles on his back. He looked up to see Blaine looking at him with sad eyes.

"Blaine I-I need him." Kurt whimpered brokenly. Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt gently.

"I know baby. I know. And he's gonna be okay. He'll pull through and everything will be fine." Blaine assured him. He didn't know how he knew but he just did.

"Nothing in my life is ever fine." Kurt sulked but laid back in Blaine's embrace.

Blaine wasn't sure how long they both stayed like that. Kurt had fallen asleep in his arms but never let go of his dad's hand. Carole, Andrea, and Finn came in the room at some point.

"Cried himself to sleep?" Andrea said coming to sit next to Blaine and Kurt. Blaine nodded.

"Yeah. It's gonna be hard to get him to leave." Blaine said with a sigh.

"I could just carry him dude." Finn joked to try and lighten the mood. They all cracked a small smile. It was quiet for a while. Nothing but the beat of Burt's heart monitor and Kurt's soft snores. Soon a doctor came in the room and gave them all sympathetic look.

"I'm sorry but visiting hours are over." The doctor said.

"We'll leave soon." Carole answered for them.

"Don't worry, we'll take good care of Mr. Hummel." The doctor said trying to reassure all of them.

"Is he going to wake up anytime soon?" Finn asked hopefully.

"We're not sure. It could take a couple of days, weeks, maybe even months. It's difficult to know for sure." The doctor told Finn with an apologetic expression.

"Is there anything you can do?" Finn asked the doctor, not understanding why it would take so long for Burt to wake up.

"Just wait and hope for the best." The doctor answered before nodding to the others in the room and excusing himself from the room.

"Should I wake him up?" Blaine asked. Carole shook her head.

"Just carry him out. You know he's not going to leave if you wake him up." She said and he nodded. Slowly he got up with Kurt in his arms. Carole stayed behind a bit, not completely ready to leave Burt, but soon joined the rest and left the hospital.

* * *

><p>Kurt was confused when he woke up next to Blaine but didn't question it. He doesn't remember how they got home last night, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that he was most likely going to lose his dad. He carefully moved out of Blaine's arms and went to his closet. He pulled out a tiny box and opened it.<p>

...

_Kurt was tired of living like this. He was tired of going to a horrible school where no one wanted to be his friend and only wanted to hurt him for things he couldn't change about himself. He was tired of going home to a parent that didn't love him and wanted to hurt him even when he didn't do anything. So today was the last day he was going to deal with it._

_It was the perfect plan._

_Make it through a full day of school scathed or unscathed. It didn't matter. Then he would come home to either a drunk mother or just an angry one and probably have more bruises on his body. But that wouldn't matter either. He would then go to his room. Write a note to him mom, take a few pills and use the razor that his mom had used to carve the word burden onto his skin. _

_He didn't have to deal with this anymore._

_His mother wouldn't save him anyways._

_But things changed when he was stuffed in that locker and Blaine found him there._

"_Who did this to you Kurt?" Blaine asked him with a concerned expression._

"_Just some ignorant jocks..like always." Kurt responded but walked away towards his locker. He wasn't expecting Blaine to follow._

"_You should really tell someone. They can't do that. It isn't right." Blaine said speeding up his pace so he could walk alongside Kurt._

"_Yeah well it's just how things are." Kurt said opening his locker not surprised to find a bunch of stupid notes telling him he's a fag and that he should kill himself._

"_Why don't you just transfer? It isn't safe here." Blaine asked him. Kurt narrowed his eyes at him._

"_Why would you care? You don't even know me." Kurt snapped at him. Blaine didn't falter though._

"_Because I know how it is to deal with ignorant jocks. I may not know you but I think we could be friends.." Blaine finished off nervously. Kurt's mouth dropped a little at that._

"_What?" He asked. _

"_We could be friends. And I could show you my school. It has a zero-tolerance no bullying policy and the people are really great." Blaine rambled. Kurt still couldn't get past the fact that Blaine wanted to be his friend._

"_Blaine!" Came the voice of a blonde haired boy at the end of the hallway. "Come on! Lets go!" Blaine turned back to Kurt who had already turned back to look into his locker._

"_Look...can I give you my number? That way we can talk. I'd really like it if I could see you again Kurt." Blaine told him. Kurt turned around still unsure of Blaine's motives but gave him his phone anyways. Blaine put his number in and handed Kurt back his phone and smiled. "I have to go...i hope you'll call or text or whatever.."_

"_You ramble a lot." Kurt murmured. Blaine blushed a bit._

"_I know...I'm sorry..I just hope you're okay. I mean it, I really want to be friends." Blaine said sincerely and Kurt nodded hesitantly._

"_I'll text you then.." He said and Blaine smiled._

"_Great." He beamed then cleared his throat. "Well..I think I should go find my friend."_

"_You go do that." Kurt said, his lips quirking up a bit. He found Blaine amusing. _

"_Bye Kurt." Blaine said finally walking away. Kurt waved at him and when Blaine was out of sight he frowned. Things like this don't happen to him._

_He went home that day and unsurprisingly his mother wasn't home. So he went straight to his room and took out the Tylenol from his medicine cabinet and the small black box with the razor blade inside of it. He opened the bottle with shaking hands and took out a bunch of the pills. He was about to pop one in his mouth when his phone vibrated. He looked at it in curiosity and the message made his heart skipped a beat._

_**Hey Kurt...i kind of gave myself your number..hope that isn't creepy. I was just wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tomorrow...so we can work on being friends? -Blaine :)**_

_Kurt was shocked. He wasn't planning on texting Blaine. He didn't think Blaine was being serious. But apparently he was. He took a deep breath and after some consideration he placed the pills back and put them away in the box along with the blade._

_**After school at the Lima Bean? They make good coffee. -Kurt**_

_**I'll be there ;) -Blaine :)**_

_**...**_

Blaine had been the one who saved him. Had been the reason he put away the box. But the fear of losing his father was too much. He looked at the contents of the box and took them out with a shaky breath.

_Maybe I should just throw them away, _he thought, _I'm too much of a coward to do it anyway._

His palms were sweaty as he stared at the difference between life and death in his hands. He shakily placed the pills down and placed the razor blade on his skin. He wanted everything to stop hurting. He wanted to just feel normal.

_Maybe mom was right, _he thought, _I'm useless, worthless, and a burden. _

He couldn't help but think he was the reason for his dad's heart attack. His dad was probably stressed because of him all the time. He never made sure his dad ate healthily enough. All he cared about was his own problems. _Burt's life would have been so much better if he had died that day._

"_**Oh my god!**_" Kurt jumped when he heard Blaine shriek. He looked down at his arm to find a bunch of cuts on it and blood pouring from each of them. Before he knew it the blade was out of his hand and in Blaine's.

"B-blaine I-" Kurt started but Blaine cut him off.

"What the hell were you doing?!" Blaine yelled. He was frantically taking off his shirt and holding it around Kurt's arm.

"I-I..Blaine I'm s-sorry." Kurt cried. He didn't even notice when he did it. Blaine's eyes flickered to the pills next to Kurt and immediately felt sick.

"_Kurt no_. Tell me you weren't thinking of killing yourself." Blaine pleaded and Kurt finally looked at Blaine to see the tears in his eyes despite his angry reaction. "Tell me I'm wrong Kurt." Kurt looked down and away from Blaine his shoulders shuttering because of suppressed sobs. Blaine let out a sob of his own.

"I-I'm so so sorry." Kurt sobbed. Blaine continued applying pressure to his cuts. None of them were too deep.

"D-don't be sorry. I-I k-know..i know you don't know what to do with yourself now. But baby this isn't the answer." Blaine said using his other hand to cup his boyfriend's cheek.

"Then what is Blaine?" Kurt choked out. "Because I don't think I can do this anymore. Everything just hurts and I want it to stop." Blaine brought Kurt close to him and held him tight.

"I know you're scared-"

"Try terrified Blaine. I've already lost my mom who made my life a living hell and who tried to kill me, and I might lose my dad who I just got back. It's not fair Blaine. It's just not fair." Kurt told him. Blaine held him as he poured his feeling out.

"It isn't." Blaine agreed. "It's not fair you have all these horrible things happen to you and don't feel like you can live with them. But you have. You've powered through a lot so far and I'd be a horrible boyfriend if I let you give up now. You're dad is as much of a fighter as you are and I have faith he'll be okay. But until he wakes up you need to have hope and not give up. You can do it baby, I know you can. And I'll be here with you no matter what." Blaine said with determination. He would do anything to make Kurt as happy as possible. No matter what he would be at his side. Kurt looked at Blaine with tears still running down his face.

"I really love you." He whispered. He took one of Blaine's hands and held it in his. "I don't think I could do this without you Blaine." Blaine pressed a tender kiss to Kurt's neck.

"I really love you too. I promise you'll make it through this. I know you will." Blaine told him. "Now come on let's get your arm cleaned up and we'll talk about how long you've been hiding that box of yours." Kurt sighed but nodded and let Blaine pull him up and walk him towards the bathroom. Maybe with Blaine's help, he could make it through this.

* * *

><p><strong>Poor Kurt :( But don't worry Blaine is there for him always. Let me know what you thought of this chapter with a review! :)<strong>

**Hint for next chapter: Klaine talk about Kurt's suicidal thoughts, Kurt and Carole moment(s), hospital visits, and maybe more flashbacks.**


	25. Aftermath

**A/N: Hey guys. Sorry you had to wait so long for this chapter. I've been extremely busy lately. But school is basically over for me so you most likely wont have to wait so long again! Yay! :) Anyways thank you for the awesome reviews for the last chapter. I'm glad you guys enjoyed it. I hope you enjoy this one too.**

**Warnings: Past and present suicidal thoughts mentioned and self harm mentioned.**

* * *

><p>"So um..how long have you had that box.." Blaine asked him. Blaine had been quiet the whole time while they cleaned the cuts on Kurt's arm. His mouth was fixed into a thin line and his face, though mostly unreadable, sometimes crumpled into a pained expression. Kurt felt guilty that he didn't think of how Blaine would feel, even though he barely registered he was cutting himself.<p>

"For years." He admitted quietly. He couldn't bring himself to look at Blaine. "I had the uh razor for a long time and I only used it once before.." He glanced at Blaine who had box placed in the space separating both of them. "T-the pills for a couple of years." He swallowed nervously. Blaine nodded to himself as if he were trying to understand why.

"Why did you decide to get the razor?" He basically whispered.

"I-I don't know. I just had it around and hid it under my bed." Kurt told him. "I used it the same day my mom carved the word on my side. She found me cutting myself and she got mad a-and..you already know what happened." Blaine nodded. Kurt hadn't told him that he cut himself before his mother did that to him but now the missing pieces of the story were falling into place.

"And the pills?" He asked, voice breaking a little at the end. Kurt looked away from him and stayed silent. "I-I know this is hard for you to talk about..but I need you to talk to me." Kurt looked up at how broken Blaine sounded. He hadn't realized how much this affected Blaine as well. Blaine's eyes were watery and it seemed as if he were forcing himself not to cry.

"Blaine...do you remember the day we first met?" Kurt asked. Blaine frowned but nodded even though he didn't know what that had to do with this situation. "Blaine..y-you saved my life.." Kurt choked out. Blaine's eyes got wide with disbelief.

"W-what do you mean?" Blaine asked, his voice making it clear he was terrified of Kurt's next words.

"That morning I decided enough was enough." Kurt began, letting his tears fall and not making any move to wipe them. "I decided I would go through one more day of school and one last day at home and then I'd take some pills and cut myself until I couldn't anymore." Kurt just kept talking. Confessing everything he had kept from Blaine. "Then you showed up out of nowhere and you saved me. But I was still going to do it..I-I had no intention of calling you or texting you because I thought you were just being nice. T-things like that didn't happen to me. S-so I was in my bedroom a-a-and I was about to take the pills when you texted me. Y-you stopped me Blaine..I was going to kill myself and you stopped me." Kurt cried and finally looked up to see Blaine holding his knees, body shaking and quietly sobbing. "Blaine?" Kurt asked tentatively. He moved closer to Blaine and placed his hands on Blaine's knees. "I-I'm sorry..I shouldn't have told you that.."

"No!" Blaine croaked as he looked up. "Don't say that. I'm glad you told me." He said seriously before taking a deep breath. "I wasn't even going to go with Jeff that day. Jeff was going to go alone like he did usually but Jeff and I were becoming fast friends so I tagged along and then I found you." Blaine confessed before looking at Kurt. "Kurt I almost didn't go."

"But you did." Kurt said, voice thick with emotion.

"I almost didn't meet you." Blaine said in a small voice. Kurt took his hands.

"But you did Blaine." Kurt said. "It isn't about almost. It happened, you saved me and nothing is going to change that."

"Kurt, I don't think you understand how much you mean to me. To just about anyone you come in contact with. Seeing you like this-" Blaine says gesturing to his arm. "Seeing you do this to yourself hurts. I don't want anything to happen to you. I plan on spending my life with you. Going to New York, finishing school, becoming successful, everything we talked about lately-I want everything with you." Blaine paused to look into Kurt's eyes. "Don't you want that too?

"Blaine of course I want that." Kurt said looking at Blaine with seriousness in his eyes.

"Then why are you doing this?" Blaine asked.

"Because I want my dad back." Kurt answered immediately but cringed at his answer. Yes, technically that was why but it was a little more complicated than that.

"What if I didn't wake up Kurt when I did Kurt? What if you actually killed yourself and it just so happened your dad woke up?" Blaine began asking him.

"What if's aren't important Blaine. I'm alive and my dad is still in a coma. We can just forget about this right now." Kurt said beginning to feel exasperated.

"No because the feeling of wanting to die doesn't just fade away Kurt. You can't just sit there and forget about this." Blaine told him as if he knew. Normally Kurt would have probably asked how Blaine knew but he was too lost in his own head to think about it.

"I can and I will." Kurt said glaring at Blaine. "I'm okay now Blaine, it doesn't matter anymore."

"You can't go from wanting to kill yourself to being okay in the span of an hour Kurt. Stop acting like we can just let it go and talk to me." Blaine rose his voice. The tension in the room was thick.

"I am talking to you! I'm telling you that it's over and done with and I'm okay now!" Kurt snapped.

"I'm not going to just sit here and listen to you blatantly lie like this." Blaine said shaking his head.

"Then leave Blaine. I don't really care." Kurt said crossing his arms and looking away. Blaine sat there for a minute holding his tongue before he said something he regretted. He was usually the calm one in these situations but the argument riled him up exponentially.

"Fine. But I'm taking this-" Blaine said grabbing the razor blade and the pills. "And these too." He stood up to go in Kurt's medicine cabinets to grab other pills and grabbed the two razors he had in the bathroom.

"Whatever Blaine. I wasn't going to do anything anyway." Kurt rolled his eyes. Blaine began grabbing his other things, stuffing the offending items in his bag. He was going to leave but paused at the doorway. He sighed and ran a hand through his slightly gelled hair. He turned back and looked at his boyfriend who was shaking with suppressed sobs. He then walked up to him and leaned down to lift Kurt's face up to look at him. He look slightly annoyed but Blaine could see the pain in between hidden in his eyes. He kissed his forehead softly and stroked his cheek and was glad when Kurt slightly relaxed.

"Don't leave." Kurt whispered. "I'm not okay." Blaine pulled Kurt up and wrapped him up in a tight hug.

"I'll stay as long as you need me." Blaine whispered right back.

* * *

><p>"Hey are you and Blaine okay?" Carole asked Kurt. They were in Burt's hospital room while Finn and Blaine went out to get them sometime to eat and drink.<p>

"Y-yeah we're okay." Kurt answered. He had his arms wrapped protectively around him. It was too warm in the room for him to wear the sweater he was wearing but it was the best way to hide his cuts.

"Okay, just wondering. Finn said he heard some yelling earlier and crying." Carole said and Kurt looked away. Blaine had told him that he had to tell Carole what he did but it was hard to talk about.

"We had a small fight. But we mostly worked it out." Kurt said subconsciously scratching his cuts over through his sweater. Carole noticed the action but didn't comment on it.

"That's good." She smiled. Kurt nodded.

"I'm sorry about freaking out yesterday..I can't really control my emotions when something like this happens." Kurt explained sheepishly.

"It's understandable. He's your dad, honey. You don't have to explain anything to me." Carole said with a warm smile. Kurt gave her a small smile back before they lapsed into a comfortable silence. Finn and Blaine came back with some food minutes later.

* * *

><p>They didn't stay long in the hospital, even though Kurt was hesitant to leave. As soon as they made it to to the Hummel household, Kurt and Blaine retreated to Kurt's room and Kurt tore off his sweater and started scratching his cuts.<p>

"Hey, stop that." Blaine said with a frown, moving Kurt's hand away from his arms. "You're going to make them worse."

"It itches." Kurt complained.

"I could go get you some cream that will make them feel better." Blaine offered. Kurt shook his head.

"It's okay. I'll be fine." Kurt waves him off.

"I still think you should have let me cover them." Blaine says.

"They'll go away soon. I'll be fine." Kurt says while rolling his eyes. Blaine sighs but drops the subject. It was obvious Kurt still just wanted to ignore the cuts.

"I'm gonna go call the guys. They've been blowing up my phone all day." Blaine said. Kurt nodded.

"Tell them I said hi." Kurt says and Blaine nods before leaving the room with his phone. Kurt begins scratching his cuts again as soon as Blaine leaves. Blaine had helped him stop the bleeding and put Vaseline on them to help it heal some, but they didn't have anything to properly clean the cuts.

Kurt took a deep breath before making a decision in his head and leaving his room to go to Carole who was in the kitchen.

"Carole?" Kurt basically whispered. She turned around and gave him a questioning smile. "Can I uh tell you something and not get in trouble?" He asked. She chuckled a bit.

"What happened sweetie?" She asked. Kurt bit his lip not knowing how to go about telling her.

"I did something stupid." He began. "That's what Blaine and I were yelling about earlier."

"What did you do?" She asked. He studied her expression for any judgment and happily found there was none so he went on.

"I uh...after my freak out at the hospital and stuff, I freaked out more after I woke up at home..." Kurt paused and took a shuttering breath.

"You don't have to tell me Kurt. I'm not going to push it." She said not wanting him to give himself a panic attack.

"N-no. I need to tell you but it's really hard because I don't want you to act differently towards me. I feel like if I tell you then I might ruin the chance of ever having a full family again. I feel like everything I do is going to ruin any chance of me having a normal life." Kurt admitted to Carole.

"Kurt, sweetie, nothing you tell me is going to make me look at you any different." Carole assured him. He bit his lip and looked away. He opened and closed his mouth a few times trying to find the words but finally just held his arm out and showed her. He heard a gasp and flinched a little when he felt a hand on his arm.

"Oh Kurt. Why?" She asked. Kurt couldn't bring himself to look at her.

"I don't know...I just want bad things to stop happening to me." Kurt mumbled. He expected to be scolded and be told to never do it again but he didn't expect the tight hug she enveloped him in.

"I know you probably hear this a lot, but everything will be okay. You just have to keep living." She told him.

"It's so hard sometimes. I just don't want to continue being me." Kurt sniffles sadly. "Living is just too difficult."

"Talking to your therapist isn't helping?" Carole asked. Kurt shrugged.

"Sometimes. She wants to give me pills and stuff but I don't want them. She thinks I'm depressed and have PTSD."

"Do you think that will help you?" Carole asked him and he shrugged again.

"I feel like people will think I'm crazy and messed up if I'm on pills." Kurt told her.

"Kurt we only want you to feel better. I know I haven't known you for that long but I care about you. It breaks my heart to see you going through all this. It hurts looking at what you did to yourself. I don't know how you feel but all I know is that you are a fighter. I believe you can make it through all this pain." Carole told him with a watery smile. Kurt looked at her.

"How?"

"Where do you see yourself in ten years?" She asked abruptly.

"In New York, with Blaine. We both finished college and both our careers are launching. Blaine is a musician and I'm...I-I don't know what I am but I'm good at it. We are thinking about starting a family. You and dad come to visit whenever you can." Kurt answers immediately. Carole happily noticed he had a slight smile on his face when he talked about the future.

"Make that your goal. Just know that, if you want that to happen, you can't give up. Promise me you wont give up." She said. Kurt looked down and bit his lip. He didn't know if he could promise that. What if things got worse? What is his dad didn't wake up? What if where he saw himself in ten years was just a silly dream?

"I promise." Kurt answered despite his doubts. "I want to keep trying."

"Good." Carole responded with a nod. "Because I really like having you around." Kurt couldn't help but smile at that. "Now come on. I have some cream that with stop the itching and we are going to wrap up those cuts."

* * *

><p>"Hey dad."<p>

Kurt had decided to go back to the hospital alone the next day. After all the drama he's caused he just wanted to be alone with his dad.

"I really miss you. And it really sucks that you can't respond to me right now." He pauses to wipe his eyes. "I've been really stupid lately. But I just want you back. I want you to tell me everything is going to be okay." Kurt holds in his sobs. "Please wake up soon." He whispers. He grabs his father's hand and squeezes it, hoping for a squeeze back but gets nothing. There is nothing more Kurt wants right then, than for his dad to squeeze back.

_Oh yeah, I'll tell you something  
>I think you'll understand<br>When I'll say that something  
>I wanna hold your hand<br>I wanna hold your hand  
>I wanna hold your hand<em>

_Oh please, say to me_  
><em>You'll let me be your man<em>  
><em>And please, say to me<em>  
><em>You'll let me hold your hand<em>  
><em>Now let me hold your hand<em>  
><em>I wanna hold your hand<em>

_And when I touch you I feel happy_  
><em>Inside<em>  
><em>It's such a feeling that my love<em>  
><em>I can't hide<em>  
><em>I can't hide<em>  
><em>I can't hide<em>

_Yeah, you've got that something_  
><em>I think you'll understand<em>  
><em>When I'll say that something<em>  
><em>I wanna hold your hand<em>  
><em>I wanna hold your hand<em>  
><em>I wanna hold your hand<em>  
><em>I wanna hold your hand.<em>

"That voice of yours is really something special." the words were barely a whisper and sounded very weak but they made Kurt look up in shock. He felt the hand squeezing back weakly.

"Dad?!"

* * *

><p><strong>Guess who's up? :) <strong>

**Hope you guys liked this chapter! Let me know what you think with a review! :)**

**Hints for next chapter: Mostly the aftermath of Burt waking up. :)**

**Also a side note: I'm gonna meet Chris Colfer at one of his book signings soon! I'm so excited! :) But i have no idea what to say to him just yet! Eeeek :O**


	26. Getting some help

**A/N: I am sooooo sorry guys! I've been super busy lately. I had graduation practice and my actual graduation and stuff. So I barely had time to work on anything. But I finally finished this chapter. I hope you like it! :)**

**I used a lot of information about therapy and PTSD and I hope it's right. If not please forgive me and let me know! :) Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>"Good news, Burt will be able to go home this afternoon." The doctor told the family happily. Carole, Finn, and Blaine smiled in thanks at the doctor. Kurt was at Burt's bed fussing over him.<p>

"That's wonderful news." Carole said.

"Are you sure? Is he completely fine? How do you know this won't happen again?" Kurt fired questions left and right at the doctor. Burt rolled his eyes at his son.

"Easy kiddo. If the doctor said I can go home, then I can go home." Burt said, trying to calm Kurt down.

"Yes Kurt, your dad will be fine as long as he takes two of these pills a day, doesn't get too stressed, watches what he eats—which means little to no salts, and takes it easy for a few weeks." The doctor listed off. Everyone was sure Kurt was taking mental notes of everything the doctor was saying.

"Do you have a recommended food list? Are there certain drinks he shouldn't have? Should he be on bed rest? Should-"

"Kurt sweetie calm down." Carole said with a sympathetic look on her face. "It's okay, we're going to take good of Burt together."

"But-"

"Kurt, baby, it's okay." Blaine said rubbing his arms soothingly.

"Yes Kurt, I'm sure everything is fine. Just remember what I said and Burt will make a good recovery. No need to worry." The doctor told Kurt. Kurt took a deep breath and nodded.

"Okay. No worrying." Kurt said calmly though it was easy to tell he was still far from calm.

* * *

><p>In a few hours they were finally all back home. Everyone seemed much more at ease now that Burt was okay, except Kurt. Kurt was watching his dad's every move, making sure nothing went wrong.<p>

"Are you hungry dad? I can make you some soup?" Kurt asked as soon as they were all settled in the living room.

"No, it's okay son." Burt declined his offer. " Why don't we just all relax for a while before it's time for dinner. I say we order out." Everyone else nodded, except Kurt.

"Pizza!" Finn exclaimed.

"I could go for pizza. Blaine? Carole?" Burt asked. They nodded.

"Pizza? Are you sure that's okay? Why not salads or something healthy and not greasy?" Kurt asked, obviously not happy with the idea of having take out on his dad's first day back home.

"Kurt, Burt can have a little pizza. It's fine as long as he doesn't go overboard." Carole told him gently. Kurt opened his mouth to retort but Blaine pulled him down next to him and wrapped an arm around him.

"Your dad is fine." Blaine whispered softly to him. "You need to relax baby." Kurt sighed and nodded but didn't say anything.

"I'll order the pizza! Kurt do you want the veggie pizza again?" Finn asked, grabbing his phone and looking towards Kurt.

"I'm not that hungry." He muttered, making Blaine sigh.

"Get the veggie pizza Finn." Blaine said, ignoring what Kurt had said. Finn nodded and made the call. "Excuse us for a second." Blaine said taking Kurt's hand and leading him away from the room. He took them into Kurt's room and closed the door. He turned around and noticed the way Kurt's chest was heaving. He walked over and placed his hands on Kurt's shoulders gently.

"Breathe Kurt." He said in a low voice. "Come on. In and out, do it with me." Blaine said, taking a deep breath and letting it out with Kurt. Soon enough Kurt had calmed down. "Are you okay now?"

"I'm fine. Can we go back now?" Kurt asked, obviously deflecting.

"No. You're freaking out over little things." Blaine said.

"No, I'm just being careful. I don't want my dad to have another heart attack." Kurt snapped. "What's wrong with wanting my dad to healthy?"

"Nothing baby. But a slice or two of pizza isn't going to put him back in the hospital." Blaine told Kurt calmly. He knew Kurt was still shaken with the fact that he could have lost his dad, again. "Now, I want you to take a deep breath and tell me what's going on in your head right now." Blaine said softly. Kurt closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I-i...I just don't want it to happen again. I don't think I could take it. I was without my dad for 7 years and I just got him back. And then I almost lost him again. It's not fair Blaine. I just have all these feelings inside of me and I just want them out. I want to feel normal. I want to just be happy that my dad is home but I can't because I'm scared that one false move I make will ruin everything." Kurt admitted. Blaine looked at him in shock.

"You can't possibly think that your dad's heart attack was your fault right?" Blaine asked Kurt and Kurt looked away.

"What else could it be? I'm the reason my mom ruined my life and I'm the reason for my dad's heart attack. I can't do anything right." Kurt poured out all of his emotions. Blaine couldn't believe what he was hearing. He knew Kurt had issues with thinking rationally when bad things happened in his life that he didn't know how to deal with but he never realized just how bad it was.

"Kurt you had nothing to do with either one of those." Blaine assured him. Kurt looked at him in disbelief. So Blaine impulsively took his hand and took him back into the living where Burt, Carole, And Finn were sitting and watching TV. "Kurt thinks that your heart attack is his fault." He told them. They looked at them both in shock.

"What?" Burt asked gruffly. His surprise was evident on his face.

"That's crazy Kurt." Carole told him.

"Yeah, it's not like you went inside his body and punched his heart or something." Finn said. Everyone looked at his like he was insane for a second before turning back to Kurt.

"Kurt, why would you think that?" Burt asked Kurt. Kurt looked down at his feet and shifted uncomfortably.

"Because I always cause bad things to happen. I probably stressed you out or something." Kurt said weakly.

"Kurt the only one to blame for this is me. _I_ ate carelessly. _I _wasn't taking good care of myself. _I _am the reason for my heart attack. Not you." Burt said. "You need to stop beating yourself up for things out of your control."

"I don't know how else to deal with it." Kurt told him honestly.

"We're going to put you back on regular therapy sessions. You'll go once every week. No arguments." Burt said adamantly. Kurt nodded but didn't look too thrilled about it. "Now come here and give me a hug." Kurt couldn't help but smile at that and walked over to hug his dad. It felt good to have him back.

* * *

><p>"Like I said before Kurt has PTSD. Would you like a run down of his symptoms again?" Julia, Kurt's therapist asked. Kurt was sitting in the middle of Blaine and Burt. Carole had told Burt and Blaine about how Kurt had declined any kind of treatment. He managed to delay this appointment for two weeks but not any longer. He knew he was annoying his dad with his over protectiveness. He had cooked a healthy meal every day specifically for Burt, he made sure he wasn't doing any strenuous work, and made sure he didn't have to life a finger. Burt knew Kurt only wanted him to be healthy and safe but he was treating him like a child. It had a lot to do with the fact that his heart attack could have taken him away from Kurt again and he knew that brought back bad memories for Kurt. Which was one of the reasons that they were at Kurt's therapist's office.<p>

"Yes please." Burt answered. Kurt sunk lower in his seat. He hated hearing his symptoms.

"Okay, well as we know, Kurt's been through a series of traumatic events. Being abused at home, almost being killed, and his mother's suicide. All of these were direct exposure to death and injuries. As a result he has flashbacks and nightmares about previous events. Then of course thoughts that make him think it was his fault or something bad is going to happen to him again. And of course when he avoids talking about something because the memory is too much. He blames himself for what happened and sometimes feels unsafe and sad even though he has no reason to feel that way. He feels constantly on edge and sometimes he's easily irritated." Julia looked up from her notes about Kurt and looked at the three men. "Am I missing something?" She asked. She watched as Blaine nudged Kurt a little and Kurt narrowed his eyes at him and gestured to his dad. Blaine glared back at Kurt and made some kind of gesture to her.

"Boys?" They both stopped at the sound Burt's voice. "Anything you'd like to say?" Blaine looked at his boyfriend again before Kurt sighed and pulled up his sleeve and revealed his scarred arm. He heard his dad take in a sharp breath.

"When did you do that?" Burt asked. Kurt didn't look up. He didn't want to see the look of disappointment on his face.

"When you were in a coma." Kurt murmured. "I'm sorry."

"Was that the first time you did that?" Burt asked him. Kurt shook his head and closed his eyes tight. He _hated _talking about this. Blaine rubbed his boyfriend's back soothingly.

"Do you want me to tell him everything?" Blaine whispered in his ear. Kurt shook his head and took a deep breath. He took Blaine's hand and squeezed it while he began to talk.

"I was having suicidal thoughts when I was at my first high school." Kurt told him. He slowly told him the story he told Blaine a couple of weeks ago. Then he went into why he did it when Burt was in a coma. It took a lot out of him but it felt a lot better to let it all out.

"We'll talk more about this at home." Burt said sounding a bit choked up. Kurt nodded. "Does this have anything to do with his disorder?" Burt asked Julia. She nodded.

"Yes, it's not uncommon for someone with PTSD to have suicidal thoughts." Julia said. "Kurt and I could talk about them at our next session if he likes." Kurt shrugs but nods because he knows he will tell her. "Now I want to talk to you about giving him some antidepressants and having him do some psychotherapy."

"How would that help him?" Blaine asked her.

"Well the antidepressants by themselves most likely won't help. That's why we place them along with psychotherapy. But either way it takes about 6-8 weeks for the antidepressants to show affects that it's working." Julia informed them.

"What would we be doing in psychotherapy?" Kurt asked. He didn't think it would help him at all but he just wanted to know.

"Well it'll be more in depth than what we do know. One way we can do it talk about your experience with your mom several times until it doesn't affect you anymore." Kurt was already shaking his head at that.

"Why would I want to constantly relive that?" Kurt asked angrily. "I'm not going through that."

"Calm down kiddo." Burt said placing a hand on his shoulder before turning to Julia. "You said that was only one of the ways?"

"There's another way of course. It's three phases. The first phase deals with regulating your emotions, helping him relax, and reducing symptoms. The next phase deals with reviewing the the trauma and helping him process it. The last phase helps him to understand the trauma and himself and help him move forward from that." Julia told them. Kurt liked how this one sounded better. "There are other ways but this one is the one we use for patients like Kurt."

"What do you think Kurt?" Burt asked.

"Sounds okay. But I still don't want to take antidepressants." He said crossing his arms.

"Kurt, it could help you feel better." Blaine tried to reason with him.

"You don't know that for sure." Kurt countered. "Why can't I just have the psychotherapy?"

"Because it's much more helpful if you have both." Julia answered. "Listen why don't you just try it for a year. Then if you don't like the results, I'll take you off the pills."

"Six months." He demanded instead.

"Baby seriously?" Blaine groaned.

"You're not the one who has to take pills Blaine." Kurt shot back at him.

"Kurt, you're going to take them okay. They'll make you feel better." Burt said adamantly. Kurt sighed knowing there was no way out of this.

"You can pick up your prescription within a week." Julia told them. "We'll start psychotherapy then Kurt. Deal?"

"Deal I guess." Kurt grumbled. Burt sighed.

"Lighten up kiddo. We only want the best for you. And I think this is going to help you a lot. Just wait and see." Burt said and sounded sure of himself. Kurt sighed and just nodded. He still didn't like this.

* * *

><p>"What's so bad about taking antidepressants?" Wes asked his friend who had been moping all day.<p>

"I'm not crazy. I don't want people to think that." Kurt whined. He and Wes were walking to lunch together.

"No one is going to think you're crazy. Why are you so stubborn about this?" Wes asked him. Kurt sighed, why did no one understand him?

"Because I want to be normal. What if I take the stupid pills and feel better. Then when they say it's okay to stop taking them I just start feeling bad again." It dawned on Wes what Kurt was really afraid of.

"You are normal Kurt. And maybe the pills will work. There is no way to tell unless you actually take them for a while." Wes told him. "And no one is going to judge you for taking them Kurt. You know we all really care about you."

"I guess I need to actually put the effort in then huh?" Kurt said realizing that he was fussing over things he didn't really have control over. He should just be trying to fuss over things he could make happen.

"I think you might thank yourself if you do." Wes said smiling at his friend, glad to see a spark twinkling in his eye again.

"Wes I think I want to rejoin the Warblers."

* * *

><p>"Who's this mystery new member Wes?" David asked trying to get Wes to crack. He told all the Warblers that they would be having a new member join and that they need to be to practice on time.<p>

"Yeah Wes, we want to know already." Jeff said bouncing in his seat. "Is it that new freshman you didn't let join because be couldn't hit the note at the end of his song?"

"No. He was terrible and you know it." Wes scrunched up his face in disgust.

"He cried Wes. He was so close to actually begging you to let him in." Nick reminded him.

"He couldn't even make the sounds I asked him to make. The whole group would be thrown out of whack if I let him in." Wes ranted to the group. They laughed at how easy it was to rile him up.

"Wes where is this fantastic new member anyways." Blaine said still wanting to know who it was. Wes' phone rumbled and he looked at it and smiled.

"He should be here very soon." Wes said. A few minutes later the door creaked open slowly and you could feel the anticipation build up in the room. Kurt stepped through the door and Jeff let out an annoyed sigh.

"Aww it's only Kurt." He grumbled.

"Thanks for the warm welcome Jeff." Kurt said sarcastically.

"Hey I thought you went home." David said sounding confused. Kurt looked at Wes in confusion.

"You didn't tell them?" He asked. Wes shrugged with a smirk and Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Warblers, Kurt is our new member. He wants to sing with us again." Wes told them proudly. Everyone looked at Kurt in surprise. Jeff was the first one to run a him and hug him tight, lifting him up in the air.

"Jeff!" Kurt squeaked. "Let me go!"

"I knew you'd join again! I knew it!" Jeff yelled happily before letting Kurt down. Nick was the next one to pull his friend into a hug.

"I can't wait to here you sing again." Nick whispered to him causing Kurt to smile. One by one the Warblers came up to hug him, pat him on the back, and tell him how much they missed him being in the group. David even shed a few tears.

"They are man tears and never tell anyone okay! Never!" David said wiping his eyes suspiciously. Blaine was the last one to hug him. Holding him tightly with a proud smile on his face.

"I'm glad you're back."

"Me too."

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you guys liked this chapter! Please tell me what you think by leaving a review! :)<strong>

**Hint(s) for next chapter: All i will say is that Kurt will begin taking his antidepressants...any guesses how that'll go?**

**P.S. I just want to thank the reviewer (relatable) for their wonderful review. I will think about making one of my works into a book. I do hope to publish something one day. I'm glad you found comfort in my story. It really means a lot that you did!**

**P.P.S. I started writing my homeless Kurt fic. I have the first chapter done. I might post it soon but I'm not sure yet. I'm also thinking about starting to write a prequel to this story. And I started writing a singledad!Kurt story. Let me know what you guys want to read the most.**

**P.P.P.S. I'm writing Chris Colfer a poem for his book signing I'm going to on the 8th. I hope he likes it :X**


	27. Not doing so well

**A/N: I'm so sorry guys for taking forever again. But I wrote you guys a nice long chapter :D Well longer than lately :) I hope you enjoy it!**

**Warning for implied sexual situation(s)**

* * *

><p>"The common side affects for Zoloft are headache, nausea, increased sweating, agitation, decreased sexual desire, feeling tired, trouble sleeping, loss of appetite..."<p>

"So basically I'll be a walking zombie forever." Kurt interrupted dryly, looking at his therapist unamused.

"Kurt she wasn't done yet." Blaine chastised his boyfriend. Kurt sighed and Julia smiled at him with understanding.

"The common side affects usually don't last more than a few weeks. So it may be rough at first but it'll get better." She told him reassuringly. "Now since you've had some suicidal thoughts lately, I should warn you sometimes they occur while you take the medication. Just make sure to tell someone when you are having them okay?" She asked raising a questioning eyebrow at him.

"Yes." He grumbled when he noticed Blaine giving him a similar look.

"Also no matter how much you might want to, do _not_ stop taking the pill. It's very dangerous." Julia warned him.

"I won't, I promise." He said rolling his eyes. Julia nodded, satisfied with his answer.

"Okay, so gradually you're dosage will increase. We usually start patients off with 50 milligrams but PTSD patients can start off with 25 milligrams." Julia told him. "Take one pill a day, try not to miss a day and try to take it around the same time everyday. You can take it with or without food and you can take it with anything except alcohol, but I'd advise you to take it with water. Any questions?"

"Is this part of psychotherapy?" Kurt asked since he knew he had to start taking the Zoloft today.

"Not really. We'll start next week." She told him. Kurt nodded. "Okay if you have any weird or unusual reactions to the medicine you are allowed to stop taking it and you can come see me right away." Kurt nodded and looked at the clock and saw that their time was thankfully up. He liked Julia but he didn't like the fact that he had to take antidepressants. Even though his friends and family had been really understanding about it, he still didn't like the idea.

* * *

><p>"Okay buddy. Here's your glass of water and your pills." Burt said placing the glass on the table next to Kurt and the bottle of pills in Kurt's palm. Kurt glared at him.<p>

"I could have gotten it myself." He grumbled. Burt just laughed.

"Yeah but you've been delaying the time you've set to take it all day." Burt reminded him. Kurt sighed and grabbed the glass of water. He was about to take a sip when he noticed how quiet it had gotten. He looked around to find Blaine, Finn, and Burt staring at him. Carole was hovering around but she was the only one acting normally around him.

"Can you guys not look at me?" Kurt snapped. They all had the decency to look sheepish.

"Is the pill gonna help with his attitude?" Finn asked out loud and covered his mouth when he realized he did.

"Finn I will shove this bottle up your-"

"Boys, why don't we just leave Kurt alone and watch some TV?" Carole interrupted and the men reluctantly left their spots in the kitchen to go to the living room. Kurt gave Carole a grateful smile.

"Thanks Carole." He said. She smiled and nodded.

"They mean well but they can be a little too much sometimes can't they?" Carole asked. He shrugged.

"I don't think they trust me to actually take the pill." He admitted him thoughts.

"Is that why you're so hesitant?" She asked trying to pry a bit.

"Part of the reason. I just don't think it's going to work." He tried to explain to her.

"Well you can kill two birds with one stone if you just take the pill." She said with a playful wink. "But if you really don't want to take it, I can talk your father out of it." Kurt looked at her in surprise.

"Would you really do that for me?" He asked with disbelief in his tone.

"If you're really so put off about taking it, of course." She said with an honest warm smile. Kurt smiled at her but then bit his lip. He really didn't want to take the pill but he knew it was for his own good. He knew everyone just wanted him to feel better. So he shook his head. He opened the bottle and took out a pill. He then proceeded to take a sip of water and pop the pill in his mouth and swallow. He looked at Carole who was giving him a proud smile. He smiled back, maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

* * *

><p>He hated the pills. <em>Hated<em> them. He didn't feel better at all. In fact, if anything he felt worse than he had in a while. It felt as if he had all the side affects that Julia was taking about. He couldn't sleep properly, he felt restless, he's been having random headaches and some dizzy spells. It was terrible. It's almost been a month and he wanted to take back his decision already.

"You're extremely bitchy today." Santana snorted. Kurt asked her to come to his house after school since they hadn't hung out for a while. She was the only one who he felt understood him sometimes besides Blaine and lately Wes.

"It's the stupid pills. They make me feel like shit." Kurt groaned.

"It'll get better though." She said with a shrug and Kurt gave her a questioning look. "My brother took antidepressants before."

"I thought you said he was in prison?" Kurt said with a raised eyebrow. She shrugged.

"Well he's not depressed anymore so they worked." She said, ignoring Kurt unimpressed look. "I know it's different for you and you hate it but you just have to tough it out." Kurt sighed and nodded because he knew she was right. "Why aren't you out with Anderson, like you always are?"

"He's hanging out with the guys at his house. And they are treating me like I'll explode any second." Kurt told her. At school it had gotten really annoying that his friends would always ask him if he was alright and if he felt any different. They would also just blame his irritation on the pills, and yeah sometimes it probably was because of the pills but mostly it was because he was being treated like a baby. It reminded him of how they treated him when he told them he was being abused by his mother.

...

_Ever since he had told the rest of his friends about his abuse at home, they have been more overprotective than they have ever been with him. It was sweet and nice to have people who cared about him so much, but he couldn't help be feel a little overwhelmed by it sometimes._

_Since he didn't sing anymore, he figured the least he could do was help some of the guys out with their dance moves since a lot of them were kind of stiff. He didn't realize the reaction he would get when he messed up a move._

"_Kurt? Are you okay? Do you need a nurse?" Jeff asked frantically, checking his face for any signs of distress._

"_I'm fin-"_

"_You shouldn't be dancing so much. Weren't you limping the other day?" David fussed over him pulling him up and onto one of the couches in the room._

"_Guys. I'm oka-"_

"_He was limping a few days ago. We should carry him around or something." Nick said picking his legs up to elevate them on the table. "Wes you should look at his ankles." Kurt gave them all an incredulous look._

"_Seriously I'm fine!" He raised his voice but they ignored him._

"_Do they feel swollen Kurt?" Wes asked him gently massaging his ankles. Kurt glared at him._

"_Blaaaine!" He whined. "Make them stop." Blaine came over from where he was watching the whole scene play out across the room._

"_Guys Kurt's fine. Let's give him some space." He said as he sat down next to his boyfriend. The boys reluctantly dispersed and most of the other members who were left in the dark about Kurt's situation looked at them in confusion. _

"_Are you sure you're okay?" Blaine asked, just to make sure. Kurt narrowed his eyes at him._

"_I'm fine. I would tell you guys if I wasn't okay." He told him and Blaine nodded._

"_I know. I'm sorry. We just want to make sure you aren't going to try hiding that you're hurt. You did it for so long before and we just want to make sure you're okay." Kurt's eyes softened at Blaine's response. He knew he had hid the secret from his friends so long that they had to be a bit skeptical when Kurt claimed he was fine._

"_I promise I will tell you guys if I'm not okay."_

_..._

He's broken that promise a myriad of times but eventually the truth had come out. He hated people worrying about him but at the same time he craved it because he knew that meant people cared about him.

"Why don't we go over to his house and you can apologize to the guys for being such an ass?" She asked with a smirk. He glared at her.

"You don't even know what happened." He exclaimed.

"I know you did something for Blaine not to be over here. He's _always_ over here."

"_He is no-_"

"Hey kids. Where's Blaine?" Burt came in the house with Carole following behind. Santana smirked in Kurt's direction and Kurt just groans.

"He's hiding away from mister grumps over here." Santana said, lips quirking up when Kurt leers at her.

"You've got to stop taking your frustrations out on people buddy." Burt said with a frown. "You know when you're in New York you guys will have to deal with your problems instead of just running away from them." Burt didn't notice the way Kurt looked away when he mentioned New York but Santana did.

"I'm not running away from anything! I'm just trying to calm down so I don't bite anyone's head off." Kurt seethed.

"But what are you angry at honey?" Carole asked softly. Kurt groaned and held his head. He was getting a headache again.

"I don't know. Having people looking out for me and being worried feels nice I think. But it also makes me angry for some reason." He explained to them.

"Do you think that maybe you're still getting used to it? I mean 7 years of pure hell and a year of healing doesn't mean that the 7 years disappear." Santana told him. Kurt shrugged. He was still getting used to a lot of stuff.

"I guess." Kurt murmured. Santana rolled her eyes before grabbing his hand.

"Let's go to your boyfriend's house so you can make up and you can stop being so grumpy." Santana commanded. Kurt sighed and let her pull him towards the door.

"I'll be back later dad!" He yelled over to him. They were at the door when Finn came striding through.

"Hey dude." Finn greeted with an unsure grin. He wasn't quite sure how to act around Kurt either. He frowned when he saw who Kurt was with. "Why is she here? Where's Blaine?"

"You know Blaine isn't _always_ here." Kurt insisted. Santana snickered and just pulled him out the door.

* * *

><p>"Hey Blaine..and friends. Where's Kurt?" Cooper asked as he came down the stairs from his room. He was visiting for a while before he had to go back to New York.<p>

"He decided to go home." Blaine said shortly. He was concentrating on writing his essay to help him get into Nyada..and other colleges, just in case.

"He's at home because we're 'annoying assholes who are treating him like porcelain.'. David told him using air quotes. Cooper snorted.

"And he's going to 'go hang out with people who won't make him feel like an invalid.'." Jeff added rolling his eyes. Cooper laughed at the boys.

"Don't forget 'Stop asking if I'm emotional because of the pills. Maybe I'm emotional because you guys are being idiots.'." Nick played along with David and Jeff. Cooper laughed but he knew that Kurt was probably just having a hard time adjusting to everything.

"Give Kurt a break you guys." Wes frowned. "He's been kind of mean lately but it isn't his fault. Just give him some time. He's been through a lot lately."

"Someone's being a protective older brother." Cooper joked. Wes rolled his eyes.

"Well if his boyfriend isn't going to defend him, I might as well." Wes snapped. Blaine looked up with a sigh.

"They were just playing around Wes. We know Kurt's just adjusting to his medicine. We just need to give him some time." Blaine said before going back to his essay. Wes scoffed.

"Have you been paying any attention to Kurt since his dad's been out of the hospital? Since he's been taking the medicine. No you're focused on college. Something Kurt's not even sure he wants to go to." Wes barked and froze when he realized what he had just revealed. Blaine looked up at him slowly, expression unreadable.

"What do you mean he doesn't want to go to college?" Blaine asked seemingly calm. Wes knew he was anything but calm.

"Listen why don't you just ask Kurt about that?" Wes tried to get off the subject.

"No. Why do you know that and I don't?" Blaine demanded to know. Wes sighed wishing he had kept his mouth shut. He kind of wished Kurt hadn't told him now.

...

_Kurt was not dealing with his medication very well. And truth be told, the guys weren't being very helpful. Blaine wasn't being his usual amazing attentive self that he usually was when Kurt was going through too much. He was too nervous about his Nyada audition, finishing applications, and other stuff pertaining to college that Wes had to admit was important but still Kurt needed help. So naturally when things go wrong and he's the only one who see's it, he tries to go fix it._

_He decided to show up at Kurt's house one day when he knew Blaine wouldn't be there. Kurt was surprised to see him but he could also tell he was relived to see him as well._

"_Hey Wes, I didn't know you were coming over." Kurt said as he let him in the house. _

"_I know. Sorry, I should have told you." Wes responded sheepishly. Kurt laughed and led him to his room with him._

"_No it's okay. I'm glad you came, I needed some company." Kurt said as he plopped down on his bed._

"_Where's Blaine?" Wes asked. "And your family too." he added when he realized that Kurt was home alone._

"_Out with his family I believe. And my dad is working, Finn is at his girlfriend's house, and Carole is at work as well." Kurt told him. He was fiddling with his sleeve which he knew from Blaine was a nervous habit of Kurt's._

"_Are you okay Kurt?" Wes blurted out the question. Kurt's expression darkened a bit when he heard the question he was so tired of hearing all the time now. Wes watched Kurt's facial expression shift to something more open and his face surprisingly crumpled and Wes knew Kurt had been holding in something._

"_Can you keep a secret?" Kurt asked, voice just above a whisper. Wes didn't like where this was going._

"_Depends on what is Kurt." He said carefully. Kurt nodded and took a deep breath._

"_I'm feeling really overwhelmed right now. My dad is out of the hospital and that's amazing but he's still recovering. He wants to buy a ring for Carole but with his hospital bills, my therapy bills, my medication, and everything he's pressed for money. He's been working extra shifts because of that." Kurt took another breath before he continued. "And Carole is getting tired of waiting so she's taking an extra shift so she could buy a ring for my dad and I'm left at home alone a lot...which I guess I'm more use to than I want to be." Wes felt his heart clench while his friend spoke._

"_Kurt, you could just call one of us to come over." Wes told his friend._

"_I know some of the guys don't appreciate my moods. I'm t-trying to control myself really but it's just how I'm feeling now. I can't sleep right, eat right, think right-"_

"_Have you told Blaine?" Wes interrupted. Kurt looked down._

"_I-I don't want him to worry. He needs to focus on himself for once instead of me." Kurt said as if he's rehearsed the line a million times. Wes frowned at that response._

"_Who told you that?" He asked._

"_Finn's girlfriend Rachel is applying to Nyada and I mentioned that Blaine wanted to go ther-"_

"_Wait don't you want to go there too?" Wes asked and Kurt's face flushed. "Kurt what's going on?"_

"_Let me finish first please." Kurt pleaded with him. Wes nodded and Kurt continued. "Okay so I mentioned that Blaine wanted to go there and she asked how is he prepared for the audition process and stuff if he's always with me. And she started ranting about stuff and she said if I cared about Blaine's future that he needs time to himself and I need to stop being so needy." He finished with a sniff._

"_What a bitch." Wes fumed. He didn't expect Kurt's quiet answer._

"_But she's right."_

"_Kurt-" _

"_She's right okay. I know I'm really dependent on him. I try not to be but when someone's been you're source of comfort for so long it's hard to not depend on them. He makes me feel so safe and loved and for a long time I wasn't able to feel that way." Kurt said in a small voice. "And now I can, so I should just let go a little right?"_

"_Look you and Blaine are a little codependent but so what? You're in love." Wes tried to reason with him._

"_I already told Blaine he should focus a bit more on what he wants to. He didn't seem to mind."_

"_Do you realize Blaine would probably dye his hair purple for you?" Wes cried. "He will do just about anything to make you happy. And mixed in with the fact that he's kind of oblivious he doesn't see that you're trying to push him away."_

"_Well maybe it's better to push him away because If I'm going to be here and he's going to be in New York we might as well get use to it." Kurt hissed. Wes looked at him in shock._

"_Wait what?" Wes asked causing Kurt to look down again._

"_I'm not ready to leave my dad yet Wes." He whispered. "I love New York. I really do. But I can't go. I'm unstable, I'm not ready, and it's best if I just stay here." Wes eyes couldn't have gotten any wider._

"_W-what about your perfect plan with the being successful and getting a cat and adopting adorable kids?" Wes exclaimed. He didn't understand how Kurt had made a full 360 from his decision a few weeks ago._

"_I still want that to happen. Next year maybe I'll go to New York. But for now I think I have to stay here." He said with sad but honest eyes and Wes knew he had to back off._

"_When do you plan on telling Blaine?" Wes asked quietly._

"_Soon. But please don't tell him before I get the chance. He won't be happy."_

"_I won't I promise."_

_..._

Blaine was quiet after he told him the truth. All of the guys were. Cooper was the first to speak Blaine.

"Squirt. Are you okay?" He asked, moving to put a comforting hand on his brother's shoulder. Blaine didn't react. Right that second the doorbell rung several times. Cooper reluctantly left to go open the door.

"When did he tell you that?" Blaine asked Wes.

"A few weeks ago." Wes told him. "...He was going to tell you soon."

"He could have just told me when he knew he didn't want to go to New York!" He yelled.

"Don't be angry with him. He needed to work up to that. It isn't easy." Wes said defensively.

"Well you think hearing from someone else that you're boyfriend is already breaking his promise is easy?" Blaine snapped back.

"Promises get broken all the time. Doesn't mean that things won't be okay." Wes retorted.

"How do you know that. What if he never-" He stopped yelling when he saw Cooper walk back in with two people following him inside. Kurt and Santana.

"What's with all the shouting?" Kurt asked curiously.

"They're probably mimicking your attitude." Santana teased. Kurt shook his head and chose to ignore her when he saw how angry Blaine and Wes seemed.

"Blaine, honey are you okay?" Kurt asked concerned going over to him and taking his hand. When Blaine tore his hand away from his he looked at him with hurt and shock. "Wha-"

"Why didn't you tell me you weren't going to New York with me?" Blaine asked, voice breaking a bit towards the end. Kurt paled and he looked at Wes.

"Kurt I'm so sorry." Wes said with sad eyes. Kurt just gave him a 'we'll talk later' look before looking back at Blaine.

"Blaine- I-I'm sorry I-"

"No I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you couldn't just talk with me about this." Blaine said interrupting any response Kurt would have had. "Why do you always do this? Why can't you just talk to me?" Blaine asked sounding angry but looked more sad than anything else.

"Can we talk in private?" Kurt asked. He didn't want to talk about this in front of everyone.

"Oh! Now you want to talk!" Blaine fumed and Kurt felt tears burning in his eyes. He had never seen Blaine so angry. It scared him. Santana saw this and decided to step in.

"Jesus Christ will you just listen to him!" Santana hissed at Blaine. "He's having a hard time dealing with these stupid pills he doesn't even want to take, he's been with his dad for like a year and almost lost him a few weeks ago, and you expect him to be ready to start over _again_ somewhere else? Yes, he should have told you earlier but he's trying to tell you now. So instead of being a dick, why don't you shut up and listen?" She spat angrily before turning to the rest of the group. "And you idiots, how about we move to another room and leave them alone?" She said with a deadly look and all the guys basically ran from the room. She followed with one last glare at Blaine.

Kurt and Blaine both stood in their spots for a while not saying anything. Both of them not knowing where to start.

"What does this mean for us?" Kurt jumped at the sound of Blaine's voice. He sounded so sad and unsure.

"What do you mean?" Kurt asked him. He wanted to move closer to him and touch him but he wasn't sure if it would be welcome.

"While you're here and I'm in New York. What's going to happen to us?" He asked looking at Kurt. Kurt saw how broken up about this Blaine was and it hurt that it was his fault.

"We'll still be together. I mean I plan on going there eventually but I'm not ready." Kurt told him, being honest no matter how much his heart was screaming for him to just ignore everything else and be with Blaine.

"It's going to be hard." Blaine murmured. "Being away from you." Kurt chose then to walk closer and put his arms around Blaine's neck.

"But we'll be okay. I'll visit you, you'll visit me." Kurt whispered, resting his forehead against Blaine. "It'll be tough but I'll never give up on us. No matter how crazy I get." Kurt said, his soft tone turning teasing towards the end. Blaine laughed at that and pressed a lingering kiss to Kurt's lips.

"I'm going to need to kiss you twice as much as much as usual if I'm going to have to go so long without seeing you." Blaine said with a smirk. Kurt giggles as Blaine pressed another kiss to his lips and then to his cheek and then under his ear.

"B-blaine. Why don't you kiss me twice as much upstairs?" Kurt insisted and Blaine's smile turned almost devilish as he and Kurt raced up the stairs. They ran laughing up to Blaine's room, Blaine jumping on his bed and patting the space next to him, expecting Kurt to lay next to him but instead he sits in Blaine's lap and kisses him fiercely.

"I'm going to miss this so much." Kurt spoke against his lips. Blaine's hands began to wander down to the hem of Kurt's and began to lift it over his head, groaning when he noticed Kurt was wearing an undershirt.

"I'm not going to miss these layers of yours." Blaine growled playfully while taking off Kurt's other shirt. Kurt chuckled and lifted Blaine's shirt over his head.

"Oh yes you will. You love all of my little quirks." Kurt said with a smug look on his face. Blaine rolled them over so he was over Kurt and nipped at his neck.

"You got me there." His hands moved to the waistband of Kurt's pants. They've gotten as far as making out in nothing but their underwear and rutting against each other but nothing more. He looked at Kurt for a sign that it was okay and Kurt nodded.

"Do you want to try something new?" Blaine asked as he removed Kurt's pants. Kurt looked at him curiously but his eyes twinkled with excitement.

"Yes."

* * *

><p>"Aren't you supposed to make sure they aren't doing anything inappropriate up there?" Nick looked a Cooper when after they watch Kurt and Blaine run upstairs to Blaine's room. Cooper looked at Nick like he was crazy.<p>

"Like I would prevent my little brother from getting some." He scoffed. "Nicholas, it's been three years. Three long sexless years for both of them."

"I have to agree with crazy over here. The sexual tension is palpable between those two, it's sickening." Santana said, agreeing with Cooper.

"Ten bucks says they lose their virginity today." Jeff said placing ten dollars on the table.

"Ten says they haven't even seen each other naked yet." David said pulling out two fives.

"Twenty says you're both wrong and they're fooling around." Santana says pulling out a twenty with a smirk.

"Deal." They say simultaneously.

"I don't think they'll appreciate you guys betting on their intimacy." Wes said.

"They're the ones choosing to do it while we're in the house!" Jeff reminded him.

"They probably don't even remember we're here." Nick guessed.

* * *

><p>"Wow." Kurt panted. He looked over at Blaine who was already looking at him.<p>

"Is that a good wow?" Blaine questioned with a teasing smile.

"There's a bad wow?" Kurt asked, raising an eyebrow. Blaine shrugged. "It's a very good wow."

"Good." Blaine said with relief in his voice. "It was a good wow for me too." Kurt leaned over an kissed him softly causing Blaine to smile. "I love you."

"I love _you_. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the New York thing earlier." Kurt murmured. Blaine smiled and kissed him back.

"It's okay baby. That's all water under the bridge now. Let's just be together, enjoy our time together, and not push each other way. Okay?" Blaine mumbled as he rubbed his nose against Kurt's. Kurt nodded and smiled.

"Okay." He whispered.

"We should probably get dressed and go back downstairs." Blaine suggested. Kurt shook his head.

"No. I rather just lay here and be with you. Please." Kurt said quietly. Blaine nodded and pulled his boyfriend close.

"No more secrets?"

"No more secrets."

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you guys liked this chapter! Tell me what you think with a review :D<strong>

**Thanks for reviewing/favoriting/following you guys! It means alot! I've got to get better at responding to your reviews! I will with the next story...which is up! Go check out: Lost Hope!  
><strong>


	28. Helping hand

**A/N: I'm the worst person ever for taking so long I know. I've been super busy and barely had anytime to work on this. But it's a nice lengthy chapter with a nice amount of flashbacks! :) So i hope you don't hate me too much. And i think i said this story would have like 30 chapters but it's turning out to be a bit more than that! :)**

**So i hope you enjoy! There are no warnings for this chapter.**

* * *

><p>Kurt didn't think telling his father that he wasn't going to college in New York was going to be so hard. His friends were telling him otherwise though.<p>

"Your dad is totally going to flip Porcelain. I bet you forty dollars!" Santana said with a smirk. He was hanging out with all his friends the day after everyone found out he was staying in Ohio.

"Where did you even get forty dollars? You said you were broke yesterday when you made me pay for your coffee." Kurt frowned at her.

"Because you and Anderson over there were having fun between the sheets yesterday." She said with a smirk. Kurt's cheeks turned red.

"You bet on that?" He grit through his teeth and she nodded, very proud of herself. "That's the last time I tell you anything." He groaned. She scoffed.

"Oh please. I better be the first to know when you both finally lose your V-card." Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Anyways. I think my dad will be okay with it. He'll understand." Kurt said hoping he was right. He didn't see a reason why his dad would mind.

"Why don't you tell your dad now?" Santana asked with a secretive smirk on her face.

"Tell me what?" Burt asked coming in from the back door. Kurt glared at Santana for a second and she just shrugged. The rest of his friends who were occupied playing a game stopped suddenly and gave Kurt encouraging smiles.

"Dad, can we talk privately for a second?" Kurt asked him. Burt nodded with a curious look on his face.

"Yeah, lets go to the kitchen. I have something I need to tell you too." Burt said ushering Kurt into the next room. Kurt could tell by the way that it got silent in the next room so quickly that they wanted to know how Burt would react to Kurt's news.

Kurt took a look at his dad, who seemed as if he was itching to say something. He was fiddling with his cap which meant he was nervous but his face seem ecstatic and relaxed. Kurt knew then he couldn't drop the 'I'm not going to college' bomb on his dad just yet.

"You wanna go first dad. What I have to say isn't that important." As he said this he heard several groans coming from the living area but ignored them.

"Are you sure?" Burt asked but Kurt could tell he was itching to tell him. Kurt just nodded with a convincing smile on his face. "Okay well Finn is out with Carole right now because we wanted to tell you guys separately to see your reaction. We know you and Finn have been getting along great lately but we just wanted to know if you'd be okay with officially being step-brothers?" Kurt gasped and vaguely heard several gasps from the other room.

"You proposed? When? How? Was it romantic? Oh god, you didn't put the ring in her food right? She could have choked! And I'm pretty sure she wouldn't say yes to you after almost choking to de-" Kurt rambled much to Burt's amusement.

"Kurt!" Burt spoke over Kurt to get his son's attention. Kurt looked at him sheepishly. "She actually proposed. She said she was tired of waiting and didn't care that the man usually proposes. We were just having our date night here last night after you and Santana left and she just went for it. And it took me a while to answer-"

"What?!" Kurt interrupted and Burt gave him a look. "Sorry, continue."

"Because I basically ran to go get the ring I got her and then I proposed to her too and we both said yes." Burt said sounding so happy. They both jumped at the chorus of 'awwww' coming from the living room and laughed.

"Dad- I don't know what to say- I'm so happy for you!" Kurt said giving his dad a hug. Burt held his son tight.

"You know, I never thought I get married again after you were gone. Even when I met Carole. But then you came back and it just seemed like everything just fell into place." Burt told him quietly, voice wavering because of his joyful tears. Kurt held onto his dad a little longer before letting go. "It's kind of sad you're going to be in New York next school year. We won't have much time as I like to spend together as an official family." Burt joked but noticed Kurt's uncomfortable look when he mentioned New York. "Kurt?"

"Dad..I'm not going to New York." Kurt told him nervously. Burt looked at him in shock and Kurt berated himself in his head for taking away his father's smile.

"What are you talking about Kurt?" Kurt didn't like the tone of his father's voice. It reminded him of when his mother was angry and disappointed in him.

"I-I.." He took a deep breath before continuing. "I'm not going to to New York...or to college just yet. I'm not ready. So I'm staying here." He finished saying before looking up at his father. Burt looked like he was conflicted between letting him do what he wanted and yelling at him for not going to college and not going to New York.

"We'll talk about this when your friends aren't being so nosy." Burt said, expression changing into something neutral but Kurt could see some disappointment and fear in his eyes and he wondered why. Kurt nodded and left the kitchen to go back to his friends who acted as if they hadn't heard everything that had just happened.

* * *

><p>Burt had to step out of the house after Kurt admitted what that he wasn't going to New York and college in general. It was all too familiar. He's had this conversation with Elizabeth many times before. He remembered the first time he had that conversation with her.<p>

...

_A days few after Kurt was born.._

"_I can't believe we have a beautiful baby boy." Burt whispered, holding his newly born son in his arms. They had just gotten home after a few days of being in the hospital. _

"_Well we do." Elizabeth said in a tone that Burt couldn't classify as excitement. He knew before she knew she was pregnant she had been thinking of going to a few auditions so someone would recognize her talent, but decided against it because of the baby. Now that Kurt was born she could do what she wants, at least that's what Burt thought she wanted to do._

"_Do you want to hold him?" He asked her. She nodded and took Kurt into her arms. He immediately started crying. She began singing a lullaby softly to him and slowly but surely he'll quieted down. Burt smiled at her softly._

"_One day that voice is going to make you famous." He said with a chuckle. She gave him a look._

"_Well it can't happen now because of the baby." She said in a whispered tone. He frowned._

"_Why not? We can move somewhere where it's easier for you to get discovered, I can take care of Kurt until-"_

"_Burt." She sighed. "Just forget about it for now." _

"_You've always wanted to go to New York."_

"_Drop it Burt. It's just a stupid dream anyway." She said sharply and he sighed. He let it drop but he didn't give up on bringing it up whenever he saw fit._

_..._

Every time he's mentioned helping her out with her dreams to make them a reality, she would shoot down his ideas, claiming that they were stupid, unimportant, or just not going to happen. Looking back he should have just stood his ground instead of letting it go after she said no. He didn't want Kurt to have the same regrets Elizabeth must have had. He didn't want Kurt to regret anything. He knew if Kurt stayed in Lima, he wouldn't get better. He needed to change his stubborn son's mind.

* * *

><p>"It's surprising but Finn's in a similar boat too." Carole said with a sigh after Burt told her about Kurt's decision. It was past midnight and everyone was sleep except for them. They were in their bed talking about their son's futures.<p>

"Why doesn't Finn want to go?" Burt asked her with a frown. He didn't want Finn to give up on himself either. He and Kurt were good kids with a bright future ahead of them. He wouldn't let them give up on it before they even tried to figure out their potential.

"I just think he's afraid." Carole said quietly. "I saw him filling out applications and getting frustrated because he didn't feel like his grades were enough. And there's some football scholarship that he's really stressed about as well." Burt sighed. "Plus I think Rachel is giving some pretty horrible advice to both of our boys."

"Well, if I have anything to do with it. Neither of our boys will be staying in Ohio." Burt said with a huff. Carole smiled at him and rolled her eyes.

"Calm down honey. We'll talk to both of them about it later." She said giving him a kiss on the cheek. "But for now lets talk floral arrangements!" Burt groaned.

"Can we talk about getting some sleep?" Burt pleaded and Carole narrowed her eyes at him.

"Fine, but don't think you're off the hook mister."

* * *

><p>"So what are you going to do if you aren't going to New York...or college at all?" Wes asked Kurt about a few weeks later. They were at Kurt's house hanging out, waiting for the rest of the guys to come over. Kurt had yelled at him a bit for telling Blaine before he even had a chance to, but he also thanked him because he knew he should have told Blaine sooner.<p>

"I don't really know. I think that's the point of me staying—besides just being with my dad. I still have no idea what I'm going to do with my life." Kurt told him truthfully.

"Kurt, half the people who apply for college don't know what they want to do with their lives. And not everyone who does will actually pursue the same dream they think they want, they might find something different. What makes you think that if you stay in Ohio that you'll figure out what you want to do?" Wes questioned him and Kurt narrowed his eyes at him.

"You're trying to talk me out of it aren't you?" Kurt asked his friend who sighed.

"Kurt, if you haven't noticed you're actually getting better. I mean it's little changes but you're showing a lot of progress. But I'm afraid if you stay here you'll just go back to how you were before." Wes' voice got softer as he went on and Kurt had to look away from him because he had a feeling that maybe what he was saying was true. "And that will be letting your mom win. You don't want that."

"Maybe I just want to be with my dad Wes." Kurt grit through his teeth. It was obvious to Wes that Kurt was so deep in denial it would take a while to knock some sense into him.

"Bullshit Kurt. You're scared. You're afraid that you'll do something stupid in New York and lose everything. You're afraid that you wont see your dad anymore, even though you know you're dad would come see you at any time no matter where you are. You're afraid that you won't find your passion. You're afraid that you've already found your passion but that maybe you just aren't good enough to pursue it." Wes listed on and on, not caring that he was calling his friend out so bluntly.

"Well it's easy for you not to be afraid Wes. You get perfect grades, you have a perfect family life, you know exactly what you want to do, you know—"

"There is no such thing as perfect!" Wes shouted at him. "I mean seriously Kurt. I know you've had a really tough time. I know what you went through. It was really terrible. But in no way does that mean I'm perfect." Wes forced himself to stop shouting as to not scare Kurt. "I know I may seem like I have everything all figured out but I'm really just doing what I'm told to do. I don't have a plan for myself Kurt. My life has already been planned out for me." Kurt frowned at him.

"What do you mean?" Kurt asked him. Wes sighed sadly.

"My dad is the one who wants me to go to Harvard. I've been trying to convince myself that this is what I want too. I made you guys think that it was my dream school but it's not. I'm not even sure I want to do law or medicine or anything related to that." Wes admitted to his friend who was gaping at him.

"A-are you serious Wes?" Kurt whispered and his friend nodded.

"My family means well but the pressure to get these amazing grades and be this outstanding leader is really tough. They expect so much of me, and I can't let them down." Wes said quietly. He rarely let himself be this vulnerable in front of anyone. Kurt took his friends hand and held it gently, hoping the gesture was soothing. Wes smiled at him faintly.

"I'm so sorry. I guess I get so caught up in myself sometimes that I forget about others feelings." Kurt said, berating himself internally.

"It's okay. I understand." Wes said giving him a genuine smile.

"Maybe you should apply to other schools too. You know, as a small way to rebel." Kurt suggested. Wes laughed but gave his friend a serious look.

"Okay, on one condition." Wes began. Kurt glared at him.

"Okaaaay." He drawled.

"You need to apply to NYADA, NYU, Parsons, and Tisch just to see if you get in. You don't have to go, but you just have to apply okay." Kurt shot him a confused look.

"What's the point in that?" Kurt asked him.

"Just please, let's do this together? You don't have to tell Blaine or your dad or anyone for that matter." Wes pleaded with him. Kurt sighed but nodded.

"Fine but I'm not changing my mind. I'm still staying here." Wes nodded and smiled to himself. There was no way he was letting Kurt stay in Lima. He remembered how broken Kurt was when they first visited him at Blaine's house when he was first recovering. He never wants to see him like that again.

...

"_A-are we sure this is a good idea?" Nick asked quietly as they walked towards Blaine's house. "I mean he barely spoke to us when he was in the hospital."_

"_Well his jaw was broken..." David brought up. He shivered over the thought of how broken Kurt physically was. It was scary._

"_You know what I mean. He barely acknowledged us." Nick said glaring at David who was too lost in is own thoughts._

"_He's ashamed I think." Wes spoke up. The three boys looked at him with confusion written on their faces._

"_Why would he be ashamed? Maybe he's just scared of us, you know, after what he's been through." Jeff suggested the possibility but Wes only shook his head._

"_I don't think he's afraid of us. I think we're close enough to him that he's okay with trusting us. But I think he's ashamed that it got this far when he really thought he could handle it." Wes told them gently._

_They all remained silent as they walked up to Blaine's doorstep. He didn't know they were coming but they needed to see Kurt, just to see how he was coping and if they could help. Wes knocked on the door three times and they waited until they heard footsteps. The door opened revealing Blaine's father who looked tired and angry. His eyes widened when he saw it was them._

"_Boys what are you doing here?" Simon asked, not letting them in just yet._

"_We wanted to see Kurt, and see if he's doing okay." Nick told him with a hopeful look in his eyes. Simon sighed and looked back in the house before looking back at them._

"_His mother's parents just came over and insisted to talk to him." He said with a dark edge to his words. "They said some...horrible things to him and he isn't reacting well to it." He looked at each one of them. "Are you sure you want to come in?" They all nodded and Simon stepped aside to let them in._

"_Simon who's that?" They heard Blaine's mother ask from the top of the stairs._

"_It's Wes, David, Nick, and Jeff." He yelled up to her. "Can you send Blaine downstairs?"A few minutes later they heard Blaine walking quickly down the stairs. They took a second to look at their friend. His eyes were puffy and red from crying and he looked extremely tired._

"_Why are you guys here?" He asked them._

"_We wanted to see how you and Kurt were doing." Jeff said. Blaine just sighed and led them all up the stairs without a word. Then he stopped just before he let them in the room._

"_He's calmed down a lot since his mother's parents came, but just be careful what you say and ask to touch him if you want to comfort him. Don't do anything stupid okay?" Blaine instructed them and they all nodded before following Blaine inside. They all had gotten used to seeing Kurt bruised and battered but it doesn't make it any easier to see him like that._

_Kurt was sitting up in Blaine's bed staring at nothing. His eyes were red and puffy like Blaine's and he looked more exhausted than anyone. No one said a word for a while._

"_Hi Kurt." Nick was the first to speak up. Kurt jumped and his eyes turned wild. He clenched the bed sheets tightly in one of his hands since one of his arms was broken and looked at each of them frantically. Blaine immediately went to him to calm him down._

"_Kurt, baby it's okay. They just want to see how you're doing. Is it okay if they stay for a while?" Blaine said looking at Kurt and taking his right hand gently. Kurt looked at Blaine and his scared expression melted away. Kurt slowly nodded and looked back at the boys._

"_How's your jaw feeling Kurt? Can he talk now?" David asked with a soft voice. _

"_He can but it still hurts a bit." Blaine answered for Kurt. Kurt was looking at them each calculatingly as if he was trying to decide something._

"_Can I give you a hug Kurt?" Jeff asked, pouting a bit. _

"_Jeff sweetie I don't think that's a good idea." Nick said pulling his boyfriend towards him. But they were all surprised when Kurt let go of Blaine's hand and held his arm up towards Jeff. Blaine slid off the bed so Jeff could get on and hug Kurt. Jeff slowly went to the bed and enveloped Kurt in a hug, careful not to hug him too tight and hurt his healing ribs. The boys swore Jeff almost burst into tears when Kurt wrapped his good arm around him to give him a one-armed hug. _

"_I'm glad you're alive Kurt." He said quietly but everyone in the room heard it._

"_I think I am too." Kurt whispered back and if everyone in the room wasn't crying before, they were at that moment._

"_Can we get hugs too?" David squeaked out sheepishly, not even trying to hide his tears anymore. They were all relieved to see Kurt's lips attempted to quirk up. Jeff let go of Kurt and Kurt gestured for Blaine to help him out of bed._

"_You're supposed to stay off you're ankle you know." Blaine told him with a raised eyebrow and went over to help him. He helped him move to the edge of the bed but didn't let him stand. "They can hug you from here." Blaine told him sternly but with a sweet smile because he was glad that Kurt wasn't shutting their friends out. He hugged all of them for a bit. Wes held on a second longer just so glad that Kurt was alive and recovering._

"_I'm sorry you guys..." Kurt whispered after he hugged Wes. "I should have never asked you guys to keep my secret. I-I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I thought I could handle it but i-" He stopped when the pain in his jaw got too much. They were glad to hear him talk to much because the doctors were afraid that so many blows to his head could have given him severe brain damage but it only turned out to be a serious concussion._

"_It's okay Kurt. We know you thought you could handle it." Nick assured him._

"_The only thing that matters to us now is that you're alive." Wes told him truthfully. Kurt looked at him with tears in his eyes._

"_And we want to help you get better okay? We've been here for you since Blaine dragged you into Dalton, that's not going to ever change." Jeff said with a tiny smile. Kurt laughed but grimaced when it hurt his jaw._

"_I love you guys." He whispered to them and they all smiled._

* * *

><p>Later that night, Kurt was reluctantly filling out applications. He knew some of them required auditions and portfolios but he would just have to do them in secret.<p>

"Dude what are you doing?" Kurt jumped at the sound of Finn's voice.

"Nothing, go to bed Finn." Kurt said, too tired to care about Finn knowing what he was doing.

"You changed your mind again? But mom said you weren't going to New York." Finn said looking confused. Kurt sighed.

"I'm doing it for a friend okay. I'm not really going to go to New York." Kurt explained even though Finn didn't seem to understand.

"That makes no sense." Finn told him and Kurt just nodded. "So..what do you think about us being step-brothers soon?" Finn asked him, sounding nervous.

"Well, a few months ago I probably would have had a panic attack or fainted—"

"Oh god no. I can't take you fainting again. Twice was more than enough." Finn shivered and Kurt chuckled.

"The second time wasn't you're fault Finn." He reminded him. "But anyways...I think we've been brother's for a while..unofficially of course. Them getting married is only going to make it official." Finn smiled at that. He and Kurt both came a long way from not getting along at all to becoming really close.

"Good. I think of you as my brother too." Finn said with a goofy grin that made Kurt laugh and roll his eyes. "But I have another question."

"Which is?"

"How do you feel about my mom being your mom." Finn asked softly. Kurt tensed for a moment. He never really did think about that. Carole would be his step-mother. Carole who was sweet and kind to him since the beginning. Carole who made his father happy and gave amazing advice, was going to be his mother. Why was he so afraid of that?

"Kurt? Dude, are you okay?" Finn asked Kurt when he didn't respond. Kurt snapped out of his reverie.

"Y-yeah I'm fine...I'm just tired." Kurt faked a yawn so Finn would take a hint and leave him alone to his thoughts.

"Oh okay, we'll talk tomorrow?"

"Yeah tomorrow."

* * *

><p>"Blaine? Can I ask you a really blunt question?" Kurt asked his boyfriend before Warbler's practice the next day. They were getting ready for sectionals, which would be the first time Kurt ever performed on a stage. He was nervous about it but more excited than anything.<p>

"You can ask me anything baby." Blaine said with a warm smile. They had 30 minutes to kill before anyone interrupted them.

"What is it like to have a mother who loves you?" Kurt asks in a small voice and Blaine's eyes widen at the question because it's really unexpected. Blaine doesn't know how to answer at first, so Kurt continues talking. "I think my mother loved me for a while. I like to think that maybe just for a while she really did love me."

"Kurt-"

"And then she just stopped..and I didn't stop loving her until there was nothing left to love and I understood that it wasn't my fault she hated me." Kurt continued rambling and Blaine stopped himself from interrupting just yet. "And your mother always told me she cared for me and loved me like a son and that always made me feel good inside but she's not my mother and I just don't remember how it feels to have a mother love me. But now my dad and Carole are getting married and she's going to my step-mother and I know Carole loves me, I love her too she's amazing. She's perfect for my father and we'll finally be a whole family...but..I-I-" Kurt groans in frustration when he can't find the words he's looking for.

"Kurt?" Blaine says his name softly and wait until he looks up at him to speak again. "Are you afraid to have a mother? Is this what this is about?"

"I-" Kurt takes a breath before continuing. "Don't judge me for what I'm about to say please." Kurt rushed out with his eyes squeezed tightly shut. Blaine takes his boyfriend in his arms at this point and gives him a soft kiss on his forehead.

"I'd never judge you." He whispers to him.

"I've been told multiple times that no one loved me." Kurt begins and Blaine holds him tightly against his chest. They are sitting on a couch and Blaine is now in a laying position with Kurt on top of him, head resting on his chest at the moment. Kurt's two or three inches taller than him but this was one of their favorite ways to cuddle.

"I've been told that it'd be a miracle if someone did love me. And if that ever did happen, it wouldn't last because no one could love a disgusting, disappointing, weak fag like me." Kurt mutters bitterly. "And I know it's stupid to believe because I know you love me, and Dad loves me, and so many people love me. And it's just so weird being close to women. I mean _gosh_ Santana is like the first girl friend I've had in years. And sometimes it's hard being around her because I'm scared that there's something I'll do that will make her not want to be my friend anymore...and I just-" Kurt groans. "And Carole. What if she-..what if I.."

"You're afraid that Carole won't love you? Kurt that's crazy!" Blaine exclaims but Kurt gives him an unsure look.

"Maybe I'm undesirable to women." Kurt says very seriously and Blaine flat out laughs. Kurt sighs and hides his face in Blaine's chest and whines. "Blaaaaiiine. Take me seriously."

"Santana has mentioned on many occasions that if you both weren't gay she'd, and I quote, tap that ass any chance she could." Kurt's cheeks go red and he hides his face again and grumbles something Blaine can't make out. "You're going to have to lift your head sweetheart, I can't understand what you're saying."

"I said, I meant that maybe I'm not meant to have any form of mother." Kurt says, lifting his face to look at Blaine.

"You know for someone so ridiculously smart, you're such an idiot sometimes." Blaine says with a long sigh. Kurt glares at him but Blaine just rolls his eyes at him. "Kurt you can't seriously believe that."

"What if Carole starts to hate me, then leaves my father? My dad would hate me and I would hate myself-" Blaine puts his hand over his boyfriend's mouth.

"Remember that first time I met your mom?" Kurt nods slowly. "My mom and dad invited her over for dinner even though you claimed she wouldn't want to come."

...

"_Blaine, what time are Kurt and his mother coming?" His dad asked from where he was at the table, reading a book._

"_Around 6." Blaine answered distractedly from the other side of the table where he was trying to do his homework but his mind was on something else. Kurt didn't seem very excited for dinner at all. All week he claimed that his mother wouldn't want to come anyways and then his parents called his house and she said that she would be delighted to meet them all. Something was wrong with that._

"_Have you ever met Kurt's mother?" His mother asked, coming into the room._

"_No, Kurt doesn't even talk about her much." Blaine tells his mom who only frowns._

"_Do you think maybe she's not accepting of him?" His dad wonders aloud and Blaine pauses because he never thought of that._

"_Oh." He said simply. "But she seemed excited to come."_

"_How about we just see how this whole thing goes okay?" His mother suggested and they nodded. _

_A couple of hours later their doorbell was ringing and Blaine hurried to the door and opened it revealing a nervous looking Kurt and his smiling mother._

"_Hey Kurt. Ms. Hummel nice to meet you." Blaine said with a charming smile. He shook hands with Kurt's mother and let them inside._

"_It's so nice to meet you. I'm Simon, Blaine's father and this is my wife Andrea." Simon said warmly shaking hands with Kurt's mom._

"_Elizabeth." She said with a sweet smile before also shaking hands with Andrea._

"_Well dinner is ready so why don't we all head to the kitchen." Blaine's mother suggested and the adults went to the kitchen while Blaine held Kurt back._

"_What are you doing?" Kurt whisper shouted. Blaine just smiled, cupped the back of his neck and kissed him softly, chuckling at the surprised noise Kurt made, before pulling away._

"_I just wanted to kiss you." Blaine said with a shrug and Kurt smiled and looked around before pecking him on the cheek quickly._

"_Let's get this dinner over with." Kurt said taking Blaine's hand and walking into the kitchen._

_Dinner was okay. Everyone seemed to get along just fine. The only one's who didn't seem fine was Kurt who was oddly silent unless someone directly asked him a question and Blaine's mother who kept shooting Elizabeth weird glances. _

"_So boys have you been practicing for your duet for the competition coming up." Simon brought up at some point and Kurt turned really pale._

"_Dad, I told you that Kurt decided not to sing anymore." Blaine grit through his teeth._

"_What? Why is that? You have a beautiful voice Kurt!" Andrea told him and Kurt tried to smile at her but it fell short._

"_I ju-" Kurt was interrupted by his mother. _

"_His vocal chords are inflamed." She said brightly, too brightly. "So my little singer has to rest his voice until the doctor says it's fine." _

"_Oh, why didn't you just say that Kurt?" Blaine asked surprised. Kurt gave him a sheepish smile and shrugged._

"_He's a very private person. His father was the exact same way." She said and Kurt could feel the bile trying to force it's way out his throat at the sound of his mother's mock sadness that the Anderson's all seem to have bought._

"_We're so sorry for your loss. It must be hard raising a child by yourself." Simon said sympathetically. She nodded and wiped her fake tears away from the corner of her eyes. Andrea had to stop herself from rolling her eyes because there was something about this woman that made her uncomfortable. She cast at glance at the usually talkative Kurt who was basically playing with the scraps of food left on his plate and wondered what was going on._

_Soon enough Kurt and his mother headed home. Kurt hugging each one of them quickly before leaving the house with his mother._

"_I don't like her." Andrea said once they were gone._

"_What? She seemed really nice." Simon said in surprise. He thought dinner had gone well. She just shook her head._

"_There is something wrong with that lady. Did you see how quiet Kurt was today?" Andrea asked, not knowing Blaine was around to hear their entire conversation._

"_I think you're looking too into this. Kurt was just nervous." Simon waved off. Andrea just sighed and let it go._

_..._

"When you were in the hospital my mom went crazy." Blaine explained to his boyfriend who was looking at him with disbelief. "She was yelling and crying saying that she knew something was wrong with your mom. She knew that she was just acting like she was a good mother. And that you deserve someone who will love you unconditionally." Kurt could barely believe what he was hearing. It made his heart soar that other people loved him so much.

"So, I'm just being paranoid?" Kurt said with a small laugh and Blaine smiles at him.

"Carole loves you. She's going to love you more and more each day just like everyone close to you does. You don't have to call her mom or see her that way. Just see her as a person who loves you." Blaine tells him. "And you never know. Maybe one day, you might just wake up and see her as your mom, because no matter what she'll see you as her son. You deserve to have a mother love you that way Kurt, and now you're getting your chance." Kurt's crying by now and he wants to slap Blaine because of how good he is at making him feel better with his words.

"You and your stupid beautiful mouth." He whines. "Why are you so good with words?" Blaine beams at him and kisses him softly.

"Well I haven't really been, until I met you."

* * *

><p><strong>A lot happened in this chapter! What do you think of Burt's going to do to ensure Kurt goes away to college? What do you think of Wes making Kurt apply to college? Burt and Carole getting married? Kurt being afraid to have another mom? Let me know all your thoughts with a review! :)<strong>

**And just two reviews that i want to answer here..**

**Sofia Michelle: ... How many times have they promised "no more secrets"?**

**-I'm glad you noticed this! Technically only once with these words but several times and this will be addressed very soon ;)**

**Guest: Please tell me this won't turn into another long distance fic pls? Or something horrible like Kurt "setting Blaine free". Pls don't break them up or force them apart, at this point in your story it's really not realistic seeing how dependent they are.**

**-You'll just have to keep reading to figure out what i have planned for our boys. ;) I'll just say don't worry, the boys are stronger than ever right now.**

**P.S. I met two of my readers at Chris Colfer's book signing. Shout out to the-power-of-love who i met very briefly but she is wonderful and funny :) And also LvSammy who didn't know it was me but she was extremely sweet and awesome!**

**Hint for next chapter: Burt and Kurt talk about Kurt's decision. Kurt and Carole moment(s). And i think maybe someone might be getting ready for their first performance...**


	29. Realizations

**A/N: Hey guys! I apologize for such a long wait. I've barely had anytime to write anything because I've been focusing on getting ready for college, which i'll be moving to in a couple of weeks. But anyways, i hope you guys forgive me :) **

**Here's the next chapter! I hope you like it.**

**Warning(s): Mentions of past violence**

* * *

><p>Kurt thought of what Blaine had told him. But he couldn't help but think of the possibility that things will turn out bad with Carole as they did with his real mom, even if it was just a slight possibility.<p>

He thought of that day he and his mom had dinner with Blaine's family. Then he thought of when they went home that same day.

...

_It was quiet in the car on their way home. Too quiet. He didn't know why his mother chose to go to dinner with Blaine's family. It was terrifying how good she was at acting like a normal mother, even though he could see right through her._

_He didn't know why he expected her to act differently. She obviously was smart enough to treat him like an actual human being. That doesn't mean it didn't confuse him. He jumped a little in his seat when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out and saw it was a message from Blaine._

_**Home yet? -Blaine**_

_**No. Still in the car. -Kurt**_

_**Are you okay? My mom was worried, you seemed quiet today. -Blaine.**_

_Kurt bit his lip. He didn't like lying to Blaine but he felt like he had no choice but to lie. He couldn't tell him the truth._

_**I'm fine. I was just nervous. :) -Kurt**_

_Kurt looked up sharply when the car stopped. They were finally home. They both got out of the car silently. He followed slowly behind his mother, not knowing what was going to happen when they got inside. He felt his phone vibrate in his hand but made no move to check it._

_By the time they were in the house, Kurt was shaking. He hated not knowing whether or not she would hurt him. _

"_Your father would have loved him." Kurt looks at her with wide eyes when she says this. She's smirking, and Kurt immediately feels uneasy. He doesn't respond to her. He doesn't even move. One false move or one wrong response, could add another bruise to the unwanted collection on his body._

"_He was always one to encourage things that shouldn't be encouraged." She said almost softly. "You. My impossible dream. You should be glad I saved you from such a bad influence." She looks him over with a disgusted look. "Even though I was too late to fix you it seems."_

"_I don't need fixing." He whispered, immediately regretting it because nothing good ever comes from talking back to his mother. She laughs._

"_Your boyfriend tell you that?" She asked. Kurt squeezes his eyes shut. Memories of Blaine telling him that he's wonderful and amazing the way he was flashing in front of him. "You must be one hell of a liar to convince him that you're anything but a disappointment." He forces himself not to cry. He feels his phone vibrate again in his hand and ignores it._

"_H-he cares about me." He mumbles to her, opening his eyes to see her closer than she was before._

"_No one cares about you." She says sharply and it hurts him more than when she punched him in his stomach that morning just because she felt like it. "You're precious boyfriend doesn't know you. He doesn't see how fucking weak you are." She shoves him into a wall. "He doesn't know about these huh?" She demands, lifting up his shirt, exposing his ruined porcelain skin. He shakes his head, closes his eyes again, and hates him self when he feels a tear slip down his cheek._

"_He wo-wouldn't c-care about them." He whispered. She shoves him harder into the wall. His back aches now. _

"_Keep telling yourself that sweetheart." She scoffs. "Let me know when you start to believe it. I'll be glad to knock so sense into you." He expects to be punched or kicked or slapped instead she lets him go and walks away. He lets out a breath of relief. His phone vibrates again, he chances a glance at it. 3 messages from Blaine._

_**Oh Kurt, there was no reason to be nervous. -Blaine**_

_**You home yet? -Blaine**_

_**Call me when you get home baby -Blaine**_

_He forced himself to walk to his room, still looking around as if his mother would change her mind about letting him off unharmed. He closed his door, crawled into bed and called Blaine._

_..._

Kurt knew for a fact that Carole would never hurt him purposefully. But his head liked to tell him otherwise. He hated that he couldn't feel safe even though he knew he was. He expressed this to Julia at one of his psychotherapy sessions.

"I think maybe it's time to go over the attack in full. I think if we go over that, we'll learn the source of why you're so afraid to have a mother figure." Julia said.

"I already know the source. I got the shit beat out of me. There's no hidden meaning or something." Kurt snapped at her. She didn't falter.

"If it was as simple as that, do you think you would still have nightmares about it? Still have panic attacks when you're reminded of it? Shut people out when you don't want to talk about it? Have a problem with having a mother?" She threw questions left and right at him.

"I've told you almost everything-"

"You just said almost Kurt." She said with a raised eyebrow. Kurt snapped his mouth shut and his face flushed. Julia looked at him and sighed. "You've come a long way Kurt. But don't expect to feel better or safe until you're actually ready to look back at what happened in full. You can't pretend it didn't happen and you can't bottle it up. If you're going to move on you're going to have to do it sooner or later."

"Do I have to talk about it now?" Kurt asked in a small voice. Julia shook her head.

"No. Not this session but soon. I'm not going to force it out of you Kurt. That will only make matters worse." She told him and he sighed in relief. "Now anything else you need to talk about?"

"College." He said biting his lip. She was silent as she waited for him to elaborate. "Originally I was so sure I wanted to go to New York. I felt confident about it. I was ready to just get away from here, be with Blaine and make new friends." As he spoke she noticed how happy he sounded when he talked about going away and scribbled a note in her notebook. "But I decided that I wasn't ready to go just yet." He finished off sadly.

"When did you decided this?" She asked.

"Well I've had doubts for a while. About leaving my dad. Especially after his heart attack. I missed so much time with him, and I don't think I'm ready to leave him again." He explained to her.

"What about Blaine and your friends?" Her tone was neutral, as it always was when she asked him questions.

"I'm going to miss them but they understand." He answered, feeling his insides twist painfully at the thought of being without his friends. "Whatever I choose will hurt either way."

"Didn't you say you've already chosen?" She countered. He sighed.

"Wes made a deal with me and now I have to apply to some schools in New York. He said I don't have to go to any of them but.." He cut off looking for the proper words. "They are all so _amazing_! And I hate that I could picture myself there, I just want to spend more time with my dad. I can't just leave." He said in a sad voice.

"Why can't you?" She asked.

"Because it'll be like losing him all over again." He admitted and it hurt more to actually say it out loud.

"But this time he'll actually know where you are and be able to visit you." She added, not sounding like she was for or against his decision. Kurt nodded. "Have you talked to your father about this?" She asked him.

"Briefly." Kurt said.

"Talk to him about this. Talk to your friends. Talk to Blaine. Then go about making your decision. It's not good to make a decision just because it's the safest. It's better to make a decision because it's the one you feel is right." She informed him wisely. He was silent but nodded in agreement. "Now how are you doing with the Zoloft?"

"I wasn't handling it well at first." He told her sheepishly. "I was..extremely irritable and I got a lot of headaches." She hummed and wrote something down.

"Suicidal thoughts?" She asked seriously.

"No." He responded truthfully. Then looked at the clock. Their time was up for the day.

"Good. Have you missed a day?" She continued on.

"No. I've been taking them everyday." He said proudly. She smiled at him.

"That's great Kurt. Keep it up." She praised him. "Now before our next session I want you to talk to your father and your friends about how you're feeling regarding this whole college thing. And maybe even the mother thing too. If you think you're ready for that." She said with an encouraging smile.

"Okay, I'll try to talk to them." He promised.

* * *

><p>"So..." Burt started awkwardly. Kurt had gotten home and neither Finn nor Carole were anywhere to be seen. He guessed that it would be easier to talk about everything with people lingering around. "Why did you decide not to go to New York?"<p>

"I..um.." Kurt shifted in his seat, not meeting his dad's eyes. "I don't think I'm ready to leave you just yet." Burt felt his heart swell with love. He knew that he'd have trouble letting Kurt go once again but this was different and he couldn't hold him back.

"And you're ready to leave Blaine?" Burt asked his son bluntly. Kurt looked at his father sharply. He hadn't been expecting this question.

"I...no I don't think so. But aren't parents supposed to stop young couples from being so dependent on each other." Kurt questioned curiously.

"Are you having doubts about your relationship?" Burt asked him. Kurt immediately shook his head.

"Not at all. I love Blaine more than anything." Kurt said passionately and Burt had to suppress a smirk.

"Listen son. Some teenagers latch on to each other too fast and for the wrong reasons. But that's not you and Blaine. It's been..what three years?" Kurt nodded with a smile on his face. "I've seen the way you look at each other Kurt. People have to wait so much longer to find a love like you two have. You both have been through so much and stuck together. Nothing is wrong with being dependent but you have to focus on yourself too. Which you both have been, and I'm proud of you both for that." Burt told his son. "But that's beside the fact now. Kurt, your friends have been your support system for so long. Without them you would have never been as comfortable around people as you are now. And I know that's scary, you all might be going to different places. But I don't want you to stay here because it's safe-"

"That's not why I'm staying dad." Kurt cut him off. "I'm staying because I don't want to lose you."

"Kurt all I have to do is catch a plane to get to you. I'm not going anywhere." Burt said with a frown.

"It wont be the same. Maybe I'll be ready the next year or the year after." Kurt said, suddenly interested by the threads coming out of the sweater he was wearing.

"I'm not letting you put off your future because of me Kurt. You don't even like Ohio. You've never liked it." Burt said sternly.

"But you're here." Kurt cried, looking up at him. "Do you not want me here?" He asked sounding hurt.

"Of course I do bud." Burt backtracked. "But I also want what's best for you. What kind of life could you have here?"

"I have a life here now. And I could work with you. It doesn't matter." Kurt said as if it was as simple as that.

"Kurt, I would love for you to be able to be here with me all the time but I don't want you to have any regrets." Burt started of gently. "Your mother used to say the same thing. That she would stay here. That her future didn't matter. She just gave up. You both had similar dreams and you've already given up on it."

"So.." Kurt's voice cracked and Burt's eyes widened when he saw he was crying. "You're comparing her to me? Even though you said I could never be like her."

"Kurt you're not your mother, I was just saying-" Burt tried reasoning with him but Kurt wasn't hearing it.

"Maybe I should be locked away now. So I won't hurt anybody." Kurt said standing up.

"Kurt, listen to me." Burt pleaded, getting up as well. "I'm just trying to make sure you don't make the same mistakes she did."

"I'm not like her. I'm not." Kurt was lost in his head. He was rushing to grab his phone, his keys, and his wallet. "I can't be like her."

"Kurt!" Burt yelled trying to get Kurt to listen but Kurt was already heading to outside and to his car. Burt sighed and knew it was no use trying to run after Kurt. He felt better in an hour when he got a call from Blaine saying that Kurt was over at his house.

* * *

><p>"You don't think I'm making the wrong decision right?" Kurt asked Blaine with watery eyes. They were in Blaine's bedroom, laying down together. Blaine had his arms around Kurt's waist and his chin hooked on his shoulder.<p>

"I don't think I'm the right person to answer that baby." Blaine answered carefully after a beat. Kurt shifted so he was facing Blaine.

"Why not?" Kurt questioned. Blaine pulled him a bit closer.

"Kurt what are you going to do in Ohio?" Blaine asked seriously. "I would never stop you from doing what you want, but I don't want you to regret anything you do." Kurt frowned at him.

"You're sounding just like my dad right now. Why does this have to be something I regret? How do you know this isn't the right thing to do?" Kurt spat out the question.

"Kurt you're twisting my words." Blaine said softly and calmly, trying to get his boyfriends to let go of his anger. "I'm just asking you if you have a plan?"

"I..." Kurt hesitated and looked at Blaine with wide scared eyes. "I don't know what to do. I want to be with my dad, but he obviously doesn't want me to be with him anymore. And I want to be with you but I...I feel like no matter what I do it's going to be hard for me to get use to." Kurt admitted.

"Okay first of all, of course your dad wants you here." Blaine began. "But he also wants what's best for you."

"And it sounds like you agree with him." Kurt added on quietly. Blaine sighed.

"I just think you're afraid to start moving on." Blaine explained. Kurt frowned at him.

"I get that you want me in New York with you Blaine-"

"This is about more than our relationship Kurt." Blaine cut him off. Kurt looked at him in surprise. "This is about you. You figuring out what you want to do and not being afraid to do it. Do you really think you're going to find that here?"

"I'm not my mother Blaine. Just because I don't know what I want doesn't mean I'm crazy." Kurt snapped at him, immediately pulling away from Blaine and sitting up on the bed with his back turned.

"I never said that Kurt. You're avoiding the question baby." Blaine said moving to sit up as well.

"Well I'm tired of being asked questions like that." Kurt huffs throwing his hands up and mistakenly hitting Blaine in the face. Blaine winced at the hit and looked up to see Kurt's horrified face.

"Kurt." He said slowly. "It was a mistake, you didn't mean to hit me." He reached out for Kurt but he scrambled out of the way.

"I hit you." Kurt whispered sounding terrified. _"Oh my god." _

"Kurt, it was a mistake. You weren't even looking in my direction." Blaine tried to calm him but Kurt seemed too afraid of himself to believe Blaine. Blaine slowly walked towards Kurt.

"D-don't come near me!" Kurt yelled backing away. "I'm a monster." Blaine felt his heart break at Kurt's words.

"Baby, it was an accident. I know you'd never hurt me on purpose." Blaine said calmly. Kurt was still backing away from him. "Kurt, please come here baby." Kurt shook his head almost hysterically.

"N-no! I'm just going to hurt you." He cried before turning and leaving the room.

"Shit." Blaine swore before running to grab his sweater and sneakers. He ran downstairs and out the door. He looked around and saw that Kurt's car was still outside of his house. He plopped down on the stairs of his house trying to think of where else Kurt would run to on foot.

* * *

><p>Kurt didn't know why he was here. He never thought he would come back to this house. It was boarded up and deserted but he still found his way inside.<p>

His old house looked so different. It was a mess from everything that happened. He had to shield his eyes when he walked through the living room. He was in no way ready to see how that looked. He walked to his old room. Everything was how he remembered leaving it. It was mostly empty.

He walked down the hall to his mother's room and hesitated before walking inside. It was a mess as well. The mirror that was above her dresser was broken. So was the window. Clothes and other various items were strewn about. There were bottles of beer scattered on the floor. It was terrifying.

He took a deep breath before forcing himself further in the room. He didn't know what he was looking for but he felt drawn to her dresser. He sniffed the air unconsciously and shivered when he realized it still smelled of her perfume. He opened the top drawer of the dresser and moved stuff around. There was a picture of her, himself, and his dad in there. He pushed it aside, not wanting to see the family that they once were. He frowned when he saw a black notebook in the dresser. He took it out and observed it. He looked around as if he was afraid someone would catch him before opening it to the first page. His eyes widened as he read.

_**Dear Journal,**_

_**Today I did something I never thought I'd do. I mean I've had several dreams about it, but I always made sure not to.**_

_**I don't think I really meant to hit Kurt. I mean at the time I thought he deserved it. He was being an ungrateful little brat as always. Usually I would just yell at him. Then Burt would yell at me for yelling at him. I can only imagine what he'd do if he knew I hit Kurt.**_

_**The weird thing is that it felt really good. To see the tears in his eyes. To see how pitiful he looked afterward. I should feel bad about it but I don't.**_

_**Maybe it's because he's such a disappointment of a son. He was the one who prevented me from living out my hopes and dreams. So maybe this is just payback. **_

_**But I shouldn't be thinking like this. I shouldn't want to beat the shit out of my own son. I just want him to suffer a bit for what he did to me. Forcing me to stay in this town. Making Burt think I need to talk to a shrink because of how much I yelled at Kurt. Everything was all his fault.**_

_**There's nothing wrong with getting well deserved revenge right?**_

Kurt was holding in sobs by the time he finished reading the first entry. He flipped all the way to the last page and forced himself to keep it together while he read the last entry.

_**Dear Journal,**_

_**I got fired. Again. I don't think I can live this way anymore. **_

_**I almost killed Kurt. He's still breathing...He might wake up soon.**_

_**He doesn't understand why I have to do this to both of us. He doesn't understand I'm doing him a favor by doing this. He'll never achieve his silly dreams. He's been punished so much his entire life, it's time for him to be relieved of it.**_

_**The people at my job thought I was crazy. Everyone always thinks I'm crazy. I'm not. I AM NOT!**_

The entry was unfinished. There was also blood stains on the page. Kurt wondered if it was his. He's aware he's shaking but can't make himself calm down. He knows he should stop reading but he can't now.

_**Dear Journal,**_

_**So I was right about Kurt being a disgusting faggot. Gosh why did I have to get him as a son. Can anything in my life go right?**_

_**I would have beat him but the kids at his school already did the job for me. Serves him right for spreading his...sickness around.**_

He slams the book closed not thinking he could read anymore. He didn't want to turn out like her. He couldn't turn out like her. He refused to be like her. He jumped when he feels his phone rumble in his pocket. He pulls it out and winces when he see's Blaine's picture. He reluctantly answers the phone.

"I'm so sorry Blaine." He blurts out as soon as he picked up.

"You didn't do anything wrong baby." Blaine murmurs. "Can you please tell me where you are. You've been gone for a while and I've been worried sick."

"Blaine I hit you." Kurt whimpered.

"Baby it was a mistake. You're not a violent person. I know you would never hurt me Kurt." Blaine desperately tries to assure Kurt.

"Can you come get me please?" Kurt breathes, finally giving in. He's still afraid he'll hurt Blaine but he can't be in this house anymore.

"Where are you baby?" Kurt hears Blaine shuffling around through the phone.

"At the old house." He tells him quietly. There's a beat of silence.

"I-I'll be there in fifteen minutes okay? Don't move." Blaine replied.

"Okay." They said quick goodbyes before hanging up. Kurt hugged his knees to his chest and put his head down as he waited for Blaine to come get him.

"Kurt? Baby where are you?" Blaine yells when he gets in the house. He doesn't feel comfortable at all in this house. It brings back old feelings that he definitely didn't want to relive. The last time he was here, Kurt was in a pool of his own blood, not responding to any of his desperate pleads for him to wake up.

...

"_Kurt! Baby please wake up. I need you to wake up!" He cried. He was searching for a pulse but was probably shaking to much to even do it right._

"_Oh my god!" He heard his mother shout. He didn't turn to look at her._

"_Where's the ambulance and the police?" Cooper yelled at someone._

"_We called, they said they'll be here as soon as possible." Nick replied shakily._

"_He could die!" Wes hissed. Blaine's head snapped back to where they were._

"_He's not going to die. He's going to make it." His voice trembled as he spoke. They all just look at him sadly until they heard sirens coming from outside. His dad and Cooper ran to get them to hurry up. The moments before the paramedics took Kurt away from him were a blur. _

"_Kid you need to let go so we can help your friend." One of them said. He nodded and hesitantly let Kurt go. They lifted him onto a gurney and started attaching him to stuff while simultaneously rolling him outside. He was vaguely aware of them doing the same to Kurt's mother._

"_Is he okay? Is he alive?" He followed them, asking questions that they ignored._

"_We need to hurry or we'll lose him." Was mumbled to another paramedic and Blaine felt his heart skip a beat._

"_No! He can't die." Blaine rushed forward trying to get to Kurt as he was put inside the ambulance. Cooper held him back. "Let me go! I need to make sure he's okay!" He sobbed._

"_We'll follow them okay Blaine. Just calm down." Cooper said soothingly but Blaine can tell by the way his voice was wavering that he was close to breaking down too._

Blaine shook his head and tried to get his mind off the memory. He walked through the house trying to figure out where Kurt would be. He opened one door to find what must have been Kurt's old room. He has dropped Kurt at home on many occasions but never was inside to know where everything was. He walked further down the hallway.

"Kurt? Where are you?" He called out again.

"In here." He heard Kurt answer from the room right ahead of him. He hurried over to the room and sighed in relief when he saw Kurt sitting on the floor, safe and sound.

"Oh thank god." He rushed out, basically hurling himself at Kurt. "You need to stop going places without telling anyone where you are Kurt." He scolded him, holding him tight and subtly looking him over to make sure he's physically okay.

"I'm sorry." Kurt whispered. "I was just scared of myself."

"_Kurt._" Blaine spoke softly. "It was an accident. And it barely hurt at all. It wont even leave a mark. I'm fine and we're okay. You need to trust yourself more Kurt." He felt Kurt nod and take a deep breath before something was pushed into his hands.

"I found this a little while ago." Kurt shudders as he speaks. Blaine looks at it before looking back at Kurt. He opens the book to the first page and starts reading. Kurt watches as Blaine's expression changes from confused to angry. He doesn't speak he just looks up at Kurt with sad watery eyes.

"Read the last page." He tells him and Blaine does before closing the book and holding Kurt even closer to him. They are both trembling and crying by now.

"I don't think I'll ever get over what happened." Kurt admits quietly. Blaine's arms tighten around him.

"Me either." Blaine agrees, voice hoarse and sad.

"But one thing is for sure." Kurt added on with quiet determination in his tone. "I'm nothing like her."

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! What do you think is going to happen next? Please tell me what you thought of this chapter with a review! :D<strong>

**I know i promised Kurt and Carole moments but they'll be in the next chapter for sure!**

**P.S. To anyone reading my other story Lost Hope and waiting for an update, i promise to have it up by either the end of today or tomorrow!**


	30. Change is happening

**A/N: Hey guys! Here's the new chapter! I tried not to keep you waiting too long this time. Enjoy!**

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><p>They plan to show Burt the journal the next day. They tell him Kurt's going to stay over at Blaine's for the rest of the day. Burt thinks it's because Kurt's still mad at him but in actuality Kurt and Blaine just want to hold each other, unable to get the words from the journal out of their heads.<p>

"Do you think she was mentally insane?" Kurt whispered at one point. Blaine was rubbing his back in gentle soothing motions.

"It would make sense." Blaine murmured. "You did nothing wrong and she blamed you before you were even born."

"I can't believe I was freaking out about Carole treating me like that." Kurt berated himself. "She would never do anything like that to me. I should know that."

"Can you really blame yourself for thinking like that?" Blaine asked and Kurt looked up at him curiously. "You've been going through this for a long time. Of course it's going to be hard for you just to welcome someone into your life with open arms and not feel weary."

"I just wish I didn't have to be so cautious all the time." Kurt muttered sadly, scooting down a bit so he could rest his head on Blaine's chest.

"You were cautious of me for a while. And look where that got us." Blaine said and Kurt could hear the smile in his voice.

"You were so weird and smiley all the time. And so positive and jumpy. You were a little too good to be true." Kurt admitted.

"You had a panic attack when I asked you to be my boyfriend." Blaine reminded him.

"I wasn't expecting it!" Kurt defended himself before looking up at Blaine with a smile. "But I guess you can say you took my breath away."

...

"_Come with us." Jeff urged him. Kurt raised an eyebrow at him. He looked at all his friends around him giving him creepy smiles._

"_What's going on?" Kurt asked them, not going to follow him. He's known these guys for a few months and he feels like maybe he shouldn't trust them as much as he does._

"_Just follow us for a minute will you?" David smiled a little too brightly. Kurt frowns and looks to Wes who's looking at him with a small encouraging smile._

"_Trust us." Wes said and Kurt's frown deepened but he followed them. They led him to where they held Warblers Practice and then gestured for him to go inside. He looked at them all, still on edge but went inside. He was instantly startled by them slamming the door behind him._

"_What the hell guys?" He yelled with wide eyes._

"_Kurt?" He turned at the nervous sounding voice. It was Blaine, with red and yellow flowers in his hands._

"_B-blaine? What's going on?" He asked not understanding. Blaine approached him slowly and held out the flowers which Kurt took carefully._

"_Yel-yellow roses mean friendship." Blaine started out looking Kurt deep in the eyes. "And you are my best friend Kurt."_

"_Blaine what-?" Kurt still not processing what's going on._

"_Red roses." Blaine continues on as if Kurt hadn't spoken. "They umm..they usually mean 'I love you'." Kurt breath hitched and he couldn't make himself breathe properly. "It-It's too early for that. But I-I am crazy about you Kurt Hummel. The red roses to me are hope and promises f-for romance."_

"_Blaine I-" Kurt tried to interrupt but Blaine was intent on finishing his speech. Obviously not seeing that Kurt was having a little trouble breathing._

"_There's a moment when you say to yourself, 'Oh there you are, I've been looking for you forever.'." Kurt could not believe this was happening to him. He's being asked out by the guy of his dreams and he literally is taking his breath away. "Just everyday, being in your presence makes me happier...it makes me feel whole, like I've been missing a piece of me my whole life and I've finally found it..found you." Blaine takes a deep breath before forming his next words. "You move me Kurt. And I was wondering maybe if you f-felt the same way and would like to be my boyfriend?" Kurt's looking at him with wide eyes by now and taking short uneven breaths._

"_I- Blaine.." He forces out, hoping Blaine will understand. Which he does because he automatically panics._

"_Oh god! I'm sorry, I was rambling about my stupid feelings for you and you can't even breathe!" Blaine takes the flowers from Kurt and lays them on the table near them. He takes Kurt's hands and hold them against his chest. "Breathe with me okay Kurt?" He murmurs. "Breathe in." They both take a long breath in. "Breathe out." and they let it out. "Come on lets do this a few more times." He says soothingly. Eventually, Kurt's no longer out of breath and Blaine is back to being nervous._

"_Thank you." Kurt says. "I know that wasn't the reaction you were going for." They both laugh at that._

"_No. But it was better than you rejecting me." Blaine says before wincing. "Which you still didn't decide on and I could still be doomed for heartbreak and eternal embarrassment." Kurt holds in a laugh at that._

"_I-I uh I really like you too Blaine. I would love to be your boyfriend." Kurt says blushing a bit. Kurt would never forget the smile that graced Blaine's lips when he said that._

"_I...that's.." Blaine seems speechless before shaking his head and looking at Kurt again, eyes glancing down to his lips for a moment too long. "Can I kiss you?" He whispered. Kurt nodded slowly and Blaine sighed in relief and cupped the side of Kurt's face before slowly pressing his lips to Kurt's. At first Kurt doesn't react. He just let's Blaine kiss him. But soon enough he's cupping Blaine's cheek and kissing him harder before they both pull away and stare at each other._

"_Is this really happening?" Kurt asked and Blaine smiled at him before kissing him again quickly._

"_Yes it is."_

_..._

"I guess it's kind of flattering that you had that panic attack." Blaine murmured with a laugh in his tone.

"It was mostly because our weird friends escorted me with creepy smiles and locked me in a room where I though I was alone, but yes you also surprising me like that was part of the reason." Kurt smirked at him. Blaine gave him a sort of sad smile which made Kurt frown. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing..nothing." Blaine tried to assure him. Kurt narrowed his eyes at him.

"_Blaine._"

"I'm fine, baby." Blaine smiled a more genuine smile. "Now let's get ready for bed and I'll come with you to your house tomorrow." Kurt let it go but knew something was bothering Blaine.

* * *

><p>They made it to Kurt's house the next morning after Blaine's parents made them breakfast. Kurt was nervous to see his dad's reaction to the journal. He's told his dad a lot of what he went through, but it's different to read what his mother thought about what she did. It made it hurt more.<p>

They walked into the house, a little surprised to see Puck there along with Rachel and Finn.  
>"Hey guys." Kurt greeted them as he and Blaine walked in hand in hand.<p>

"Hey dudes. Burt's in the garage waiting for you Kurt." Finn told him. Kurt nodded and looked to Blaine.

"Want to come with me?" He asked. Blaine was about to answer him when Rachel interrupted.

"Blaine! We should talk NYADA. You know the dorms aren't the best place to live in. So I was thinking, you and I should find an apartment together since our boyfriends are throwing away their futures and aren't going to become as famous as us anyways." Rachel said brightly striding over to take Blaine's hand and walk him to the kitchen. Blaine stared at her like he had no idea what to say.

"Why did you even bring her here today?" Puck whispered in Finn's direction. Finn just shrugged looking a little sad and embarrassed by what Rachel said.

"Um..I'm gonna go now." Kurt said, face red with embarrassment and anger by what Rachel said as well.

"I'm really sorry about her. She's not always so mean, just uh.." Finn stopped to think of a good word to describe his girlfriend.

"She thinks she's better than everyone else." Puck said rolling his eyes. "Don't worry about your boyfriend Porcelain, we'll keep an eye on him." Kurt nodded and left the house to go find his dad at the shop.

* * *

><p>He waved at all the workers, who smiled at him genuinely when he did and went back to work. He knocked on the door when he got to his fathers office.<p>

"Come in." He heard he dad say and walked inside.

"Hey dad." Kurt murmured as he closed the door. His dad looked up sharply as he heard the sound of his voice.

"Kurt. You know I did not mean it-"

"Dad it's okay. I understand what you meant. I was just...scared." Kurt murmured.

"Scared of what?" His father asked.

"Change I guess. Drastic change." Kurt admitted. "I'm just scared that what I think will make me happy, actually wont make me happy."

"And what do you think will make you happy son?" Burt asked. "Because sometimes you have to just listen to your gut and go for it."

"I...I just wish everything stayed like this. Just until I was sure of what makes me happy." Kurt ducked his head. "I could be happy here with you dad, but I want to be in New York too."

"Kurt, I know change is scary." Burt stands up and makes his way over to Kurt. "It's scary and unpredictable and it comes at you fast. The world isn't going to stop just because you aren't ready for it to keep moving. I don't want you to be one of those people who gets lost while everyone one else is moving on Kurt. I want you to go and find what makes you happy. No matter what you choose I'll be there for you. Losing you was the worst thing to ever happen to me Kurt. If you choose to go to New York, so what?" Burt shrugs, putting both his hands on Kurt's shoulders. "No distance is going to make me disappear. Wherever you go, what ever you choose, do it for you Kurt. It's okay to be scared but don't let fear rule your life. Understand me?" Kurt nodded and hugs his dad tight.

"I understand. Thanks dad." Burt just nods and hugs his son tighter. Kurt doesn't show his father the journal just then.

* * *

><p>"So how was your chat with Rachel about me ruining my future." Kurt had just gotten back from talking to his dad in the shop. Rachel had gone home, thankfully, and Blaine was sitting in the living room with Puck and Finn.<p>

"She wants us to move in with each other, coordinate our schedules so we could be a power couple, except for the fact that we're both in committed relationships and I'm gay. Then we'll both perform on Broadway and have wonderful house husbands at home waiting for us with our 3 kids and flowers to congratulate us when they can't make it to a show." Blaine recalls all the delusional things Rachel told him about.

"When are you going to break up with her?" Puck asked Finn, who just sighed. "I mean we're both Jews and us Jews have to stick together but fuck she's annoying as hell.

"She just has a lot of dreams and she's really determined." Finn defends her weakly.

"But does she have to treat you like a minor role in her dream? How is that fair to you?" Kurt raises an eyebrow.

"It's not but what other choice do I have for myself? I'm not getting that football scholarship I was hoping for and other than that I have nothing going for me." Finn sulks.

"You are a natural born leader Finn. You have a good heart and you're a really good person. Don't stay in the background just because one opportunity lets you down. You need to live your own life Finn. Just because you don't know what to do with it now, doesn't mean that along the way you won't find out." Kurt says, giving Finn a smile.

"Thanks dude. I guess you're right." Finn says.

"He's also a hypocrite." Puck chimes in. Kurt glares at him and he just shrugs. "What? You're telling Finn the exact same thing you should be telling yourself." Kurt sighs.

"He's not wrong." Blaine murmurs. Kurt closes his eyes and lets out a breath.

"I know guys. I already talked to my dad. So if you could just give me time to decide what to do with my life that would be great."

"We're not rushing you baby." Blaine assures him.

"I'm rushing him. How long do you have to apply to all those fancy New York schools? Not too much longer I bet." Puck asks.

"I've already applied okay?" Kurt snaps at him, tired of being questioned. Blaine looks at him in shock.

"What?" Kurt looks back at Blaine guiltily.

"Wes and I made a deal that I had to apply to some schools in New York. So I did, not because I've made up my mind but just to see if I get in anywhere." Kurt couldn't tell if Blaine seemed happy or not about this information. "But I also applied to some Ohio schools just in case."

"Oh." Blaine said, face still not showing any emotion. Kurt wondered when he started doing that so well, he hated it.

"Oh?" Kurt repeats trying to get something out of Blaine.

"Just oh." Blaine says with a shrug.

"What happened to no more secrets Blaine?" Kurt quips. Blaine sighs and covers his face.

"If I had something I needed to tell you I'd tell you Kurt." Blaine replies.

"Then why do you keep looking at me like that?" Kurt asks sounding exasperated.

"Like what?" Blaine asked wearily.

"You should have had your mom make popcorn." Puck whispers to Finn, who gives him a puzzled look. "This is too good."

"Like I'm making you sad!" Kurt answers. "What am I doing?" Blaine looks at him quietly then looks away.

"Nothing Kurt." He sighs. "I'm just being selfish." Kurt looks at him in confusion.

"What are you talking about?" Kurt asks. "Blaine honey please talk to me." Kurt murmured cupping Blaine's cheek and stroking it softly. Blaine closes his eyes tightly and a tear slides slowly down.

"I can't. Just not right now okay? I promise to tell you one day." Blaine whispers. Kurt looks at him in concern.

"Okay. But tell someone okay? I don't like it when you're sad Blaine." Kurt said quietly, resting his forehead on Blaine's and Blaine nods.

"Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss." Puck chants. Finn shakes his head at him. Kurt and Blaine chuckle despite themselves and kiss quickly.

"Kurt? Can you come help me with dinner?" Carole calls from the kitchen.

"Coming!" Kurt yells. He kisses Blaine one more time before hopping off the couch and going into the kitchen. Finn and Puck both look at him.

"I don't think you have anything to worry about man." Finn says with a goofy smile.

"You've got him wrapped around your finger." Puck agrees. Blaine shakes his head at them. Only time will tell if they were right.

* * *

><p>"Those flowers are a definite maybe but these are totally out." Kurt told her. He and Carole were looking at wedding magazines while everyone else was in the living room.<p>

"Burt picked those ugly things out. But I don't think he really cared, he's not interested in this wedding decorating stuff. He just wants to get married." Carole said with a fond smile on her face while toying with the ring on her finger.

"Well it's a good thing you have me. I will not have your wedding looking dull and boring." Kurt promised. "Now I say this color arrangement, these flowers and hide my dad's blue powdered suit that he's so insistent on wearing to the wedding?" Carole giggles.

"Having you as a son is going to be amazing." Carole says smiling.

"So is having you as a mother." Kurt says, freezing as soon as he finishes saying it. Inside he berates himself. _Why is it so hard for you to just move on and forget about all the horrible things that happened. That was the past. Carole is not like your mother was. _"So..um y-your dress is going to be this one right?" He asks, hastily trying to change the subject. Carole lays a gentle hand on his hand. He looks up and finds her looking at him with an understanding smile.

"You know you don't have to consider me your mother." Carole tells him. "I know how hard it is for you, and how much it doesn't sit right with you." Kurt looks down ashamed.

"It shouldn't bother me so much anymore. And I know you aren't her, so it shouldn't bother me to think of you as my mom." Kurt murmurs.

"Kurt you know you don't have to call me 'mom' right? You can keep calling me Carole." She says sweetly. "It doesn't matter to me."

"You are so much more of a mom than my mother has ever been. Even before she started abusing me." Kurt says in a small voice. "You have been nothing but sweet and caring. Everything that I use to wish my mom was. But it's just really hard to call you that when all I can think of when I say 'mom' is her." He chokes out. "I'm so sorry."

"Oh no sweetie, don't be sorry." She gasps pulling him into a slightly awkward hug with how they are sitting. But it's motherly and warm and Kurt never wants to let go. "It's not your fault Kurt. I can't go back and save you from what she did to you but just know that I'll be here for you as long as you want me to. I love you no matter what Kurt. Whether you call me mom or Carole or whatever. You are my son regardless now." Kurt hugs her tighter and tries not to cry.

"I...Thank you. Just thank you Carole." Kurt breathes out shakily as she rubs his back.

"It's no problem sweetie." She said squeezing his a little before letting go. "Now back to happier thoughts. Would you like to come with me to try on wedding dresses tomorrow?" She asked with a smile. Kurt laughs happily.

"Of course I would!" He responds with a smile before they both start going through the wedding magazines again.

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><p><strong>Hope you guys enjoyed that chapter! Let me know what you thought with a review! :)<strong>

**Hint(s) for next chapter: Burt finds out about the journal, Can you guys guess why Blaine is sad? That might be figured out, and maybe a time jump.**

**Until next time!**


	31. Growing Up

**A/N: Yeah I know, I'm the worst for taking forever. I've just been adjusting to college life. But I finally found time to finish this chapter. So i really hope you enjoy it. It's sort of Blaine-centric but also a lot of Klaine :) This story is coming to a close guys. I'm thinking just a few more chapters but you can never be sure with me. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>"...I know, it's normal to feel like this. Anyone in this situation would...but I can't tell him." Blaine sighed sadly.<p>

"Blaine he needs to know. You're making yourself miserable because of this." Nick said, frowning at his friend.

"Yeah Blaine, he already knows you aren't yourself lately. Just tell him why." Jeff agreed with his boyfriend.

"I don't want to make anything any harder for him." Blaine muttered.

"Are you sure about that?" Jeff asked, suggestively raising his eyebrows. Blaine groans, hiding his face in his hands.

"Why am I telling you guys this again?" He asked, voice slightly muffled. Nick snickered.

"Because we're geniuses in the boyfriend department." Nick said proudly.

"Yes, masters of communication." Jeff smirked. "You and Kurt need to get better at that."

"You'd think after three years they'd know how to do that, wouldn't you Jeffery?"

"Yes, yes I would Nicholas." Blaine glared at his friends before sighing again. He got up from where he was seated on his bed to go to his desk and hand them a paper. They look at it in confusion before looking about at Blaine incredulously.

"You didn't Blaine." Nick said with a whisper.

"I did." He said not looking at them.

"But what about-"

"It doesn't matter okay, maybe this way he'll be happy and I'll be happy." Blaine said interrupting what ever Jeff was going to ask.

"You need to talk to him. You don't have to do this Blaine. You'd hate it." Nick's voice was quiet and low. "I don't want you to resent Kurt. He isn't asking you to do this."

"I could never resent Kurt. I know he isn't making me do this. I'm doing this because I want to okay."

"Blaine, Kurt hasn't even-"

"I know. But this is just a back up plan okay. I already talked to Finn and Puck about this and they seem to think I have nothing to worry about. But I know I do." Blaine said quietly.

"You need to trust him. And trust your relationship. Kurt has enough to deal with, and you throwing yourself into depression because you're scared will only make things harder." Nick told him.

"You're both scared. All of us are scared." Jeff whispered softly. "It's this weird time in our life that we don't rely on someone else to make a decision for us. We make it for ourselves, even though we don't know what the hell we're doing. I get that you want to be with him Blaine. I really do, but you don't throw away what you want because of that." Blaine looked at them with a mix of anger and sadness.

"I want him." He said adamantly.

"You have him Blaine." Nick said stonily. "No matter what he chooses, you have him. You're telling him to do what makes him happy and to follow his dreams, but now you're thinking about doing the opposite." Blaine groaned and slowly sunk to the floor. Just then his mother walked to the door to check on the boys. She looked at her son in concern.

"Is everything alright sweetie?" She asked. Blaine looked up and gave her a weak smile.

"I'm fine mom." He knew she didn't believe him but she let it drop anyway.

"Well Kurt just called, apparently you haven't been answering your phone." Blaine felt around for his phone and noticed three missed calls. "He said to put on something comfortable and to be ready in 45 minutes." His mother said, unable to keep the smile off her face. Blaine's eyes widened.

"Sounds like you have a date Blaine." Nick said with a pleased smile on his face. Kurt always picked just the right times to be spontaneous.

"When was the last time you guys went out on a date?" Jeff wondered aloud. Blaine couldn't recalled the last time. They mostly just went over to each others house to be with each other. It's been a while since they've been out alone.

"I don't know. But I guess I should start getting ready." Blaine said standing up and moving towards his closet.

"Tell Kurt I said hi, and you two make sure he looks nice and doesn't wear too much gel." Blaine's mom said. Blaine glared at her.

"Mooom." He whined. She chuckled.

"Have fun sweetie. Don't stay out too late." She said smiling as she left the room. Jeff then pushed him away from his closet.

"We've got you Blaine. Just sit back and let us deal with the rest." Jeff said winking at Blaine. Nick came over to Blaine and started feeling his curls.

"Maybe just a little gel. You need to learn to embrace your curls." Nick murmured. Blaine pulled away from him.

"You guys, I can dress myself and do my own hair you know." Blaine frowned. They ignored him.

"You are going to wear these jeans and this shirt annnd," Jeff scanned through Blaine's bowtie collection picking one out and handing it to Blaine. "this bowtie should go nicely." Blaine sighed and took the outfit. He knew they wouldn't let him leave unless they got to dress him.

* * *

><p>Kurt pulled up to the Anderson household exactly 45 minutes later. He parked his car, stepped up and walked up to the door to ring the doorbell. Blaine's mother opened it with a smile.<p>

"Hi Andrea." Kurt said with a charming smile. She smiled back.

"Kurt!" Andrea exclaimed, pulling him in for a hug before letting him into the house. "Come in, Blaine, Nick, and Jeff are upstairs." Kurt nodded and headed up the stairs to Blaine's room. He knocked on the door three times. The door opened to reveal Jeff.

"Kurt's here Blaine!" He yelled into the room before letting him inside.

"I'm still doing Blaine's hair and then you crazy adorable kids can go." Nick said in a teasing voice. Blaine was sitting on the floor, with his arms crossed, not looking too happy.

"I don't get why I can't gel my hair like I usually do." Blaine muttered.

"There are so many hairstyles Blaine. Why go with just one?" Jeff said with a smirk.

"You know I love you with or without the gel Blaine." Kurt said smiling at his boyfriend.

"I prefer with, that way I don't look like Medusa." Blaine sighed and Kurt laughed.

"Blaiiine you are handsome either way." Kurt said crouching down to kiss him on the cheek and then the lips. "Hurry up Nick, we have places to be."

* * *

><p>"So may I ask what's with the random date? Not that I mind at all." Blaine said as he and Kurt got in the car. Kurt looked over at him with a smile.<p>

"I just felt like doing something with you. I mean it's always that we either go over to my house or your house, which is fine, but I just wanted to go on a real date." Kurt shrugged. Blaine smiled over at him. "And you've been kind of sad lately and I thought this would cheer you up." Blaine sighed and placed a hand on Kurt's knee, squeezing it lightly.

"I love you." He said. Kurt smiled at him again.

"I love you too." He said before pulling over next to a restaurant. He hurried to get out of the car and around to Blaine's side to let him out. Blaine smiled and rolled his eyes fondly at him.

"Someone's a perfect gentleman today." He teased. Kurt scoffed, while taking Blaine's hand.

"I'm always a perfect gentleman." Blaine chuckled at him and kissed his cheek quickly.

"Tell me that later when you're snapping at the waiter to hurry up with your food." Blaine said unable to hold back a smile. Kurt pouted.

"I've been working on that." He muttered. Blaine laughed and squeezed his hand.

"I know baby, I know."

The entered the restaurant together, hesitant to let go of each others hands but they both knew it would be trouble if people noticed them. They both wished that they didn't have to be wary anymore. When they were seated, they tangled their feet together and looked at their menus. Shortly, a waiter came and took their orders and they both sat looking at each other with smiles.

"I missed this." Blaine said, daring to take Kurt's hand. No one was paying them any attention anyway.

"Well I hope you're up for more after dinner." Kurt said. "I have one more thing planned before I take you back home."

"Why not just stay over? It's the weekend." Blaine said with an eyebrow raised. Kurt's smile widened.

"Good, I get to cheer you up all weekend." Blaine chuckled.

"Baby, I said I'm fine. Just being around you brightens my day." Kurt forced himself not to swoon because he knows that Blaine was just trying to make him forget about how weird he had been acting.

"Yeah yeah. Because the sun shines out of my ass and blah blah." Blaine snorted. "I just want you to be okay." Kurt said in a soft voice. "I want us to be okay."

"We _are _okay. We are so okay Kurt." Blaine immediately answered, taking Kurt's other hand too. "And I promise to tell you what was wrong. That's why Nick and Jeff were over."

"I was just really worried about you. We always promise no more secrets but I don't think we're very good at keeping that promise." Kurt said with a sad smile.

"Well no one tells each other everything. If we knew everything about each other, what else will there be to learn about in the future?" Blaine said with a shrug.

"But the things that can hurt us both. We've both had secrets that we let fester inside and that never ends well. We always fight about it. I don't like fighting with you." Kurt's eyes are downcast as he says this. Blaine now feels incredibly guilty for not seeing how his feelings were affecting Kurt's. Maybe he really didn't have anything to worry about.

"I don't like fighting with you either Kurt. I hate it. And I mean it I'll tell you later." Blaine promised. Kurt nodded happy with his answer. At that moment their food came and they ate while jumping into lighter topics.

"So the next special place is the Lima Bean?" Blaine asked curiously. "We kind of go here all the time."

"Well we have a lot of special memories here." Kurt said with a smirk, as they walked up to the counter. They ordered their drinks and went to find a table when they were done. Before they made it to their spot Kurt stopped. "Remember the first time we said I love you?" Blaine smiled involuntarily.

"We were walking to the same table we are walking to now and you were rambling about something excitedly." Blaine recalled. Kurt laughed as they both moved to sit.

"And you were just staring at me, asking questions in all the right places." Kurt added before taking a sip of his coffee. "And then you just said I love you, like you've been saying it to me forever. And even with all the shit that was happening to me at that point in my life, you've always made me feel loved and wanted. And I'm just so...thankful to have you." Kurt murmured happily. Blaine's eyes watered and he just grabbed Kurt's hand in response.

"Fearlessly and forever?" He asked. Kurt smiled softly.

"Fearlessly and forever Blaine."

* * *

><p>When they made it back to Blaine's house his mother and father were home, watching the TV in the living room.<p>

"Hey kids. How was your date?" Simon asked when they walked in.

"It was amazing of course." Blaine said squeezing Kurt's hand and looking over at him with an adoring look in his eyes. Simon and Andrea bit back smiles at their loving looks.

"Well it's late so Kurt you're staying over and your dad said to call him in the morning." Andrea told him. Kurt tore his eyes away from Blaine and nodded.

"Okay, goodnight mom and dad." Blaine said dragging Kurt towards the stairs.

"Goodnight boys." They both said. Kurt said goodnight quickly as he was dragged up the stairs. They laughed as they stumbled up the stairs.

"Kurt is perfect for our boy." Andrea said with a happy sigh. Simon snorted.

"You're just now figuring this out?" He asked her.

"No, but you should have seen how sad Blaine was this morning and a few hours with Kurt made him look like that." She said, in awe of the affect the boys had on each other.

"They're soulmates." Simon said with a shrug. And it was left at that.

* * *

><p>Blaine was asleep as soon as Kurt got out of the shower. He was still in the outfit he went out in. Kurt smiled at his sleeping form and helped him out of his clothes into some pjs. As he was putting his clothes in the hamper, he noticed something on the floor next to it. He picked it up and looked at it. His eyes widened when he looked at it.<p>

"Kurt?" Came the sleepy voice from the bed.

"Why..why do you have this?" Kurt asked quietly. He walked over to the bed slowly. "Is this what you've been so sad about?" It took a while for Blaine to focus on what Kurt was talking about. He took a deep breath before he spoke.

"Not exactly." He sat up taking the paper from Kurt.

"Is it because of me? I don't understand, I thought you already knew what you wanted?" Kurt asked sounding awfully confused.

"You've been reminding me of all the stuff I'd been leaving behind if I go to New York and you don't. And I know you haven't decided yet, but you're what I want and I'm afraid that if we are in different places, I'll lose you. I don't want to lose you Kurt." Blaine admitted.

"You aren't going to lose me." Kurt said putting both hands on Blaine's shoulders. "I'm not letting you throw away your dreams because your boyfriend is a broken indecisive loser."

"You're not a loser and you're not broken." Blaine frowned.

"I don't want you to feel like it's either stay here or lose me Blaine. That's never going to happen. You've been here for me when I needed you most and even when it was over you've stuck with me. And I know I'm not always the easiest person to be around, but here you are." Kurt smiled. "We have this...this spark. And things like that don't just go away because of distance. We'll just shine brighter apart and even brighter together. Even if I do stay here, I'm going to visit you whenever I can, and talk to you all the time. I know it'll be easier for you to feel better when I decide but I just need some time okay?" Blaine nodded, feeling better with Kurt's words. He leaned in and kissed him softly. Kurt kissed him back and pulled away to look into Blaine's eyes. "Promise me no matter what you'll believe in us but also follow you're dreams. There's no reason you can't do both."

"I promise." Blaine whispered. Kurt let out a shaky breath.

"Did you already apply?" He asked. Blaine nodded.

"Are you mad?" Blaine asked. Kurt chuckled and shook his head.

"Of course not honey. It means a lot that you want to be around me so much. I want to be around you too but we have to do what's best for us individually too. I'm terrified of the future, but I'm learning that I need to figure out what I want and not let fear rule what ever decision I make. It's time for me to grow up." Kurt said and Blaine smiled widely at him.

"I'm so proud of you baby." Kurt ducked his head to hide his smile.

"So much time has passed hasn't it? I mean next week I'll be singing on stage with you in my first competition and then we'll be getting letters from colleges. There was a time I didn't even think I would make it to my senior year." Kurt said as they both laid back in the bed. They laid facing each other, Blaine's hand stroking Kurt's cheek and occasionally moving to fix the hair falling in front of Kurt's face.

"Even though you constantly assured us that you would be okay." Blaine reminded him.

"But you guys knew me better than that. You knew I was scared." Kurt murmured. Blaine nodded.

"We were too. But now there's nothing to be afraid of." Blaine said and Kurt snorted.

"Except the future and failure and the unknown and-"

"Who said we have to be afraid of that?" Blaine interrupted him. "Why can't we just accept that the future is going to happen and so is failure and there will always be things we'll never know?

"Oh I accept it but I'm still afraid. Aren't you?" Kurt asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah but I think we're both strong enough to make it through anything. Don't you think?" Blaine asked. Kurt nodded sleepily and yawned causing Blaine to laugh quietly. "Come on, let's get some sleep." Kurt turned so his back was to Blaine and Blaine pulled him into his arms. Soon enough, they were both drifting off to sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Let me know what you thought with a review!<strong>

**Hint(s) for next chapter: Therapy, Burt finds out about the journal, Kurt on stage, and if you guys want ill write the Burt and Carole wedding :)**

**Hopefully next chapter will be up next week. Until then :)**


	32. Happier

**A/N: I'm soooo sorry for the long wait but i promise it was worth it! I have a nice long eventful chapter for you! Hope you love it!**

**Warnings for implied sexual situations (Not getting into the whole who is the bottom or top thing) and violence**

* * *

><p>"Okay Warblers. This is our first performance of the year. Now we want to make it all the way to the top this time. Are we ready to blow everyone out of the water?" Wes asked excitedly. All the guys cheered except for Kurt. He was too lost in his head to even think about being excited. Sure he was excited when they were practicing but now everything is too real. Now he actually had to go on stage with everyone and sing. He took a shuttering breath. He never thought he would sing again, and now he was and <em>holy crap he couldn't do this.<em>

"Kurt? Are you okay?" Kurt blinked and realized everyone was staring at him now. He took a deep breath and nodded.

"Yeah...I...I'm fine." He managed to say. It felt like his insides were doing back flips and all he could think of now was how many ways he can mess up on stage.

"Someone get him some water." Wes said, walking up to Kurt. Blaine grabbed him a water bottle and handed it to him. "It's alright Kurt. You're just a little nervous." Kurt twisted the cap off and drank quickly.

"Hey slow down. Take small sips baby, it's okay to be nervous." Blaine said taking the bottle away when Kurt started coughing. When Kurt was done Blaine gave the bottle back and he took smaller sips and looked away in embarrassment.

"What if my mother was right? That I'm not meant to sing or be on stage? What if I go out there and mess up everything? I'll be a screw up and everyone will hate me." Kurt rambled irrationally.

"Kurt, stop everything is going to be okay." Nick said with an encouraging smile. Kurt shook his head and stood up.

"I can't do this. I can't!" He said pacing back and forth.

"Kurt. Calm down. Everything is going to be fine, you can do this." Blaine said placing his hands on Kurt's shoulders to make him stop. "We believe in you Kurt. You know the songs, the moves, everything. Just take a few breaths and relax."

"What if I mess up?" He whispered. "I don't want to cost you guys the competition."

"You wont mess up Kurt," Wes told him, smiling. "You were born to perform, during practice you are amazing. Trust me." Kurt looked at the others for confirmation and they nodded and smiled.

"It's true, your dance moves are almost as great as mine." David said with a playful wink.

"And it's amazing to have our countertenor back." Jeff said happily. Kurt smiled and then took a breath.

"Okay...okay, I can do this." He said with determination. Blaine gave him a soft kiss on the lips.

"You 're going to kill it out there." Blaine smiled. Kurt nodded and smiled.

"Up next, please welcome the Dalton Academy Warblers!" They all heard the announcer introduce them.

"Everyone get in your places!" Wes ordered. All the boys headed to the stage and took their places. Blaine at center stage and everyone else at either side. Kurt looks through the audience while he can and draws comfort when he sees his dad in the audience. He smiles and takes a deep breath. He can do this.

_Oh yeah  
>Oh yeah<br>So scared of breaking it that you won't let it bend  
>And I wrote two hundred letters I will never send<br>Sometimes these cuts are so much deeper then they seem  
>You'd rather cover up, I'd rather let them be<br>So let me be, and I'll set you free_

_I am in misery  
>There ain't nobody who can comfort me<br>Why won't you answer me?  
>The silence is slowly killing me<br>Girl you really got me bad, you really got me bad  
>I'm gonna get you back, gonna get you back <em>

Kurt knew all the moves and the words for the song. It was exhilarating and the best he's felt in a while. He felt like everything was the way it was supposed to be in that moment. He snuck a few glances at Blaine while he sang. If anyone was made for the stage it was him. He was amazing.

_Your salty skin and how it mixes in with mine  
>The way it feels to be completely intertwined<br>It's not that I didn't care, it's that I didn't know  
>It's not what I didn't feel, it's what I didn't show<br>So let me be, and I'll set you free_

_I am in misery_  
><em>There ain't nobody who can comfort me<em>  
><em>Why won't you answer me?<em>  
><em>The silence is slowly killing me<em>  
><em>Girl you really got me bad, you really got me bad<em>  
><em>I'm gonna get you back, gonna get you back<em>

_Say your faith is shaken, you may be mistaken_  
><em>You keep me wide awake and waiting for the sun<em>  
><em>I'm desperate and confused, so far away from you<em>  
><em>I'm getting here, don't care where I have to go<em>

_Why do you do what you do to me, yeah_  
><em>Why won't you answer me, answer me yeah<em>  
><em>Why do you do what you do to me yeah<em>  
><em>Why won't you answer me, answer me yeah<em>

_I am in misery_  
><em>There ain't nobody who can comfort me<em>  
><em>Why won't you answer me?<em>  
><em>The silence is slowly killing me<em>  
><em>Girl you really got me bad, you really got me bad<em>  
><em>I'm gonna get you back, gonna get you back<em>

As the song ended people clapped like crazy. The quickly got into place for the next song. Kurt walked to the center along with Blaine. Kurt looked at Blaine and Blaine gave him an encouraging smile. He smiled back and waited for his cue to start.

_Made a wrong turn once or twice  
>Dug my way out, blood and fire<br>Bad decisions, that's alright  
>Welcome to my silly life<em>

_Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood_  
><em>Miss 'No way, it's all good'<em>  
><em>It didn't slow me down.<em>  
><em>Mistaken, always second guessing<em>  
><em>Underestimated, look I'm still around<em>

_Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel_  
><em>Like you're less than less than perfect<em>  
><em>Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel<em>  
><em>Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me<em>

Kurt couldn't help but smile when Blaine joined in with him along with all the other Warblers in the background. This was one of the many songs that they sang together while they were in the car. People in the audience were dancing along and singing. It was too good to be true.

_You're so mean (you're so mean)  
>When you talk (when you talk)<br>About yourself. You were wrong.  
>Change the voices (change the voices)<br>In your head (in your head)  
>Make them like you instead.<em>

_So complicated,_  
><em>Look happy, You'll make it<em>  
><em>Filled with so much hatred<em>  
><em>Such a tired game<em>  
><em>It's enough, I've done all I could think of<em>  
><em>Chased down all my demons<em>  
><em>I've seen you do the same<em>  
><em>(Ohh ohhhhhhh)<em>

_Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel_  
><em>Like you're less than less than perfect<em>  
><em>Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel<em>  
><em>Like you're nothing, you are perfect<em>

_The whole world's scared, so I swallow the fear_  
><em>The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer<em>  
><em>So cool in line and we try try try but we try too hard<em>  
><em>And it's a waste of my time.<em>  
><em>Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere<em>  
><em>They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair<em>  
><em>Exchange ourselves and we do it all the time<em>  
><em>Why do we do that, why do I do that (why do I do that)?<em>

_(Yeah! Ooooh!)_  
><em>I'm pretty, pretty, pretty<em>

_Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel_  
><em>Like you're less than less than perfect<em>  
><em>Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel<em>  
><em>Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me<em>  
><em>(Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel<em>  
><em>Like you're less than less than perfect)<em>  
><em>You're perfect, you're perfect to me<em>  
><em>Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel<em>  
><em>Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me.<em>

As soon as the song ended, applause broke out and it was almost deafening. Kurt smiled more wide then he would like to admit. He had never been so happy. Blaine pulled Kurt to center stage and the applause got even louder when he bowed. It was like a dream, and he never wanted to wake up from it.

* * *

><p>"Baby, you were amazing out there!" Blaine grabbed him as soon as they were off stage.<p>

"So were you! That so amazing Blaine. Why didn't you tell me it could feel like that?" Kurt exclaimed, basically jumping up and down. Blaine laughed at his overexcited boyfriend. He pulled Kurt closer and gave him a kiss. Kurt was surprised but immediately melted into it.

"What was that for?" Kurt asked when they pulled apart. Blaine shrugged.

"Just because you are so adorable." Blaine smiled. Kurt rolled his eyes but smiled.

"Do you think we won?" Kurt asked him.

"The other teams were pretty good but I think we were better." Blaine said with a confident smirk on his face.

"I hope so." Kurt murmured. Blaine took Kurt's hand and squeezed it.

"Even if we didn't, we still did pretty freakin' awesome." Blaine assured him. Kurt nodded, they had done really great.

"Guys are you done making out back there? The results are in." David asked, poking his head through the door. They both rolled their eyes.

"We're coming." Kurt said, glaring at David who just laughed. They followed David and the rest of the team back to the stage. It was between them, the Hipsters, and Unitards.

"Okay lets cut to the chase." The announcer said, opening up the envelope that contained the winner. The announcer smiled as he looked at the card he pulled out and Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand probably too hard, but Blaine squeezed his right back. "The team that will be moving on to Regionals will be...The Dalton Academy Warblers!"

There were screams and cheers all around and Kurt felt himself be picked up and spun around by Blaine. They were going to Regionals!

* * *

><p>It was quiet a blur after getting ushered off stage and shaking hands with the other teams. Kurt still felt like he was on cloud nine. His mother was wrong. He was a singer, a performer, he was meant to be on stage.<p>

"Kurt!" Kurt whipped around at the sound of his dad's voice. He smiled widely when he was wrapped in a huge crushing hug. "You did it! You were amazing! I mean geez kid, I knew you could sing but that was just amazing." He had never heard his dad gush like that before. Happy tears collected at the corner of his eyes.

"Thanks Dad."

"Oh honey! You boys were just amazing together!" Carole hugged Kurt when his father let go of him. At that moment Kurt had never felt more loved.

"You boys ready to celebrate?" Burt asked the whole group of Warblers who cheered loudly. Kurt laughed. This was one of the best days of his life.

* * *

><p>"I really love when you smile so much." Blaine murmured. Kurt had driven Blaine home after they had celebrated. They were now cuddling on his bed as they watched TV.<p>

"I can't help it. Today was amazing!" Kurt said taking his eyes off the TV and turning to look at Blaine. "I never thought I would love being on stage so much. I mean of course I use to dream of it but I never thought it would happen."

"Well it did and you were so good. I'm pretty sure I heard Wes talking about giving you a solo next time." Blaine said smiling at Kurt. Kurt's eyes widened.

"What? Are you serious?" Kurt sat up quickly, sounding really excited. Blaine couldn't help but laugh.

"You are so cute when you're excited." Blaine pulled Kurt back down to kiss him.

"Blaiiine tell meee. I need to know so I can start preparing songs to impress Wes with." Kurt whined.

"Yes I'm serious." Blaine chuckled and rolled his eyes. "We will definitely go all the way to Nationals with your voice."

"You are the sweetest boyfriend in the world." Kurt smiled and leaned down to kiss Blaine again. Blaine's hands traveled under his shirt.

"And you are the most beautiful boyfriend in the world." Blaine wiggles his eyebrows playful while pulling Kurt's shirt up and over his head.

"This isn't cuddling." Kurt said with with a smirk, as he watched Blaine take off his own shirt.

"No but it's so much better right?" Blaine asked as they both impatiently took off their pants, eyes roaming over each others bodies.

"Yeah." Kurt breathed out shakily. Blaine attached his lips to his favorite place on Kurt's neck. "B-blaine w-wait." Kurt put his hands on Blaine's shoulders and pushed him back gently. Blaine looked at him sheepishly.

"Sorry. I get a little carried away when it comes to you." Blaine moved back a little as to try to give Kurt some space but Kurt held on to him.

"No! No it's fine. More than fine actually." Kurt smiled nervously. He licked his lips and looked into Blaine's eyes. "I um...I think I'm ready Blaine." Blaine stared at him dumbly before it clicked in his head.

"Oh! Y-you are? Are you sure? Because we don't need to. I'm perfectly fine with what we've been doing so far. We don't have to yet. I don't want you to-" Blaine rambled until Kurt cut him off.

"Blaine are you ready?" Kurt asked him seriously. Blaine nodded a little too eagerly.

"Yeah I am." Blaine said. Kurt smiled and leaned in to kiss him. Blaine melted into the kiss and laid Kurt back down on the bed. He pulled back and looked into Kurt's eyes. He saw traces of nervousness but also love and trust.

"I love you." Blaine whispered. Kurt nodded.

"I love _you._" Kurt murmured. "Now come back down here and continue what you were doing earlier." Blaine chuckled, lowered himself down on top of Kurt, and eagerly continued ravishing his neck.

* * *

><p>"They so obviously had sex last night." Santana smirked, watching Kurt and Blaine in the kitchen baking cookies.<p>

"What? How do you know that? They are just baking. And ew he's going to be my brother in a few days, I don't want to know about him having sex." Finn babbled with wide eyes.

"I have a sixth sense for these kinds of things." Santana shrugged.

"No way." Finn refused to believe her.

"I gotta side with Finn on this Santana. They're always acting like that. Besides I don't see any limping from either of them." Puck said, looking at Kurt and Blaine for signs of anything remotely sexual.

"Oh come on, you can just tell by looking at them." Santana said.

"Oh my god stop talking about this." Finn groaned.

"They probably did it in your room Finn." Santana teased.

"They weren't even here last night." Finn huffed. "They were at Blaine's house and Kurt stayed over even though Blaine's parents worked late yesterday and he said he'll be back later and oh my god they did it." Finn realized sounding horrified. Puck and Santana burst out laughing at Finn's face.

"What are you guys laughing about?" They all turned at the sound of Blaine's voice. Kurt and Blaine were standing in the doorway of the living room with looks of confusion on their faces

"And why does it look like Finn saw a ghost?" Kurt asked with a frown.

"Yeah Finn why do you look like that?" Puck asked with a secretive smirk on his face. Santana decided to joined in on the fun

"Wasn't it because you found out Kurt and Blaine ha-"

"Don't you have therapy today Kurt?" Finn blurted out frantically. Kurt looked at him strangely but he nodded slowly.

"Yeah, I'm just waiting for my dad. I wanted him and Blaine to come with me." Kurt told them before turning to Blaine. "Make sure the cookies don't burn, I'm gonna go get the journal." Blaine nodded and headed back to the kitchen and Kurt walked towards his room. Finn sighed in relief and glared at Santana and Puck who were laughing once again.

"Not funny you guys."

* * *

><p>"Is there a reason you wanted us both here Kurt?" Burt asked his son. He's been to a few sessions with Kurt but he didn't know why he was at this session.<p>

"There are some things I wanted to tell both of you so I wouldn't have to repeat it later. I just want to get everything out in the open." Kurt told both his dad and Blaine.

"Kurt you said you have something you wanted to show your dad?" Julia prompted. Kurt nodded and took the journal out of his bag and handed it to his dad.

"A while ago I went to my old house and I found this in her room. It kind of explains a lot of why she did what she did." Burt looked at the book but didn't open it.

"You read it?" He asked him. Kurt nodded.

"A few entries. Blaine did too." Kurt told him. "You don't have to read it, I just didn't want to keep it from you." Burt gave Kurt a smile.

"Thanks kiddo. I don't think I'll read it just yet." He doesn't give the book back, he holds onto it.

"Kurt also said he was ready to go over his attack in full for both of you." Julia interrupted. Blaine and Burt looked at Kurt in shock. That was one thing they weren't expecting and weren't even sure if they were ready to know just yet. They've both heard pieces of everything but never the whole story.

"Are you sure baby? This is a huge step." Blaine asked Kurt who nodding, having already known how hard it would be.

"I'm ready. I need to do this for myself. I know I'm never really going to get over it but this is better than holding it in." Burt couldn't have been more proud of his son in this moment. He's come a long way since they've been reunited.

"Okay buddy, just take your time." Burt told him, giving him an encouraging smile and taking his hand. Blaine took his other hand as well. Kurt took a deep breath and recalled the whole story.

...

_**Day 1**_

"_Hey Kurt. Do you want to sit in during Warbler's practice?" David asked. Kurt shook his head._

"_I think I'm going to go home and take a nap before my mom gets home." He told him. His mother hadn't hit him for about a week and a half. It should have made him ecstatic but instead it terrified him. He was scared to sleep at night, thinking that she was probably going to change her mind at any time. His friends, however, were extremely happy about the fact that she hadn't laid a hand on him for this long, optimistic that she would just stop. _

"_Aw come on Kurt, just this once?" Jeff pouted. Kurt rolled his eyes fondly._

"_Jeff, let Kurt get some sleep." Blaine stepped in, knowing how tired his boyfriend had been lately._

"_I'll stay for practice tomorrow you guys, I promise." Kurt said, giving them all a smile. He gave Blaine a quick kiss on the lips and began walking away from the group._

_When Kurt got home he headed straight to his room and plopped down on his bed. Within minutes he was asleep. _

_She had gotten a new job with some musical theater group making costumes. She worked late and usually by the time she got home Kurt was sleep. She had this job for about a month before she got fired. It the tenth time she was fired that year and she was sick and tired of it. So she came home in a horrible mood._

_Kurt heard the door slam loudly and was suddenly awake. He heard things breaking and crashing downstairs and decided to peak out of his door. His mother was throwing a tantrum and destroying the house. Kurt quickly closed his door and went to his bed. He didn't want her to see him and decide he was a better target. Kurt thought she had calmed down about ten minutes later and sighed in relief. But it was short lived when she slammed his door open. _

_He looked at her. She wasn't drunk, surprisingly. But her eyes. Kurt would never forget them. She was clearly crying but her eyes had no life to them. He had never been more terrified of her in his life than at that moment._

"_It's over. I'm done trying." She said dully. _

"_W-what?" Kurt asked._

"_Get up." She ordered softly. Kurt followed this order quickly. She looked at him intensely. She walked up to him and took his chin in her hand. "How do you still keep the light in your eyes even when everything in your life is horrible?" She asks gently. Kurt doesn't answer, just looks at her with wide eyes._

"_We can't do this anymore Kurt. We don't belong here anymore." She said with a sad smile. _

"_Wha-what are you talking about?" Kurt asked frantically, dread filling his veins._

"_Did you know I wanted to be a singer?" She asked him. Kurt nodded slowly. _

"_Y-yeah...when y-you were younger.." Kurt remembered. She shook her head._

"_No..I've always wanted it. But you," She laughs bitterly. "you ruined everything."_

"_H-how did I ruin your dream?" Kurt spat out. "You're ruining my life!" Kurt stood up for himself, but she was still smiling._

"_That's the point. But don't worry, it won't be for much longer." The last thing Kurt saw was her smug face before she knocked him out._

_**Day 2**_

_Kurt woke up the next day very confused. Everything hurt so much. He looked around the room wondering what happened. He was in the living room and it was trashed. He briefly wondered how he had moved from his bedroom to the living room. He then guessed it must have been his mother's doing. He attempted to get out but immediately ceased his movements when it hurt even more and made him dizzy. He scooted back towards the wall in back of him and slumped against it._

_For the next few hours he slipped in and out of consciousness. At one point he saw feet in his line of view. He slowly looked up and saw his mother staring at him almost angrily. He guessed maybe she had meant to kill him. He looked away and soon slipped back out of consciousness._

_**Day 3**_

"_Mom p-put t-t-that down!"Kurt cried desperately. His vision was hazy and it hurt to breathe. His blood was staining the carpet and his mother was standing above him with a bat in hand. At this point he didn't remember nor care where it came from, but instead accepted the fact that he was probably going to die._

"_It's over Kurt. Just let it happen." She said stoically. She hit him over the head with the bat hard. Kurt fell to the floor but forced himself to keep consciousness._

"_M-mom...p-pl-please.." He whispered. She bent down and turned him over until he was facing her._

"_It's time sweetie, aren't you glad it's finally over." She spoke sweetly but her words and the blood on her hands betrayed her motive._

"_N-n-no...p-please don't do th-this." Kurt whimpered. She slapped him hard._

"_It has to be done." She said before standing up. Kurt wasn't ready to die but he knew it was bound to happen. He was losing way too much blood and it even hurt to breathe. He didn't even feel any of the blows to his body anymore. She was hitting him everywhere. His arm was possibly broken and he couldn't see anything out of his right eye. It hurt to move any part of his body, so didn't. He stayed still and didn't even cry out anymore. It would probably only give her more joy._

_He thought of Blaine. Beautiful, amazing, loving Blaine. Blaine who he would probably never see again. Blaine who will probably find out he was dead and feel horrible about keeping his selfish secret. Blaine who had done nothing but care about him, and all Kurt has done was be selfish and weak. He was going to miss Blaine._

_And all of his friends. Wes. David. Nick. Jeff. He might not ever see them again. He might not be around to laugh at their crazy shenanigans. He was going to miss them so much._

_At some point the blows to his body ceased but it didn't matter anymore, he knew he was losing too much blood. He felt his mother grab him roughly and toss him back into the wall._

"_Goodbye Kurt." She whispered. He opened his left eye slowly only to be greeted with one final blow to the head. He didn't pass out right away. He opened his eye again and saw his mom standing on a chair he hadn't noticed before and putting her head through a rope that was hanging from the ceiling. His mind didn't process what was happening. His mind was hazy with pain. The last thing he remembered was he stepping off the chair and the rope tightening around her neck._

_..._

"And that's what I remember." Kurt finished, wiping the tears that were falling from his face. He looked at his father who's face was red with rage and he even had tears running down his face.

"She did that because she lost her job? She almost killed you because she didn't know how to hold down a job?" Burt asked incredulously.

"She blamed everything on me." Kurt murmured. "When she first started abusing me, she wouldn't do it too often and usually it was on bad days or when she was drunk. Later on it could have been just because I was in her presence and she was bored. But whenever she got fired she just wanted to..." Kurt paused looking for an appropriate word. "...to break me I guess."

"We thought from reading the journal that she might be mentally insane." Blaine added for Kurt. Burt looked down at the journal.

"Well from what you've told me about her and from the journal that is a definite possibility Kurt." Julia told him. "She let her regret build up and instead of blaming herself she chose you as her target because it made her feel better temporarily."

"I can't believe she would do that." Burt muttered. "I am _so _sorry Kurt. I should have done something. I should have known!"

"Dad this isn't your fault." Kurt told him. "It's her fault. I hate everything that happened to me but it made me who I am. I wish I didn't have to live with panic attacks, nightmares, permanent bruising and terrible memories but I do. My life is so much better now because I'm with you now and I have Blaine and all my friends and Carole and Finn. We can't go back and change the past and I know it's completely weird to say this but I like the way things are now." Kurt told his dad with a small smile on his face. Blaine was looking at his proudly, not surprised at all at how much his boyfriend's mindset had changed since his first therapy session.

"You are amazing." Blaine whispered in his ear causing him to smile wider.

"I'm really proud of you son." Burt said.

"I am too Dad." Kurt said with a smile.

The rest of the meeting was just Julia was asking about Kurt's week and how's everything been lately. She also commented on how far Kurt had come since she first started seeing him. Kurt was overjoyed by how proud everyone was of him, nothing could make his life any better.

* * *

><p>"Dad hurry up! You shouldn't be taking longer than Carole to get dressed—she's the bride." Kurt yelled down the hallway.<p>

"I'm trying to tie this damn bow tie. I don't understand how Blaine wears these all the time." Burt grunts. Kurt rolls his eyes and walks to Burt's bedroom.

"Years of practice Burt." Blaine calls from where he was in Kurt's room.

"Wear the regular tie Dad, it'll look better. I hope you know how to tie that one." Kurt said taking the bow tie from his dad who sighs in relief.

"Of course I can tie a regular tie." Burt huffs and ties the tie but it turns out kind of sloppy. Kurt laughs and fixes it.

"Excited?" Kurt guesses. His dad chuckles.

"Probably a bit too excited." Burt admits.

"Nonsense." Kurt says, straightening his tux and giving his dad an approving look. "It's your wedding day. You can never be too excited for something like this."

"I guess you're right." Burt said. "You better go check on Finn, I saw him still in his pajamas." Kurt's eyes widened in horror.

"FINN!" Kurt yelled storming out of the room. He went to Finn's room and saw Finn not in his pajamas but wearing a pair of pants that were way too short for him and a shirt that did not fit him at all. Finn looked up at Kurt helplessly.

"I swear I didn't do anything wrong." Finn said in defense. Kurt shook his head and sighed.

"Blaine! Come here." Kurt yells.

"Kurt I think I got the wrong suit." Blaine said walking down to Finn's room. Blaine and Finn looked at each other and simultaneously said "Ohhhhhh."

"Finn didn't I tell you the suit on the couch was yours and the one on the chair was Blaine's?" Kurt asked knowing that was exactly what he had said.

"Is that a trick question?" Finn asked. Kurt sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Switch clothes you guys. You are not going to the wedding looking like that." Kurt ordered them. Blaine threw the long arms of Finn's dress shirt over Kurt's shoulders.

"You told me I looked sexy no matter what I wore." Blaine said with an exaggerated pout. Kurt patted his cheek.

"Yeaaaah not this honey." Kurt said, pulling away from Blaine, unbuttoning the shirt he was wearing and handing it to Finn. "Now change so we can get on the road. Finn you have to take Carole to the wedding first and Blaine, Dad, and I will come a bit later."

"Okay dude. Just don't undress your boyfriend in front of me, it's weird." Finn said looking at a spot above Kurt's head.

"Only if you promise not to undress your boyfriend in front of me." Kurt said with a straight face.

"I won't undress my boyfriend in front of you." Finn said quickly before he realized what he said. "I mean my girlfriend! Dude you tricked me! Not fair." He whined. Blaine and Kurt laughed hysterically at Finn's reaction.

"That was priceless." Kurt giggled. "Being your brother is going to be fun."

"Kurt! Where are the rings?" Burt yelled from his room. Kurt calmed down from his laughter enough to roll his eyes exasperation.

"On your night stand Dad! I told you I would grab them before we left." He called back leaving the room.

"He's way more intense than usual." Finn muttered. Blaine nodded and sighed almost dreamily.

"I know, isn't it great?" Blaine asked. Finn looked at Blaine like he was crazy. "It's just really obvious he's happy. I love it when he's like this."

"Wow, you really love him. Like Burt loves my mom." Finn said sounding extremely surprised. Blaine nodded.

"More than anything." Blaine murmured in a content tone.

"Well take care of him dude. He's going to be my brother so if you hurt him it's only fair that I hurt you." Finn told him. Blaine chuckled.

"You have my full permission to hurt me if I ever hurt Kurt." Blaine said seriously. "And you better continue being a good brother to Kurt."

"I will, I promise." Finn said. Blaine nodded, happy with his answer.

"Good. Now let's get changed before Kurt comes back and freaks out."

* * *

><p>"Carole are you ready?" Kurt knocked on the door. He had made sure everyone was in their seats and everyone who had an important role in the wedding was standing in the right place. Finn's friends from the New Directions agreed to sing along with the Warblers since they didn't have a band. Everything was going smoothly.<p>

"Almost." She said opening the door and letting Kurt inside.

"Wow, Carole you look beautiful. My dad is going to be speechless." Kurt said smiling widely. Carole truly did look spectacular.

"Thank you sweetie." She smiled at him happily. "Everything is running smoothly?" Kurt nodded.

"Yes, we're just waiting for Finn so he can walk you down the aisle." Kurt told her. "I just wanted to talk to you before he came back."

"About what?" Carole asked sitting down and patting the seat next to her. Kurt sat down.

"I just wanted to thank you for being you I guess. You make my dad so happy and I cannot ask for a better person that I would want my dad to be with. You've been so good to me too even when I wasn't the best person to be around. I'm just really glad that you're going to be apart of our family now." Kurt said in a soft voice.

"I'm not supposed to cry yet Kurt." She sniffled, carefully wiping her eyes. Kurt laughed.

"Sorry." He said. She gave him a watery smile.

"Don't be sorry. You are so selfless and always caring about everyone else. I still remember the boy was too afraid to talk during dinner but stuck it out because he just wanted his dad to be happy. And now here you are, you planned this entire wedding with me. I'm really glad to be apart of your family too." She told him, pulling him in for a tight hug. Kurt hugged her back just as tight. They both pulled apart when there was a knock on the door.

"Ready mom?" Finn asked from outside the door. Kurt stood up and held out his hand to Carole, who took it with a smile.

"Let's get this show on the road."

* * *

><p>"Both Carole and Burt have prepared vows for each other." The officiant said. "Carole?" He prompted.<p>

"I am just beyond happy that this day had come. I never thought would find anyone like you. So caring, loving, and protective. You make me look forward to everyday. You've been so great with Finn, and you've given him someone to look up too. And you brought Kurt into our lives, who is a wonderfully amazing person. You've given us both this amazing family and I'm just looking forward to life with you in it. I love you more than I ever thought was possible." She finished off with tears in her eyes, looking at Burt lovingly.

"I'm not nearly as good with words as you are but I do know that you make me happy and I'm glad to have you and Finn as a part of our family. It means the world to me that you've been so patient and loving with Kurt. You make my life exciting and I didn't know love could feel this good and right until I met you. I love you so much Carole and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you." Burt said, eyes gleaming with unshed tears.

"Rings?" The officiant asked. Kurt handed a ring to his dad and Finn to his mom.

"Burt do you take Carole to be your lawfully wedded wife?" The officiant asked. Burt smiled and slipped the ring on Carole's finger.

"I do."

"Carole do you take Burt to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Carole smiled and slipped the ring on Burt's finger.

"I do."

"By the authority vested in me by the State of Ohio, I now pronounce you husband and wife." They didn't wait any longer before they kissed. The cheers in the room were deafening.

* * *

><p>"You put together an amazing wedding baby." Blaine whispered in Kurt's ear. They were slow dancing along on the dance floor along with all the other couples.<p>

"It was pretty amazing. My dad and Carole are so happy." Kurt murmured.

"How are you feeling right now?" Blaine asked him.

"Happy. I feel like everything is finally looking up." Kurt told him. "I've felt so happy lately Blaine. I didn't know I could feel so happy." Kurt smiled uncontrollably and his teeth showed. Blaine fell even more in love during that moment.

"Well you deserve it more than anyone else I know." Blaine said, resting his forehead against Kurt's.

"You know what? I think I'm actually starting to believe that."

* * *

><p><strong>What did you think? Let me know with a review!<strong>


	33. Author's Note: I'm so sorry

Hi everyone. I'm so sorry it's been so long since I've put up a new chapter. I have been stressed with school work and trying to get use to college. My anxiety has been messing me up a lot and I've relapsed twice. I've also had a hard time figuring out what to write. But I'm in the process of writing the next chapter now. I hope you guys understand.

In my mind I picture two chapters left but it might turn into three. You never know with me. The last chapter, of course, will be the epilogue and there will be many time skips.

If any of you have questions about the story, anything you want addressed in the final chapters, or just any motivation for me at all just private message me or leave it in the reviews. It might take me a little while to get back so if you want a quick answer you can message me on my tumblr too: ominousbeauty . tumblr . com

Thank you guys for being such great fans of this story. I promise I wont abandon it. Have a good day everyone!

-Shaina


	34. New Beginnings

**A/N: You guys are the absolute best for sticking with me this long. Thanks for all your beautiful messages. I reread them like everyday because they made me so happy. You are all so sweet and the reason I am so glad I decided to post this story. I've been taking care of myself and writing this story is really therapeutic actually. I wasn't abused like Kurt but i incorporate a lot of myself into the story. So it's been a long journey. I'm sad to say that this is the last chapter but there will be an epilogue! So again thanks for being patient and I really hope you enjoy!**

**Warning(s): A whole bunch of happiness and tears. A bunch of time skips. And I even squeezed a flashback into the mix ;)**

* * *

><p>Happiness isn't a constant thing, Kurt eventually learns. He knows that everyone has bad days, even when they are happy people. He knows that he's going to have bad days whether he likes it or not. He knows that he'll have days where nothing feels like it has changed, even if he knows they have. He'll have doubts and fears and want to scream and cry; but no matter what he's got to have faith that everything will work out in the end.<p>

College was a very terrifying concept to him. Being away from his friends, his first support system. The only ones he trusted for a while. How was he going to do that? Without them he wouldn't be alive right now. If he went to New York he would be with Blaine and maybe even Nick and Jeff. But then he wouldn't be able to see his dad everyday. The thought of that was terrifying too. But living so far from Blaine, if he chose to stay, is something he didn't think he could live with. He was completely torn.

When the acceptance letters started coming in, Kurt was more on edge than he had felt in a while. He refused to open any of the letters, even when his friends said it was better to get it over with.

"Kurt it's going to be fine. Just open them." Wes told him. They were all gathered at Kurt's house to support him. All the boys except, Kurt and Blaine, had already opened their letters. Kurt was the only one who wasn't enthusiastic about seeing where he got accepted.

"I don't want to open it and find out that I'm a failure." Kurt mumbled. Inside the envelopes hold his future and if they all rejected him, he made all this progress for nothing.

"Baby, there is no way you got rejected by all of your schools. Come on, let's open ours together." Blaine said trying to coax him. He had told Kurt he wasn't going to open his letters until he did. He was just as nervous as Kurt was but he was also getting antsy and just wanted to know if he got into NYADA.

"Let's start with the Ohio school. If you didn't get in there, you probably won't get in anywhere else." Santana shrugged. The rest of the guys glared at her.

"How motivating Santana." Jeff snorted. She rolled her eyes.

"Like you guys were helping either. Porcelain open a damn letter and get it over with." She demanded.

"You can't force him to open it." Nick frowned.

"I'm with Santana. You can't just keep waiting man. You'll feel much better knowing than not knowing." David said in a much nicer way. Kurt sighed and picked up the Ohio State letter. So did Blaine.

"Ready?" Blaine asked him. Kurt nodded shakily. They both tore into the letters.

"Well?" Santana snapped when both of them didn't say anything.

"I got in." Blaine shrugged. Everyone else looked at Kurt. Kurt was just staring at the letter in his hand for a long minute before looking up.

"Me too." He smiled. They all breathed a sigh of relief.

"Okay now Tisch." Santana prompted. Kurt bit his lip as he opened the letter. He unfolded it but was too scared to look.

"Some else read it please." He said holding the letter away from him. Santana snatched it from him and her eyes roamed over the paper.

"You got in Porcelain." She said sounding proud. Kurt was relieved but he still had three more letters to open.

"Okay Blaine, see if you got into Columbia." Kurt told him. Blaine nodded and opened his letter and read it over.

"I got in!" He said happily.

"Julliard Kurt!" Wes said thrusting a letter into Kurt's hands. Kurt took a deep breath and opened the letter he read the letter slowly.

"I didn't get in." He murmured. It got silent for a while. Everyone was staring at Kurt, unsure of what to say.

"It's just one school." Blaine told him. Kurt didn't look up he just nodded. Eventually, he put the letter down and smiled weakly.

"I guess you can't get into every school you apply to." He shrugged. The rest of the group smiled in relief.

"Unless you're Wes of course." David said nudging Wes. Wes rolled his eyes.

"Whatever." He grumbled.

"You're not happy enough for someone who got into Harvard." Nick said with a frown. Kurt gave Wes a knowing look.

"Blaine why don't you see if you got into NYADA." Kurt changed the subject. Wes gave him a grateful look.

"Okay. You check too." Blaine said while opening his letter. Kurt did too. The both read it at the same time.

"Oh my gosh. I got in!" Blaine exclaimed happily. Everyone cheered for him. They knew how much Blaine had wanted to go to this school. Kurt was the only one who was quiet, still staring at the letter.

"Kurt?" Wes was the first to notice Kurt's silence. Everyone eventually quieted down.

"I-I...I got in. I can't believe it." He whispered in disbelief. It was silent before everyone cheered again.

"Oh my god baby! This is amazing!" Blaine said pulling Kurt in for a tight hug.

"I can't...I don't...how?" Kurt babbled, not seeming to believe what was on the letter.

"Wait does this mean you're going to New York for sure now?" David asked. Kurt looked at him with wide eyes.

"I-I don't know...I-"

"Wait you still have to open your Parsons letter." Santana interrupted him, taking the NYADA letter out of his hand and putting the Parsons letter in place of it. Kurt opened it and read it quickly. He smiled widely this time.

"I got in! I got in!" He yelled throwing his arms around Blaine's shoulders in pure excitement. Blaine responded by picking him up and spinning his around.

"I'm so happy for you Kurt." He murmured. Kurt laughed happily. He couldn't believe it. He got into almost all of the colleges he applied to. He's actually going somewhere with his life.

"I think I'm going to New York." He said, sounding sure of himself for the first time.

* * *

><p>Needless to say, his dad was probably more excited than him when he saw Kurt's acceptance letters. Kurt had never been hugged so hard in his life.<p>

"I'm so proud of you son. You are going to make it so far in this world, you know? Everyone better watch the hell out." His dad mumbled proudly into his hair. Kurt chuckled.

"I'm not that great though. I got one rejection letter." Kurt brought up. He heard his dad sigh as he loosened his hold on him. He looked up at his dad to see a gaze of disbelief.

"Kurt are you kidding me? You got into NYADA, Tisch, Parsons, and Ohio State. Screw Julliard. You kept up your grades through years of abuse, PTSD, and all the bad days on you meds. Kurt, you are more than just great. And in a few years when you are graduating from one of those colleges you are going to look back and say 'damn I was a warrior'." Kurt felt his eyes begin to water. His dad placed both his hands on either side of his face. "One rejection does not reflect who you are as long as you don't let it. You've learned that already. One stupid letter is the least of your problems kiddo. Focus on the fact that you've accomplished something that, a few years ago, you didn't think was possible." Kurt nodded, wiping the tears from his eyes. Burt smiled kissed the top of his head and pulled him in for another hug.

"So New York huh? Excited?" His dad asked him. He nodded but also shrugged.

"Yes and no. Being so far from you is going to be terrible." Kurt murmured.

"Like I told you before, you and I will be fine. Whenever you need me to be over there, I'll drop everything to be there. You know that." Burt insisted. Kurt nodded because he did know. He had the best dad in the world, of course they would find a way to make it work.

"I'm going to miss you." Kurt whispered.

"I'm gonna miss you too. But we have a few months left. No need to jump the gun." Burt said finally pulling completely away from the hug. "Now why don't we get Finn and Carole and watch a movie. Will that make you feel better?"

"Only if I get to choose."

"You've earned it."

* * *

><p>"Do you know which one you're going to choose yet?" Blaine asked. Kurt shook his head.<p>

"I kind of want to go to Parsons though NYADA is amazing. I love singing but I love fashion too. I wish there was a way I could do both." Kurt sighed almost sadly. Blaine kissed his cheek softly. "What do you think I should choose?"

"I think you'll succeed no matter where you go." Blaine replied, the corners of his mouth turning up as Kurt smiled but sighed in exasperation.

"You're biased." Kurt laughed softly, looking down at his hands.. Blaine shrugged.

"Maybe so, but I've seen you in your element in both music and fashion." Blaine ducks his head to catch Kurt's eyes and doesn't continue speaking until their eyes meet. "I truly believe that no matter what you do or where you go you'll be amazing." Kurt couldn't hold back at smile at that. He leaned over to kiss Blaine softly.

"I love you." He mumbled against Blaine's lips. He felt Blaine smile as he kissed him again.

"I love you too."

* * *

><p>Months pass and things only seem to be getting better. Yes he still has some bad days but he was going to graduate soon. He was going to move to New York and live with his boyfriend, and Nick and Jeff. He felt as if he was finally getting that new start that he always wanted.<p>

"How's the speech going?" Burt asked Kurt. Kurt has been coming home and going straight to his room ever since he found out that he had to write one.

"You know being salutatorian is much harder than they make it seem." Kurt grumbled not taking his eyes off his laptop. "It's an honor sure but I have to write an amazing speech the inspire my fellow classmates and all I'm coming up with is bubble gum cotton candy fluff that no one is going to remember." Burt rolls his eyes and walks over to Kurt's desk.

"Let me see what you have so far. You should go to the living room with your friends and try to relax. You aren't graduating for a few weeks now." Burt suggested, pulling Kurt's chair way from the desk, ignoring his son's protests.

"Dad," Kurt whined, "You can't read it. I'm not proud of it yet."

"Then maybe you aren't writing about the right thing then." Burt suggests. He scans over the word document on the laptop. "See here's where you go wrong, 'college is the beginning of your life'. Do you really believe that?" He asked Kurt. Kurt shrugs. "You mean to tell me that everything up until your first day of college has no significance?"

"That's not really what I mean, it's just that things are much more real when college starts." Kurt tries to explain to him.

"So everything is not real now?" Burt raised an eyebrow, a trait he seemed to be picking up from his son.

"Not really, I mean I've never had a job and college is nothing like high school." Kurt shrugged.

"It's a big change but that doesn't mean that everything before you go to college isn't real." Burt said. Kurt groaned.

"See! I told you it was terrible." Burt sighed.

"Okay let me tell you about graduation speeches Kurt." Burt said. "It's rare that someone will remember them. Unless you are some celebrity speaker or something, the only thing people will remember is when you say congratulations to the graduating class." Kurt looks disheartened by this information. "But you can't let that get to you though. There are always people out there who want to be inspired. Your life isn't just beginning. There are just more paths with more obstacles now that you are becoming an adult." Kurt's expression was now completely bleak.

"So what do I write about then? I'm not asking to be remembered for this, I just want something to be proud of." Kurt mumbled miserably. Burt places his hand on his son's shoulder.

"You should be proud of yourself right now. You've made it this far after you've been through so much. Don't forget what got you here even if it was terrible. Your past is still a part of you and you should celebrate the fact that instead of letting it hold you back you learned from it." Burt tells him. Kurt sighs but nods. He's still at a loss of what he's supposed to write about. Burt can see the gears turning in his head already. "Why don't you just go out there with you friends and have some fun. You don't graduate for a few weeks kiddo." He pulls his son out of his chair and leads him out of the room.

"But dad." He whines.

"You'll thank yourself for spending more time with your friends because during college you wont see them nearly as much as you do now. You can go back to the speech later." Burt says adamantly. "I can't believe I have to tell a teenager to have fun with his friends. You're really something else son." He chuckles as he and Kurt walk into the living room where all his friends are gathered.

"He's one of a kind." Blaine says from the couch where he's siting. Kurt rolls his eyes but smiles at his boyfriend. He goes to sit next to Blaine while Burt goes back down the hallway to the backyard.

"Can't figure out what to write about?" Wes asked from where he's seated on the floor next to David. Kurt shakes his head.

"It needs to be perfect. I bet yours is amazing. I don't even know why I'm salutatorian." Kurt sulks, resting his head in Blaine's lap.

"Because you got the second highest grades in our senior class." David chimed in. Kurt shot a glare his way.

"I actually haven't finished mine either Kurt. It is really hard to figure out what you want to say." Wes gives Kurt and understanding smile.

"You guys will figure it out don't worry." Jeff said. Kurt groans.

"I just hate that there is always something new for me to freak out about. A few months ago it was getting into college and now it's about writing a speech that people probably wont remember." Kurt mopes. Blaine winds his hands through his boyfriend's hair soothingly.

"But even after freak out you have you make it through okay. You'll make it past this Kurt, you always do." Blaine says leaning down to kiss Kurt's forehead.

"Blaine's right Kurt. Everything will be alright." Nick assured him.

"And you don't really need to worry about writing a speech to inspire everyone. Just write something that means a lot to you." Wes suggested. Kurt sat up and gave Wes a quizzical look.

"What do you mean?" Kurt asked.

"I mean just be true to yourself. Don't stress out about it being perfect. Just write something for yourself. It'll come to you faster that way." Wes told him. Kurt thought about it. It would be too difficult trying to please everyone. Maybe he was right.

"Just don't worry about it now baby. You have time." Blaine said taking his hand and giving him a reassuring squeeze. Kurt nodded. His friends really were the most supportive people ever.

"Thank you guys. You're right, I shouldn't worry too much about this." Kurt responded with a small smile. He was about to change the subject when another voice interjected.

"Are you guys talking about your feelings again? You're worse than girls at slumber parties." Puck groaned. Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Oh please Puck. You know you want in on their little circle of gay." Santana, who was walking in behind him, snorted. Finn walked into the room sheepishly with Rachel in tow.

"I didn't invite either of them they just followed me home." He defended himself.

"He invited me of course." Rachel beamed, feeling the need to chime in. Kurt watched as Santana and Puck shared annoyed glances.

"No one asked Berry." Santana muttered before walking up to Kurt, taking his arm and pulling him away from Blaine. "Need to borrow your boyfriend for a minute Anderson."

"Can I borrow your laptop little bro?" Finn asked as Santana dragged him out of the living room to the kitchen. Kurt nods before they are out of sight of the living room. Once they were alone Kurt eyes her curiously.

"What happened? Are you and Brittany finally together or still just finding moments to sneak away and share lady kisses?" Kurt teased lightly but he was serious. It was clear the two liked each other very much. He didn't know Brittany as well, but he knew Santana was just scared of the response everyone would have. Santana rolled her eyes but also couldn't help but smile.

"We're going to prom together." She told him trying to act nonchalant but he knew she was really excited.

"Oh my god 'Tana that's great! Does that mean what I think it means?" He asked her. She nodded.

"We're together but don't even think that means I'm going to go around vomiting rainbows and glitter." She snarked and Kurt smirked, completely use to her type of humor. "I'm going to come out eventually but on my own time you know. McKinley isn't exactly the safest place to be yourself."

"I understand." And he truly did. His first high school, though he wasn't there too long, was completely hell even before people found out he was gay. "I'm so proud of you." He said sincerely. She brushed off the compliment.

"Whatever. I still have one other thing to tell you." She pulls out a paper and hands it to Kurt. He frowned but takes it and reads it. As he continues reading his expression changes from confused to elated.

"You're going to New York too?" He whispered, looking up from the sheet of paper.

"Yeah, I can't believe it. I thought I'd never get out of this place." She murmured, sounding choked up. He immediately pulls her in for a hug.

"You are amazing. I knew you'd get out of here. I meant what I said before Santana Lopez, I am so proud of you." He felt her sniffle against his shoulder.

"Thank you. I'm proud of you too. Now shut up, you're going to make me cry." She muttered.

"We've both made it so far Santana. Now we're going to college and starting over." He said, ignoring her complaint. She pulled back a bit, trying to wipe her eyes inconspicuously

"We aren't completely starting over. I mean we'll still have everything we do now, we'll just be starting something new." She said with a shrug.

"Yeah I guess you're right." Kurt said, looking pensive. Santana had made a very important point. "I think you gave me something to write about."

* * *

><p>Kurt didn't mean to stay up so late. His mind was just over flowing with ideas about starting something new instead of staring over. He didn't really understand why this stood out to him so much.<p>

"Hey, what are you doing up so late?" Kurt's head snapped up to where Finn was standing at his doorway. He had a bag of chips under his arm and a plate of cookies in his hands. Kurt raised an eyebrow at him. "I get hungry at 1:30 in the morning don't judge me Kurt." Kurt snickered.

"Sure Finn. And I'm just typing my speech." Kurt said looking back at his laptop. Finn walked further into his room and plopped himself down on the mattress.

"Rachel and I read it earlier when you let me use your laptop. She criticized it a lot but I thought it was good. She's still bummed out that you beat us at Nationals." Finn rambled on before stuffing a cookie into his mouth. Kurt couldn't help the smirk that made it's way on his face. Nationals was amazing. He had an amazing solo that blew everyone away and their group number was so amazing that there was no doubt that they would win. Needless to say, Rachel Berry was not a fan of Kurt Hummel at the moment. But he could say the same about her.

"It's not good and not done, but I'm working on it. Here want to read what I have so far?" He said turning the laptop towards Finn. "I changed it up a bit." Finn placed his snacks on the bed and took the laptop. Kurt nervously bit his lip while he waited for Finn to finish reading the speech.

"This is great man." Finn said enthusiastically. "I really like the part about moving on and exploring new things on the way." Kurt gave him a small smile, not quite believing Finn.

"Thanks Finn." He said simply, taking back the laptop.

"No I'm serious dude. You are kind of a role model. You're the reason I'm going to college. Seeing you go from how you were from when I first met you to how you are now is so cool. You don't forget what happened to you but you are going ahead and creating new and better memories." Finn said completely serious. Kurt learned, as he and Finn got closer, that he was a really smart person. Finn was a leader and he was a believer. So if Finn believed in him that much, it was really saying something. He couldn't help but feel a bit verklempt.

"Thank you Finn. I'm going to miss you when I go to New York." Kurt told him. Finn shrugged and gave him a lopsided smile.

"Oh don't worry. I'm going visit you all the time. Especially since Rachel made up a schedule of times where I should visit her and she should visit me." Finn said. Kurt rolled his eyes fondly.

"Rachel and I may not get along but I can tell she's crazy about you Finn." Finn looked bashful.

"We love each other. She's really crazy but I think I can handle crazy." Finn shrugged as if it were that simple. And it was because Kurt understood. He knows people wonder how Blaine could handle being with him because of his past and all, but Blaine loves him anyways. He didn't care before and he definitely doesn't now. Love is a strange thing but Kurt no longer questions it.

They didn't talk for much longer. Finn had finished his snacks and decided to head to bed. Eventually Kurt fell asleep at his laptop.

...

"_So are you excited about tomorrow?" Blaine asked his boyfriend. Kurt was finally going to see his dad after 7 long years._

"_I don't know how to feel yet." Kurt murmured. He was looking down at his hands instead of at Blaine. Blaine knew he was nervous about how different things would be after he went back home._

"_I'm sure it'll be fine. You said you're dad was pretty awesome, right?" Blaine tried to make Kurt excited but Kurt didn't seem so keen on leaving._

"_That was seven years ago. Now I'm abused, worthless, and broken. Who wants to deal with someone like that?" Kurt moped. Blaine frowned. Kurt talked down on himself a lot and it was heartbreaking._

"_I want to deal with you." Blaine smirked, making Kurt blush a bit. Blaine laughed but continued to talk. "You aren't worthless or broken. He's your dad, and he loves you. Why else would he be taking you back?"_

"_Because he feels bad. Because he pities me. Because he has to." Kurt listed for Blaine._

"_You know if he didn't want you all he had to do was say so but he wants you. Just be positive. I promise everything will be okay. If it's not you'll just come back here." Blaine assured him._

"_I should be happy that things are starting over but I'm scared. I don't think I could ever move on from what happened to me." Kurt told Blaine. Blaine didn't know how much more his heart could break. He really hoped that Kurt's dad was as amazing and as helpful as Kurt remembered. Kurt needed more people that helped him think better of himself._

"_Things are going to change for the better. I know they will. And no it's not going to be easy to move on from this. We both know you can't forget it. So just think of this as beginning again." Blaine suggested. Kurt gave Blaine a curious look._

"_What do you mean? I can't just start over. I would if I could."_

"_I mean think of this as a new beginning. This is a new chapter of your life. You'll still have everything else from before but this piece of your life is fresh. It's whatever you make it to be." Kurt thought about it. When it was put like that, it sounded...hopeful. He hasn't felt hopeful in a while._

"_So a new beginning?" Kurt mused. "I like the sound of that."_

_..._

The next day Kurt was stayed in his room for the rest of the day. He only came out to eat if someone reminded him that he had to.

"Kurt, it's lunch time. You can finish your speech up later." Carole said from outside his door. She frowned when she didn't get an answer. That was never a good sign when it came to Kurt. She let herself into the room. She gasped when she saw Kurt on the floor rocking back and forth and staring at the wall. "Oh honey." She rushed to his side to hold him. "Kurt honey what's wrong?" He looked up at her slowly with wide eyes.

"I-I finished it. But I don't think I can read it." He mumbled. She brushed his hair back.

"Oh honey, I bet it's amazing. Finn was talking about how great it was." Carole knew this whole speech thing was taking it's toll on Kurt but she didn't know the extent. It wasn't rare for Kurt to still have bad reactions to things, but he had been so happy lately. It was disheartening.

"It's really personal. I know I didn't have to but I wanted it to be something memorable. I want to leave a mark. I want people to know that bad things are going to happen but there is always room for hope, especially when all seems lost." Kurt whimpered. Carole held him closer.

"You don't have to read this one Kurt. Whether or not you read it, we are so proud of you." Kurt looked about ready to cry.

"But what if it's all for nothing? What if this speech doesn't matter? What if I went through everything for nothing?" Kurt asked. He wants to believe that this huge chunk of his life didn't happen for nothing. While it was unfortunate, he wanted to prove that he was stronger now because of it and important.

"Kurt it only matters if you think it was for a reason. If you believe it, other people will too. And if someone doesn't, then they just don't understand what you went through. Only try to please yourself sweetie." Kurt gave her a watery half smile.

"That's what everyone else said." He mumbled. She chuckled.

"Can I read it?" She asked him. He bit his lip before nodding. He reached up to his bed and passed her his laptop. He looked at her nervously as she read. He was surprised that half way through she started to cry. When she was done she wiped her eyes and put the laptop down.

"This is amazing Kurt. You are so strong okay? I believe in you sweetie. Even if you can't make it through this speech, we'll still proud of you. You are such a role model and you don't even know it yet." Carole told him.

"Thank you Carole. I hope you're right."

"Would you believe me if you heard what your father thought of it? Or Blaine?" Kurt shrugged. She stood up and held out her hand for Kurt to take.

"Print it out and we'll have everyone read it before we eat." He stood up and went to print it. He and Carole walked out of his room together. Everyone was in the living room.

"Look who finally decides to show his face." Burt smirked.

"Kurt finished his speech everyone. But he doesn't think he can read it." Carole explained to everyone.

"I bet it's amazing baby." Blaine said taking Kurt's hand from pulling him to sit on the edge of the couch, next to him.

"Do you want to read it to us kiddo?" Burt asked him.

"You guys can read it. I don't know if I can get through it" He said handing it to his dad. Burt read it out loud for everyone else to hear. Burt's voice broke in certain places and from time to time he felt Blaine squeeze his hand tighter.

"Kiddo, this is amazing." His dad said sounding and looking very emotional.

"He's right Kurt. Everyone going to love it." Blaine said proudly, kissing Kurt's hand softly. Kurt couldn't help but smile.

"I told you it was awesome dude." Finn said smugly. Kurt rolled his eyes.

"I know. I was just worried that it wasn't good enough." Kurt told them.

"You've been working on this for a while now Kurt. You've put so much into this. There is no way it wouldn't be good enough." Blaine gave Kurt a little smile that he returned.

"It's weird not to have someone constantly telling me I'll never be enough or that nothing I do is worth anything." Kurt admitted. His family all looked at him sadly.

"Well just know that no matter what we always think you are worth more than words can say." Carole told him, kissing his cheek gently.

"We love you son. Everything you do is good enough for us. You better believe it." Burt told his son. Kurt smiled through the tears beginning to form in his eyes.

"You'd think I get used to so much positivity that I wouldn't cry every time you guys praise me." Kurt berated himself.

"You'll get used to it. Don't worry." Blaine mumbled softly, rubbing Kurt's back. "And I really think you should let the guys hear your speech. They are going to love it." They both had no idea how right Blaine was.

* * *

><p>"Holy shit Kurt! Are you trying to make me cry?" David asked, already obviously crying.<p>

"Kurt that was the best thing I've ever heard in my life." Jeff wailed. Nick patted his boyfriend back even though he too was emotional.

"Everyone is going to love it Kurt. You're gonna make the whole audience sob as much as David." Nick snorted softly.

"I am not sobbing!" David sniffled. Kurt chuckled at his friends. Blaine was right, as always. He looked at Wes who had been quiet.

"What did you think Wesley?" Blaine asked him for Kurt.

"I think that Kurt should have the valedictorian spot in the graduation. That's going to be a memorable speech and I think it deserves to be in a more memorable spot." Wes insisted. Kurt gaped at his friend.

"B-but what about your speech? I could never take your spot Wes!" Kurt immediately declined the offer. Wes shook his head.

"You've earned it Kurt. And you deserve the best. You deserve that moment. And I'm not taking no for an answer." Wes said pointedly when Kurt protested again.

"But Wes we can't just change tradition like that. We all how big on tradition Dalton is." Kurt told him.

"We'll just see what the headmaster thinks of that."

* * *

><p>"We can't just change tradition like that Mr. Montgomery. Salutatorian speaks at the beginning and the Valedictorian speaks at the end. That's just the way things are." Headmaster Keaton said apologetically. Kurt gave Wes an 'I told you so' look but Wes wasn't ready to give up.<p>

"I really believe Kurt's speech deserves a more special spot in the ceremony. If you just heard it I'm pretty sure you would agree. Either way it's going to have the same impact I just feel like it would be more special if it was the speech at the end that left everyone with something to think about." Wes stressed. The headmaster looked for Wes to Kurt, who was looking at Wes in disbelief.

"Why would you want to do that for me?" Kurt whispered.

"Because there is no one better to bid our class farewell than you. You are inspiring and so is your speech and I think this is one tradition that no one would mind changing just this once." Wes said confidently.

"Well if Mr. Hummel is okay with this, I'll take your word for it. If anyone deserves a little leniency it would be Kurt." The headmaster casts Kurt a bright smile. Kurt's jaw drops a bit. He was constantly surprised by the kindness everyone showed him.

"I-I'm okay with this. Thank you so much Wes. And you to Headmaster Keaton. I promise I wont let you guys down."

* * *

><p>He couldn't believe it. Here he was standing in front of the graduating class. His friends and family were out there clapping for him as he walked up to the podium. He had made it. It felt like a dream. He couldn't believe this moment was real.<p>

As the applause quieted down, he took a deep breath and found his dad in the audience. He was in the middle along with Carole and Finn who brought Santana and Puck too. Blaine was in the front row, giving him a proud and encouraging smile. All the people he cared about most were here to support him. He smiled and pushed himself to begin.

"Hello everyone. It's been a long eventful day for all of us." He looked out among his fellow classmates. "We're graduating. We've made it to the end of his chapter of our lives and now we're moving on." Some of the crowd cheered. "Now moving on. What does that mean? Does it mean just leaving everything that burdened us in the past and starting over? Does it mean forgetting about everything you have now? Does it mean ignoring the bad because you feel like that would give you a fresh start? That's what I use to think it meant. As many of you know, high school hasn't been the best experience of my life. I was in an unsafe environment for most of my schooling and I didn't tell anyone about it." His voice wavered but he pushed through. _I can do this_, he thought to himself. "There was a point in my life where I was sure that I wouldn't live to graduate. And I always told myself that if I did, I would run far away from my problems and my past and just forget everything. I didn't want it to define me. No one wants to be defined by their issues. But I learned that I can't run away from everything. Running doesn't solve anything. As scary as it seems that your problems will always be a part of you, it does not mean they define you. Being at Dalton, creating friendships, falling in love, finding my true home made me realize that moving on doesn't mean leaving the bad parts behind. It just means new beginnings. This is a new beginning for all of us. College, the army, or just taking a break for a while—what ever you choose to do is a new beginning. I know that I was abused. I was demeaned, hurt, and broken. But that is not who I am. I am Kurt Hummel. And I will be what ever _I _think I should be." Just about everyone was clapping and cheering Kurt on when he said that. He smiled through the tears that couldn't help but form in his eyes. He was almost done, and he knew he could make it through. "Accept your past. Accept your problems and fears. Don't let them decide who you are, that is completely up to you. So, Dalton Academy graduates, lets all celebrate our new beginnings together and continue being or continuing looking for who we are. Let's move forward, let's create new memories, let's keep fighting. Congratulations everyone!" The applause was deafening and Kurt was surprised to see everyone giving him a standing ovation. He looked over where Blaine was standing. Blaine was crying and possibly clapping harder than anyone else in the audience. He looked to where his family was and they were all in tears. Even Puck and Santana. _He _caused this reaction. _He_ made it this far. Everything his mother embedded into his brain before suddenly made no sense. He was worth so much more than he thought before. **Kurt Hummel is a warrior.**

* * *

><p>"I think that was everything." Blaine said coming back into the room.<p>

"So this is it I guess." Burt said. "You're unpacked for the most part and your friends will be here in a few hours with their stuff." Kurt nodded sadly.

"Do you have to leave now?" Kurt asked even though he already knew the answer.

"I have to but I'll visit in a few weeks. And I'll call you every day and I even learned how to skype just for you." Burt cracked a smile. Kurt returned it.

"Maybe you can stay one night? It's getting kind of late." Kurt said looking at clock. He winced when he realized that it was only 1:30 in the afternoon. Burt placed both hands on Kurt's shoulders.

"Everything is going to be fine. You have Blaine with you and you'll have you friends too. Santana lives down the hall with Brittany. You have all these people who love and care for you around you. You are going to fine. This is where you belong." Burt assured him. Kurt nodded shakily.

"I'm going to miss you so much dad." He whimpered. Burt hugged his son tightly.

"I know. I am too. But remember what I told you. No amount of distance can keep me away from you. I'm always a phone call away. If you need me I'll be on a plane as soon as possible." Kurt sobbed quietly into his dads chest.

"It's not going to be the same." Kurt cried. Burt rubbed his back gently.

"No but it's nothing we can't handle. We've been through worse. I promise you," he said lifting Kurt's face to look at him, "everything is going to be fine. You're going to love it here and Carole, Finn, and I will be cheering you on from Ohio. You can do this, okay?" Kurt nodded and wiped his eyes.

"Okay." He sniffled. Burt kissed the top of his head.

"I love you son."

"I love you too dad."

* * *

><p><strong>I would be lying if I didn't tear up a bit. Please let me know what you guys thought with a review. :) (Did you notice the how much I hinted at the title? Was it too much. Oh well, I liked it :P)<strong>

**I will try to have the epilogue up shortly. It's going to be a bunch of time skips but it's going to be sweet. Also I'm trying to think of what I will write next. I may continue my other story Lost Hope. I'm also thinking of writing the prequel to this. It will be really and angst and violent though. But i love Kurt angst. Please if you guys have any preference or ideas/prompts that have to do with Kurt/Klaine then please let me know! I would love to keep writing for you all!**

**Until next time! xx**


	35. Epilogue

**A/N: Hey guys sorry I took so long with this last part. I didn't have Wi-fi for a while, and plus i've been reading and seeing Gifs about glee and i just didn't want to think about Glee for a while. I'll start watching when things are happier during glee. (For those of you that have been watching can i know your reaction to the santana and kurt scene? That was just wayy too much. It was terrible in my opinion. And seeing Kurt so sad is too much for me.)**

**Anyways,**

**One thing that is important to me for you guys to know is that just because Kurt is happy doesn't mean that everything is automatically better. He's still going to have bad days, but he's better now. He has a better mindset now. And he has all these people around that care for him. Family is what this story is all about. **

**The first part starts about a month after where the last chapter ended.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>"Hey Blaine. Sorry I missed your calls earlier. Is everything okay?"<p>

"Everything is okay now. Kurt had a panic attack in school and passed out. He's home now sleeping." Blaine told Burt. Burt gasped.

"What happened? Did someone hurt him?" Burt demanded to know.

"No. One of his dance classes is like a self defense class and the instructor said that he freaked out a bit during a hands on activity and they couldn't get him to calm down." Blaine recalled, he looked towards their bed where Kurt was sleeping peacefully and smiled sadly. He heard Burt sigh on the phone.

"Do you need me to come up there? Because I will. I can be there in less than two hours if I buy a ticket now."

"I think Kurt would like that."

...

"Blaine? Why did you let me sleep so long?" Kurt said coming into the living area, rubbing at his face sleepily.

"He was worried about you." Kurt jumped at the sound of his dad's voice. "How are you feeling kiddo?"

"Dad? What are you doing here?" Kurt exclaimed, running to his dad to give him a hug. Blaine looked on with a smile.

"Blaine called me a while ago and told me what happened. I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay." Burt told his son. Kurt looked at Blaine adoringly and mouthed a 'thank you' to him.

"I'm okay. I didn't mean to freak out so much. I knew I was safe but my mind didn't." Kurt said sheepishly. "It's actually really embarrassing. Why didn't I go to Parsons?"

"Because you love music." Burt reminded him. Kurt just groaned. "You know things aren't going to be easy all the time son. Have you been taking your medicine?" Kurt nodded.

"I know things aren't going to be easy but I just wasn't expecting it. I was doing so good lately." Kurt murmured.

"You've been doing great Kurt. But just because you're much happier now, doesn't mean that everything just magically goes away." Kurt looked down sadly. He knew this but he was just so embarrassed he fainted in his class out of fear. He knew he had nothing to be afraid of.

"I know. I guess Finn feels so much better knowing that it wasn't him making me faint this time." Kurt joked. Burt chuckled.

"Finn was definitely relieved but he's glad you're okay. He wanted to come up but he said he didn't want to mess up Rachel's schedule of their visits." They both rolled their eyes fondly at that.

"I'll call him later." Kurt promised. "But since you're here, do you want Blaine and I to take you out? Or I can make dinner. It is my night to cook. I'm sure Nick and Jeff are expecting food when they come back from class."

"Oh no kiddo. Tonight Blaine and I will take care of everything. You just relax." Burt told him. Kurt looked over at Blaine questioningly.

"We have the rest of the day planned just for you. It was Burt's idea." Blaine smiled. Kurt couldn't help but smile wide.

"I love you both so much." He said hugging his father again and walking over to hug Blaine as well. "I hope whatever you chose involves food first because fainting makes me very hungry." On cue Kurt's stomach rumbled loudly causing them all to laugh.

"Of course baby. Let's just grab our stuff and we'll get you some food." Blaine said kissing Kurt's cheek.

* * *

><p><strong>...A few months later...<strong>

"So you aren't going to make it for my first performance?" Kurt asked, sounding heartbroken. He heard his dad sigh on the phone.

"It's not looking too good kiddo. I promise next time I'll make it no matter what, but I can't afford to miss any work right now." Burt tried to explain but he knew Kurt was disappointed.

"Okay." Kurt murmured. He held in tears. He knew that his dad couldn't _always_ make it to New York at the drop of a hat but he really wanted him to be there.

"I'm so sorry buddy. I'll call you before your performance. Make sure Blaine records it for me too." Burt said.

"I will." Kurt mumbled shortly.

"I have to go now but like I said I'll call you. I love you son."

"I love you too dad. Bye." Kurt hung up, wiped his eyes, and took a shuttering breath.

"Baby?" Kurt jumped at the sound of Blaine's voice. "Hey, what's wrong?" Blaine sat next to Kurt on the bed.

"Dad isn't coming to my performance. He has to work and there is no one to cover for him." Kurt told him.

"Aw I'm so sorry Kurt. You know he can't be here for everything." Blaine said taking his hand.

"I know but this is important to me." Kurt sniffled. "I feel like such a loser for crying over this but I just want him to see how far I've come." Blaine wrapped his arms around his boyfriend.

"I understand. But he knows already. He's so proud of you and he wants to be here for you so bad." Blaine said softly.

"I know. God I'm so stupid. It's just a school performance. Why should it matter to me?" Kurt detaches himself from Blaine and wipes his eyes.

"Oh no don't just cast this aside." Blaine pulls Kurt into his lap and pulls his hands away from his face. "I know it hurts but it's going to be okay baby. I know you miss him being around all the time but he can't make it for everything."

"But the thing is that for all the time I was away from him before, I never had family support me for anything. And I was barely with him for so long and now I'm away from him again. I just want to look out into the audience and see someone out there who loves me." Kurt admits. Through his years in school where there have been school plays or any type of competition his mother would either just not show up or just wouldn't let him participate.

"But I'll be there and Nick and Jeff will be there. Santana said she'll skip class to make it and that, of course, means Brittany will come along." Blaine assured Kurt. "We all love you so much baby. We're your family too." Kurt nodded feeling a bit guilty that he hadn't thought about all the support he had with him already.

"I know. I love you guys too. I'm sorry, I know you guys are here for me. I'm just being a bit selfish." Kurt said finally looking at Blaine.

"It's alright Kurt. You have every right to be upset." Blaine gently kissed his forehead. "How about I go cut us some of that cheesecake you brought and we watch a Disney movie?" Kurt smiled genuinely and nodded. He leaned in to kiss Blaine softly.

"Thank you. I love you."

"I love you too."

...

The Winter Showcase was kind of a big deal for first year students. Being able to preform in it gave them a chance show what they were made of. Kurt wanted to prove that he was made to preform. He wanted blatant proof that his mother was wrong. That he would go far with his voice. He believed he could, he just wanted everyone else to believe it too.

It still stung that his dad wasn't able to come, but all his friends were there and that made him feel better. He was next to preform and his heart was racing. He was still known as the person who fainted in Ms. July's dance class by most of the students and the staff. He deserved to be known for much more.

The performer before him finished up their song and he waited for his name to be called. He was the last to go before a 15 minute break. He walked as confidently as he could onto the stage. He looked out to where the piano player was waiting for his cue and he nodded. As the melody started he closed his eyes, took a breath, and began to sing.

_I don't know why I'm frightened  
>I know my way around here<br>The cardboard trees, the painted seas, the sound here...  
>Yes, a world to rediscover<br>But I 'm not in any hurry  
>And I need a moment<em>

_The whispered conversations in overcrowded hallways_  
><em>The atmosphere as thrilling here as always<em>  
><em>Feel the early morning madness<em>  
><em>Feel the magic in the making<em>  
><em>Why, everything's as if we never said goodbye<em>

When he opens his eyes he immediately seeks out Blaine. Blaine is giving him an awestruck look. It felt good to know that Blaine was so effected by his voice. He looked towards his friends, each of them seeming extremely proud of him. But one face made him almost miss the next verse.

Carole.

Carole was there.

His step-mother. His wonderful, loving, sweet step-mother was at his first performance. It had never occurred to him that Carole would come. He assumed that since his dad couldn't make it, none of his family would be able to make it. If there was one word to summed up everything he was feeling right now it would be _loved_.

He had certainly felt loved multiple times by his family and friends. But right now, at this moment he just felt surrounded by it. Like all along he should have just known that she would show up. It was the best feeling in the world.

_I don't want to be alone  
>That's all in the past<br>This world's waited long enough  
>I've come home at last!<em>

_And this time will be bigger_  
><em>And brighter than we knew it<em>  
><em>So watch me fly, we all know I can do it...<em>  
><em>Could I stop my hand from shaking?<em>  
><em>Has there ever been a moment<em>  
><em>With so much to live for?<em>

_The whispered conversations in overcrowded hallways_  
><em>So much to say not just today but always...<em>  
><em>We'll have early morning madness<em>  
><em>We'll have magic in the making<em>  
><em>Yes, everything's as if we never said goodbye<em>  
><em>Yes, everything's as if we never said goodbye...<em>  
><em>We taught the world new ways to dream!<em>

The roaring applause and the standing ovations were heartwarming. He looked out into the audience and saw his friends cheering him on. He saw Blaine with a knowing smile on his face. _Blaine knew Carole was coming_. His eyes shifted to Carole and she had the biggest smile on her face. Kurt impatiently waited until he felt it was okay to leave the stage, and hurried to where his friends and Carole were.

They were all standing by the time he got there and he went straight to Carole basically launching himself in her arms. She laughed happily and rubbed his back soothingly.

"Did you really think that I would miss you performing just because your dad couldn't make it?" She asked him.

"I love you." He murmured because there weren't any words to sum up the range of emotions he felt right then.

"I love you too sweetie." She smiled, pulling away slightly to kiss his cheek. "You were amazing up there. You belong up there honey." She told him and the honesty in her voice made him tear up.

"You were so great up there Porcelain. So worth skipping class over." Santana said smirking at him as he finally let go of Carole.

"No more skipping class this semester." He said sternly but hugged her anyways. "But thank you for coming. You too Britt." He hugged Brittany as well.

"You had Nick tearing up. I can only imagine how Wes or David would have reacted." Jeff jumped in. Kurt chuckled and hugged Jeff and an emotional Nick too.

"We probably would have had to carried both of them back to the apartment." Nick joked.

"David probably would have attached himself to Kurt. I swear if he weren't in love with Wes he would be going for your man Blaine." Jeff winked playfully. Blaine rolled his eyes and moved in to hug his boyfriend.

"I'm so proud of you baby. You were so beautiful up there. I couldn't take my eyes off you." Blaine told him. Kurt's cheeks hurt from smiling so much. He was about say something when he felt his phone vibrate. He fished it out his pocket, smiled at the picture that appeared, and tapped answer.

"Hey Dad."

"I only have a few minutes but that performance of yours was amazing kiddo. You had me tearing up. The guys in the shop saw it too. You managed to turn a bunch of grown mechanics into softies with your voice." Burt said chuckling proudly. Kurt laughed.

"Well I do tend to have that effect on people." Kurt teased. They both laughed.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't be there to see you. But I promise next time it's something big like this, I will be there." Burt promised.

"It's okay dad. I was upset before but then I saw Carole in the audience and I just felt like...I finally had a family." Kurt murmured all while smiling at Carole who grasped his hand and squeezed it.

"You always have family with us kiddo." Burt said and Kurt knew he was smiling. They've been a family for a while now but this really made the term hit home for Kurt. _He finally had a real loving family._

* * *

><p><strong>...3 years and a few months later...<strong>

"Can you believe we've graduated? These past four years have just flown right by." Blaine said to Kurt joyously. They were out at dinner, celebrating with both of their families after their graduation.

"I feel like I say this after every milestone, but I seriously never saw myself making it this far and being this happy." Kurt murmured. Blaine smiled softly at Kurt and took his hand.

"I did." He said simply. Kurt looked up at him with curiosity.

"Really?" Blaine nodded.

"People like you who keep trying even when you don't see any light at the end of the tunnel, are the most extraordinary kind of people. I always imagined you to just shine no matter what." Blaine whispered, kissing Kurt's hand when he saw him tear up. "Since the moment I saw you, I knew." Kurt leaned his forehead on Blaine's.

"You've gotten even better at making me cry." Kurt groaned. Blaine chuckled and pecked Kurt on the lips. "I always knew you would make it far and be happy. But in the beginning I just thought it would be without me." He admitted then smiled softly as he continued. "I like this scenario much better."

"You and I both." Blaine smiled even wider. "To think that we've been together for almost eight years. We're kind of amazing together."

"We complete each other." Kurt stated seriously.

"_I finally found you my missing puzzle piece, I'm complete._" Blaine sang quietly causing Kurt to giggle.

"I don't care how weird it might be, but you are so singing that to me at our wedding." Kurt said and Blaine gave him a shocked look before smirking.

"Mr. Hummel is that your way of asking me to marry you?" Blaine teased. Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Do you even know me? You're gonna get a much better proposal than that honey. Just wait and see." Kurt teased back. Blaine laughed and kissed Kurt once again.

"From you I would expect nothing short of amazing."

* * *

><p><strong>...A year and a half later...<strong>

"This school hasn't changed a bit." Wes said looking around the school wistfully.

"Dalton wasn't really the kind of school to change." Blaine pointed out as they walked down the stairs.

"It was more like a safe haven." Nick chimed in. Jeff snorted.

"Save havens don't have excessive amounts of homework." Jeff said. Nick gave Jeff a mock annoyed look.

"Despite the excessive amounts of homework, I think most of us can agree that this place has brought us a lot of joy." Nick said.

"And Kurt. Don't forget Kurt." David spoke up.

"Technically, Blaine brought Kurt here." Wes said.

"I didn't bring Kurt to Dalton. He came here himself." Blaine rolled his eyes fondly at his crazy friends. It was kind of rare for them all to be in the same place at the same time nowadays. It was nice to be with them.

"Speaking of Kurt, where is he?" Nick asked Blaine.

"He's spending the day with his dad. He said he'll make sure to catch up with us later on." Blaine smiled. Kurt was so happy to be back home. Kurt had seemed very stressed lately with work so Blaine took it upon himself to fix that. He was about to continue walking down the hallway when the boys just pulled him towards where the common room was. "Where are we going?" He asked them suspiciously.

"To the common room." Jeff shrugged.

"Um don't you think that people might be practicing in there?" Blaine asked, narrowing hims eyes at them. Something was up.

"Oh Blaine." David smirked, placing an arm around his shoulder. "We are like school royalty. We can do anything we want."

"Okay Wes you're the only sane person here." He ignored Nick's indignant _hey. _"What's going on?"

"Just trust us." Wes smiled at him. They made it to the common room and let him inside, but didn't follow him. He frowned when they all just smiled at him and closed the door.

"What the hell guys?" He asked, hearing snickering on the other side of the door.

"Not fun to be on the other side of a surprise is it?" Blaine jumped at the voice he heard. He turned quickly and couldn't help but laugh in disbelief.

"Kurt?" He asked. Kurt was standing in front of him with yellow and red roses.

"Totally cheesy of me right? I almost considered wearing my old Dalton uniform too." Kurt laughed despite, while he walked up to his boyfriend and handed him the flowers.

"Is this the part where you ask me to be your boyfriend?" Blaine teased him.

"No." Kurt smiled. "This is the part where I tell you how special you are to me. How much confidence and strength you gave me to just be myself. How much I love you for all that you've done for me. Blaine you are just so precious to me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Kurt got on one knee and looked up at Blaine who was now openly crying. "You are my best friend. You are the love of my life. So Blaine Anderson, will you marry me?" He asked. Blaine nodded, unable to speak just yet. He pulled Kurt up and kissed him hard. He pulled away slowly and smiled.

"Yes, I would love to marry you baby." Kurt was crying now too. He put the ring on Blaine's finger before kissing him again.

"God, I love you so much." Kurt murmured against his lips. They didn't even part when the boys let themselves into the room.

"Okay you two. I don't think it would be appropriate to have sex in the middle of the common room." Wes said. Kurt glared at him halfheartedly when Blaine pulled away from him.

"I'm much classier than that, thank you." Kurt huffed causing all the guys to laugh. Blaine kissed his cheek.

"We're so happy for you two." Nick told them both.

"Yeah, frankly it's about time. I've been waiting for this moment forever." Jeff smiled, hugging them both at the same time.

"So when do you guys start picking your best man? So I can start reminding you of all the wonderful things I've done for you." David said. Kurt shook his head.

"Um excuse you but if anyone they would pick me." Jeff told David, feeling superior.

"Sorry honey, but it's gonna be me of course." Nick patted his boyfriend on the shoulder.

"You guys are you really arguing about this?" Wes asked, always the voice of reason. "They just got engaged." Kurt smiled at Wes.

"Thank you Wes. You really are the only sane one." Kurt said.

"You're welcome. I have to keep them in line because the best man is obviously going to be me." Wes said casually. Causing the other three to get into an actual argument. Kurt and Blaine looked on amused.

"Hey, do you want to get out here and celebrate this engagement?" Blaine asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Let's go." They walked away from the arguing group of boys as discretely as possible.

* * *

><p><strong>...A year later...<strong>

"I knew having you as a friend would lead to me wearing a fabulous maid of honor dress." Santana spun around in her gorgeous red dress.

"As a fashion designer, I couldn't be more proud of myself. You look stunning." Kurt smiled widely at her through the mirror he was looking at his outfit in.

"Still can't believe you made this dress Porcelain. I mean you randomly decide that you want to do fashion over music and suddenly you're a pro." Santana complimented him.

"Hey, I sometimes do some off Broadway plays but I don't know, I feel at home with both. I've always loved fashion." Kurt said still fiddling with his suit.

"Hummel stop messing around with your clothes. You look amazing. Blaine won't be able to take his eyes off you." Santana said softly, coming over to him and fixing his tie herself. "Now I'm going to go check on Britt, do you need me to send in one of your millions of best men?" She joked. He rolled his eyes. He and Blaine had three best men each. Finn, Wes, and Nick were his and Cooper, Nick, and David were Blaine's. Not the most traditional wedding at all but they didn't care.

"Yeah ask Finn to come." He told her. She kissed his cheek and left the room promptly. Finn appeared a few minutes later.

"Hey, you needed me?" Finn asked.

"Just wanted some company." Kurt smiled at his brother. "How is everything going out there?"

"Well you and Blaine planned this wedding so it's awesome." Finn shrugged causing to Kurt laugh. "Seriously man. I'm so happy for you guys. I can only hope, my and Rachel's will be half as awesome."

"Please, as if Rachel would want anything less than extravagant. You're going to have a pretty kick ass wedding whenever you guys decide to get married." Finn nodded and laughed because he knew how Rachel was.

"You know I've always pictured you and Blaine having a happy ending." Finn admitted. Kurt looked at him half amused, half curious. "Not like the fairytale riding off into the sunset on a carriage kind of thing but like the real deal. You two deserve each other." Kurt walked over to hug Finn tightly.

"Have I ever told you that you're the best brother anyone could possibly have?" Kurt asked.

"Yesterday you yelled at me for not savoring my food enough." Finn reminded him.

"You scarfed down more than half of your food before I even got a chance to sit down!" Kurt said sounding outraged but also giggling along with how silly it was.

"You should take it as a compliment. Your cooking is the best dude." Finn said. Kurt rolled his eyes but smiled. They both turned when they heard a knock on the door.

"Come in." Kurt instructed. The door opened revealing Cooper.

"Everything is all set K. Are ready to finally marry my brother?" Cooper asked, obviously overjoyed.

"Beyond ready Coop. You have no idea." Kurt told him but then frowned at him. "Shouldn't you and Finn be walking down the aisle together already?"

"I came to get Finn, relax groomzilla." Cooper said, snickering when Kurt glared at him. "You know usually the brides maids walk down with the grooms people."

"Well we both have three best men and one maid of honor. And Nick and Jeff, Wes and David, and Santana and Brittany don't mind it." Kurt said tiredly. They've had this discussion numerous times.

"Again, may I point out that all of those people are in relationships with each other." Cooper groaned.

"Not Wes and David." Kurt denied. Cooper scoffed.

"They might as well be. They call all their duets_ bromantic _duets Kurt." Cooper stressed. Finn chuckled. "I'm just saying, I should be walking down the aisle with a beautiful single lady, who I could have a little fun with later." Cooper wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Kurt shook his head.

"Which is exactly why you are walking down the aisle with Finn, you sex addict." Kurt said opening the door and ushering him and Finn out.

"It's in the Anderson blood K. You're going to have to learn to live with it." Cooper smirked, laughing when Kurt blushed.

"Santana said Kurt is just as bad as Blaine." Finn told Cooper. Kurt closed the door on them immediately. _Those are my brothers, _he thought, _my crazy insane brothers._

A few minutes later his dad poked his head in the door.

"Ready kiddo?" He asked. Kurt nodded.

"I've never been more ready for anything in my entire life."

* * *

><p><strong>...4 years later...<strong>

"Do you ever think about starting a family?"

Kurt should have seen it coming. Sure he's noticed the reactions Blaine's been having lately, so it shouldn't have been such a surprise that Blaine would want kids. The other day at the supermarket, he was making silly faces at a kid to make him laugh. He cooed every time he saw a couple with a baby. He even babysat for one of their friends before. Blaine was amazing with kids.

Kurt didn't mind kids. He actually wasn't too bad with them either. But the thought of being a father didn't sit right with him for some reason.

"Sometimes." It was the truth. But probably not in the way Blaine thought it was.

"How many kids do you want?" Blaine asked him, obviously happy about having this conversation.

"Don't you think it's a bit early to start thinking about kids?" Kurt asked, hating himself a bit when he saw Blaine's face fall.

"We're 28 years old Kurt. I don't think that too early to start thinking about kids." Blaine said frowning.

"It's a lot of work. It takes forever to get on the adoption lists. Choosing a surrogate would be so hard. Not to mention we would probably need to get another place. Maybe we should just wait a few years." Kurt said, just staring at the TV. He didn't want to see the reaction on Blaine's face fall again.

"It's going to be a lot of work, but it's going to be worth it in the end. Don't you think?" Blaine asked him. Kurt shifted uncomfortably.

"Blaine can we just finish the movie? I don't feel like talking about this right now." Kurt asked, trying to avoid the conversation.

"No we aren't avoiding this anymore." Blaine said taking the remote and turning off the TV. "I've been giving you hints all month and you've been just ignoring them." Kurt looked over at Blaine and was surprised at how choked up about this he was. Even though he shouldn't have been so surprised. Kurt knew how much Blaine wanted to be a dad. "Do you not want to have kids with me?" Those tears in Blaine's eyes hurt so much.

"I want a family with you Blaine. Just not right now." Kurt said taking one of Blaine's hands. He didn't know why he couldn't tell Blaine how terrified the idea of kids made him. Blaine just nodded and turned the TV back on. The rest of the night he barely talked to him.

When Blaine went to sleep that night Kurt stayed awake. He left the bedroom quietly and dialed the number of the only person that may be able to help him.

"Kiddo it's after midnight. Your old man needs some rest you know." Burt said tiredly on the other line. Hearing his father's voice made him feel safe and warm. He could only wish that he would do the same for his own kid. But he could only imagine the worse.

"Blaine wants kids." Kurt blurted out. The line was silent for a bit. "And I know he would be an amazing father but I'm so scared dad. I don't want to mess any one up. I don't want to be the bad parent. I don't know what I'm what I'm doing."

"Buddy do you really think that you will be a bad parent? You're going to be amazing. Parenting is difficult but you'll get the hang of it." When Kurt didn't say anything he continued. "Why are you so afraid?"

"I don't want to mess up someone's life. I know I'm not like mom was but what if having a kid changes that? I would hate myself if I ever hurt my own kid." Kurt cried. He broke off into sobs after that. He jumped when he felt a hand taking the phone out of his hand and an arm wrapping around his shoulders.

"I've got it from here Burt." Blaine murmured. Kurt couldn't make out what his dad said next. "Alright. Yeah we'll call you back in the morning. Okay we love you too. Goodnight." He saw Blaine end the call and put the phone down. He looked at him with sad eyes.

"Why didn't you just tell me you were afraid sweetheart?" Blaine asked him looking a little hurt still.

"I don't know." Kurt admitted. "I didn't want you to leave me."

"Kurt, I would never leave you. If you don't want to have kids, sure I'll be a little sad but I'll get over it because I love you. You are my husband Kurt and I would never do anything to make you feel scared." Blaine said honestly. Kurt was constantly surprised at how much Blaine would sacrifice for him. Kurt always felt bad because of this. Blaine was always so giving.

"You never make me feel scared. It's just...the idea that maybe having a kid would turn me into the person that I've been trying so hard not to become." Kurt tried to explain. He felt as if he were 16 again. Still fearing his mother and afraid that he was only a few steps away from becoming just like her.

"Kurt if you have a kid will you love them no matter what?" Blaine asked him.

"Of course I will." Kurt said without hesitating.

"Would you ever hit them? Or hurt them in any way?" Blaine questioned him.

"No. I wouldn't."

"Then I promise you that you will a great father. That our child will love you so much and they'll feel safe with you." Blaine gave him a small loving smile. "You know what it's like to not feel safe and not feel loved by a parent. I know that you would never treat your child like that." Kurt closed his eyes and rested his head on Blaine's shoulder. He was bursting with emotions that he didn't know how to let out. "You would make a great dad." Kurt whispered. He felt Blaine kiss the top of his head.

"So would you." Blaine murmured. "You're going to be just like your dad. Kind, loving, understanding. It's all going to be okay. I promise you." Kurt nodded, and shifted himself so he was facing Blaine. He took a deep breath and held both of Blaine's hands.

"I want to have kids with you." The smile on Blaine's face was enough to make him know he was making the right decision.

"A-are you sure? Because we can wait. I want you to be completely ready." Blaine said, despite all the happiness he was feeling inside when Kurt said he wanted to have kids. Kurt simply kissed him on the lips.

"Do you want to adopt or get a surrogate?"

* * *

><p><strong>...2 years later<strong>

"Okay, you guys can go inside and meet all the kids. Just say hi and let me know if you feel a special connection with anyone of them. Take your time." The lady said with a sweet smile on her face. Kurt was a bundle of nerves. He didn't know if he could do this. What if all the kids hated him? He felt Blaine squeeze his hand.

"It's going to be okay." He said. Kurt closed his eyes took a breath and nodded before opening his eyes again.

"Okay. Let's go."

They walk inside and most of the kids are doing there own thing. There are some other people around interacting with some of the kids but otherwise they were preoccupied.

"Where do we start?" Kurt asked quietly. Blaine just walked them over to a table where two kids were coloring together. Blaine introduced himself and Kurt and the he asked the kids about themselves. The kids in turn asked them both to color with them. Blaine did most of the talking since Kurt's nervousness had gotten the best to him. Kurt jumped when he felt a tug on the hand Blaine wasn't holding. He looked over to see a little boy with curly red hair looking up at him.

"H-hello." Kurt said softly, giving the little boy his full attention.

"I'm Oliver. What's your name?" The little boy asked him. Kurt was in shock. This little kid came to him for some reason. Suddenly he felt his nervousness ebbing.

"I'm Kurt." He told him. Oliver nodded and suddenly reached up to his neck. He tensed a bit when he felt the little boy touch his scar that his mother gave him so long ago. He was surprised at how gentle the little boy was.

"I'm sorry." The little boy took his hand away. "I have scratch too." Oliver brushed back the curls that dangled on his forehead revealing a scar going horizontal on his forehead. Kurt's eyes widened and his jaw dropped a bit. "Mine doesn't hurt anymore." Then he looked over to where Kurt and Blaine's hands were intertwined. "Are you married?"

"Uh yeah, this is my husband Blaine." Kurt introduces him. Blaine had been listening the whole time, perfectly content with just watching Kurt interact with the cute little boy.

"Hi Oliver." Blaine greeted him with a smile.

"Are you taking care of him?" He asked Blaine. Which shocked both of them.

"Of course. We take care of each other." Blaine told him. Oliver looked happy with their answer.

"My dad didn't take care of my mom. He was mean to her. One day she was gone and then I was here. Ms. Katie said that she's happy now and she's watching over me. Which makes me happy." Oliver mumbled to them, while climbing into Kurt's lap. Kurt's mouth dropped opened at the boy's words. He seemed like he was no older than six years old or seven years old yet he talked like this. "She said she's going to find a family to take care of me and make me feel safe." He took the crayon that Kurt was using before and started coloring on a blank piece of paper. Kurt looked over at Blaine hoping his eyes were able to tell him what he was thinking.

"Hey Oliver?" Blaine asked him. Oliver looked up at him. "How would you feel like living with us? We would keep you safe." Oliver looked back and forth between the two.

"You want me?" Oliver looked surprised. Kurt wondered how long he had been here for.

"Of course we do. As long as you want to live with us." Kurt said. He was so sure that Oliver was a perfect addition to their family. Was it strange for him to already love a kid he hardly knew?

"I like you." Oliver said beaming happily at Kurt then at Blaine. "Does that mean you'll both be my daddies?"

"Sure buddy. As long as you're okay with that." Blaine said. Oliver scooted himself over to Blaine and hugged him. Blaine looked at him with glassy eyes and Kurt could feel tears in his eyes as well. They were going to be a family. Oliver hugged him next and that's when Kurt knew that this was his family and all his doubts and nervousness were gone.

"Come on let's go tell Ms. Katie." Blaine said standing up and taking Oliver's hand. Oliver reached for Kurt's hand and they walked to the other room together. Being a father wouldn't be easy but Kurt would do anything for this boy and he knew Blaine would too.

* * *

><p><strong>...2 years later...<strong>

"There's my grandson." Burt said picking up Oliver who had attached himself to his leg. "How are you doing Ollie?"

"Good! I learned my 13 times table! 13 times 1 is 13. 13 times 2 is 26. 13 times 3 is 39..."

"Woah there buddy, I believe you. I bet your uncle Finn doesn't believe you though." Burt said and chuckled when Oliver wiggled himself out of his grip to run over to Finn. Blaine smiled at him.

"He's been really excited about multiplication lately." Blaine told him. Burt laughed and walked over to hug Blaine.

"He's a smart kid. You two are raising him well." Burt patted his back before releasing him. Blaine smiled.

"How could we not? He's the best kid in the world." Blaine said looking over at his son with a proud look on his face.

"He certainly is." Kurt said appearing with Oliver's book bag in the doorway. "Hey dad." Kurt said moving in to hug his dad tightly.

"Hey kiddo." Kurt laughed at the nickname his dad wouldn't let go of even though he was 32 now.

"Where's Ollie? Reciting his times table again?" Kurt asked soundly extremely amused.

"Finn can handle it. He is an elementary school teacher after all." Blaine reminded him.

"Papa! Uncle Finn said he wanted to see if you can say your 13 times table too!" Oliver came running over to drag Blaine to where Finn was. Burt and Kurt snickered at how adorable he was.

"So how's everything been son?" Burt asked.

"Everything has been just amazing dad. I'm so happy he's liking school. He's making friends and he's comfortable at home now. " Kurt sighed happily. Burt was so happy to see Kurt smile like that. The first few months after they adopted Oliver were rough. Oliver had nightmares sometimes, which triggered Kurt's nightmares once again. But no matter what, both Kurt and Blaine managed to stay strong for Oliver and take care of him. He was beyond proud of them both.

"I knew you'd be a great father Kurt. That kid looks up to you and Blaine so much." Burt said and Kurt nodded.

"I know. It's the best feeling in the world. We love him so much." Kurt told him. "It's hard sometimes but he's worth it." They both looked on at Oliver, Blaine, and Finn giggling at something then hiding under the table in the kitchen together.

"Daddy! Grandpa! Come here, we're gonna scare Grandma when she comes home!" Oliver whisper shouted to them. They both laughed and walked over to them.

"Mom is going to kill you for scaring her." Kurt told Burt. Carole and Kurt both didn't like to be scared at all.

"Hey, taking risks keeps things interesting." His dad said with a wink.

"Well I guess this family is always one for taking risks." Kurt sighed dramatically, getting under the table with the others.

"Can we get ice cream after we scare Grandma, Daddy? Papa said we could if you said yes." Oliver whispered.

"Of course sweetie." Kurt smiled at him. He felt Oliver press a kiss to his cheek.

"I love you Daddy." Kurt's smile widened.

"I love you too Ollie."

* * *

><p><strong>So what did you think? Let me know by leaving a review. If you need me I'm here crying because i actually finished something.<strong>

**I'm going to miss writing this story so much. Thank you so much everyone who read it, followed, favorited, and reviewed this story. It really means alot. **

**I'm thinking about a prequel or maybe drabbles that have to do with this story. Let me know what you think please! **

**My other idea is of course Kurt centered. Having to do with Kurt not being use to being touchy feely people or people wanting to be around him in general. It will be kind of shy!kurt and it would have some implied violent scenes (not like the ones in this story, completely different) It will be a Klaine story of course. Let me know which idea you would rather read.**

**(And of course i'll continue lost hope to those of you that read it)**

**Seriously thank you all and i hope you enjoyed this story. Kurt is basically who i wish i could be if i didn't have anxiety (the warrior thing in the last chapter refers to my tattoo i recently got as a reminder to stay strong..thats just a little unnecessary fun fact). **

**So until next time everyone! xx**


	36. NOT A CHAPTER! PREQUEL UP!

**Hey guys! Just wanted you to know that I'm writing a Prequel to A New Beginning and I would love if you'd check it out!**

**It's called The End is Near. The first 2 chapters are up! Hope you like it!**

**Thank you! xx**


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